FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquettes when messaging women.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, so I'm new here. Ive been mainly lurking.

When contacting women about their post is it rude to be straight to the point about what I like about their post, complementing their pics etc..is it better start convo with something general?

Would also appreciate a women's perspective on my profile. Is it too up front? Any tips?

Thanks

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By *lJay82Man
over a year ago

Exactly where I'm meant to be

To be brutally honest, the key is to always be polite. And remember that every one's different.

. The one thing to bear in mind is not to get too disheartened On here because the ladies get an overwhelming amount of messages everyday.

If I was to look back through all of my sent messages. I would estimate 25% of them remain unread 40% are read But not replied to, then 25% deleted without even reading. But then out of the last 10% is a mix of polite people who simply thanks but no thanks or you have something about you that piques their interest and conversation ensues.

Humans are complex creatures and all very different and variety is the spice etc etc.

I remember one particular meet I had years ago with a seemingly timid, shy girl but then a switch would go and she turned into something very different and would shout things like "spit in my mouth and skull fuck me" etc etc. If you said that to 99% of people, they would be horrified but then that magical 1% that find that shared interest. Just be yourself and good will come.

I will most likely be shot down in flames now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks man. That's really helpful.

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By *ifemale32GGWoman
over a year ago

Telford

The thing you have to remember is that women get their inboxes so flooded that unfortunately we sometimes have to block all single men just to catch up/avoid overwhelm. Sadly because of the way fab works, if you’ve messaged someone before they then aren’t blocked when you hit the “block all” button. So if you don’t like someone and want to be able to clock them in future you can’t risk sending them a polite “no thanks” because that will open the gates for them to spam you when you’ve decided you need a break. After about 6-9 messages I’ll just block the individual but I’d rather not do that as I want them to be able to enjoy my pictures, even if they are someone I don’t want to interact with personally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the reply. I don't think iv ever emailed the same person twice no matter how tempting that is.

Oh and I enjoyed looking at pics. You have a great figure.

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By *ifemale32GGWoman
over a year ago

Telford

"Thanks for the reply. I don't think iv ever emailed the same person twice no matter how tempting that is.

Oh and I enjoyed looking at pics. You have a great figure.

You are too kind.

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

It boils down to do what you'd like to do but don't expect to for someone to act or reply or behave how you want...I do t see why it's such a hard concept it's like knocking a door you don't know if they are home are you going to wait until they open the door or are you going to accept they may not have heard you or want to buy your faster broadband lol

If you like a picture say so if you think their profile is interesting and send a message etc... the end sending the same cut and paste message annoys probably everyone

You can't force anyone to reply

You can't force anyone to add you

If they do then good continue and enjoy each message as if it's the first

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By *rLordMan
over a year ago

Swadlincote

It's like trying to chat the local barmaid up, they have heard all the chat up lines.

Heard them over and over, just be yourself and polite. Make sure your honest in you statements.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks. I appreciate the advice ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Agree. The hard part, as always, is being original.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

You've already had plenty of great advice but I have one question to ask: what do you mean by "messaging women about their posts"? If you mean forum posts, the idea of them is to start (or reply to) a conversation with many people on Fab. And many people don't like being messaged privately regarding their posts, unless the private message is about something that can't be posted on a public or something you don't feel is suitable for the public forum.

If by "posts" you mean women's profile, you already had loads of great advice.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

All above is true. There is one exception and that's the posts that say send-a-message-to-the-poster-above, here the implied invitation is given to the next person to message the former.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh by post I mean profile! Should've made that clearer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's like trying to chat the local barmaid up, they have heard all the chat up lines.

Heard them over and over, just be yourself and polite. Make sure your honest in you statements. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, so I'm new here. Ive been mainly lurking.

When contacting women about their post is it rude to be straight to the point about what I like about their post, complementing their pics etc..is it better start convo with something general?

Would also appreciate a women's perspective on my profile. Is it too up front? Any tips?

Thanks"

How did you chat up your wife? Ask her for tips.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"It's like trying to chat the local barmaid up, they have heard all the chat up lines.

Heard them over and over, just be yourself and polite. Make sure your honest in you statements.

Yes, you've nailed it, mind you I've just been chatted up by a barmaid on holiday, because she liked my aquarium themed coral reef themed Hawaiian shirt. So that was really good for my fragile male ego.

I wished I discovered these shirts years ago: 3 strangers giving me compliments in the same day, one of the best forms of therapy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadly because of the way fab works, if you’ve messaged someone before they then aren’t blocked when you hit the “block all” button. So if you don’t like someone and want to be able to clock them in future you can’t risk sending them a polite “no thanks” because that will open the gates for them to spam you when you’ve decided you need a break. "

I didn't know that! Can you put this one on the site feedback, they might fix it some way.

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By *atureguy65Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Hi, Outsider. Just a question for you - you restrict your preferred age to 38-39. Thats very narrow - is it effective?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, Outsider. Just a question for you - you restrict your preferred age to 38-39. Thats very narrow - is it effective? "

Yes.

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