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To Witless.... of the Beach Party kind....!

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus

The party starts at 2pm.

The party ends at 1am.

The list will be at the club by 12pm.

If you are NOT on the list and you are NOT members, you will NOT gain access

I will be there from 2pm.

I am NOT your personal check in girl.

I am NOT your maid.

I am NOT your mother.

I will NOT provide you with condoms if you run out - but Chameleons will.

I will NOT organise for you to shag someone else.

I will NOT hold your hand whilst you talk to a couple to see if there is any attraction there.

I am NOT responsible for your alcohol.

I am NOT responsible for your alcohol intake - I can barely cope with mine.

I am NOT responsible for your dog/kids/car/phone/camera/shoes or any other such luxury.

I am NOT responsible for where you put your stuff if you don't use your lockers.

I am NOT responsible for the buffet and the BBQ or any extra delights that the club provide.......free of charge.

If you don't like what they provide, stop being so tight fisted and eat before you get there

It is NOT my fault if you are a vegan.

It is NOT my fault if you think the place is too packed.

It is NOT my responsibility to find out what time your hotel will let you check in - as most of the local hotels are expecting an influx of randy old pervs, they are expecting you all!!

It is NOT my responsibility to find out if your hotel is within walking distance. If you have booked in Walsall or Wednesbury, stop being so tight fisted and order a £4.00 taxi.

I will NOT be providing extra cigarettes in case you run out - make sure you have enough for a 12 hour + shag fest.

I am NOT your babe/doll/darling/fuck buddy/fuck whore or general quick shag.

I CANNOT guarantee if someone else is going to turn up.

NO I don't know of any babysitters in your vacinity.

NO I can't give you a lift from up North, I live down South.

NO I don't know how many black men will turn up.

NO I don't know if there will be any tall women there.

There are over 400 on our list.

NO I will NOT publish the list.

I MAY get round to making name but then again..... maybe not as they always fall off.

YES there will be music.

YES the new deck is No Smoking

YES the old deck is still Smoking.

NO I don't know how many the jacuzzi's will hold if full - someone did tell me 16 but it depends on how big everyone is. If you are all size 8's - probably about 30 people!

YES I know which staff are working.

NO I am not responsible for the cocktails (Jason is this year, blame him).

NO I will not ask the staff to make a certain cocktail because it's your favourite...... they are free, be thankful for what you get.

And lastly...... yes I am sure you are looking forward to meeting me but to be honest, I tend to sit in a corner and blither after a couple of hours because you all drive me mad.

If you have any further irrelevant and witless questions....... please post them on here. I am sure one of the Posse will give you a sensible answer

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Especially for Ste_Blue....... (Git of the highest order)

can i wear speedo's? - Only if you want to get arrested.

when is it? - When hell freezes over

are we guarenteed sunshine? - This is England....... are you taking the piss?

are inflateables allowed? - Yes, but please note that DiamondSmiles may attach herself to you by way of Superglue .... as she generally does when faced with something large, pink and rubbery!

is the suncream provided? - Bring your own cream....... all of connotations

will there be ice cream? - that would be telling.

can i bring a friend? - If they have a pulse, please put them on the list. If they are dead, please get help from necrophiliacs anonymous and if they are plastic...... please get professional therapy

can i come? - only if you can find someone who floats ya both and can jockey ya knob at 100mph

can i bring my bucket and spade? - if you must....... won't only be Soapy looking like a 3 year old then!

will there be nude sunbathers there? - this is the Beach Party....... half those there get naked by 6pm (ask Evesham Girl.... she's normally the first)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Dear Mrs Madchick would you please write a letter to slimming world explaining that alcohol and icecream was forced upon me through out the day and night and that is the reason ive gained 7lb

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Will there be jelly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will there be custard?

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Dear Mrs Madchick would you please write a letter to slimming world explaining that alcohol and icecream was forced upon me through out the day and night and that is the reason ive gained 7lb"

Consider it done..... either that or I will happily go to a vegan shop and get that sloppy shit that they pass as rice ice cream. No colour, no calories, no flavour!

Your wish is my command

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Will there be jelly? "

No..........

Most of last years jelly was still up ya chuff 10 days later!

**Maddie runs off to hide**

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Will there be custard? "

Nope..........

I've got something much worse planned!

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By *hi-John69Man
over a year ago

chichester

oooohhhhh rice pudding

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"oooohhhhh rice pudding "

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh .........

NO

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

5 days later il have you know!!!

So no jelly? No custard, ok can we have blancmange ?

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"5 days later il have you know!!!

So no jelly? No custard, ok can we have blancmange ? "

No.

Did contemplate Semolina but then decided you'd probably moan at me

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"5 days later il have you know!!!

So no jelly? No custard, ok can we have blancmange ?

No.

Did contemplate Semolina but then decided you'd probably moan at me "
I couldnt possibly comment ..i shall not be getting messy this time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooo there are lots of NO's and it sounds very frightening! Sounds like Stalag 19

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Ooo there are lots of NO's and it sounds very frightening! Sounds like Stalag 19 "

Oh for cripes sake....

I'll stick up a list of Yes's when I get back from work!

(and I can be bothered )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ooo there are lots of NO's and it sounds very frightening! Sounds like Stalag 19

Oh for cripes sake....

I'll stick up a list of Yes's when I get back from work!

(and I can be bothered )"

.

So where is the "Yes" you promised earlier this morning then?

... runs and hides!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have a penchant for tapioca

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"I have a penchant for tapioca"

You....... are just weird!

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Ooo there are lots of NO's and it sounds very frightening! Sounds like Stalag 19

Oh for cripes sake....

I'll stick up a list of Yes's when I get back from work!

(and I can be bothered )

.

So where is the "Yes" you promised earlier this morning then?

... runs and hides! "

It's in a word document and I will get it on here........... honestly woman!!!!

Actually, I think I'd better get it up as I've been given a pm bollocking for being unfriendly

I think some people need to grow a sense of humour.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's that saying? You can't please everyone etc. etc...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Will there be jelly? If not il bring my own, three pots of rowntrees should do it, you know who you are!!!! Sneak in at 5, but i shall find you!!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"will there be nude sunbathers there? - this is the Beach Party....... half those there get naked by 6pm (ask Evesham Girl.... she's normally the first)

"

errrr what???!?!?!?!?

i am ALWAYS on my bestest behaviour

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By *adchick OP   Couple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"will there be nude sunbathers there? - this is the Beach Party....... half those there get naked by 6pm (ask Evesham Girl.... she's normally the first)

errrr what???!?!?!?!?

i am ALWAYS on my bestest behaviour "

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow


"i am ALWAYS on my bestest behaviour "

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