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Exclusivity... Asked or Tried?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Has anyone ever either been tempted or been asked to become exclusive to just the one couple/person?? As in other swingers lol.. Not a partner or marriage etc...

We have heard of this happening a few times now, seen it happen and rarely with a good or happy outcome..

Anyone here tried it maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhh I don’t know some married coupled stay exclusive all there life’s.

Not sure if I got into a commitment thing with a man I would be happy with him swinging though. I always wonder about couples. How do you know your partner isn’t telling you about all encounters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ohhh I don’t know some married coupled stay exclusive all there life’s.

Not sure if I got into a commitment thing with a man I would be happy with him swinging though. I always wonder about couples. How do you know your partner isn’t telling you about all encounters?

"

I'm gonna guess thats where trust becomes part of the equation, if no trust no point being a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

back on topic.....no one has ever asked us and if they did there would be a loud BOOM saying NO CHANCE, here to have fun whenever the opportunity arises not bloody wait till the exclusive couple find time..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well.. I did say not as a couple or marriage lol.. I mean as above, another swinging couple or partner..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My immediate thoughts reading the OP was: Kinda defeats the whole concept of swinging doesn't it? But having thought about it some more I think that if one couple is exclusive to one other couple then they have to trust that each couple respects that committment (I'm assuming that they want to be able to have sex without using condoms).

But what happens when one of the foursome wants to dabble elsewhere? Or even give it up altogether?

I'm sure there are couples out there who would not regard themselves as full-on swingers but are open to an expanded exclusive relationship with another couple - hard to find, I'd wage, but good luck to them if they find such a couple and it works.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The ones we know of its all failed miserably for them... In one of the couples he got bored and started meeting behind the other three's back.. she found out, flipped and as a kinda punishment started seeing the couple behind his back alone.. deceit all round then as the other couple were not letting on eh lol... Ugly situation.

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

as a single guy i suppose if a single woman wanted exclusive right's it would have to be a shared thing, and who's to say you still couldn't swing as a couple, as long as theres trust and respect in any relationship its a possibility i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1998 reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women had had sex outside their marriages. In only 10 years, those numbers have more than doubled!!!!

Do you know what your beloved is doing right now

Single is simples

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"1998 reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women had had sex outside their marriages. In only 10 years, those numbers have more than doubled!!!!

Do you know what your beloved is doing right now

Single is simples "

lol... I'm talking about in swinging, not extra marrital affairs babes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as a single guy i suppose if a single woman wanted exclusive right's it would have to be a shared thing, and who's to say you still couldn't swing as a couple, as long as theres trust and respect in any relationship its a possibility i think "

This. An exclusive three or moresome is just an advanced form of relationship tbh and a twosome is just a... normal relationship?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I know a woman is well known for it. If a guy meets her and wants to see her again then she tells them they cant meet anyone else.

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

[Removed by poster at 25/09/09 19:50:02]

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

i had a guy tell me if we met he'd expect exclusivity ...suggested he tried a dating site not a swing site!

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By *ibertinesCouple
over a year ago

Cupar

My thoughts as a polyamorist:

There is an obscene correlation between mental illness and identifying as polyamorous. I have no statistics. This is personal experience. Everyone I've met that is poly (its quite a few....) either started nuts or went nuts during or after a poly relationship.

There is a reason for this. For each person you add to a relationship, you square the trouble/ emotional conflict. Its HAAARRRDD.

I'm not suggesting the couples that want to be exclusive with another couple are mental necessarily. Just that perhaps they havent given it enough thought. Think what it would take to want to commit to a 2 person monogamous relationship.....do you really want to have to deal with all the drama of adding 2 more people into the mix?

As for bareback fun - if you want it safely in a group there are ways to do it. They involve trust and honesty. I have yet to meet such a group.

So to the OP: Bugger exclusivity of any form. I only want to play with and have relationships with people who can look after themselves practically and emotionally. Certainly not folk who need to cling to me like a possesion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My thoughts as a polyamorist:

There is an obscene correlation between mental illness and identifying as polyamorous. I have no statistics. This is personal experience. Everyone I've met that is poly (its quite a few....) either started nuts or went nuts during or after a poly relationship.

There is a reason for this. For each person you add to a relationship, you square the trouble/ emotional conflict. Its HAAARRRDD.

I'm not suggesting the couples that want to be exclusive with another couple are mental necessarily. Just that perhaps they havent given it enough thought. Think what it would take to want to commit to a 2 person monogamous relationship.....do you really want to have to deal with all the drama of adding 2 more people into the mix?

As for bareback fun - if you want it safely in a group there are ways to do it. They involve trust and honesty. I have yet to meet such a group.

So to the OP: Bugger exclusivity of any form. I only want to play with and have relationships with people who can look after themselves practically and emotionally. Certainly not folk who need to cling to me like a possesion. "

Wow... Deep!! I just thought they wanted to get all sticky..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1998 reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women had had sex outside their marriages. In only 10 years, those numbers have more than doubled!!!!

Do you know what your beloved is doing right now

Single is simples "

Sitting dozing on the sofa next to me.

After getting up at 5.30am to go to work,she's too tired for any extra shenanigans.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely swinging is all about who you want to swing with , and not the number of ppl you acctually have fun with......

if i am wrong in this and im sure you will tell me if i am, then we forgot to read some small print when we joined the site......... lol. its about fun and not some competition as to how many you have to have fun with before you are a " so called swinger"...........

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you know what your beloved is doing right now

Single is simples

Sitting dozing on the sofa next to me.

After getting up at 5.30am to go to work,she's too tired for any extra shenanigans.

XXXX"

Just the way it should be.... Shame the light fades so early already eh... could have trimmed a few shrubs before doing dinner I recon too...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"surely swinging is all about who you want to swing with , and not the number of ppl you acctually have fun with......

if i am wrong in this and im sure you will tell me if i am, then we forgot to read some small print when we joined the site......... lol. its about fun and not some competition as to how many you have to have fun with before you are a " so called swinger"........... "

Small print?? ehh... No ones saying anyone can or can't... or how many etc.. More has anyone tried!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1998 reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women had had sex outside their marriages. In only 10 years, those numbers have more than doubled!!!!

Do you know what your beloved is doing right now

Single is simples

lol... I'm talking about in swinging, not extra marrital affairs babes?

"

Nope i think your title was "exclusivity"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

then whats the prob if ppl want exclusive ppl they meet..........just like i was saying, theres no number you haev to have fun with to be called a swinger lol.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"then whats the prob if ppl want exclusive ppl they meet..........just like i was saying, theres no number you haev to have fun with to be called a swinger lol......."

Who said theres a problem?? Asking the opinions of anyone who may have tried...

Maybe the original post is confusing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Has anyone ever either been tempted or been asked to become exclusive to just the one couple/person?? As in other swingers lol.. Not a partner or marriage etc...

We have heard of this happening a few times now, seen it happen and rarely with a good or happy outcome..

Anyone here tried it maybe? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"then whats the prob if ppl want exclusive ppl they meet..........just like i was saying, theres no number you haev to have fun with to be called a swinger lol.......

Who said theres a problem?? Asking the opinions of anyone who may have tried...

Maybe the original post is confusing...

"

Just a little but assumed you was on the beer

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe the original post is confusing...

Just a little but assumed you was on the beer "

Smarty pants lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well.. I did say not as a couple or marriage lol.. I mean as above, another swinging couple or partner.. "

It hasnt been asked of me but through the natural course of things, this is what i have become. and it suits me at the moment so no worries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe the original post is confusing...

Just a little but assumed you was on the beer

Smarty pants lol.. "

And who says i have any on shortie?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe the original post is confusing...

Just a little but assumed you was on the beer

Smarty pants lol..

And who says i have any on shortie? "

Lucky for you i'm over 40 and under 6ft... cheeky mare lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I would'nt want to be exclusive to anyone in swinging nor would I ask anyone to be exclusive to me

Im already married ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Im already married ffs "

Does rob know hun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"

Im already married ffs

Does rob know hun xx "

No so keep it schtum...........Ive got away with it for a few years I think I can keep secret for a few more yet

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

hic, can someone read these out as hic i seem to be suffering from hic alcohol hazing hic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

forgive me for being thick, but how can swingers have exclusivity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"forgive me for being thick, but how can swingers have exclusivity "

We forgive ya hun xxx

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea


"forgive me for being thick, but how can swingers have exclusivity "

i know of a few couples and singles who will only swing with established friends, would that be designated as exclusive ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm! don't think it would be for us. All for meeting the same people several times if the connection is right, but exclusivity? I don't think so. For us this is all about fun and not a lifestyle but as is always quoted, each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We lock all our meets up forever lol xx

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Exclusivity? a dangerous path to tread we think, we do of course have coupes we visit time and time again and thouroughly enjoy is - said it before we still see our first ever 'swap' some 4 years after our first meet but exclusivity could soon develop in to jealousy and then where would it end up? Nope close/regular friends is great but can't see how 'exclusivity' could ever work. The only 'exclusive' partners for us are eachother if you see what we mean.

Just an opinion of course and others may well think its a great idea.

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