FabSwingers.com forum: How do you cope

By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Asking for a friend honestly.

How would you cope with getting too emotionally involved with someone on Fab and they seem selfish and have not got the same level of feelings, albeit they have some but not as strong.

Has it ever happened to anyone here?

If so how have you dealt with it.

Me I’ve told her to go out and enjoy herself with others.

I’ll pass on all responses..

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good advice.

Probably go cold-Turkey with them, endings can be so messy x

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"Asking for a friend honestly.

How would you cope with getting too emotionally involved with someone on Fab and they seem selfish and have not got the same level of feelings, albeit they have some but not as strong.

Has it ever happened to anyone here?

If so how have you dealt with it.

Me I’ve told her to go out and enjoy herself with others.

I’ll pass on all responses..

Thank you

If they are not feeling the same you just need to go cold turkey and leave them be after telling them how you feel?

You as in your friend...

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Tell her to take a step back go out and meet others and maybe not make herself so available to him

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Cut and run. Take care of yourself.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Communication can go a long way.

What does your friend want?

Expectation can lead to disappointment so upfront communication is at least clear for all parties

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I would suggest putting some distance between them. They may end up getting hurt otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this last year and just ended up walking away before anyone got hurt. She wont even speak to me now which is a shame. Maybe I left it too long before walking away?!

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Tell her to take a step back go out and meet others and maybe not make herself so available to him "

This is what I said to her.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t buy the notion that someone can have some feelings but not strong ones. You either have them or you don’t. You can find someone attractive enough to sleep with without having any feelings at all. Your friend needs to know that sex does not equal feelings and won’t create them either. I think you can know straight away if you’re able to have feelings for a person and want them in your life.

My advice would be don’t try to convince them or try and change their mind or push for more.

If your feelings aren’t returned stick them back in your handbag and leave the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not on the same level then call it quits

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Tell her to take a step back go out and meet others and maybe not make herself so available to him

This is what I said to her....."

But its easier said than done and easier when your on the outside than actually involved it in but she gonna end up getting hurt I walk away if it was me

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Communication can go a long way.

What does your friend want?

Expectation can lead to disappointment so upfront communication is at least clear for all parties

She does not want a relationship with him but he has done things like send her roses, buy her gifts, ring her lots in the day, take her out for meals but then he does selfish hurtful things to her.

Like I said I told her to meet others and keep her options open.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Communication can go a long way.

What does your friend want?

Expectation can lead to disappointment so upfront communication is at least clear for all parties

She does not want a relationship with him but he has done things like send her roses, buy her gifts, ring her lots in the day, take her out for meals but then he does selfish hurtful things to her.

Like I said I told her to meet others and keep her options open.

What does he do that selfish and hurtful

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Communication can go a long way.

What does your friend want?

Expectation can lead to disappointment so upfront communication is at least clear for all parties

She does not want a relationship with him but he has done things like send her roses, buy her gifts, ring her lots in the day, take her out for meals but then he does selfish hurtful things to her.

Like I said I told her to meet others and keep her options open.

Why doesn't she confront the selfish, hurtful behaviour?

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Communication can go a long way.

What does your friend want?

Expectation can lead to disappointment so upfront communication is at least clear for all parties

She does not want a relationship with him but he has done things like send her roses, buy her gifts, ring her lots in the day, take her out for meals but then he does selfish hurtful things to her.

Like I said I told her to meet others and keep her options open.

Why doesn't she confront the selfish, hurtful behaviour?"

I think that is a good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No amount of gifts would make me see past the selfish hurtful behaviour now.

I couldn't get emotionally involved with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say if there is an imbalance in feelings, then that needs bringing up and discussing. Few take it well, at which point move on.... if it's taken well then some continued friendship could be possible. But proceed with caution. Communication is the key.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Cut yr losses b4 it starts to hurt ... shouldn’t happen but it can and obviously does

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