FabSwingers.com forum: Changes to English to Move Talks Forward

By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

So, this is an interesting turn of events! To move the Brexit negotiations on, the European Commission has suggested a few changes to the English language, and May has agreed to it! I bet Bojo, Davis and Fox are spitting feathers!

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU and the UK post Brexit. May's government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

Just a bit of Festive Fun. Merry Christmas to all the politics forum fabbers. Hope you have a good Christmas and New Years.

By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago

Cambridge

The old ones are still the best.

I remember seeing this, or virtually the same, donkeys years ago when I was at school..."