FabSwingers.com forum: Weekend dads, weekday mums

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It seems to be the day for having a good moan, so I'm getting this off my chest.

Do you recognise this scenario? You get a message from a good looking man, you exchange enough messages to establish sexual interest, but he sees his kids every weekend, and you're only free at weekends when your kids see the ex. When are you supposed to get it together??!!

Grr. OK, frustrated whinge over.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I only wish I had this issue. My kid's dad can't even be arsed with a weekend gig.

Compromise and a kid's sleepover usually enables me to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but mine was a real life scenario. I wouldn’t have any guy upstairs whilst my child was at home which she is during the week and every other weekend.

I was seeing a guy for 5 months who worked shifts 4 on 4 off and he had 50/50 custody of his kid and the deal was he had his kid for 3 nights that he was off work.

Made things very hard to work around. Like he would come here in the evenings but be downstairs and never stay over when my kid was here.

Different for me as well cos I’d known this dude about 20 odd years and he’d already met my kid loads of times over the years before we were ever an item.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so lucky that I have complete 50/50 custody with my ex. We have a great rota which means we have every other weekend child free and week nights. Only ever go 3 nights at the longest without seeing the children so it’s perfect. I honestly feel for parents that don’t ever get a break due too the other parent not playing their part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By real life I mean guy from real world not fab. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only wish I had this issue. My kid's dad can't even be arsed with a weekend gig.

Compromise and a kid's sleepover usually enables me to meet."

Getting 50 nights off a year doesn't feel lucky, but in comparison to your situation, I guess it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s a night off? My ex rarely sees the kids the only time I get is when they are at school

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single dad and between kids and work it's a real struggle

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Ouch, I feel your pain!

Everyone's different but we acknowledge we need weekends off and also want full days with the children when they're not at school. So we share out weekends with and without the children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this scenario but in the reverse I’m the weekday parent it’s very frustrating as it’s normally not this way round so my free time is very limited

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!"

It can be used however the OP wants to use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!"

OP has said nothing about dating?!

And who says it can’t be used for dating. Plenty of people have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 99% of the time the girls have control of this situation as the main carer. And if both parties are reasonable they can alternate weekends and week nights. Kids have to come first of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!"

I don't recall mentioning dating.

Getting together for sex/date/drink... The purpose is irrelevant; I'm moaning about the logistics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think 99% of the time the girls have control of this situation as the main carer. And if both parties are reasonable they can alternate weekends and week nights. Kids have to come first of course "

What do you mean by 'the girls have control of the situation as the main carer?'

As in if women are the main carers, they control when the children see their dad?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"reasonable" is lacking in my situation, unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!

OP has said nothing about dating?!

And who says it can’t be used for dating. Plenty of people have

Okay, to you and poster above, with due respect I used to be constantly rebuked when I first joined from people saying this wasn't a dating site at all when I suggested something similar!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think 99% of the time the girls have control of this situation as the main carer. And if both parties are reasonable they can alternate weekends and week nights. Kids have to come first of course

"reasonable" is lacking in my situation, unfortunately. "

That's a shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single dad. Only see my little one every two weeks for three hours on a Saturday

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

Can either of you do a babysitter? I know it’s crap when your time with the kids is limited as they see the other parent, but parents need time off too.

And yes, I know all about how tough it can be not having enough money for the babysitter...but it’s all still preferable to being with my ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!"

It’s hard enough to find a guy in the first place that’s without logistics and other factors involved. To say find someone else instead suggests that any dude will do as long as he’s free on the same day you’re free.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I have mine every other weekend and I see them twice during the week also and now they are at an age where they just pop in to see their old man whenever they want to now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the simple answer would seem to be find someone else, this isn't a dating site!"
It's what you want it to be. Casual or long term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Kids for me but ive friends who are single parents through Divorce or death and i take my hat off to you all.

You are all doing amazing job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boys dad has never been interested in them and I don't have the luxury of grandparents. When they were younger it was tough. Now they are older it's easier but I never have an empty house!

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

I have three kids, range 2-16.. I haven’t had one night off... ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I'm lucky, my ex and myself figure it out between us so I may have my kids 4 weekends on the bounce and then not have them for 2 weeks or vice versa, I also use 3 of my 4 weeks annual leave to have my kids and I take 1 week for myself, usually its figured around her working schedule and social life because I work Monday to friday and dont particularly have a life so to speak, I rarely make plans in advance but when I do I talk to my ex and make sure that I'm available.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I meet during the day in day use hotels in term time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I meet during the day in day use hotels in term time

A good solution, but tricky when you have a full time job, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't have kids so my schedules clear whenever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids go to their dads every other weekend and after school on a Wednesday for a few hours. But this can still be difficult to arrange to meet on times too

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im afraid thats how it is when you have young kids. I was a single parent and didnt have a proper relationship until my son went to secondary school. Its gets better as they get older

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im afraid thats how it is when you have young kids. I was a single parent and didnt have a proper relationship until my son went to secondary school. Its gets better as they get older"

I think it's getting harder! Constant mum's taxi duties on midweek evenings. Guess I'll have to wait til they've both left home and I'm retired

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Also i never have ever met a guy with kids under 16 for the simple reason i know it would be difficult for them to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im afraid thats how it is when you have young kids. I was a single parent and didnt have a proper relationship until my son went to secondary school. Its gets better as they get older

I think it's getting harder! Constant mum's taxi duties on midweek evenings. Guess I'll have to wait til they've both left home and I'm retired"

Can imagine how hard it is. just to get a bit of space in the house after they've gone to bed must be nice x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 27/02/20 21:33:41]

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I’m so lucky that I have complete 50/50 custody with my ex. We have a great rota which means we have every other weekend child free and week nights. Only ever go 3 nights at the longest without seeing the children so it’s perfect. I honestly feel for parents that don’t ever get a break due too the other parent not playing their part. "

Same situation here, hasn’t always been but for the last two years has worked really well. Although we are parents, we also need to remember we need adult time. I feel for those that struggle to get that time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get every other Saturday night for me, and understand this completely. So many messages, yet so many men with their family/wife/gf on these nights!

Then factor in attraction and all the other variables and this is why I meet rarely! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be a nightmare just trying to meet someone for a drink/coffee when kids are involved.

Parenting is hardest job in the world

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

"Can be a nightmare just trying to meet someone for a drink/coffee when kids are involved.

Parenting is hardest job in the world"

Amen to that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you, Fab people. It's good to get a little perspective from those who've got it harder than me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you, Fab people. It's good to get a little perspective from those who've got it harder than me.

It's good to get it out of your system, and I think I was trying to show solidarity, rather than a better/worse thing, so I hope I didnt give that impression.

Sending hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you, Fab people. It's good to get a little perspective from those who've got it harder than me.

It's good to get it out of your system, and I think I was trying to show solidarity, rather than a better/worse thing, so I hope I didnt give that impression.

Sending hugs xx"

Not at all! Feeling the solidarity. x

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I once dated this lady not on here. With my pattern of alternate weekends and two nights during the week looking after the children, it soon became apparent that we had an exact conflict to child care times lol.

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

I had this problem when I first got divorced as my son got drop onto me most weekends. So I made most off weekends my ex did have him.

To be honest it work out ok in the end as he decided he wanted to live with me full time which is fantastic.

It does put a dampner to my meeting women on here, but luckily in that time I meet & made a friend with benefits who I let him think is my girlfriend, they both get along well so she comes and stops over even with him here, we just have to be quite.

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