FabSwingers.com forum: Body positivity

By *hMyGawd OP Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

And is it healthy to have an echo chamber full of "fat positive" people, patting each other on the backs, insisting the rest of the world should change and see being obese as normal and/or desirable?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Don't tell them anything just give them "the look" when they're going for another doughnut..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinder not to do this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why express an opinion or offer advice on someone else's body at all?

Us fat people know we are fat, and the vast majority also know the research on health impact of said obesity.

Body positivity is not about promoting obesity, rather stating its OK not to loathe what ever body you have be it obese or anorexic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

And is it healthy to have an echo chamber full of "fat positive" people, patting each other on the backs, insisting the rest of the world should change and see being obese as normal and/or desirable?"

It must be so nice to be perfect like you!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I always told my daughter if she was putting weight on when she was a teenager. She hated it at the time but thanked me in later years for encouraging healthy eating and exercise.

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

This is going to be one of those body shaming threads dressed up as something else.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

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By *hedevilKTWoman
over a year ago

milton keynes

Who are u to comment on someone’s size if they are larger they know about it and people don’t help it just gets annoying cause u won’t be the first to say it.

plus some may have medical reason for it and that sucks when ppl preach at you and there’s nothing u can do about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kinder not to do this thread

How true!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think it’s kinder to just mind our own business and let folk get on with making their own lifestyle choices without haranguing them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it is each to their own. No one should be shamed for being eho they are and if that doesn't live up to your standards even if science agrees then is it hurting you? The only peraon anyone has any control or say over is themselves so as long as you are happy and not hurting anyone crack on

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Not for me to comment. If it was a loved one who wanted to lose weight I would happily support and encourage.

Not really any of my business otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being fat/obese or whatever you want to call it, I would much prefer people didn't tell me anything about my size...mainly because it's fuck all to do with them.

But thanks again for you starting yet another thread about bigger people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who are u to comment on someone’s size if they are larger they know about it and people don’t help it just gets annoying cause u won’t be the first to say it.

plus some may have medical reason for it and that sucks when ppl preach at you and there’s nothing u can do about."

Unfortunately there are those people who have to shame others to feel better about themselves!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I’m currently overweight after high level hormone treatment & an operation. I don’t need it sugar coating but I don’t need to be told by other people either. I have eyes, mirrors & a big belly to remind me

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably wouldn't say it to a total stranger as I would like to keep my teeth tyvm

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat. "

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From an obese person's opinion:

I'm aware that I'm not as healthy as I should be. Even though I've been overweight pretty much my whole life, the health side has never really been an issue until recently. But I'm working on it. It's hard and I've had slip ups because it's not as black and white as "just eat less and move more" - as much as I would like it to be.

However, where body positivity comes into it for me is having the self awareness to know I need to look after myself better but not being too hard on myself and still taking pride in what I look like no matter my current state. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself, be it at 6 stone or 36 stone. Why should you have to wait until you're "perfect" to finally feel good about yourself? That's not a life...

TL;DR - you're allowed to be too fat or too skinny and still be happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

And why exactly OP do you believe we have the right to judge anyone else’s life choices? Maybe just live and let live?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is going to be one of those body shaming threads dressed up as something else. "

I definitely get that feeling lol

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

Interesting when someone starts a controversial thread then doesn’t comment on any of the responses.

Also it’s a common theme for them.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol"

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

If I could I'd send you a pic of my lifting skills. Lol

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

If I could I'd send you a pic of my lifting skills. Lol"

Im trying to put on weight, maybe we should exchange notes?! Im soo used to living on 1600 calories, i find it hard to remember to eat more!

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

I'm a fat fucker, last time I looked it wasn't hurting anyone. In fact without me Häagen daaz would go out of business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ whenever there is a post about fatness, it is almost always this OP!

You’re obsessed. I’ve seen you make this or similar posts three times now. Do you get a feeling of superiority by posting about fat people?

Get a life and let others live their’s.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's kinder to mind your own business and help people be happy in themselves, to give them the resilience to be able to make healthy changes, if they choose to.

Shaming is obesogenic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about, just mind your own business?! Me being fat is bugger all to do with anyone but me, thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's kinder to mind your own business and help people be happy in themselves, to give them the resilience to be able to make healthy changes, if they choose to.

Shaming is obesogenic."

Agree entirely

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

There's a whole world of difference between encouraging healthy eating and making someone feel bad about themselves.

My sister was bulimic for years after someone made "helpful" comments about her size as a teenager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I was that interested in other people. I couldn't actually care less!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"It's kinder to mind your own business and help people be happy in themselves, to give them the resilience to be able to make healthy changes, if they choose to.

Shaming is obesogenic."

Totally agree

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

That guy turn's me on

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

That guy turn's me on

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I have quite an emotional relationship with food I eat when I’m happy, sad, stressed it doesn’t matter but it has become a cycle of me overeating feeling bad about myself thinking “what’s the point I’m fat anyway” overeating again. Until November last year when I decided for myself (nobody kindly pointing out how fat I was) to try and break the cycle. I contacted a PT who made me a training programme and a nutrition plan, 4 months on I’m almost 2 stone down and have lost over 10 inches from waist, hips and thighs. I still have a way to go but I’m doing it because I want to not because someone thinks I should

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

That guy turn's me on

OK. I'll do it. Lol

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

Body positivity is for everyone one of every size. It's about encouraging people to love the body they are in. It's not only about their weight, it encompasses everything from scars, stretch marks, skin tone and colour. Your post just demonstrates a lack of understanding about the movement.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

If I could I'd send you a pic of my lifting skills. Lol

Im trying to put on weight, maybe we should exchange notes?! Im soo used to living on 1600 calories, i find it hard to remember to eat more! "

I dont count calories.

But I start with a bacon butty every day. Lol

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

What a person's size and shape has to do with anyone else is beyond me.

If youre not buying their food, buying their clothes, or going to be facesat by someone 25st then what's it got to do with anyone else but them?

You don't know their situation yet people think it's ok to comment?

Oh you're too thin need to eat more... oh you're too fat eat less... why can't people keep their thoughts to themself.

Nothing justifies anyone's comments on a person's physical form can't say something nice then stfu.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

If I could I'd send you a pic of my lifting skills. Lol

Im trying to put on weight, maybe we should exchange notes?! Im soo used to living on 1600 calories, i find it hard to remember to eat more!

I dont count calories.

But I start with a bacon butty every day. Lol"

Ah, i used to start with a banana at 7 then porridge at 9.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I've been told I'm fat plenty of times.

My normal reaction is - no shit sherlock.

You're not fat, you just have fat.

Thank you Clem, but I know I'm 9 stone overweight - according to the NHS. Lol

Start power lifting and turn yourself into Eddie Hall!!

That guy turn's me on

OK. I'll do it. Lol

I love it when a plan comes together!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

My secret is bacon, bacon and....... (you guessed it) chocolate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

Not everybody is overweight through unhealthy habits, some people have medical conditions

I am overweight, I practise yoga, go swimming and eat relatively healthy. I also work in an active job.

I am who I am

I do not eat unhealthy foods

I also have a heart condition and angina, neither of which were caused by living an unhealthy life.

So I wouldn't pass too much judgement if I were you

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"My secret is bacon, bacon and....... (you guessed it) chocolate "

That would make a great T-shirt! "The secret is... BACON!"

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"My secret is bacon, bacon and....... (you guessed it) chocolate

That would make a great T-shirt! "The secret is... BACON!"

Only available in XXL and above. Lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

Why do you feel the need to comment on our weight either way?

No one wants to change the world, they just want people not to be disrespectful twats. We are normal people, we know we are fat but we are also people.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

That’s weird I was looking up the definition of “shit show” and this thread was linked....

Be beautiful people

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"That’s weird I was looking up the definition of “shit show” and this thread was linked....

Be beautiful people"

The way I see it - I'm that beautiful my body has to be bigger to fit it all in.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"That’s weird I was looking up the definition of “shit show” and this thread was linked....

Be beautiful people

The way I see it - I'm that beautiful my body has to be bigger to fit it all in.

Hence why I am so skinny..... ugly is only acceptable in small doses

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"That’s weird I was looking up the definition of “shit show” and this thread was linked....

Be beautiful people

The way I see it - I'm that beautiful my body has to be bigger to fit it all in.

Hence why I am so skinny..... ugly is only acceptable in small doses

It does not mean to say your heart isn't big.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

And is it healthy to have an echo chamber full of "fat positive" people, patting each other on the backs, insisting the rest of the world should change and see being obese as normal and/or desirable?

Why do you feel the need to comment on our weight either way?

No one wants to change the world, they just want people not to be disrespectful twats. We are normal people, we know we are fat but we are also people. "

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"That’s weird I was looking up the definition of “shit show” and this thread was linked....

Be beautiful people

The way I see it - I'm that beautiful my body has to be bigger to fit it all in.

Hence why I am so skinny..... ugly is only acceptable in small doses

It does not mean to say your heart isn't big. "

Shrivelled up like a pickled walnut Mr CG. But the path to happiness starts with acceptance

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

Which is kinder? To tell a bully that they’re “perfect the way they are” or to encourage them to be nicer through compassion and empathy?

And is it healthy to have an echo chamber full of “obnoxious positive” people, patting each other on the back, insisting the rest of the world should change and see being a twat as normal and / or desirable?

Personally I’d never tell someone else what I thought of them, uninvited. I don’t think it ever helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id never ever tell someone they are over weight, we all got inner battles going on as it is. Someone told me I was putting on weight at 17 years old. I was actually tiny. That comment has plagued me the rest of my life.

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By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Fat is fab!

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By *inky SpiceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Does anyone really think overweight people either don't realise they are overweight or that adopting terms like BBW makes it ok in their minds? Losing weight is so fucking hard, and keeping it off is harder. Don't judge people who struggle to do it or even those that don't try!

I recently lost a lot of weight and I will help anyone I can to do the same, but I would never approach anyone about it, nor judge them for not doing it because I know how hard it is.

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By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

A person's body shape and size will always be judged and commented on by those who are insecure themselves.

Why else is it any of their business?

As someone who could do with a stone or two off, and as a recovered anorexic, I've had my fair share of abuse on here for being fat. Unfortunately for them, I think big curves and ripples look and feel fantastic and their comments would never change that.

They're just ugly on the inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to love the fact the OP started this then hasn't said a word.

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

What is size or shape. We are, all unique in our own right.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"Got to love the fact the OP started this then hasn't said a word.

They do it all the time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t go up to anyone and tell them anything about their weight unless they asked for my opinion.

Not including my mother, my sister and I have been on to our mother lately cos she’s put on quite a bit of timber the last 2 years, think it’s the menopause.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How fat I am has nothing to do with anyone else unless I am planning on sitting on their face it's none of their business.

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By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"How fat I am has nothing to do with anyone else unless I am planning on sitting on their face it's none of their business."

Magic 2 words - face & sit

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

I have been 20stone and I have been 11stone. My weight is only someone elses problem if I'm sat on their face. OP obviously has a problem with people on the larger side for what ever reason. So don't meet us, simples.

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By *iss KissWoman
over a year ago

near Coventry

I wouldn't tell them anything to do with how their body looks. Unless they specifically ask. Its none of your concern

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Random stranger of the internet feeling the need to tell me im fat? They can fuck right off that way, its not like i never noticed.

Best friend trying to support and encourage? Whole different story.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I have been both overweight and underweight as well as within normal range like I am now. I can honestly say that what other people said positively about my body at any weight has never really made a great deal of difference to how I felt about it but body shaming stung just as much at either end of the spectrum.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

According to my doctor I am morbidly obese. At one time I would agree with him. Now I know I carry extra weight and will never be slim but I enjoy my food too much. I'm wobbly but not ridiculously overweight like he says I am. Its took a while but I'm accepting my shape now x

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By *iwie!Woman
over a year ago

Liverpool

The thing is someone doesn't have to be "healthy" to be treated with basic respect. It's literally none of your business

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Be honest. You can do so without being a prick either way about it. But only if they ask your opinion.

If they have not brought their body size/shape/appearance up then keep what you feel to yourself.

I don't think anybody should be a "yes man" just to please people but at the same time you don't have to throw your opinion in other people's faces just because you disagree either.

Everything is about balance and openness to discuss in a civilized way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does any of this really matter if we all had the body beautiful then it would be down to personality how many people would be perfect then???

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

Think fat people will suddenly transform their shape when they’re shamed, warned, bullied, or caringly reminded about it?

The scariest thing obesity causes is obesity. Nobody wants to live their life being fat. It's associated with laziness, greed, and failure; horrible traits that nobody would dare level at super skinny eating disorders. Because that’s what obesity is, a disorder.

I’ve been 18 stone. My sisters are all so obese that one can't even leave her house, so it's a sore subject.

Slender people shaming fat ones under the guise of concern boil my piss, frankly. Start threads about protein shakes and squats rather than making a demographic who already feel awful about themselves feel worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The person who set this off,posted it then pissed off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think fat people will suddenly transform their shape when they’re shamed, warned, bullied, or caringly reminded about it?

I’ve been 18 stone. My sisters are all so obese that one can't even leave her house, so it's a sore subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think unless asked for an opinion you should probably mind your business. How someone else looks is of no business to anyone but themselves

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

This isn't the first time I have seen these type of comments from the OP. It must be good to be as perfect as they are (or they think they are)

No need to be offensive to anyone just because you maybe don't agree with how they look or choose to live their lives. Yet again the forums are proving to be a very good filter aid for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't the first time I have seen these type of comments from the OP. It must be good to be as perfect as they are (or they think they are)

No need to be offensive to anyone just because you maybe don't agree with how they look or choose to live their lives. Yet again the forums are proving to be a very good filter aid for us."

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Maybe just mind your own business and keep your opinions on other people's bodies to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health # be kind comes to mind.

Those over or under weight do know.. but would be kinder to ask everyone how they truely are and listen.

Im body happy.. but with cptsd the physical appearance does not cover mental health.

#be kind

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I think unless asked for an opinion you should probably mind your business. How someone else looks is of no business to anyone but themselves "

This 100%

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"This isn't the first time I have seen these type of comments from the OP. It must be good to be as perfect as they are (or they think they are)

No need to be offensive to anyone just because you maybe don't agree with how they look or choose to live their lives. Yet again the forums are proving to be a very good filter aid for us.

Are they in good shape themselves? They’ve blocked me, probably can’t deal with how amazing I am

Likewise with us too

Might be an admin thing, I’ve never had any interaction with them. Can’t see you pair being offensive either that’s not your area of expertise, that’s usually mine!

They often start threads like this then do one.

Not my cup of tea.

Yes, it is tiresome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is kinder? To tell overweight people they are "perfect the way they are" or to encourage them to lose weight through diet and exercise?

Being overweight or obese accounts for over 50% of adult population - making it pretty normal sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People don't care about others mental health I'm 40 and still get called names and yes it does hurt I shrug it off but ultimatley it chips away another piece of the little confidence that I have there will always be body shamers and yes they normally are slim fit or gym freaks

God if we all looked the same wouldn't life be boring I for one love different body shapes

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