FabSwingers.com forum: Kent swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, I really want to go to a club night and have some fun, but would find it sooo much easier if I went with someone; not something I really want to discuss with my mates so I'm looing for a women in Kent either in a similar position or who is willing to show me the way!!

Have a read of my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Becasue its so much cheaper when you have a woman to go with !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not if I pay for the night! Its about going in a couple and not feeling like a spare part when I arrive lol

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Castle I am sure there are hundreds of men who want to go with a woman so they dont feel a spare part.

It is more easier as a couple than a single man I am sure.

But you need to remember your thinking of your benefit and not sure if your thinking of the womans benefit.

Why not put it in the meet section and see if any single fems want to join you at a club. Remeber tho with so many men probably wanting the same thing you need to stand out of the crowd for some good reasons.

Havent read your profile but why not ask someone your already chatting with to join you. Or if your new to all of this then get in the chat room and get a cam on your face and get involved in conversations and then maybe thru chatting a lady will show interest in you and maybe joining you at a club.

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to admit I am not a great supporter of this style of going to clubs. To me it's quite fraudulent.

Advertise for a swing partner, two people who want to meet regularly just for swinging or even occasionally to do it seems like a sound idea.

But two people who have never met or spoken before getting together and going to a club isn't always a good idea.

Working at clubs in the past I have seen the downside.

Sometimes the lady does it because she doesn't want to go to the club on her own and likes the thought of someone with her she can talk to and have as a chaperone. A very good idea.

Sometimes a guy takes a lady because he quite fancies her.

Often the guy just uses the girl to get into the club then if he gets lucky in the club dumps her at the bar while he goes off playing or roaming round.

There is also the thing about not being in a relationship, many couples only play with people in long term relationships but when you go into a couples only area it is not always clear if the people are just together for the night.

We have played with FBs in the past and it wasn't great, the guy didn't care if his partner was having fun, he pushed her on people she didn't fancy because he did fancy them etc.

Now obviously all men are different but the men and women considering getting together to go to a club should consider all aspects of what they are commiting themselves to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I'd hope anyone who would consider going had already considered the comments you have made above; it works both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I'd hope anyone who would consider going had already considered the comments you have made above; it works both ways "

What Jed said was right,he wasnt attacking you for wanting to find a female to go to clubs.

We have seen it ourselves in clubs where a "couple" arrive together,the woman gets dumped at the bar while the guy is off chasing anything he can get his hands on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/10/10 18:08:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I'd hope anyone who would consider going had already considered the comments you have made above; it works both ways "

Of course but as I said, my views come from seeing the situations unfold in clubs I have worked at, Females left alone by thier "partners" females left without transport home at the end of the night (far too common an occurence) men and women getting possesive about the person they only agreed to attend the club with and so on.

Of course this happens occasionally with couples in relationships but it is not so common.

It is however worth mentioning because not everyone goes into every situation with the benefit of wisdom, hindsight, experience or advice and perhaps it will help someone think about some of the pitfalls they might encounter and what to do to avoid them.

I did say it was a good thing and that it can be great for all parties but like most things in life, not always the perfect solution.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Sometimes the lady does it because she doesn't want to go to the club on her own and likes the thought of someone with her she can talk to and have as a chaperone. A very good idea.

Sounds like double standards here - it's OK for a woman to ask for a chaperone, but not for a man...

But that's life...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody has said it't wrong to do it, what has been said is that it does take thought, I personally said it was a good idea "done right" and pointed out some of the pitfalls.

Assuming that it is as simple as saying "yes lets go together" is as illconcieved as saying "another go at single males woe is us, woe is us."

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Are single males not allowed to have a view point without it being said "woe is us, etc"

Their point is just as valid as a couples and single ladies view points!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is the other scenario worth discussing - couples arranging to meet at clubs, most of the time this is a great idea but sometimes it all goes horribly wrong too.

I have seen couples do this then when they all get to the club 1 couple isn't as keen on the other couple as they thought they would be when they viewed pictures and chatted in mail/msn.

Then they get pissed off because the other couple expects them to play or follows them round all night.

Sometimes one of the couples arrives at the club and sees others there that they know or others that they would like to play with but are dogged by the couple they pre-arranged to meet.

We pre-arrange meets at clubs sometimes but always make it clear that it's on a "no strings" basis so as to try and avoid such situations.

I have also seen couples fall out at clubs after travelling there together leaving either a long silent and awkward journey home or worse 1 couple stranded a long way from home.

Just trying to give some "food for thought" to anyone who might find it usefull.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are single males not allowed to have a view point without it being said "woe is us, etc"

Their point is just as valid as a couples and single ladies view points!

Of course thier opinion is wanted, warrented and valued, but mention the word single male and the cry goes out "double standards" "couples do it too" "females can be as bad"

The simple fact is that single males are generally more guilty of this because-

They cant always get into a club on thier own - couples and females can

They usually do the driving, because it is a nice gesture and many single females have a problem with transport.

The single females are less likely to go "wondering round looking for action" since they only have to declare the willingess to play at the bar to get the attention they seek.

There are more guys than girls.

It's just simple arithmatic.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"........

It's just simple arithmatic."

It's more a case of the reader of the single male's posts having the mindset to read them like the single male is having a moan (it might be true sometimes but not always) when in fact all they are doing is giving an opinion that differs from the reader!

Wasn't only meaning this thread, there are numerous threads where this happens all the time on.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

They cant always get into a club on thier own - couples and females can

There you go again - more double standards. But as I said in my original post - that is life...

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Of course - not that I mind about clubs having their own entrance policy - I would never go to one - not my thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single males welcome at the Greenhouse in Darlaston, Luton, Newport but NO Couples and No Single Females - oh double standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Private Club Birmingham

Retro Club Walsall

Each pay girls to be there to take care of single guys but they are not required to play with couples or single females.

oh double standards.

Lap Dancing club in West Brom town centre - no females allowed unless your working there - oh double standards

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

ok, i am a single guy and i have to say i agree with jedandsasha, not because i am ingratiating myself with them, we are never likely to meet. but from reading castleviews original post i read it as an attempt to shortcut the meeting and getting on part and jumping straight into the fb attending sex clubs together bit.for a single guy swinging is bloody hard work, but well worth the benefits when it comes off.yes couples do have it easier obviously (wifeSWAPPING as it used to be known as) and single ladies get an easy ride too coz there are simply thousands of single guys out there and considerably fewer ladies. and as for the single guy woe is me, single guys are picked on,etc etc - shut the fek up and either keep plugging away or give it up and go for a wank. whining and whingeing do nothing to make you more attractive or to secure you a shag. there are plenty of people who play on this site, keep going till you find one or change tactics to make yourself more enticing. so having had my rant and probably upsetting 80% of the single guys on here i shall retire and await the flak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your profile would be a better place for you to put what you said above. Putting it on here is bound to tempt people to give you their own opinions on your activity.

There are not really any rules in swinging except those of respect and politeness which some have pointed out are not always observed. However, it would be a good idea to get to know any prospective swing partner first before venturing to clubs methinks. You will both feel happier about things. I wish you fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally as a single female i see no benifits in me going to a club with a guy, infact to be honest it just holds me back

If i go on my own i can go where i like and play with who i like, if i go with someone i have to think about what they want to do too, and they may not want to sit chatting to others when i do, play with who i do, go in jacuzzi when i want to, so to me it just makes more sence to go alone, find a guy to play with there, ditch him after we have played then look for another guy when i want to play again lol

Blunt but honest

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 04/10/10 06:59:28]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Single males welcome at the Greenhouse in Darlaston, Luton, Newport but NO Couples and No Single Females - oh double standards."

Is that as a straight single male or as a bi/gay single male though?

"Private Club Birmingham

Retro Club Walsall

Each pay girls to be there to take care of single guys but they are not required to play with couples or single females.

oh double standards.

Lap Dancing club in West Brom town centre - no females allowed unless your working there - oh double standards"

But what part of that is reflective of what "swinging" is? Personally, I like a girl that is interested in me, not because she's "paid" to be there or "cater to me".

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

But to give my two-cents to the OP, I find it more effective to get to know someone (play or otherwise) before broaching the subject of attending a venue together, even if as a one-off. that way its a chance for both to share ideas of what they want, expect and hope of and from each other.

A "cold" advert for a lady to "accompany me to a club" tends to get an equally cold and echoey response to the inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, I really want to go to a club night and have some fun, but would find it sooo much easier if I went with someone; not something I really want to discuss with my mates so I'm looing for a women in Kent either in a similar position or who is willing to show me the way!!

Have a read of my profile"

oh and don't confuse having fun with finding the way. You may need a female for fun but you can find the way to a club using the postcode and a satnav.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"Personally as a single female i see no benifits in me going to a club with a guy, infact to be honest it just holds me back

Blunt but honest

Naughty I agree with alot of what you say. I do like going alone and making my decisions as I go. Yes if you go with someone then you need to take into consideration his wants too.

Must admit I have gone as a single more than with someone else. Have been to m y local club for the last number of occasions with a gentleman which has given me a different side of fun for the eve but dtill love going on my own.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All I posted was a request if any females wished to attend a club with me; please keep your opinions on another post!! lol

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

ooops, looks like a private post and not open to public comment.

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Kent swinging - Partner wanted!