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Auntie Ps advice line

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What's worrying your warts?

Problem dog?

Bread fallen butter side down?

Cloning gone wrong?

Whatever your issue you can share it here, in the non family friendly advice line.

Spill those beans

Uncle B is on hand too to help, what lucky buggers you are.

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

Hello auntie P I could do with some help please I can't get into Shrewsbury town , there's a couple of ladies that needed me today but I can't get there due to the flooding

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello auntie P I could do with some help please I can't get into Shrewsbury town , there's a couple of ladies that needed me today but I can't get there due to the flooding "

Fucking swim ya pansy.

You'll be seething if I send David Hasslehoff in your place and he makes you look like you'd be better off in "diary of a wimpy kid"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?"

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth"

Yes. This is good advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Auntie P I need to get rich quick. I was thinking of selling my body but fear I will end up in more debt! Please help x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth

Yes. This is good advice!"

What the fudge did you expect?

Me to tell you to drown all the people in custard as they entered the room? That would just be silly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Auntie P I need to get rich quick. I was thinking of selling my body but fear I will end up in more debt! Please help x"

Sell your best friends body instead. Best friends always say they'll do anything for ya.... put that mofo to the test.

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

I’m worried that my normality is being lost the more I use this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth

Yes. This is good advice!

What the fudge did you expect?

Me to tell you to drown all the people in custard as they entered the room? That would just be silly."

Oh...yea...that would be silly...ha ha....

On a completely separate issue, any ideas where the best place to get rid of a lot of custard would be

Asking for a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Auntie P I need to get rich quick. I was thinking of selling my body but fear I will end up in more debt! Please help x

Sell your best friends body instead. Best friends always say they'll do anything for ya.... put that mofo to the test."

Of course. If I sell them by the kilo they will be worth a fortune!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth

Yes. This is good advice!

What the fudge did you expect?

Me to tell you to drown all the people in custard as they entered the room? That would just be silly.

Oh...yea...that would be silly...ha ha....

On a completely separate issue, any ideas where the best place to get rid of a lot of custard would be

Asking for a friend"

Clown school ya dummy. They'll think it's Christmas

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh Auntie P, just what I need! Since the start of the year I've been carrying various ailments. Just got another course of antibiotics which always gives the fucking thrush and makes me generally bloody miserable.

Would you recommend cloning as a viable alternative to trying to fix this malfunctioning immune system?

And if not, how easy is it to have sex in a hazmat suit? Is there a special sexy times hazmat range?

Yours grumpily,

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm working on a SQL query today. Basically I need to join the Customers, Sale Orders and Products table together. Easy right? It is. But the problem is using a pivot table with a variable amount of columns. Stack overflow isn't helpful on the matter

Any ideas?

Easy. Throw a sickie and let that pleb ya work with show his true worth

Yes. This is good advice!

What the fudge did you expect?

Me to tell you to drown all the people in custard as they entered the room? That would just be silly.

Oh...yea...that would be silly...ha ha....

On a completely separate issue, any ideas where the best place to get rid of a lot of custard would be

Asking for a friend

Clown school ya dummy. They'll think it's Christmas "

You are on FIRE today!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh Auntie P, just what I need! Since the start of the year I've been carrying various ailments. Just got another course of antibiotics which always gives the fucking thrush and makes me generally bloody miserable.

Would you recommend cloning as a viable alternative to trying to fix this malfunctioning immune system?

And if not, how easy is it to have sex in a hazmat suit? Is there a special sexy times hazmat range?

Yours grumpily,

Mrs TMN x "

Funny you should mention cloning, as we have some recent experience in this field. If you want you can borrow our science lab that just happens to be in my bedroom. Be careful you don't get any artifacts of unknown origin in the beam tho, causes all sorts of kerfuffle

You'll have to go high end on the hazmat suit I'm afraid. Hazmazeratti make top quality gear as well as it looking good it's got some poke to it.

And stop putting birds up yer chuff, what have these poor thrushes done to deserve it. Try swallowing instead.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Oh Auntie P, just what I need! Since the start of the year I've been carrying various ailments. Just got another course of antibiotics which always gives the fucking thrush and makes me generally bloody miserable.

Would you recommend cloning as a viable alternative to trying to fix this malfunctioning immune system?

And if not, how easy is it to have sex in a hazmat suit? Is there a special sexy times hazmat range?

Yours grumpily,

Mrs TMN x

Funny you should mention cloning, as we have some recent experience in this field. If you want you can borrow our science lab that just happens to be in my bedroom. Be careful you don't get any artifacts of unknown origin in the beam tho, causes all sorts of kerfuffle

You'll have to go high end on the hazmat suit I'm afraid. Hazmazeratti make top quality gear as well as it looking good it's got some poke to it.

And stop putting birds up yer chuff, what have these poor thrushes done to deserve it. Try swallowing instead."

A science lab in your bedroom, you say? What a handy coincidence! As long as it doesn't turn out like The Fly, though. I don't think any top of the range saucy hazmat gear could balance that freaky shit out.

Ah, that's where I've been going wrong with the birds! Not to self - not up the fanny. Swallow like a good girl instead.

Cheers m'dear! X

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