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Crass Lyrics

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Let’s face it; Songwriting isn’t easy and not everyone can effortlessly pen lyrics on the level of the esteemed likes of Bob Dylan.

With this in mind therefore, let us celebrate instead all the instances wherein a songwriter has blatantly sacrificed all sentiment and logical sense in a wholly desperate bid to make the line rhyme.

In other words; Give me the worst lyrical examples from established acts you can folks

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By *hom_1981Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Can Des’ree be topped on her single Life...?

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Can Des’ree be topped on her single Life...?

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

"

Now that is indeed a truly high brow to set

I was going to suggest Scooter who have consistently supplied a plethora of hugely inane lyrics but I think your example from Dessree tips anything I could list from them

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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago

Harringay

"Can Des’ree be topped on her single Life...?

I don't want to see a ghost

It's a sight that I fear most

I'd rather have a piece of toast

"

Similar to one of my own lyrics: I see you as a ghost, you're the thing I hate the most.

Ozzy Osbourne's Mr Crowley has annoying one: Do you like my white horse, Its symbolic of course

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (whole song, but here's the first verse!)

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel

Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert

And you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch,

You want it rough, you're out of bounds

I want you smothered, want you covered,

Like my Waffle House hash browns

Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola

Stock you are inclined to make me rise

An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (whole song, but here's the first verse!)

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel

Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert

And you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch,

You want it rough, you're out of bounds

I want you smothered, want you covered,

Like my Waffle House hash browns

Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola

Stock you are inclined to make me rise

An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time"

Great Scott!

Surely some shall we say politely, ‘unusual’ substances must have been imbibed during the writing of that

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (whole song, but here's the first verse!)

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel

Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert

And you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch,

You want it rough, you're out of bounds

I want you smothered, want you covered,

Like my Waffle House hash browns

Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola

Stock you are inclined to make me rise

An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Great Scott!

Surely some shall we say politely, ‘unusual’ substances must have been imbibed during the writing of that

"

If you've never heard it (where were you in 1998?!) then.... YouTube

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Of course no list would be complete without a mention of a certain Mr Justin Bieber.....

Aside from the obvious (and wholly odious!) ‘Babyyy, babyyyy, babyyyy ooooooh’, here’s another prime example of our Justin’s lyrical prowess: ‘Swag, swag, swag on you. Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue.’ (!!!)

Pure genius I tell you!

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Love Resurrection by Alison Moyet:

Verse 2: What seed must I sow to replenish this barren land

Teach me to harvest, I want you to grow in my hand

Let's be optimistic, let's say that we won't toil in vain

If we pull together we'll never fall apart again

1st verse: Not to mention, that she needs a warm injection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nickelbacks Something in your mouth is filth from start to finish if I rem_mber rightly

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By *NTLovers2Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

How about ABC,s lyric

"Can't complain, mustn't grumble,

help yourself to another piece of Apple Crumble "

100% genuine lyric...

Who could Forget Divine Comedy's

National Express

"Mini skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle back in 63,

But its hard to get by when you're

arse is the size of a small country "

??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch (whole song, but here's the first verse!)

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me

And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel

Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert

And you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two-hand touch,

You want it rough, you're out of bounds

I want you smothered, want you covered,

Like my Waffle House hash browns

Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola

Stock you are inclined to make me rise

An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Great Scott!

Surely some shall we say politely, ‘unusual’ substances must have been imbibed during the writing of that

If you've never heard it (where were you in 1998?!) then.... YouTube

"

Tbf there whole song catalogue is like that haha. Love bloodhound gang.

They have a song just made from Ralph Wiggum quotes from the simpsons

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Here’s one from Madonna: I Love New York:

‘I don't like cities,

But I like New York,

Other places,

Make me feel like a dork(!!)’

Yesssss.....highly commendable rhyming right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nickelback - Animals

We were parked out by the tracks

We're sitting in the back

And we just started getting busy

When she whispered what was that

The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are

And that was when she started screamin'

That's my dad outside the car

Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition

Must have wound up on the floor while

We were switching our positions

I guess they knew that she was missing

As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Violent Delight - I wish I was a girl

Some people think I might be gay

But I don't swing the other way

I just want to be a girl so damn much

To feel my clit as it gets

But if I was a girl I couldn't drive no more

Cause I couldn't tell the difference between the clutch and the door

I'd get mood swings and I'd have to shave my pits

But I wouldn't really care 'cause I would have massive tits

I wouldn't have to put up with erections all the time

I'd get a better job when performing 69

Cause being a girl would be so cool

Cause when you cum you don't leave a pool

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A bit of Scooter now (tremendously fun as they may be, their lyrics invariably lead to much head scratching)

This is from their smash hit, Nassaja:

‘You ain't stoppin' us now!

(Wonderful human beings) (Hey!)

Yeah, I am the junglist soldier

Come on

The rocket launcher stopped ya (hey!)

It's not a bird, it's not a plane

It must be Dave who's on the train

Wanna wanna get'cha, gonna gonna get'cha

Tell 'em that I told ya

Yeahhhhhhh!’

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"How about ABC,s lyric

"Can't complain, mustn't grumble,

help yourself to another piece of Apple Crumble "

100% genuine lyric...

Who could Forget Divine Comedy's

National Express

"Mini skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle back in 63,

But its hard to get by when you're

arse is the size of a small country "

??"

I'll allow the ABC but Neil Hannon's is lyrical genius

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The coupling of "shoulder" and "older" always makes me grin whenever I hear Madness' Embarassment - it works but is very crowbarred in

Our mum, she don't wanna know, she says

"I'm feelin' twice as old", she says

"Thought she had a head on her shoulder

'Cause I'm feelin' twice as older

I'm feelin' twice as older"

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

As much as I love good old Tinie Tempah, his lyrics are often a tad..........erm.......?!

From, ‘Pass Out‘:

‘Yeah, they say hello, they say hola, and they say bonjour

I'm pissed, I never got to fly on a Concord

I been Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe

I'm fuckin' crazy with the kicks, call me Jean-Claude....’

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By *aastyKnixWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Just about any Macc Lads lyric can be described as crass (intentionally, obviously).

Rhyming 'George Michael' with 'menstrual cycle', just one shining example among many.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Lovely hat.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

From Thin Lizzie

Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak

Somewhere in this town

I'd guess it will be at the jail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just about any Macc Lads lyric can be described as crass (intentionally, obviously).

Rhyming 'George Michael' with 'menstrual cycle', just one shining example among many."

And of course ‘I think a rats crawled up his arsehole and died!’. Absolutely bonkers!

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By *aastyKnixWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Just about any Macc Lads lyric can be described as crass (intentionally, obviously).

Rhyming 'George Michael' with 'menstrual cycle', just one shining example among many.

And of course ‘I think a rats crawled up his arsehole and died!’. Absolutely bonkers! "

"Boiled eggs...three kebabs, fucks sake, no one strike a match".

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Just rem_mbered one that I can rem_mber Sean Hughes going on about on Never Mind The Buzzcocks years ago...

...Haircut 100's "Love Plus One" and the line:

"Where do we go from here?

Is it down to the lake I fear"

As he said, what made the lake particularly frightening?

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Please just look up the lyrics for Loser by Beck.......

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By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim

Elektronik Supersonik by Santo Cilauro

Hey, baby, wake up from your asleep

We have arrived onto the future

And the whole world is become

Elektronik supersonik

Supersonik elektronik

Hey, baby, ride with me away

We doesn't have much time

My blue jeans is tight

So onto my love rocket, climb

Inside tank of fuel is not fuel, but love

Above us, there is nothing above

But the stars, above

All systems gone

Prepare for downcount

Five, four, three, one

Off blast

Fly away in my space rocket

You no need put money in my pocket

The door is closed, I just lock it

(Ha, ha, ha ha ha ha) I put my port plug in your socket

The sun in sky is bright like fire

You and me gets higher and higher

Cut off communication wire

Only thing can stop us is flat tire

Ha, ha, ha ha ha ha

Hey, love crusader

I want to be your space invader…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Class act. Sweaty Betty should be the most streamed piece of music second only to steel panthers glory hole

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think viewed through the lens of today's way of thinking the words to Delilah must be some of the most crass in songwriting history.

"I felt the knife in my hand, she laughed no more"

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Most songs penned by Noel Gallagher...

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By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay

What’s she gonna look like

With a chimney on her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat it!

Just as deep as you can fuck it.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I'm serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer....

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By *hom_1981Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Most songs penned by Noel Gallagher..."

I’m not a fan of either Gallagher brothers. But I think you’re way off the mark.

Noel is a fabulous song writer and musician. Just not my groove.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Most songs penned by Noel Gallagher...

I’m not a fan of either Gallagher brothers. But I think you’re way off the mark.

Noel is a fabulous song writer and musician. Just not my groove."

I like Oasis and one or two of both brothers solo efforts, but songs such as 'Supersonic' and 'wonderwall' make absolutely no sense and are just like they swallowed a rhyming dictionary.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Most songs penned by Noel Gallagher...

I’m not a fan of either Gallagher brothers. But I think you’re way off the mark.

Noel is a fabulous song writer and musician. Just not my groove."

Oh I dunno...

"Slowly walking down the hall

Faster than a cannonball"

Eh?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Eurymics did one I think is particularly bad.

I walk into an empty room

And suddenly my heart goes boom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Howlin Wolf . Whom by the way i think is awesome ..

I asked her for water

She brought me Gasoline

Thats the " terrorbalist woman ive ever seen ...

I kid you not " terrorbalist " is that even a word !!!

It goes on

Church bells tolling

Hurst is rolling slow

Hope my baby dont go

Mate if she is in the Hurst already its a fair bet she is a gonna !

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"What’s she gonna look like

With a chimney on her "

God, had forgotten that one!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Another profound gem from the boys from Scooter now, this time on their track, ‘Weekend’:

‘Here comes the chicks terminator

Here we come, in control, here we go

....Respect to the man in the ice cream van’

Delightfully random glory right there!

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Scooter again - Back in the UK

'Somewhere in England, banging the bass, join our trip to this weird place. Back to nature, where we can be, faster, harder, loud and free'

Used to seem deep and meaningful when I was 15!

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I'll sew your ass hole closed and keep feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya'

Thank you Wu Tang Clan.

Cracking song, but slightly dark!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s she gonna look like

With a chimney on her

God, had forgotten that one! "

A chimney according to google is a slang reference to a " black eye " and originates from Northern Ireland ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She drinks more than most

Therefore she's soaked with wet

I am hungover

Therefore I'm hung, and over endowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll sew your ass hole closed and keep feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya'

Thank you Wu Tang Clan.

Cracking song, but slightly dark!"

Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea

Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea

ODB

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"I'll sew your ass hole closed and keep feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya'

Thank you Wu Tang Clan.

Cracking song, but slightly dark!

Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea

Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea

ODB

"

He was cracking.

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By *tooveMan
over a year ago

belfast

Opened this thinking it might be actual lyrics by crass.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Little old lady got mutialated late last night whilst looking for a place called Lee hoo fucks

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By *ottielayWoman
over a year ago

by the bay

I mean, we could throw shapes together

But it doesn’t mean you’re in my circle, yeah

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Lest we forget Prefab Sprout - King of Rock ‘n Roll

Hot dog, jumping frog, Albuquerque.......wtf???

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

That’s why a fucked you’re bitch you fat motherfucker

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Here’s none other than Mr Neil Diamond on his song, ‘I Am… I Said’

‘I am’… I said

To no one there

And no one heard at all

Not even the chair’

Bloody hell, that’s deep Neil, really deep sir.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Eighties rock abounded with crass, testosterone oozing, hairy balls hanging out, ‘we couldn’t give a flying fuck!’ type lyrics (it was an integral part of the charm after all) and to demonstrate what I mean, here’s our very own Def Leppard (who were so, ‘we don’t give a fuck!’ that they deliberately spelt their band name incorrectly) with their classic hit, ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’:

‘Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on

Livin’ like a lover with a radar phone

Lookin’ like a tramp, like a video vamp

Demolition woman, can I be your man?’

Truly music to grow ones beard to

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Plant A Seed, Plant A Flower, Plant A Rose, You Can Plant Any One Of Those, Keep Planting To Find Out Which One Grows, It's A Secret No One Knows’

MMMBop by Hanson

Lyrical genius or crass shite? You decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog

'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg

Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God

'Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog

Like a DC-10 I'm guaranteed to go down

But baby your black box is the one that I found

I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money

Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smell funny

So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes

I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes

She's one that's speechless but I'm the one that's tongue tied

She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side

There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose

'Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes

Yea I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I want to be

Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base

I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes

Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties

And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll sew your ass hole closed and keep feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya' and feeding ya'

Thank you Wu Tang Clan.

Cracking song, but slightly dark!

Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea

Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea

ODB

He was cracking."

Big baby jesus

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Kid Rock provided some absolutely amazing lyrics in his 1999 single, Bawitdaba:

’Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy’

Yes.....

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