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Should I perform a full on Corona panic? Help Auntie please!  | |||
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"I need a new job soon. What job should I do?" Karma lab technician  | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, I’m presently sitting in a pub and there’s a bloke wiping his nose near me(!!!)
Should I perform a full on Corona panic? Help Auntie please! "Don't be a spanner, have you not read the symptoms checker? Runny nose and sneezles isn't on the list. Now, go shower in his snot pellets | |||
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"I need a smoking blow job. Smoking is so frowned upon now will it happen " Take up a 30 a day habit, remove a rib or 2 and do it yourself you lazy beast | |||
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"I feel like my knee is about to fall off and I appear to have arthritis in it could you help please? " Get arthritis in your other knee so it doesn't feel lonely or guilty. It needs a partner in crime | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, while downing some drinking yoghurt I spilled some and when I walk back into the office it’s going to look like I’ve jizzed over myself. What do I do?" Get one of the birds to leave a lipstick mark on your collar, and go whole hog man slut. You'll be the envy of the office. Just like David Brent | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, I’m presently sitting in a pub and there’s a bloke wiping his nose near me(!!!)
Should I perform a full on Corona panic? Help Auntie please!
Don't be a spanner, have you not read the symptoms checker? Runny nose and sneezles isn't on the list. Now, go shower in his snot pellets "Phew! Thank you Auntie P; I had turtles head there for a moment.... Thanks to your sage advice, I have subsequently licked the chaps left nostril with no fear. His snot was salty tasting but not altogether unpleasant- a bit like oysters (in texture to funnily enough....)   | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, There's someone I deal with regularly who I have to be nice to. Not just civil, nice. They're so horrible to me that I wish they'd suffocate on their own faecal matter. Please advise." Take them on a picnic. In a field. With raging bulls. Oh, the "you" that's sat there waiting for them is simply a scarecrow. You can film the cow patty scream fest from the sidelines and make a few quid at their expense on you've been framed. Or as I like to call it at times.... "justice being served ya fucking cunt" | |||
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"Hi Auntie P, I need advice on how to get rid of people who overstay their welcome. I mean, I still want to be friends but sometimes I just want them to fuck off too, what can I do? " Tell them you've done their dinner, then fling a raw steak at the dog kennel... that should get the message across. | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, There's someone I deal with regularly who I have to be nice to. Not just civil, nice. They're so horrible to me that I wish they'd suffocate on their own faecal matter. Please advise. Take them on a picnic. In a field. With raging bulls. Oh, the "you" that's sat there waiting for them is simply a scarecrow. You can film the cow patty scream fest from the sidelines and make a few quid at their expense on you've been framed. Or as I like to call it at times.... "justice being served ya fucking cunt""  | |||
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"By saying I'm renouncing my sister, is she now renounced and I am an only child? Where can I find a proper older sister? 2 for 1.... panic whinging... "Yep, she's officially orphan Annie There are plenty of older sisters in nunneries and them kinds of places. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms. | |||
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I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx | |||
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"Auntie p How to I get taller. Heels are killing my feet can't do that anymore. "Fuck getting taller, you chop peoples legs off at the knee to bring them down to earth. Then every shop in every land will have to provide wheelie ladders and shopping will be a rollercoaster ride and such fun. Insurance provided by the shops of course. | |||
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"Afternoon Auntie P.
I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx "Hazmat suit. Might be on lockdown by then anyway so every chance you'll only need a dressing gown as you won't be leaving your hotel room | |||
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"Auntie p How to I get taller. Heels are killing my feet can't do that anymore.
Fuck getting taller, you chop peoples legs off at the knee to bring them down to earth.
Then every shop in every land will have to provide wheelie ladders and shopping will be a rollercoaster ride and such fun.
Insurance provided by the shops of course."Thank you auntie p just getting out the chainsaw. So if anyone see little woman with chainsaw you it's me | |||
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"Auntie p How to I get taller. Heels are killing my feet can't do that anymore.
Fuck getting taller, you chop peoples legs off at the knee to bring them down to earth.
Then every shop in every land will have to provide wheelie ladders and shopping will be a rollercoaster ride and such fun.
Insurance provided by the shops of course.
Thank you auntie p just getting out the chainsaw. So if anyone see little woman with chainsaw you it's me "Excellent, I'm a smidge of a human anyway so my legs will remain firmly in tact | |||
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"I recently had sex with a very attractive woman. I don't want any advice, I just want people to know" You should start a thread like | |||
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"Afternoon Auntie P.
I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx
Hazmat suit. Might be on lockdown by then anyway so every chance you'll only need a dressing gown as you won't be leaving your hotel room "I f*cking hope not.
Jo.Xx | |||
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"Dear Marjorie Proops...oops wrong site! Lol "Well you can take your major poops to the nearest bog ya filth bag. Don't be soiling my thread with shite. Pfffft, what do you think this is? | |||
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"I recently had sex with a very attractive woman. I don't want any advice, I just want people to know" Fuck me, the kidney patient AGAIN? | |||
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"I'm not short but have to shop in the petite section for trousers. My body is defective. Who do I speak to about a refund?" It's a hit you have to take unfortunately, with it being your lower half trouser area I'm afraid it's in your jeans | |||
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"I'm not short but have to shop in the petite section for trousers. My body is defective. Who do I speak to about a refund? It's a hit you have to take unfortunately, with it being your lower half trouser area I'm afraid it's in your jeans " | |||
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"I recently had sex with a very attractive woman. I don't want any advice, I just want people to know Fuck me, the kidney patient AGAIN? " No, shes 'tasty coma wife' now. His kidney operation did not go well! | |||
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"Afternoon Auntie P.
I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx
Hazmat suit. Might be on lockdown by then anyway so every chance you'll only need a dressing gown as you won't be leaving your hotel room
I f*cking hope not.
Jo.Xx "Me too, I'm preparing for it tho. If work remains quiet I won't be able to afford to go coz I won't be making enough fundage. May have to have a pre pre social lunch at my house instead | |||
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"I recently had sex with a very attractive woman. I don't want any advice, I just want people to know Fuck me, the kidney patient AGAIN? No, shes 'tasty coma wife' now. His kidney operation did not go well!" Fabulous. Hi kids..... I'm your new daddy | |||
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"Why does no one like me?" Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat | |||
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"Why does no one like me?" Hey I like you, your rather funny when you want to be.
Jo.Xx | |||
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"Afternoon Auntie P.
I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx
Hazmat suit. Might be on lockdown by then anyway so every chance you'll only need a dressing gown as you won't be leaving your hotel room
I f*cking hope not.
Jo.Xx
Me too, I'm preparing for it tho. If work remains quiet I won't be able to afford to go coz I won't be making enough fundage.
May have to have a pre pre social lunch at my house instead "Nooo, we're not travelling all that way and not getting to meet you.  (jokes I know it's not far)
Seriously though, we will have to sort something out.
Jo.Xx | |||
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"Afternoon Auntie P.
I've just realised that the Birmingham social is next weekend and I have nothing to wear. Please can you advise me of what's best to pack for the weekend.
Jo.Xx
Hazmat suit. Might be on lockdown by then anyway so every chance you'll only need a dressing gown as you won't be leaving your hotel room
I f*cking hope not.
Jo.Xx
Me too, I'm preparing for it tho. If work remains quiet I won't be able to afford to go coz I won't be making enough fundage.
May have to have a pre pre social lunch at my house instead
Nooo, we're not travelling all that way and not getting to meet you. (jokes I know it's not far)
Seriously though, we will have to sort something out.
Jo.Xx "Defo. Might need to start selling loo roll on the side to make ends meet. The scented stuff can go fuck itself tho, gives me dry vag. | |||
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"Dear Auntie P Today I have been spoiled with steak and french martinis. I am, however, now quite tiddly and am worried I'll a) fall asleep in the cinema this evening or b) send cringey messages aplenty. How do I sober up and be the refined, coy creature of my usual waking hours? " As if I'm gonna tell you the answer! Afternoon nap beaut. Shit, I caved. | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat " It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent. | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Hey I like you, your rather funny when you want to be.
Jo.Xx "News to me on both counts  | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent."Tongue in cheek you say? In that case, the real reason is we all know that you're a bigger pervo than the creepy dude off The Big Bang Theory, except he has better dress sense than you. Add to that that you live in a shed on the edge of what was the West residence on Cromwell Street, it's too much for even Jack the Rippers brain to compute | |||
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"Dear Auntie P “Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” Can you advise on a good game as I am sick of using my hand? " Elefun, get yer trunk out and give it some action | |||
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"Auntie P, I'm grouchy and people keep pissing me off. Can I slap them all please? " Yes, as long as you do it with a shovel and REALLY give it some welly | |||
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"Auntie P, I'm grouchy and people keep pissing me off. Can I slap them all please? Yes, as long as you do it with a shovel and REALLY give it some welly " Perfect! Thank you | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent.
Tongue in cheek you say?
In that case, the real reason is we all know that you're a bigger pervo than the creepy dude off The Big Bang Theory, except he has better dress sense than you. Add to that that you live in a shed on the edge of what was the West residence on Cromwell Street, it's too much for even Jack the Rippers brain to compute "And there was me trying to be grateful... | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent.
Tongue in cheek you say?
In that case, the real reason is we all know that you're a bigger pervo than the creepy dude off The Big Bang Theory, except he has better dress sense than you. Add to that that you live in a shed on the edge of what was the West residence on Cromwell Street, it's too much for even Jack the Rippers brain to compute
And there was me trying to be grateful..."I know you were, and I also appreciated I jumped to the conclusion you were having a down day and although I responded from the heart, I didn't respond in the same way I did the others on the thread, and that was wrong of me. So I rectified that. 2 for the price of 1. | |||
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"Seeing as there's lots of glum bum threads I'm going to add another. What's cooking in your bunny boiler? Do you need some WD40 to grind your gears? As per, any advice taken is done so at your own risk and no responsibility will be taken by Auntie P for your own stupidity. Own your own plankness.... ya plank " Should I thread or wax? And also, will I ever find spare car key? | |||
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"Seeing as there's lots of glum bum threads I'm going to add another. What's cooking in your bunny boiler? Do you need some WD40 to grind your gears? As per, any advice taken is done so at your own risk and no responsibility will be taken by Auntie P for your own stupidity. Own your own plankness.... ya plank Should I thread or wax? And also, will I ever find spare car key?" You should thrax. Course you'll find it..... The day after you scrap the car or get a new key cut. | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent.
Tongue in cheek you say?
In that case, the real reason is we all know that you're a bigger pervo than the creepy dude off The Big Bang Theory, except he has better dress sense than you. Add to that that you live in a shed on the edge of what was the West residence on Cromwell Street, it's too much for even Jack the Rippers brain to compute
And there was me trying to be grateful...
I know you were, and I also appreciated I jumped to the conclusion you were having a down day and although I responded from the heart, I didn't respond in the same way I did the others on the thread, and that was wrong of me.
So I rectified that. 2 for the price of 1.
"Your response was nothing but the truth, and I was having a down day. Your reply caught me by surprise because of how out of kilter it was with the rest of the thread, but it was greaty appreciated. | |||
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Can I eat my Lindt Bunny now?? Since I don’t need to squeeze in it!!
Loss a love muma prickley c**t xx | |||
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"Why does no one like me? Because you don't allow them to. You don't like yourself very much and it shows. People ARE fond of you though, I think they simply worry how their communication with you could cause more harm than good at times, and fear talking to you for that reason. I think if you were more social you may meet some people who you get along with, though I can understand being hesitant to do so given your past experience. Get a cat It was supposed to be a tongue in cheek question... I nearly went with "where do babies come from", but it seemed a little crass.
Since you clearly put some thought into your answer, though, thank you - I'm almost able to force myself to believe it. I just some of these "people" were a little less reticent.
Tongue in cheek you say?
In that case, the real reason is we all know that you're a bigger pervo than the creepy dude off The Big Bang Theory, except he has better dress sense than you. Add to that that you live in a shed on the edge of what was the West residence on Cromwell Street, it's too much for even Jack the Rippers brain to compute
And there was me trying to be grateful...
I know you were, and I also appreciated I jumped to the conclusion you were having a down day and although I responded from the heart, I didn't respond in the same way I did the others on the thread, and that was wrong of me.
So I rectified that. 2 for the price of 1.
Your response was nothing but the truth, and I was having a down day. Your reply caught me by surprise because of how out of kilter it was with the rest of the thread, but it was greaty appreciated. "Xx | |||
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"Dear Auntie P, I am a very healthy eater but i've just downed a bar of chocolate, a pack of jaffa cakes and some breakaways in a sickening sugary binge...... Will my shit be sweeter ?" Hmmm? Chuck it out the window and see what animal runs off with it first. If it's an army of ants hoisting it up onto their shoulders and carting it off like the crown jewels of insect land then you can guarantee that bog log is a sugary sensation of shit | |||
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"Dear Aunty P I bought a new dress for a fancy party that cost me £160!! Now the party has been cancelled
Can I eat my Lindt Bunny now?? Since I don’t need to squeeze in it!!
Loss a love muma prickley c**t xx "You send that fucking dress back, get a refund and purchase £160 worth of chocolate bunnies. I heard on the grapevine G-Crumps has a shit load of chocolate for sale | |||
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Nora x
Ps anyone fancy a meet? | |||
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"Dear Auntie P I’ve got the worst cough ever, my head is banging and I ache all over. Nobody seems to give a shit coz I’ve not been out of the country for the past 2 weeks.
Nora x
Ps anyone fancy a meet? "Psssst they don't give a shit coz they don't care, got fuck all to do with leaving our shores. Bunch of cunts. Anywhoooo, I'll send you a bunch of grapes, an old porn magazine and some glucose tablets. Chuck all of them in the bath with you to make a fruity floaty spa of zen. You'll feel better in the same amount of time it would take anyway. | |||
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"Dear Auntie P I’ve got the worst cough ever, my head is banging and I ache all over. Nobody seems to give a shit coz I’ve not been out of the country for the past 2 weeks.
Nora x
Ps anyone fancy a meet?
Psssst they don't give a shit coz they don't care, got fuck all to do with leaving our shores. Bunch of cunts.
Anywhoooo, I'll send you a bunch of grapes, an old porn magazine and some glucose tablets. Chuck all of them in the bath with you to make a fruity floaty spa of zen. You'll feel better in the same amount of time it would take anyway. ". Thank you so much.
Ps. I did wash my hands to the tune of happy birthday before I wrote this message so you’re safe x | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? " You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies | |||
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"Dear Auntie P I’ve got the worst cough ever, my head is banging and I ache all over. Nobody seems to give a shit coz I’ve not been out of the country for the past 2 weeks.
Nora x
Ps anyone fancy a meet?
Psssst they don't give a shit coz they don't care, got fuck all to do with leaving our shores. Bunch of cunts.
Anywhoooo, I'll send you a bunch of grapes, an old porn magazine and some glucose tablets. Chuck all of them in the bath with you to make a fruity floaty spa of zen. You'll feel better in the same amount of time it would take anyway.
. Thank you so much.
Ps. I did wash my hands to the tune of happy birthday before I wrote this message so you’re safe x "Banging! I've got a box of 8 donuts, 4 Cinnamon buns and a festive slice from Gregg's. My day just upped it's game | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies " Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ?" You've never seen Noonoo have you? | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you?" Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell " Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. | |||
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"Seeing as there's lots of glum bum threads I'm going to add another. What's cooking in your bunny boiler? Do you need some WD40 to grind your gears? As per, any advice taken is done so at your own risk and no responsibility will be taken by Auntie P for your own stupidity. Own your own plankness.... ya plank Should I thread or wax? And also, will I ever find spare car key? You should thrax. Course you'll find it..... The day after you scrap the car or get a new key cut. " A very likely scenario.  | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. " Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny | |||
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"Seeing as there's lots of glum bum threads I'm going to add another. What's cooking in your bunny boiler? Do you need some WD40 to grind your gears? As per, any advice taken is done so at your own risk and no responsibility will be taken by Auntie P for your own stupidity. Own your own plankness.... ya plank " Dear auntie P. As a single guy How would I go about getting a meet on fab? | |||
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"Dear Aunty P I bought a new dress for a fancy party that cost me £160!! Now the party has been cancelled
Can I eat my Lindt Bunny now?? Since I don’t need to squeeze in it!!
Loss a love muma prickley c**t xx
You send that fucking dress back, get a refund and purchase £160 worth of chocolate bunnies.
I heard on the grapevine G-Crumps has a shit load of chocolate for sale "The dress is going back!! | |||
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"Seeing as there's lots of glum bum threads I'm going to add another. What's cooking in your bunny boiler? Do you need some WD40 to grind your gears? As per, any advice taken is done so at your own risk and no responsibility will be taken by Auntie P for your own stupidity. Own your own plankness.... ya plank Dear auntie P. As a single guy How would I go about getting a meet on fab?" Look in the mirror and ask yourself Mr 100 verification man. Pfffft. Fucking timewasters I got real problems to solve like sugary shit and Hoover pipe rectums. | |||
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"Just bought a new dress, it's so lush. Do I risk it and go out in it ?? Really don't want to get cum on it !! Your advice will be appreciated xx " You avin a bubble? You do not. No. You have gorgeous dresses and anyone who slimes them needs a smack up the noggin with a bible. | |||
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"Dear Aunty P I bought a new dress for a fancy party that cost me £160!! Now the party has been cancelled
Can I eat my Lindt Bunny now?? Since I don’t need to squeeze in it!!
Loss a love muma prickley c**t xx
You send that fucking dress back, get a refund and purchase £160 worth of chocolate bunnies.
I heard on the grapevine G-Crumps has a shit load of chocolate for sale
The dress is going back!!"What size is it? I'll have it off ya for a Cinnamon bun | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny"If we're talking Allo Allo... | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
"I Weel only say zeez once. | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once. "I just came. Done Dusted Result! | |||
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"Just bought a new dress, it's so lush. Do I risk it and go out in it ?? Really don't want to get cum on it !! Your advice will be appreciated xx You avin a bubble? You do not. No. You have gorgeous dresses and anyone who slimes them needs a smack up the noggin with a bible." Arrr, that's so sweet, I LOVE my pretty dresses (and you looked!!!), your advice has been taken xxx xxx | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result! "Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result! "You styewpid womahn! I can do this too.
B | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result!
Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving "You will go blind! | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result!
Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving
You will go blind! "And now you tell me your a Doctor.... | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result!
Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving
You will go blind!
And now you tell me your a Doctor...."You can just call me Seduced | |||
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"Just bought a new dress, it's so lush. Do I risk it and go out in it ?? Really don't want to get cum on it !! Your advice will be appreciated xx You avin a bubble? You do not. No. You have gorgeous dresses and anyone who slimes them needs a smack up the noggin with a bible. Arrr, that's so sweet, I LOVE my pretty dresses (and you looked!!!), your advice has been taken xxx xxx " Course I looked, I'm rather envious of your dress collection | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result!
Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving
You will go blind!
And now you tell me your a Doctor....
You can just call me Seduced "As in Dr _educed ? ...ah ok good the fire men are here. Once they stop laughing they are going to pull the pipe out... | |||
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"I'm sitting ag home with a hoover pipe jammed up my bum...I need to go to A&E but can't drive Shall I call an ambulance or the fire brigade. Do you think they will believe me that I was coming down stairs after a shower to answear the phone and tripped, fell on the hoover pipe by accident or will they think I'm a perv who likes sticking things up my arse...? You gotta crawl to A&E on your hands and knees I'm afraid and tell them you were replying to a casting call to be the next Noonoo in the new series of Tellytubbies Shall I mention the hoover pipe ? You've never seen Noonoo have you? Ok confession time. I only vaughly know who the Tellytubbies are ? I was a bad dad who spent more time at work or clubs/ casinos / horse racing/ dog track / titty bars / pubs/ shagging the girls from work/ shagging my secretary/ shagging clients/ shagging the girls from the titty bar....oh God...Auntie P am I going to hell Yes! See you there. Psst I am an imposter. Ok this is going to sound cheesy but if your there, I don't mind going...
Im really sorry I find mid 80s humour funny
If we're talking Allo Allo...
I Weel only say zeez once.
I just came.
Done Dusted Result!
Yes.. but I'm still waiting for the fire brigade and this pipe is bloody drafty...plus my Hampster keeps catching my eye and it's unnerving
You will go blind!
And now you tell me your a Doctor....
You can just call me Seduced
As in Dr _educed ? ...ah ok good the fire men are here. Once they stop laughing they are going to pull the pipe out... "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose... Pull that pipe! | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend" *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact " Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants?" Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt  that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks. | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks."Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop? No innuendo or euphemism intended  | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended "I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats 
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
| |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
"Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys | |||
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| |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys"That's my bubble fucking burst. | |||
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"Dear Auntie P I’m trying to study quantum physics but work keeps getting in the way and making me stop, can I quit "You're the master of your own destiny. Ask Mystic Meg. Which reminds me, I really need to fill in my circus act application | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys
That's my bubble fucking burst."But we could cross them with giant fruit bats ... flying monkeys for an aerial poop assault ... Fly my beauties.... fly | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys
That's my bubble fucking burst.
But we could cross them with giant fruit bats ... flying monkeys for an aerial poop assault ...
Fly my beauties.... fly"Oh hush now.... the pull is too....strong..... LET'S DO THIS | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys
That's my bubble fucking burst.
But we could cross them with giant fruit bats ... flying monkeys for an aerial poop assault ...
Fly my beauties.... fly
Oh hush now....
the pull is too....strong.....
LET'S DO THIS "It has legs ... and wings in fact And Red wine Winner | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys
That's my bubble fucking burst.
But we could cross them with giant fruit bats ... flying monkeys for an aerial poop assault ...
Fly my beauties.... fly
Oh hush now....
the pull is too....strong.....
LET'S DO THIS
It has legs ... and wings in fact
And Red wine
Winner"Chicken fucking dinner https://youtu.be/zXt56MB-3vc Flying monkey aunt ready for duty! Just need to get their clothes made and embroidered. They're all gonna have their initials stitched into their cravats | |||
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"Auntie P How can I keep a troop of trained monkey som_eliers and not have to contribute into their pension pots? Asking for a friend *chortle* Well it goes a little something like this. You build them a lovely annexe, complete with gym and jacuzzi. Then..... you introduce them to their new Auntie who will love them so much and cuddle them and tickle them and snuggle them at night, pick the little insects off them and all of the other things monkey aunts do, that they'll forget all about their pension coz they're just so full of love. Bursting in fact Thanks Auntie P ... sounds good Next though, where can I find these monkey aunts ... And where can I keep my pheasants? Here here here here duck duck goose ME! Don't make me beg to me monkey aunt that's just cruel
The pheasants just sit round the pool with the peacocks.
Hmmm auntie p ... do ... do you want to aunt my troop?
No innuendo or euphemism intended
I thought you'd never ask! Yes, I want to look after the wine monkeys. I'll pop little hats on them, and trousers and little tiny cravats
I'll do such a good job. I'll even teach them who to fling poo at.
Ah... now I do the poop training ... it's a fine art ... the monkey cigars have to be softly rolled on the thighs of the female monkeys
That's my bubble fucking burst.
But we could cross them with giant fruit bats ... flying monkeys for an aerial poop assault ...
Fly my beauties.... fly
Oh hush now....
the pull is too....strong.....
LET'S DO THIS
It has legs ... and wings in fact
And Red wine
Winner
Chicken fucking dinner
https://youtu.be/zXt56MB-3vc
Flying monkey aunt ready for duty! Just need to get their clothes made and embroidered. They're all gonna have their initials stitched into their cravats "Respect Auntie P | |||
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