FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Down days

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We all have them.

My questions are, do you know what causes them, is there a trigger or do they just happen?

What do you do about it when they do?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have them and they're quite regular but no idea what the trigger is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes

[Removed by poster at 08/03/20 11:06:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes


"I find I have down days when dark mornings and nights and bad weather is upon us. I seem to lack Vitamin D. I've bought a SAD lamp and take supplement in winter months.

The other cause is food... I often find my mood controls my food and then when my mood gas lifted the food I've had then controls my mood.

At least I recognise these now and can do my best to remedy, rather than existing in a thick dark fug."

Has *

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My down days sadly are usually down to me feeling inadequate as a mum.

I know I’m not, but you can’t help but feel it sometimes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have PTSD so it can be a variety of triggers. I'm. Lucky enough that I can now identify this and use the coping strategies my therapist taught me during CBT (not the dirty kind)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Mine mostly have triggers. Some I can work through, some I can't. Self help takes a variety of forms, wallowing for awhile, building, pottering around the edges to improve symptoms.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have down days, not very often thankfully, no idea what triggers them I could be having a great day then then all of a sudden I want to cry and hide away or rip someone's head of, to move past it I give into it but only for an hour, haven't got time to wasting lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitten has down days weepy days when I feel so low but daddy is always there for me makes me smile his love makes me feel him around me every second he gave me my fluffies to snuggle up to and his shirts to wear

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *leasure4leisureMan
over a year ago

south


"We all have them.

My questions are, do you know what causes them, is there a trigger or do they just happen?

What do you do about it when they do?

"

Maybe a coffee with an older polite respectful guy Might help?! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickymac52Man
over a year ago

newry

My down days are triggered by loneliness, which is stupid because I have a partner. But still feel lonely even when sharing a bed. There is a lot to be said for basic human contact.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all have them.

My questions are, do you know what causes them, is there a trigger or do they just happen?

What do you do about it when they do?

"

you'd never have down days in my company

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

I can relate to the loneliness triggers. I think most of us are better people when we have someone we can share moments with.

Wow that was soppy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can relate to the loneliness triggers. I think most of us are better people when we have someone we can share moments with.

Wow that was soppy "

hope you're suitably embarassed oh soppy one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enn68Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Small things build up over time.

wkends can be when it strikes worse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get them often , sometimes I just go to bed and sleep it off , or if I have energy go for a run to clear my head

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire


"I can relate to the loneliness triggers. I think most of us are better people when we have someone we can share moments with.

Wow that was soppy hope you're suitably embarassed oh soppy one "

Meh. Better people see the real me as earliest as possible

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kitten has down days weepy days when I feel so low but daddy is always there for me makes me smile his love makes me feel him around me every second he gave me my fluffies to snuggle up to and his shirts to wear "

That's lovely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My down days are triggered by loneliness, which is stupid because I have a partner. But still feel lonely even when sharing a bed. There is a lot to be said for basic human contact."

I felt this for 5 years, refuse to again, and can I just mention a good friend cwtch does wonders

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have them, there’s a few triggers , loneliness, overtired, isolation, being overwhelmed dealing with 2 disabled young adults. I just try to be kind to myself in those days x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"My down days sadly are usually down to me feeling inadequate as a mum.

I know I’m not, but you can’t help but feel it sometimes "

Totally empathise with this. I focus on the things that I can't do as mum due to disability and it gets me down, especially because I was perfectly able with my son, and so I know what "normal" feels like.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Generally around my time of the month I find my hormones make me extra anxious and also prone to daft down periods. I try and be mindful of when they will be and make extra allowance for my moods and self care.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all have them.

My questions are, do you know what causes them, is there a trigger or do they just happen?

What do you do about it when they do?

"

My triggers are usually something trivial and minor but I escalate it until it becomes this big thing and I usually withdraw into myself.

Luckily they are getting fewer and farther between - I have a lot of coping strategies: exercise, go for a walk in the countryside with my dog, do something constructive so I feel as though I have achieved something.

I do remind myself that it is okay not to feel okay, it is okay to have down days and or is okay to have some quiet time.

I try not to put pressure on myself to be happy and jolly, I try not to judge myself for feeling down.

I also remember that down days do finish and the good days come back, I have survived worse and I have come back stronger. The old saying is true, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I would add that what doesn't kill you gives you some unhealthy coping mechanism and a very black sense of humour as well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes


"My down days are triggered by loneliness, which is stupid because I have a partner. But still feel lonely even when sharing a bed. There is a lot to be said for basic human contact."

I can relate to this x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on one today.

Yes, triggered.

Yes, I know the trigger.

And no, there's nowt I can do about it other than realise there's fuck all I can do about it and immerse myself in work and try to forget about it whilst I'm there.

Then, dancing on ice final on catch up when I get home.

P

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hubby has down days, but his trigger is understandable.. Chemo.. He usually takes himself off to bed for a few hours. My "job" if you will is judge when he's had enough and go take the piss and shame him into pulling himself back together. Sounds harsh, but it's something we agreed on early in his treatment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

It’s fair to say everyone has down days and some can pinpoint causes and others could just be to do with an imbalance emotionally. Those that have mental health Illness have severe downs that they can’t seem to see a way out from and will have them last for longer than others. Mental health treatment is such a slow long process as it can just be making slight improvements hour by hour... but... taking those small steps and put stuff in boxes in your mind helps... sorry for the long one but MH is a big issue

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hubby has down days, but his trigger is understandable.. Chemo.. He usually takes himself off to bed for a few hours. My "job" if you will is judge when he's had enough and go take the piss and shame him into pulling himself back together. Sounds harsh, but it's something we agreed on early in his treatment. "
Has he tried CBD oil? I remember my dad after his chemo. Made him tired and lost a lot of weight.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cbd oil was just a waste of money for him. Didn't do a thing. Hubby also lost a load of weight. About 4 stone. Oncologist wasn't happy when he turned up to an appointment wearing a deadpool t-shirt with "cancer putting the die in diet".. A sense of humour is a must with cancer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have down days every day. But that's because of what's happened to me over the past two year's. Had to leave my beautiful family. Homelessness, beat up, robbed, pricked with a used needle, arrested, my mum dying, rarely get t see my daughter. I don't go to CBT or any other counselling. I just try and deal with it myself. Not easy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you everyone.

Some really helpful comments. Someone said it's a combination of little things getting on top of me.

I've eaten some Nutella on toast and walked the dog (not at the same time)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mainly when I miss my kids if I see some children that remind me of mine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickymac52Man
over a year ago

newry


"Cbd oil was just a waste of money for him. Didn't do a thing. Hubby also lost a load of weight. About 4 stone. Oncologist wasn't happy when he turned up to an appointment wearing a deadpool t-shirt with "cancer putting the die in diet".. A sense of humour is a must with cancer "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Down days are very rare for me. Perhaps I live a relatively sheltered life or its the way I handle things and put them in context.

Always helpful to keep in mind that there are far worse things that can happen or that someone, somewhere is far worse off and would gladly swap with me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one yesterday and having another today. The only thing I can think that is causing it is my hormones which are a bit fucked up at the mo. Not feeling very talkative so just enjoying being alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Thank you everyone.

Some really helpful comments. Someone said it's a combination of little things getting on top of me.

I've eaten some Nutella on toast and walked the dog (not at the same time)"

Happy to hear from you or anyone if you need a shoulder or to talk through coping mechanisms x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone.

Some really helpful comments. Someone said it's a combination of little things getting on top of me.

I've eaten some Nutella on toast and walked the dog (not at the same time)

Happy to hear from you or anyone if you need a shoulder or to talk through coping mechanisms x"

Thank you lovely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have some very bleak down days and some hugely unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Sometimes I can pinpoint a trigger, other times it feels more nebulous.

I always know they will pass though, the same as the "up" shiny happy days pass. I recognise they will come again, and that's helped me accept that they are transitory.

When the dark days come I try to be kind and forgiving to myself. I have some self-soothing techniques that have proved somewhat useful, and I keep reminding myself that I've survived and I'm still here, still carrying on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Me mainly its loneliness and knowing i should be at a better place in my life then where i am with family of my own, home with them simple things really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I have some very bleak down days and some hugely unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Sometimes I can pinpoint a trigger, other times it feels more nebulous.

I always know they will pass though, the same as the "up" shiny happy days pass. I recognise they will come again, and that's helped me accept that they are transitory.

When the dark days come I try to be kind and forgiving to myself. I have some self-soothing techniques that have proved somewhat useful, and I keep reminding myself that I've survived and I'm still here, still carrying on."

I think unhealthy coping mechanisms have a place. Wallow, lick wounds for a bit. And sometimes everything goes to shit and you've got to do what you've got to do to survive.

But set some time for it and move through it. You've got this xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I don't tend to have down days, it's more of an overwhelming of people contact, when I crave alone time that will lower my mood until I am able to escape to the forest or the beach

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top