FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

If you can’t say anything nice

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t see the point why people do it, going to get you nowhere and depending on what’s said it could prove upsetting for those who receive it.

Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can’t see the point why people do it, going to get you nowhere and depending on what’s said it could prove upsetting for those who receive it.

Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us. "

It’s funny because no one is better than anyone. We are all human. And on this site we only tell people a bit about ourselves. So why people think they have the right to judge someone and say nasty things is beyond me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I never get to know anyone on this site.

I've always stayed away from the drama and bitchiness and other peoples issues about people... Jeez!

I'm here to swing and enjoy sex...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Fully agree with the sentiment OP. I was brought up to not say anything unless I had something nice or constructive to add. Unfortunately some people thrive on conflict and drama. Sad times x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s shocking how many don’t think before they say or hit the send button. I’ve had my fair share of comments messages made to me but lucky I’m thick skinned but it could be that one comment that can push someone to do something to themselves. I was brought up if ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say yes entitled to your say but have a think of it’s long term affect on someone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

Very nice boobs

Some kind words x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx

Very nice boobs

Some kind words x"

Great words xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people thrive on being nasty. After the weekend you’d think everyone would stop and think of the consequences of their words or actions. Sad times x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heffmMan
over a year ago

sheffield

yeh but I'm great though arent I

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us. "

Exactly this, does our nut in!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Fab is like other forms of social media and as such you get people who feel far braver to say things they wouldn’t say in person. These tend to be so insecure in themselves that they use abuse as a way to feel better about themselves ... once they are recognised as that then they are slightly easier to avoid. However their words can be very effective... and I’m going to generalise bit the majority are sad men

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Some people thrive on being nasty. After the weekend you’d think everyone would stop and think of the consequences of their words or actions. Sad times x "

Agree 100%.....!! Be friendly be kind...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "
forums unfortunately are about the diversity of opinion some people are very serious and although they think they debate well..... dont........ but carry on until it gets to the argumentative side, some are just very confrontational, some enjoy a laugh and some don't, i agree though if your opinion is logged in a negative way then maybe in some instances best to not contribute

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

And then there are the lovely people on here. Today alone I have witnessed and been active in supporting another forum user. There are some amazing people on here. Don't let the numpties be as memorable as the gems

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx forums unfortunately are about the diversity of opinion some people are very serious and although they think they debate well..... dont........ but carry on until it gets to the argumentative side, some are just very confrontational, some enjoy a laugh and some don't, i agree though if your opinion is logged in a negative way then maybe in some instances best to not contribute "

I agree with most of that but not the word unfortunately.

Thank God everyone is different with different ideas.

There's never any need for deliberate harm or nastiness though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"This is why I never get to know anyone on this site.

I've always stayed away from the drama and bitchiness and other peoples issues about people... Jeez!

I'm here to swing and enjoy sex... "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx forums unfortunately are about the diversity of opinion some people are very serious and although they think they debate well..... dont........ but carry on until it gets to the argumentative side, some are just very confrontational, some enjoy a laugh and some don't, i agree though if your opinion is logged in a negative way then maybe in some instances best to not contribute

I agree with most of that but not the word unfortunately.

Thank God everyone is different with different ideas.

There's never any need for deliberate harm or nastiness though. "

Agreed...

I say debate not argumentative!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here here OP!

There is always someone on here that finds it amusing to slag off others, one starts then the rest join in, mass bullying if you will!

I don’t stick up for anyone anymore, I have stuck up for someone in the past when all her ‘friends’ didn’t stand up to the bullying yet I got the bad name.

And that continues today with some nasty nasty comments.... it’s quite ironic seeing postings on here.

That’s my rant for the day....

Be kind to yourself today xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I think it's par for the course on a site like this, everybody wants to give the impression of being strong and dominant so they can get the biggest collection of potential partners.

Personally when I see someone doing it they go straight on block but I doubt that will bother them at all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and I want to add....

You often find that the bullies on here are the quietest of people in real life

That’s when you know you’re better x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

Unfortunately, these days just having an opposite opinion to someone is regarded as argumentative.

Or in fact just stating an obvious truth is tantamount to heresy.... in some circles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed op

Over the many years on here I’ve seen some people practically tear a person apart on here, for no reason whatsoever.

I’m quite forthright, however, I’m not mean.

Be mindful of what you say to others who have sheep’s clothing. Be mindful that you can trust the person you are conversing with.

Unfortunately, not everyone is your friend, even when they say they are. On here - in the ‘real’ world - be mindful.

There’s irony everywhere - even in some of these posts that have been so prolific recently.

I’ll leave that out there for those who don’t practice what they preach.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Unfortunately, these days just having an opposite opinion to someone is regarded as argumentative.

Or in fact just stating an obvious truth is tantamount to heresy.... in some circles.

"

That does happen as does some taking sideways swipes under the guise of good will , love and peace.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two years ago I was subjected to bullying on here. The veiled catty remarks, the posting directly underneath me and the constant little digs made me very upset. I've been catfished, ghosted, had my pics stolen and put on different sites, used for fake profiles etc. It all takes its toll. I don't trust anybody on here, won't join kik groups etc because some people just can't help themselves. I admit I'm not perfect but I'm not rude or aggressive to people, I was taught to have manners.

With all the doom and gloom going on in this world, the Forums, although for debate, should be fun. Treat everyone with the respect you want them to give you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed op

Over the many years on here I’ve seen some people practically tear a person apart on here, for no reason whatsoever.

I’m quite forthright, however, I’m not mean.

Be mindful of what you say to others who have sheep’s clothing. Be mindful that you can trust the person you are conversing with.

Unfortunately, not everyone is your friend, even when they say they are. On here - in the ‘real’ world - be mindful.

There’s irony everywhere - even in some of these posts that have been so prolific recently.

I’ll leave that out there for those who don’t practice what they preach. "

Much more eloquently put than my piece

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

There's only pity for humans that find warmth in being cold to other humans.

A block works pretty well too, I guess...

Also, stay cool, OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

Totally agree, but got trolled on s post on Sunday for saying similar

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I appreciate all the comments. I shall continue to be positive and nice in such a cruel world xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Agreed op

Over the many years on here I’ve seen some people practically tear a person apart on here, for no reason whatsoever.

I’m quite forthright, however, I’m not mean.

Be mindful of what you say to others who have sheep’s clothing. Be mindful that you can trust the person you are conversing with.

Unfortunately, not everyone is your friend, even when they say they are. On here - in the ‘real’ world - be mindful.

There’s irony everywhere - even in some of these posts that have been so prolific recently.

I’ll leave that out there for those who don’t practice what they preach.

Much more eloquently put than my piece "

Yours was very well put

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's only pity for humans that find warmth in being cold to other humans.

A block works pretty well too, I guess...

Also, stay cool, OP. "

Blocks don’t work in the forums though, that’s where the majority of the bullying occurs!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's only pity for humans that find warmth in being cold to other humans.

A block works pretty well too, I guess...

Also, stay cool, OP.

Blocks don’t work in the forums though, that’s where the majority of the bullying occurs!"

But the bkocks should work, you shouldn't have to rub shoulders with people you've blocked, I can't think of many media sites we're this happens? It's wrong.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"There's only pity for humans that find warmth in being cold to other humans.

A block works pretty well too, I guess...

Also, stay cool, OP.

Blocks don’t work in the forums though, that’s where the majority of the bullying occurs!

But the bkocks should work, you shouldn't have to rub shoulders with people you've blocked, I can't think of many media sites we're this happens? It's wrong. "

Blocks only stop direct contact rather.

They don't stop a person responding to a post.

I simply try not to get dragged into things and to disagree politely. If I think someone is being nasty, report them.

Sadly there will always be bullies. If I feel unfairly treated, I ignore, report and block as I see fit.

It's much easier to be horrible online than face to face.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!"

Agreed!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I appreciate all the comments. I shall continue to be positive and nice in such a cruel world xx"

Don't let the idiots spoil it. Sometimes a day or two offline is good for a soul.

Most of us are nice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

There are a lot more nicer people on here than there are horrible. The support I've seen and felt is uplifting. It's a pity the few nasty ones stick in the mind more than the nice ones x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

Spot on. #BeKind in all you say or do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx

Very nice boobs

Some kind words x

Great words xx"

Come chat kitty I’m near you and lots more nice things to say x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in! "

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in!

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to "

Can none of you see the irony in your words?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in!

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to

Can none of you see the irony in your words? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in!

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to

Can none of you see the irony in your words? "

Nope, care to explain?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!"

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in!

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to

Can none of you see the irony in your words?

Nope, care to explain? "

The thread is titled "say something nice".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though "

We did and was ignored by Admin.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though

We did and was ignored by Admin. "

If you don't receive a response it normally means they uphold the original decision

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though "

I got given a holiday because I said that a certain member "from what I'd heard you're not a nice person".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also find some on here think they’re way above everyone else, just by reading their status it seems they think they are better than the rest of us.

Exactly this, does our nut in!

It’s the attention they crave and when they don’t get it they still comment on it, never ending cycle sadly, best just to leave them to it, there are more deserving people on here to give our time and support to

Can none of you see the irony in your words?

Nope, care to explain?

The thread is titled "say something nice". "

I did say something nice, I agreed and backed up what someone was saying.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though

We did and was ignored by Admin.

If you don't receive a response it normally means they uphold the original decision "

Yes, but doesn't mean its correct when it was defending sobe one being bullied

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though

We did and was ignored by Admin.

If you don't receive a response it normally means they uphold the original decision

Yes, but doesn't mean its correct when it was defending sobe one being bullied "

Disputing a moderators decision on the forum is against forum rules too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/20 13:41:50]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Removed by poster at 18/02/20 13:41:50]"

I saw that!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

If you think you've been banned unfairly contact Admin and ask them to review.

Sticking up for people doesn't mean you can break forum rules to do it though

We did and was ignored by Admin. "

Sadly it seems that people can be as racist, homophobic or transphobic as they like and get away with it, but if you call them out on it or defend the people its aimed at then it will infact be you that gets sent to the naughty step and not the perpetrators.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners "

Westerners ? Where are you from ?

The phrase : ' if you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all' isn't or wasn't used as portrayed here.

It was generally used by parents and teachers to get children to think before they say hurtful things.

I find it a bit peculiar when used against adults who should be able to temper their own moods and censor their own speech and be able to speak honestly when asked an opinion.

There's a chasm of difference between 'honesty' and lack of tact. One is often used as an excuse for the other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this thread reminds me of one of Caroline Flacks' tweets" In a world you can be anything you want to be, be kind".

It costs nothing and makes the world a nicer place for all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I like your boomerang.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like your boomerang."

Thank you, but it is so true, I think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

Westerners ? Where are you from ?

The phrase : ' if you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all' isn't or wasn't used as portrayed here.

It was generally used by parents and teachers to get children to think before they say hurtful things.

I find it a bit peculiar when used against adults who should be able to temper their own moods and censor their own speech and be able to speak honestly when asked an opinion.

There's a chasm of difference between 'honesty' and lack of tact. One is often used as an excuse for the other.

"

Oh, ok - thanks for that explanation And in answer to your - "Where are you from?", my birth mother was Japanese/Burmese, my birth Father was Nigerian and my adoptive parents are Israeli Jews, so I was born in the USA, moved to Japan when I was 2 then to Israel when I was 18. A year ago I bought a place in Colorado, USA. So I'm kind of from many places

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am actually jealous for the first time in a long time.

Well envious.......

Thanks for sharing bongo.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am actually jealous for the first time in a long time.

Well envious.......

Thanks for sharing bongo."

You are welcome, but jealous of what?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am actually jealous for the first time in a long time.

Well envious.......

Thanks for sharing bongo.

You are welcome, but jealous of what?"

Sorry, envious of what?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is a massive element that people can say what they want because they hide behind their keyboard. How many of these awful people would say this to your face.

I too have been subjected to nasty comments and name calling just because I politely declined their interest.

It's so much easier to be nice. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

"

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine."

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a glorious degree of keyboard warriors online.

Dont get me wrong though, anonimity can provide the confidence of expression... but it can also work the other way.

Always worth a thought I think.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

Westerners ? Where are you from ?

The phrase : ' if you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all' isn't or wasn't used as portrayed here.

It was generally used by parents and teachers to get children to think before they say hurtful things.

I find it a bit peculiar when used against adults who should be able to temper their own moods and censor their own speech and be able to speak honestly when asked an opinion.

There's a chasm of difference between 'honesty' and lack of tact. One is often used as an excuse for the other.

"

Yes! I could not agree with this anymore. It is amazingly accurate.

In fact the way it gets used these days is in fact overused and as you say strangely used.

Even more so now that people can take offense to anything you say, it's best to say what is honest, but worded not to avoid causing offense but to just be polite, courteous.

Ive said it before, it matters very little what you say but the intent of it, and the way it is said that should make a difference.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

"

Would be interested to know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

Westerners ? Where are you from ?

The phrase : ' if you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all' isn't or wasn't used as portrayed here.

It was generally used by parents and teachers to get children to think before they say hurtful things.

I find it a bit peculiar when used against adults who should be able to temper their own moods and censor their own speech and be able to speak honestly when asked an opinion.

There's a chasm of difference between 'honesty' and lack of tact. One is often used as an excuse for the other.

Yes! I could not agree with this anymore. It is amazingly accurate.

In fact the way it gets used these days is in fact overused and as you say strangely used.

Even more so now that people can take offense to anything you say, it's best to say what is honest, but worded not to avoid causing offense but to just be polite, courteous.

Ive said it before, it matters very little what you say but the intent of it, and the way it is said that should make a difference."

Marry me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know "

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?"

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night. "

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners "

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?"

Hey that's a good idea , I don't like shutting her out of rooms. Do cats get separation anxiety, she's hates us going out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

"

You're going to get that anywhere, unfortunately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

"

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?

Hey that's a good idea , I don't like shutting her out of rooms. Do cats get separation anxiety, she's hates us going out

"

I think they do to an extent. When I got home I was wearing 6 cats for a week. Do you ever leave music or TV on when you go out?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?

Hey that's a good idea , I don't like shutting her out of rooms. Do cats get separation anxiety, she's hates us going out

I think they do to an extent. When I got home I was wearing 6 cats for a week. Do you ever leave music or TV on when you go out?"

Haha I can imagine! I haven't but that's an idea. I put my coat on and she lays on my boots to try and stop me putting them on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though "

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though "

Cosy bubbles are.....cosy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. "
,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

Westerners ? Where are you from ?

The phrase : ' if you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all' isn't or wasn't used as portrayed here.

It was generally used by parents and teachers to get children to think before they say hurtful things.

I find it a bit peculiar when used against adults who should be able to temper their own moods and censor their own speech and be able to speak honestly when asked an opinion.

There's a chasm of difference between 'honesty' and lack of tact. One is often used as an excuse for the other.

"

Emphasis on the “should”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?

Hey that's a good idea , I don't like shutting her out of rooms. Do cats get separation anxiety, she's hates us going out

I think they do to an extent. When I got home I was wearing 6 cats for a week. Do you ever leave music or TV on when you go out?

Haha I can imagine! I haven't but that's an idea. I put my coat on and she lays on my boots to try and stop me putting them on "

At least she doesn't leave little "gifts" in your boots

About 8 months ago when I left on my travels my suitcase started to move on the seat beside me. Nkosi (the Father cat) had sneaked in without me noticing. I had to drive 30 km to take him home

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties "

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

My apologies to hijack the thread, but how is Molly cat?

Hello

She's better now. She had blood in her urine again, but it cleared up with her medication. I think it is stress related, as the vet said. There's this massive cat come in the garden at night

and she sees it through the patio doors, she throws herself against the doors. So we keep her out of those rooms at night.

I am glad to hear she is better Is it worth temporarily putting some paper or card at the bottom of the patio doors? Molly won't be able to see the intruder, and the intruder might get bored of not seeing anything interesting and stay away?

Hey that's a good idea , I don't like shutting her out of rooms. Do cats get separation anxiety, she's hates us going out

I think they do to an extent. When I got home I was wearing 6 cats for a week. Do you ever leave music or TV on when you go out?

Haha I can imagine! I haven't but that's an idea. I put my coat on and she lays on my boots to try and stop me putting them on

At least she doesn't leave little "gifts" in your boots

About 8 months ago when I left on my travels my suitcase started to move on the seat beside me. Nkosi (the Father cat) had sneaked in without me noticing. I had to drive 30 km to take him home "

Hahaha

oh bless him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Totally agree,i think its a shame people need to be told to be nice to others.

We never know what is going on in a persons life and a kind word may mean so much.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!! "

Anything else you want to get off your gorgeous chest Kitty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. "

I agree. I find it difficult to read nuances in English conversations though. If I say "that's a nice tie", that's what I mean. By adding an inflection to the spoken sentence, it can make it sarcastic. I struggle with that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!! "
,

Well I'm glad you feel better now, my lovely, just remember they are sad people, with nothing better to do x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!!

Anything else you want to get off your gorgeous chest Kitty "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!! ,

Well I'm glad you feel better now, my lovely, just remember they are sad people, with nothing better to do x"

Kisses to you xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


""If you can’t say anything nice do not say anything at all."

I had never heard this phase, or equivalent, before I started learning English. I'm not sure that I agree with it. It seems to be an attempt at stifling speech. The closest where I'm from is translated to "If you must speak, speak honestly". I think that may be why I come across as a bit blunt to Westerners

I am not talking about the OP but some on here label anybody with an alternative view as argumentative. Some seem to go into meltdown over anything outside their cosy bubble. If they are snowflakes then the collective term on fab is that there is a whole blizzard of them.

I can empathise with the "cosy bubble" though - the world is a big, and mostly, I have to say - an inhospitable place. I am hoping to achieve a cosy bubble myself when I finish working. I do not think I will ever stop speaking honestly though

Oh I definitely think you should be honest in life but there are ways of saying things. The reason I say “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” is not because I don’t think people should not be honest or voice their own opinions. But I do think people should think before they put into words comments that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings. I’m talking nasty/ unacceptable name calling just because you don’t agree with an opinion or belittling people. ,

Had the same on here, I just think it's their problem rather than mine . The amount of nice people on the forums, far outweighs the nasties

I do agree with you that the nice fat outweighs the nasty! But I was just venting this morning as had a bad weekend with it, which continued into today!!! I feel better for getting it all off my chest!! ,

Well I'm glad you feel better now, my lovely, just remember they are sad people, with nothing better to do x

Kisses to you xx"
,

Xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

I read the forums more then I comment these days, But like most social media sites FB Twitter etc You will never meet 99% of the people making the comments, Its just strangers putting there point across good or bad, I take what they say with a pinch of salt

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I appreciate all the comments. I shall continue to be positive and nice in such a cruel world xx

Don't let the idiots spoil it. Sometimes a day or two offline is good for a soul.

Most of us are nice "

Yes at last someone types this...

Take a break from the content and switch off!

YOU get control!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been on here a few times but never really used the forums. Like any Social Media I guess it’s open to abuse. I had a message recently slagging me off for my user name. From a grown man. I’ve been called a time waster because I can’t do spontaneous meets, so much so that I’ve had to explain why on my profile.

Unfortunately modern technology and society has made a platform for everyone to say what they want, under the guise of “speaking their mind”. The old saying about sticks and stones never prepared us for cyber bullying. Often anonymous people who simply want to bring others down. I totally agree OP, #BeKind

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve been on here a few times but never really used the forums. Like any Social Media I guess it’s open to abuse. I had a message recently slagging me off for my user name. From a grown man. I’ve been called a time waster because I can’t do spontaneous meets, so much so that I’ve had to explain why on my profile.

Unfortunately modern technology and society has made a platform for everyone to say what they want, under the guise of “speaking their mind”. The old saying about sticks and stones never prepared us for cyber bullying. Often anonymous people who simply want to bring others down. I totally agree OP, #BeKind "

I think it’s a great username!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/20 17:05:53]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve been on here a few times but never really used the forums. Like any Social Media I guess it’s open to abuse. I had a message recently slagging me off for my user name. From a grown man. I’ve been called a time waster because I can’t do spontaneous meets, so much so that I’ve had to explain why on my profile.

Unfortunately modern technology and society has made a platform for everyone to say what they want, under the guise of “speaking their mind”. The old saying about sticks and stones never prepared us for cyber bullying. Often anonymous people who simply want to bring others down. I totally agree OP, #BeKind

I think it’s a great username!! "

Thank you, but this is a new one. A kinder person gave me a reason to chance the old one, in a more adult way. He didn’t even call me a w****r lol. It’s all supposed to be a play on the PAN thing lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love both. Nice comments and harsh ones. So go for it ! Roast me ppl

I need balance in my life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love both. Nice comments and harsh ones. So go for it ! Roast me ppl

I need balance in my life "

I’d love to roast you!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know "

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

"

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing that. I am quite dark skinned, not sure where that comes from, albeit my Dad is too. A dentist from many years ago thought I may be of Egyptian descent, he can tell by the gums?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing that. I am quite dark skinned, not sure where that comes from, albeit my Dad is too. A dentist from many years ago thought I may be of Egyptian descent, he can tell by the gums?!

"
omg can you play squash

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

People are cruel which is why i prefer dogs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales


"Stopped sticking up for people on here as it just gets you banned too even though you report it, crazy!

Agreed!"

Yes. I’m still on licence

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing that. I am quite dark skinned, not sure where that comes from, albeit my Dad is too. A dentist from many years ago thought I may be of Egyptian descent, he can tell by the gums?!

omg can you play squash "
,

Only if I fall on you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing that. I am quite dark skinned, not sure where that comes from, albeit my Dad is too. A dentist from many years ago thought I may be of Egyptian descent, he can tell by the gums?!

omg can you play squash ,

Only if I fall on you! "
god i read that as youve fell for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"your mixed race your cultural experiences and travel ......

To be honest, being mixed-race can be a burden depending on where in the world I'm working - I get quite a bit of racism around the Middle East but apart from that, my life is all I knew until I met my extended Japanese family. I rather envy their sense of belonging to a community/Nationality. I also envy my Israeli family's history and traditions because I know so little about mine.

-I'm a mixture of a lot of things too.

Would be interested to know

Russian & Indian & a small amount of Mongolian.

I get people on here looking for mixed race guys that think I'm half black, but as far as I know I have no African ancestry..but I've never done one of those extensive DNA tests..

Very interesting! Thank you for sharing that. I am quite dark skinned, not sure where that comes from, albeit my Dad is too. A dentist from many years ago thought I may be of Egyptian descent, he can tell by the gums?!

omg can you play squash ,

Only if I fall on you! god i read that as youve fell for me "

Haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx "

Totally agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not say anything at all. Gunna have a rant as I have not been on Fab long. But met some nice guys and had some amazing chats with people and hoping to meet many more and join some socials and clubs.

But I have been witness and verbally attacked on more than one occasion in forums. I’m no Fab expert but I am human and I kind of feel that if you have an opinion on someone that you think might not come across well don’t type it out for that person and the world to see.

I’m thick skinned and can take a lot but in light of someone taking their life in the public eye due to people typing their opinions on her maybe we should all have a little think before you hit send on that keyboard.

I am a positive person and always try to see the good and I will continue to voice that in the forum despite the sometimes spiteful comments.

So point I’m getting at is please be kind with your words people xx

Totally agree "

Hear hear

Im about positivity all the way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top