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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " I have, and occasionally still do, struggled with this. I really believe its a case of try not to over think it. | |||
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"Is this someone specific, or do you mean in general? If it is someone specific, have you asked them? I don't know about you but I like people of all shapes and sizes, what attracts me to someone is just something I can't explain. I imagine men are probably similar. " This really. We often judge ourselves much more harshly than others do. | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " I feel the same all the time, I just persevere and hope for the best. | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " His opinion of you is obviously higher than your own . | |||
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"Is this someone specific, or do you mean in general? If it is someone specific, have you asked them? I don't know about you but I like people of all shapes and sizes, what attracts me to someone is just something I can't explain. I imagine men are probably similar. This really. We often judge ourselves much more harshly than others do. " Very true.... Do believe in yourself.....!! | |||
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"Is this someone specific, or do you mean in general? If it is someone specific, have you asked them? I don't know about you but I like people of all shapes and sizes, what attracts me to someone is just something I can't explain. I imagine men are probably similar. " Absolute agree with this. I don’t fully know what it is that attracts me to someone. I think it is if they make me feel warm, welcoming and easygoing. Thats just a few. But as others have said there are varying likes and dislikes. I read a facebook post once, and although not a quote from Socrates or Aristotle, it was very relevant. It said “Do you talk to others the way you talk to yourself?” After reading this I would reflect when things are going wrong and I find I’d be saying in my head “what a fucking idiot. Another sloppy mistake. When are you going to start getting it right” etc. Even when I look in the mirror. Why is it notice the bits I dislike the most. But when I see someone on fab those same hips and thick thighs look lovely. I don’t have the answers but I think self-love is very important | |||
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" I read a facebook post once, and although not a quote from Socrates or Aristotle, it was very relevant. It said “Do you talk to others the way you talk to yourself?” " More than likely a Greek | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. " I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. " The same reason why there is more than one flavour of ice-cream | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. The same reason why there is more than one flavour of ice-cream" | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. " Some men don't want perfection, they are more realistic and like the flaws of our bodies! It takes time finding nice guys who can look past the scars etc but in the meantime be kind to yourself OP | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. The same reason why there is more than one flavour of ice-cream" Exactly. Blokes like variety. If there's a woman available willing to shag them, nine times out of ten they will, whatever she looks like. | |||
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"I've been swinging for over 10 years now, and seen it all. Honestly?? In the swing scene, most, not all guys will tell you anything they think you want to hear, to get into your knickers. Most, not all guys will straight out lie to you. It's really down to you and your intuition to them out. As long as you have confidence in yourself, and keep a clear perspective of what's 'real' and what's 'bulls**t' then you'll be fine. That and frequent breaks from it, will keep you sane lol." What do you want to hear | |||
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"I've been swinging for over 10 years now, and seen it all. Honestly?? In the swing scene, most, not all guys will tell you anything they think you want to hear, to get into your knickers. Most, not all guys will straight out lie to you. It's really down to you and your intuition to them out. As long as you have confidence in yourself, and keep a clear perspective of what's 'real' and what's 'bulls**t' then you'll be fine. That and frequent breaks from it, will keep you sane lol. What do you want to hear " The truth is always a good place to start. | |||
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"I've been swinging for over 10 years now, and seen it all. Honestly?? In the swing scene, most, not all guys will tell you anything they think you want to hear, to get into your knickers. Most, not all guys will straight out lie to you. It's really down to you and your intuition to them out. As long as you have confidence in yourself, and keep a clear perspective of what's 'real' and what's 'bulls**t' then you'll be fine. That and frequent breaks from it, will keep you sane lol. What do you want to hear The truth is always a good place to start. " Ahh fuck lol | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " we are all different shapes and sizes here also confidence levels come on all levels but theirs someone for everyone here, your pics show you to have a lovely figure just enjoy the attention, do socials to gauge personalities and enjoy your experience here if you don't enjoy it dont stay | |||
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"I've been swinging for over 10 years now, and seen it all. Honestly?? In the swing scene, most, not all guys will tell you anything they think you want to hear, to get into your knickers. Most, not all guys will straight out lie to you. It's really down to you and your intuition to them out. As long as you have confidence in yourself, and keep a clear perspective of what's 'real' and what's 'bulls**t' then you'll be fine. That and frequent breaks from it, will keep you sane lol. What do you want to hear The truth is always a good place to start. " Don’t see the point in lying or bullshiting | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " We are and always will be our worse critics what you see and feel in yourself others will see differently. I too know this feeling but if you keep putting yourself down your only going to start believing in your own words that your not good enough, they're out of your league etc etc when simply that is not true I have met guys who keep in shape who are genuinely down to earth and humble. We cant just judge on appearance only to understand how the mind works. Attraction is attraction and sometimes we just have to accept that someone we would think wouldnt take interest actually does hope this helps as I truly know how you feel | |||
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"The other thing to remember OP is you're basing a lot of what you think on your own perceptions, not necessarily reality. Self-perception for one, which is always a tough one to crack if you have a negative view of yourself. Perception that the type of women a guy has been with are somehow "better" when you don't actually know them, and may not even have seen pics of them, or know the first thing about them to actually *know* that is the case. So acceptance that people find you attractive "for you" is the first step in gaining that confidence, which is not easy when as you say there are those who will tell you that as a means of getting into your knickers - so you have to develop a BS detector to an extent, and develop ways of spotting the genuine compliments against the false ones - one way of doing that is by taking your time getting to know people before agreeing to meet." But surely, by definition, if a bloke is trying to get into a woman's knickers, he must find her attractive. I can see why you'd need to filter out the crap if you are looking for something long term, but if all you are worried about is whether a bloke finds you attractive, the mere fact he is trying to have sex with you shows that he does. | |||
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"Is this someone specific, or do you mean in general? If it is someone specific, have you asked them? I don't know about you but I like people of all shapes and sizes, what attracts me to someone is just something I can't explain. I imagine men are probably similar. Absolute agree with this. I don’t fully know what it is that attracts me to someone. I think it is if they make me feel warm, welcoming and easygoing. Thats just a few. But as others have said there are varying likes and dislikes. I read a facebook post once, and although not a quote from Socrates or Aristotle, it was very relevant. It said “Do you talk to others the way you talk to yourself?” After reading this I would reflect when things are going wrong and I find I’d be saying in my head “what a fucking idiot. Another sloppy mistake. When are you going to start getting it right” etc. Even when I look in the mirror. Why is it notice the bits I dislike the most. But when I see someone on fab those same hips and thick thighs look lovely. I don’t have the answers but I think self-love is very important " Nailed it mate. Start with self love. Then everything else would come into perspective. | |||
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"90% of blokes will cheerfully shag 90% of women because they fancy 90% of women. That's one of the things you often see women failing to understand about men. Just because a bloke has previously shagged some 25 year old size ten doesn't mean he won't also fancy a 45 year old size 16. Long story short, most men are not selective. I know this. I just don’t see why I would be selected if they can have perfection. " What do you think is perfection in your mind, might not be for others.. We all (Men & Women) have different tastes and opinions. Learning and accepting ourselves is the best vote of confidence we can attain. I know that my curves imperfections don't please most, but oohh well I'm so much more then a body Worry in trust n love yourself 1st and only then with the others.. xx | |||
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"I hear what you're saying OP but it's very much a case of the subjective nature of physical attraction. I find it difficult to believe that every man that exists would find you so unattractive. I feel this exists only in your own mind and besides, with such a brilliantly written profile text, surely looks would be secondary. " Might be time for my period. Probably why I’m feeling so sensitive. Idk. Thanks everyone. Appreciated. | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " There is nothing anyone can say that will help you as you don't think you're "worthy" so why would anyone else? I understand a bit as I had relationship issues, female friends included, as I had parents that did little to encourage or boost my confidence whilst highlighting my "flaws". It made me question why people would like me if my parents didn't. The obvious love of my first husband made me realise I was worthy. Even though we divorced, I left him, I'd learnt along the way that I am pretty awesome. My current partner looks like a cross between Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. He's Dutch and used to dating leggy Scandinavian blondes. I'm more Diane Abbott than Halle Berry but after meeting on here six years ago we're still going strong. You have to believe in you...in a nutshell. Good luck! | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " You've only been in here for 9 weeks, and have had 5 meets, the last one being 2 weeks ago, so 5 meets in 7 weeks is an amazing average considering most blokes in here won't get one meet in a year, so you're not doing too badly lol! Whatever you feel you're not doing, just continue with what you are doing, as it seems to be working pretty well so far....? | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " I actually feel the same as you but know that it doesn't matter what anyone says,I won't believe them anyway,so the problems my own and nobody else can help. On the plus side ,I think the text in your profile is awesome, if you can believe in what you say more and not give a fuck about anyone elses opinion then it will help! Let me know if you find the answers you are looking for | |||
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" But surely, by definition, if a bloke is trying to get into a woman's knickers, he must find her attractive. I can see why you'd need to filter out the crap if you are looking for something long term, but if all you are worried about is whether a bloke finds you attractive, the mere fact he is trying to have sex with you shows that he does. " Outside of Fab and t'internet I'd agree with you - but the number of messages received by a woman with no pictures, or ones that show very little at all, somewhat belies that when it comes to Fab etc | |||
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"Confidence is definitely a state of mind... I imagine pulling on a confidence cape when I need to. It also starts with liking yourself.. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself daily, that you are capable and that you are enough. Also tell yourself that you love yourself. " I used to have tonnes of happy confidence and vitality and now feel totally the opposite after recent life events . Hoping it comes back but it’s been six months now and I really miss the old me . | |||
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"I’m hoping someone has some words of wisdom for me. I’m struggling to process and/or understand why or how someone would want to play with me, when I’m sure they have played with people who are much more conventionally beautiful and well proportioned than me. I’d like to say, I’m not looking for an ego boost and empty compliments about how “of course you’re attractive”, because it will upset me more as I feel like I’m being lied to to make me happy. I know, logically, that someone somewhere has and will find me attractive. I just don’t understand why. I’m just struggling to understand and feel like hiding myself away. If anyone has a pearl of wisdom that I haven’t considered, I’d love to hear it. " Ultimately we are attracted to different things at different times. When I was younger I liked a specific type of woman. I eventually realised that what's upstairs is far more attractive to me than looks. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't put yourself down. If someone wants to play with you, they find you attractive. | |||
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