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Media hype drop....has fab really changed??

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By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Has fab changed? Are we too accepting of abuse & name calling?

So for the past 2 weeks or so my social media has been inundated with tags and memes and messages of "fix each others crowns" ....."dont allow others to put you down". I do remember seeing various thread posts also regarding building one another up. And several self help numbers for those feeling got at or depressed.

Why with all the media hype asking people not to be hateful is it that almost on an hourly basis theres abuse on fab? Men messaging women to call them names women messaging women.... (not a lot of crown fixing imo)

Why has it become the norm that its normal to receive abuse?

And yes before anyone says just block and move on I do. 99% I just block, if its particularly vile or threatening I report then block.

That doesn't really address it though....

And this isn't just me. Many I know on fab log in to just abuse from other members.

Fabbers...any ideas??

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Is it because you only really remember the abusive messages? So it creates an image of every message was abuse?

I do however think that some people are just morons and like to give abuse in an environment of relative anonymity, think all bullies are like that until they are called out.

Thankfully I've not been video tim of abusive messages on here.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Social media is poisonous and great in equal measure, unfortunately it's hard to filter the good and the bad.

A friend of mine is a fantastic musician but has had his confidence in his music shot to shit several times by trolls on YouTube and Instagram which has caused him to delete his entire back catalogue and reinvent himself several times over which is a real shame as he's so talented.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know plenty of awesome women that have moved on from fab over the years, which is such a shame because they were incredible women.

It’s such a shame when they log-in, they’re already spammed with 400 messages & pages of abuse.

But that’s the world we live in, people feel entitled almost like the world owes them something - if they don’t get it, they suddenly become abusive.

So fab has only slide down hill because of the users, honestly the abuse a woman gets on here can be disgusting at times!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has fab changed? Are we too accepting of abuse & name calling?

So for the past 2 weeks or so my social media has been inundated with tags and memes and messages of "fix each others crowns" ....."dont allow others to put you down". I do remember seeing various thread posts also regarding building one another up. And several self help numbers for those feeling got at or depressed.

Why with all the media hype asking people not to be hateful is it that almost on an hourly basis theres abuse on fab? Men messaging women to call them names women messaging women.... (not a lot of crown fixing imo)

Why has it become the norm that its normal to receive abuse?

And yes before anyone says just block and move on I do. 99% I just block, if its particularly vile or threatening I report then block.

That doesn't really address it though....

And this isn't just me. Many I know on fab log in to just abuse from other members.

Fabbers...any ideas??"

I’ve been lucky, I can only think of 2 instances where I’ve had abusive messages, and that’s in 5 years.

I know several people who face insults regularly on Fab but I have no idea why. They are lovely people.

It’s easy to say ‘ block and move on’, but I know that for some people, words cut deeply.

I think you’re right OP, in general it’s just accepted as being part and parcel of online life sadly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People seem to want the world to love them on facebook, follow me, like me, I'm so wonderful. Not everyone, but I do see a lot of it. So they try not to paint themselves in a negative manner and even look to be seen defending the abused ir whoever for fear of abuse and because their faces, friends, whereabouts etc etc is there for some or all to see. On here a guy can put pictures up sure, but his family and friends likely dont know hes on here so if hes the type of petulant twat that gives women abuse when they dont do what he wants, well, who's gonna know about it in his real life? So this gives him the confidence to act like the cunt that he really is knowing the worst that will happen is his account gets deleted.

This is only my opinion of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are a certain group of (mostly men) on fab who dont have any experience of a real adult relationship and feel entitled to say and do whatever they like because its only the internet and people on it deserve what they get.

I do believe that they become addicted to trolling and spreading hate and I have often wondered why they do it. I guess its the same motivation that makes someone drop a cat in a wheelie bin - a moment of power in an otherwise negative life?

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By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I think there are a certain group of (mostly men) on fab who dont have any experience of a real adult relationship and feel entitled to say and do whatever they like because its only the internet and people on it deserve what they get.

I do believe that they become addicted to trolling and spreading hate and I have often wondered why they do it. I guess its the same motivation that makes someone drop a cat in a wheelie bin - a moment of power in an otherwise negative life? "

Goodness knows.. what will it take for it to stop though?

How many people have to be trolled before it stops?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think there's too strands to this - firstly the general internet one that affords anonymity to users that allows them to be vile and abusive and for the most part get away with it - as soon as some people log on they become disconnected from reality and can be and do whatever they want, and of course that will bring out the worst in *some* people.

The internet is a wonderful thing that has so many positives in terms of connecting us with information and people that previously we'd have been unlikely to counter - but as with most wonderful things there's also the negative side too, and those that will use it for bad rather than good.

Then you have the Fab angle and those that see "sex site" and think it's their chance to live out their fantasies and find sex on tap etc and for *some* that means all sense of courtesy and respect and general decency, not to mention all the "normal" rules of attraction, gets left behind and when the stark reality kicks in that it's not like that at all, people get frustrated and lash out because their expectations haven't been met, rather than doing the reasonable thing and re-setting those expectations to a realistic level.

How that is addressed, I really don't know, it comes down to individuals ultimately and that is something you can't control sadly - so while no-one should have to put up with abuse and vile behaviour, actions like reporting and blocking, or if you can challenging vile behaviour, are about all that is open to each of us to do, along with carrying on being decent people ourselves and not losing sight of reality and the fact that the abusers *are* in the minority, just a shame that you have to look past them to see the many good people that *are* out there.

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

I think my standards about what is abusive are wrong. I've never had abuse on here and while I don't twit or book of face, the comments I've seen quoted as examples of abuse wouldn't bother me. I seem to be able to live with the "sticks and stones will break.." philosophy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/02/20 11:38:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never in 10 years received anything I would call abusive. I have had derogatory things said to me in messages but if that is their opinion or how they feel about me they are entitled to that. I find abuse pretty abhorrent and would love to discover away to minimise it in a context like this. The only thing beyond blocking and reporting it, is for me to ensure I don’t do or say anything that could be construed as abusive. The only behaviour I can control is my own and my response to others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has fab changed? Are we too accepting of abuse & name calling?

So for the past 2 weeks or so my social media has been inundated with tags and memes and messages of "fix each others crowns" ....."dont allow others to put you down". I do remember seeing various thread posts also regarding building one another up. And several self help numbers for those feeling got at or depressed.

Why with all the media hype asking people not to be hateful is it that almost on an hourly basis theres abuse on fab? Men messaging women to call them names women messaging women.... (not a lot of crown fixing imo)

Why has it become the norm that its normal to receive abuse?

And yes before anyone says just block and move on I do. 99% I just block, if its particularly vile or threatening I report then block.

That doesn't really address it though....

And this isn't just me. Many I know on fab log in to just abuse from other members.

Fabbers...any ideas??"

The fab admin should be forwarded any abusive male and the culprits banned instantly. My opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mail*

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By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I think my standards about what is abusive are wrong. I've never had abuse on here and while I don't twit or book of face, the comments I've seen quoted as examples of abuse wouldn't bother me. I seem to be able to live with the "sticks and stones will break.." philosophy."

I'm extremely tough skinned and laugh at most things said on here. However it is becoming more and more. People aren't just retaliating with "slag" or whatever when you say no.

They are listing their perceived faults with you and sending it. Quite often in a first message too.

Stick and stones yeah but how many face very personal battles who are sent shit??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that is why I don't have social media.

I only have Instagram where I post travel photos and the account is private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think my standards about what is abusive are wrong. I've never had abuse on here and while I don't twit or book of face, the comments I've seen quoted as examples of abuse wouldn't bother me. I seem to be able to live with the "sticks and stones will break.." philosophy.

I'm extremely tough skinned and laugh at most things said on here. However it is becoming more and more. People aren't just retaliating with "slag" or whatever when you say no.

They are listing their perceived faults with you and sending it. Quite often in a first message too.

Stick and stones yeah but how many face very personal battles who are sent shit??"

Wow what a horrible thing to have to deal with!

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Has fab changed? Are we too accepting of abuse & name calling?

So for the past 2 weeks or so my social media has been inundated with tags and memes and messages of "fix each others crowns" ....."dont allow others to put you down". I do remember seeing various thread posts also regarding building one another up. And several self help numbers for those feeling got at or depressed.

Why with all the media hype asking people not to be hateful is it that almost on an hourly basis theres abuse on fab? Men messaging women to call them names women messaging women.... (not a lot of crown fixing imo)

Why has it become the norm that its normal to receive abuse?

And yes before anyone says just block and move on I do. 99% I just block, if its particularly vile or threatening I report then block.

That doesn't really address it though....

And this isn't just me. Many I know on fab log in to just abuse from other members.

Fabbers...any ideas??"

Because people would rather pay it forward.

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By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Has fab changed? Are we too accepting of abuse & name calling?

So for the past 2 weeks or so my social media has been inundated with tags and memes and messages of "fix each others crowns" ....."dont allow others to put you down". I do remember seeing various thread posts also regarding building one another up. And several self help numbers for those feeling got at or depressed.

Why with all the media hype asking people not to be hateful is it that almost on an hourly basis theres abuse on fab? Men messaging women to call them names women messaging women.... (not a lot of crown fixing imo)

Why has it become the norm that its normal to receive abuse?

And yes before anyone says just block and move on I do. 99% I just block, if its particularly vile or threatening I report then block.

That doesn't really address it though....

And this isn't just me. Many I know on fab log in to just abuse from other members.

Fabbers...any ideas??

Because people would rather pay it forward. "

Pay what forward?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think one of the biggest issues is some people don't see interaction on the Internet as real.

They also don't have to deal with any consequences, so they see it as "no harm done"

I don't treat anyone here any differently than I would in person.

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