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Can someone please come round and ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my god...you have a poo knife?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh my god...you have a poo knife?!"

I do now

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need eco one drain unblocked. I get mine online. Always keep it handy as I have a kid with ibs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clean the dog poo off my lawn so I can cut it

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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 12/03/20 12:29:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could do with a massage and once one has had this I will repay in anyway she likes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

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By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

Would 3 out of 4 help sparkles?

Not actually sure wtf a butler does!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you "

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

Would 3 out of 4 help sparkles?

Not actually sure wtf a butler does!"

Yep that will do, to be fair I just want someone to do the housework, washing and packing that I can't be arsed to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me! "

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it

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By *nlyIfItsWorthItMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Bring the 90s back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please"

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle "

Pork please. No pigs in blankets for me though and yes to cauliflower cheese

Carrot cake please and thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bugger, now I'm really hungry!

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By *erdyWoman
over a year ago

wiltshire


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging "
get him to sort it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that? "

I’ve got a sausage casserole in the slow cooker, massage oils at the ready, and apparently I give good cuddles…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a massage, a cook, a Butler and a cuddle. If anyone can help with that?

I'll be around shortly I'll give you a rub down coom you a nice dinner then snuggle. What would you like me to cook you

A big roast dinner with all the trimmings and cake please

What meat would you like and would you like cheese sauce with the cauliflower I'll even do pigs in blankets and I make a realy good carrot cake or lemon drizzle

Pork please. No pigs in blankets for me though and yes to cauliflower cheese

Carrot cake please and thank you xx"
your more than welcome I love cooking anyway I'll even do your washing and ironing if the cuddle has a happy ending lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it"

Thanks for the kind offer - I made a plunger out of a bottle and some vigourous plunging has cleared it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Now that's done.....I would.love a massage lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll massage anyone if they will sort this out for me!

Ah gimme some gloves, I'll do it. You can clean my house though. Shit doesn't bother me unless someone is spouting it"

Bloody hell, are you ever in the wrong place!

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I'd quite like one of those decluttering experts to come round and get rid of all my unnecessary junk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!) "

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner? "

I am usually the staff!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could do with a time traveller who can give me tomorrows winning euro millions numbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a cuddle and a chat from a woman would be nice

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Sort my shower out, if it's cold its powerful, on hot its scalding and pathetic.

Do my ironing.

Put up a shelf in the kitchen.

Clean my car inside and out.

Finish painting the kitchen (started last summer)

Finish painting the garden fences (started last spring!)

How about I get the staff to do those jobs and we'll go out for dinner?

I am usually the staff! "

Not tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing.

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By *hedevilKTWoman
over a year ago

milton keynes


"I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing. "

If just snuggle come join me and dog under fluffy blanket on sofa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd just like a snuggle buddy please. I'm bloody freezing.

If just snuggle come join me and dog under fluffy blanket on sofa"

Perfect! I'll bring chocolate x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely "

I'm not sure what glutes are but I'm hoping its breasts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bring the 90s back! "

I'm with you on that!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd like someone to come over and massage my overworked glutes and quads. I would hope that it leads on to something else, but that's unlikely

I'm not sure what glutes are but I'm hoping its breasts? "

I think they must be breasts....and you've got start somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging "

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

"

It's fixed - you'll have to wait for the next one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you need someone to come round and do for you?

I need someone to come round and unblock the toilet. My son has blocked it with a massive turd....

I can see about six inches of it sticking out from the u bend. I've tried chopping it up but can't as I keep gagging

I’ll come round, but only if I can check your plumbing too

It's fixed - you'll have to wait for the next one lol "

I am sure if you feed your child some junk food the next big bosh will arrive soon . Lol ??

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