FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Can someone please come round and ....

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my god...you have a poo knife?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh my god...you have a poo knife?!"

I do now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need eco one drain unblocked. I get mine online. Always keep it handy as I have a kid with ibs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clean the dog poo off my lawn so I can cut it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 12/03/20 12:29:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could do with a massage and once one has had this I will repay in anyway she likes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

Would 3 out of 4 help sparkles?

Not actually sure wtf a butler does!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you "

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

Would 3 out of 4 help sparkles?

Not actually sure wtf a butler does!"

Yep that will do, to be fair I just want someone to do the housework, washing and packing that I can't be arsed to do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me! "

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Bring the 90s back!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please"

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle "

Pork please. No pigs in blankets for me though and yes to cauliflower cheese

Carrot cake please and thank you xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bugger, now I'm really hungry!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erdyWoman
over a year ago

wiltshire


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging "

get him to sort it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

I’ve got a sausage casserole in the slow cooker, massage oils at the ready, and apparently I give good cuddles…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle

Pork please. No pigs in blankets for me though and yes to cauliflower cheese

Carrot cake please and thank you xx"

your more than welcome I love cooking anyway I'll even do your washing and ironing if the cuddle has a happy ending lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it"

Thanks for the kind offer - I made a plunger out of a bottle and some vigourous plunging has cleared it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Now that's done.....I would.love a massage lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it"

Bloody hell, are you ever in the wrong place!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I'd quite like one of those decluttering experts to come round and get rid of all my unnecessary junk!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!) "

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner? "

I am usually the staff!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could do with a time traveller who can give me tomorrows winning euro millions numbers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a cuddle and a chat from a woman would be nice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner?

I am usually the staff! "

Not tonight.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hedevilKTWoman
over a year ago

milton keynes


"I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing. "

If just snuggle come join me and dog under fluffy blanket on sofa

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing.

If just snuggle come join me and dog under fluffy blanket on sofa"

Perfect! I'll bring chocolate x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely "

I'm not sure what glutes are but I'm hoping its breasts?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bring the 90s back! "

I'm with you on that!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely

I'm not sure what glutes are but I'm hoping its breasts? "

I think they must be breasts....and you've got start somewhere

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging "

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

"

It's fixed - you'll have to wait for the next one lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

It's fixed - you'll have to wait for the next one lol "

I am sure if you feed your child some junk food the next big bosh will arrive soon . Lol ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top