A service of 5 Carols & 1 lesson.
It's Beginning To Feel a Lot Like Brexit (Sung by Rishi to the tune of "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas"
It's beginning to feel a lot like Brexit,
Everywhere I go,
Take a look at the five and ten, it's chaos once again,
With sterling and shares falling low.
It's beginning to feel a lot like Brexit,
Tories on each side,
Talks that go nowhere and a party that has stalled,
As the nation watches, wondering who'll next fall.
It's really beginning to feel like Brexit
God, please not again.
Through fractures and in-fights, it's just endless night,
But here's Hoping I'll make it to twenty-twenty-five.
I Saw Thee Boats Go Sailing Back (Sung by Suella Braverman & Pritti Patel to the tune of "I Saw Three Ships Go Sailing By")
I saw three boats go sailing back, sailing back, sailing back,
I saw three boats go sailing back, on a cold December morning.
"Where are these boats all sailing to?" sailing to, sailing to,
"To distant lands, or so we plan," on this cold December morning.
So now they fly to Rwanda land, Rwanda land, Rwanda land,
But why do they fly to Rwanda land, at such great cost to the government?
Amidst debates and public scorn, public scorn, public scorn,
They're caught in a storm of policy born," on a cold December morning.
What A Deal We Got With Brexit (Sung by the Government Choir to the tune of "What A Friend I have In Jesus")
What a deal we got with Brexit, our new path we do declare,
Trade barriers now confront us, challenges all now laid bare.
Oh, the slowdown in our growth, see our prospects quickly stall,
All for a vision of control, behind our mighty sovereign wall.
Every hurdle, every check-point, marks our new endeavour more,
Gone the ease of free movement, “united” hardly ever now.
Are we weary, heavy-laden, with the costs we have to bear?
Brexit's promise, now we ponder, felt in the chilling air.
We Two Oaths (Sung by Donald Trump and Ruby Giuliani live by satellite from Mar-a-Lago, Florida to the tune of "We Three Kings")
We two oaths from New York are,
Telling lies, it's worked well so far.
Rallying crowds, spinning tales,
Leading a charge that failed.
Oh, oh,
Stars of chaos, stars of fright,
Putin's lead our dubious plight,
Chaos breeding, truth conceding,
Guided us to January's fight.
In the halls where democracy stood,
Came a crowd, up to no good.
Breaking, shouting, hating, fighting,
"Freedom" they claimed, inciting.
Oh, oh,
Stars of chaos, stars of fright,
Putin's lead our dubious plight,
Chaos breeding, truth conceding,
Reckoning comes with legal might.
While Rishi Watched The Polls One Night (Sung by Ken Clark, David Gauke, Justin Greening & Dominic Grieve to the tune of "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night")
"While Rishi watched the polls one night,
The Cabinet all sat round him,
The spirit of Great Margaret T came down,
And fear was all amongst them.
'You fools,' she cried, 'what's this you've done?
My legacy, you've broken.
Brexit's chaos, a costly spree,
Is leaving Britain broken.
Trade barriers, now arising Oh so fast,
Britain's clout severely down graded.
A united market, we once led,
Now fragmented and up ended.
"Fear not" said she, as mighty dread
Had seised their feeble minds.
"Glad tiding of great joy I bring
as soon you'll be ejected".
A reading from the Book Of Brexit, Chapter 1 - All verses (Read by Nigel Farage)
In the beginning was the Sovereignty, and the Sovereignty was with Britain, and the Sovereignty was Britain's own. The same was in the beginning with these Isles. All things were made independent by it; and without it was not any thing made that was made. In it was the light of freedom, and the light shined in the darkness of Europe, and the darkness comprehended it not.
There was a decision made by the people, whose name was Brexit. The same came for a testimony, to bear witness of the Freedom, that all men through it might prosper. It was not that Darkness, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.
That was the true Light, which lighteth every British soul. It came unto its own, and its own received it with open arms. But as many as received it, to them gave it the power to govern themselves, even to them that believe on its name: Which were born, not of regulation, nor of the will of the Union, nor of the will of bureaucrats, but of Britain.
And Britain became enlightened, and Sovereignty dwelt among us, (and we beheld its glory,) glory as of the only begotten of the these Isles, full of grace and autonomy.
No man hath seen such prosperity at any time; the only begotten Sovereignty, which is in the bosom of Britain, it hath declared it so.
This is the faith of Brexit
(All) Braise be to Brexit!, Braise be to Brexit!, Braise be to Brexit! |
