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unwritten rules of life....

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By *abio OP   Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

like for example.. women will go to loos in packs... but men.... nooooo!!

or speed limits on roads... 10% + 5mph....

or men not speaking to each other at the urinals...

or if you take alcohol to a friends house and there is any left over cans.. you leave it there....

whoever is driving gets to choose what music is played....

so what would be yours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My house, my toilet, if ya want it down do it yaself.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

you never change your your football team, bank or political party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you never change your your football team, bank or political party "

Football team, yeah I'd agree, but Banks and Politics are as changeable as the weather. (except up here in the North East where a donkey wearing a red rosette can get elected)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

For a girl, if you’re in the bathroom for longer than 10 minutes you’re probably on your period, talking to friends, doing make-up, or texting.

For a guy, if you do it, you’re probably taking a shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Women win all the arguements.........its the law

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Men at the urinal, more than two shakes is classed as a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When using a urinal at least 1 space must be left between you and your neighbour. If there are no spaces you may use a cubicle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its rude not to finish a bottle of wine once its been opened

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

No matter where you are or how old you are, if a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone, you answer it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No matter where you are or how old you are, if a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone, you answer it. "

SO true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My house my music.

if you pick up any of my guitars you play a tune.

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

If you message me, you send me a face pic first lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never shit where you eat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its rude not to finish a bottle of wine once its been opened "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expect the unexpected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't shit on your own doorstep!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No matter where you are or how old you are, if a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone, you answer it. "

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BOO!!

What did I tell you?

Always tand in front of a shitter and behind a shooter and you'll never get shit on or shot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*stand

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"No matter where you are or how old you are, if a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone, you answer it. "

I love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't ever eat a three course meal in reverse ie; dessert, main course and then starter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always let the lady cum first !

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree


"You can't ever eat a three course meal in reverse ie; dessert, main course and then starter "

I am so going to do that in a restaurant one day, it's on my bucket list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never fart and say 'was that me?'

Dont puke anywhere apart from down the loo or in a bucket or basin (provided).

Never critise the person thats driving driving standard.

Always take your own toothbrush, never use the hosts.

Make sure breath is always minty fresh.

Picking noses and eating it or wiping it on a couch, jumper etc is just disgusting.

Do not sniff snot back - use a hankie!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee "

Look straight ahead or down....if anyone talks to you...tell them to fcuk off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee

Look straight ahead or down....if anyone talks to you...tell them to fcuk off "

Unless it's George Michael, in which case you say, "You're fookin nicked, mate!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee

Look straight ahead or down....if anyone talks to you...tell them to fcuk off

Unless it's George Michael, in which case you say, "You're fookin nicked, mate!" "

Thought he said "your nicked" when George was half way through sucking his cock?..

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

a bird in the hand shits on your wrist.

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Always ask before wiping your dick on the curtains

Apparently some don't like it

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

Never duck a fuck and never fuck a duck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee

Look straight ahead or down....if anyone talks to you...tell them to fcuk off

Unless it's George Michael, in which case you say, "You're fookin nicked, mate!"

Thought he said "your nicked" when George was half way through sucking his cock?.. "

Ladies....imagine being in a lift in a hotel...all those in it are strangers....no one speaks simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Football team, yeah I'd agree, but Banks and Politics are as changeable as the weather. (except up here in the North East where a donkey wearing a red rosette can get elected) "

But they are the politicians aren't they??

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By *ickeyandrewsMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Lol.

Well in my case you look where your pointing for starters, there's no fun in weeing on your shoes or encountering splashback issues lol.

Most blokes will usually do anything to look anywhere than at any of the other guys having a wee. Maybe some blokes will have a sly glance to check out the competition or enjoy the view if they're that way inclined.

Service station toilets are usually best as they always have a little poster advert to read. Any bloke reading this will know just how much those Road Angel posters have been read. Some posters are great with pretty ladies looking down with a speech bubble saying "That's a big one", makes you feel even better as well as managing to drain your bladder after being stuck in traffic jams for four hours on the M6.

Oh by the way blokes will use the cubicles to have a wee if there's an uncomfortably high number queing up for the urinals. In fact it's rare more takes place in the cubicles unless you have a very upset stomach caused by a dodgy tummy and nerves for that all important job interview, but memories of school toilets and tracing paper loo roll always comes back to haunt you.

Try googling for the "Urinal Game" and you'll see just how complex going to the loo for a man really is.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

NEVER say how well the traffic is flowing or that you are having a good run on the motorway. The traffic demons hear and you suddenly find yourself in a 10 mile tailback.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never choose the shortest queue at a supermarket checkout

(Or those bloody DIY checkouts)

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

Don't eat yellow snow

Test twice die never

Never start a fight only finish one

Be nice to everyone until they prove otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything that has ever been built was built by people no smarter than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never leave a woman unsatisfied !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never leave a woman unsatisfied ! "

Guess she got to keep the dog...and the house.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee "

i did once llo at a west indian guy noticed he had a tatoo on his cock that said wendy .asked him who wendy was and he said " its not wendy it welcome to jamaica and have a nice day "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"NEVER say how well the traffic is flowing or that you are having a good run on the motorway. The traffic demons hear and you suddenly find yourself in a 10 mile tailback."

sounds like my daily commute that . . . . every day i think 'oh this road/motorway/farmers field is pretty clear' then . . . . WHAM!! the traffic all appears!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/05/12 19:22:32]

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By *idlifecrisis40Man
over a year ago

Manchester (North)

Thanking someone for having sex with you is bad, thanking someone for a lovely evening is good.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Never leave a woman unsatisfied ! "

We need to test that one out

If you are in a rush all the tractors in the world will drive in front of you!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never leave a woman unsatisfied !

We need to test that one out

If you are in a rush all the tractors in the world will drive in front of you!!!"

Slow & steady wins the race.... Ready when you are

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

Never cross a woman and leave knives in the house

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Just going slightly off track, I've always wanted to know what goes on in urinals. Do guys ever look at another guys cock for comparison or if not where do you look, at your own cock or at the wall and do guys ever go in the cubicles just to wee "

Apparently this is what happens in urinals Iconic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJmgLqQ-uog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you are riled, count to five.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"like for example.. women will go to loos in packs... but men.... nooooo!!

or speed limits on roads... 10% + 5mph....

or men not speaking to each other at the urinals...

or if you take alcohol to a friends house and there is any left over cans.. you leave it there....

whoever is driving gets to choose what music is played....

so what would be yours?"

10% + 5 mph is a myth believe me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"like for example.. women will go to loos in packs... but men.... nooooo!!

or speed limits on roads... 10% + 5mph....

or men not speaking to each other at the urinals...

or if you take alcohol to a friends house and there is any left over cans.. you leave it there....

whoever is driving gets to choose what music is played....

so what would be yours?

10% + 5 mph is a myth believe me "

Nope....know a copper and it 10% plus 2 miles an hours. That what your taught in police training

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"like for example.. women will go to loos in packs... but men.... nooooo!!

or speed limits on roads... 10% + 5mph....

or men not speaking to each other at the urinals...

or if you take alcohol to a friends house and there is any left over cans.. you leave it there....

whoever is driving gets to choose what music is played....

so what would be yours?

10% + 5 mph is a myth believe me "

Nope....know a copper and it 10% plus 2 miles an hours. That what your taught in police training

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

any physical injury you sustain has a magnetic almost magical power that attracts constant knocks esoecially if its to toes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When chipping in for a shared meal bill, always pay over the odds.

...Unless you want to stitch up the collector

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By *razydriver8Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

when your not looking for fun.. everyone is free, when you're looking no bugger wants you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" when your not looking for fun.. everyone is free, when you're looking no bugger wants you.. "

True, it's like buses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can get it easy, take it twice..

If you can get it twice, take it easy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can't ever eat a three course meal in reverse ie; dessert, main course and then starter "
. eh? why not? lol

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By *amsohotWoman
over a year ago

Inner London


"If you message me, you send me a face pic first lol"

hahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women win all the arguements.........its the law "

When Men have made a very valid point that women can't fully respond to, the men then pretend they believe the woman to have won.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FIVE SECRETS TO A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP: 1) Its important to have a woman who helps at home & knows how to cook, clean & has a job. 2) Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3) Its important to have a woman you can trust & wants only you. 4) Its important to have a woman who is good in bed & enjoys being with you. 5) Its absolutely f*cking vital that these four women dont know each other!!

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By *araidWoman
over a year ago

the west (ish)


"You can't ever eat a three course meal in reverse ie; dessert, main course and then starter "

Isnt that what happens at a McGonnigle Night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't fuck your mam or punch your dad

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

When you want AA batteries you will find AAA.

When you need AAA you will find AA.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When insulting a lady with a drink in her hand in a pub keep your mouth open for a free drink

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