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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve just seen someone who is a ‘ Facebook Friend ‘ post

“ coming off Facebook for a while, contemplating suicide “

He’s getting lots of attention

“ hugs mate “

“ hope your ok “

Type comments

Is it wrong I’m thinking

“ Time and a place, attention seeking “

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Or maybe 'a cry for help'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Complex issue. If I had a friend who posted that. I’d given them a call right away ask them if they wanted to grab a coffee after work.

As you say. Sometimes it’s for attention. Even then the fact someone is needing to post that to get attention indicates there is an issue.

I guess it’s like when people ring emergency services as a hoax. They have to check it out because the risk of the potiential outcome is worse than the risk of a potiential hoax.

Hindsight is amazing but often then too late.

I don’t think you’re bad for thinking it. But also I wouldn’t post it.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

To me it would be a cry for help and I would be contacting my friend for a chat.

Whilst there are people who do it for attention seeking. It doesn’t take much effort to see if they are ok anyway

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

If you dont like it then ignore it.

If hes a friend however then maybe you should reach out.

We dont ever know what others are going through, compassion costs nothing.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"If you dont like it then ignore it.

If hes a friend however then maybe you should reach out.

We dont ever know what others are going through, compassion costs nothing."

.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you dont like it then ignore it.

If hes a friend however then maybe you should reach out.

We dont ever know what others are going through, compassion costs nothing."

This!

He could be looking for attention, as in attention from a friend because he needs someone to talk to. Maybe he felt it was only option? Reach out

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you dont like it then ignore it.

If hes a friend however then maybe you should reach out.

We dont ever know what others are going through, compassion costs nothing."

Totally agree

I put ‘ Facebook friend ‘ meaning someone I don’t really know well but are friends on there

We all have them

He lives in Australia ( should have explained better )

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By *heekyredsoloWoman
over a year ago

bromborough

With the recent events in the media over the weekend, it will have triggered a lot of emotions for people...

Only the person that wrote the message knows how they are feeling, to me they sound lost and alone... For me I would reach out and check in with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just seen someone who is a ‘ Facebook Friend ‘ post

“ coming off Facebook for a while, contemplating suicide “

He’s getting lots of attention

“ hugs mate “

“ hope your ok “

Type comments

Is it wrong I’m thinking

“ Time and a place, attention seeking “ "

Sign of the times. If I’m virtually existing online- then I’ll post my personal feelings online too. I would always reach out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some need the attention .... whatever reason for going that far on there, they clearly need help

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’d be sat worrying about him!

And if they are far away it makes things worse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d be sat worrying about him!

And if they are far away it makes things worse "

He’s in Australia

He has a lovely wife

I’ve messaged him privately

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's often the ones who don't say anything that are the real suicide risk, those who to everyone outside of their own thoughts are fine. Still check on them though, everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can act in a variety of ways because of mental health support this person tell them to contact their gp or Samaritans etc you can support people until they you are blue in the face but at the end of the day that person has to accept the help self pity and rumination can be a killer

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone tells you or anybody that they are contemplating suicide it should never be treated lightly. The first thing to do is ask if they have a plan, if they say they do they need immediate help. Never ignore or treat such a thing lightly.

Let's get something else straight too. Attention seeking is not a bad thing. Sometimes people desperately need it. They need someone to pay them some attention, to ask them what's wrong, help them with life.

I know some people will say things for effect but I'd rather take 100 such things seriously and be proved wrong than attend the funeral of one suicide victim.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Sometimes people are desperate for someone to be in their corner, they will use Facebook etc to do this. It's absolutely devastating to be left by someone who committed suicide but I know in my heart I did absolutely everything I could to support my friend even if sometimes I felt he was playing on my emotions.

It costs nothing but time to reach out. I hope your friend feels stronger soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes people are desperate for someone to be in their corner, they will use Facebook etc to do this. It's absolutely devastating to be left by someone who committed suicide but I know in my heart I did absolutely everything I could to support my friend even if sometimes I felt he was playing on my emotions.

It costs nothing but time to reach out. I hope your friend feels stronger soon."

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone tells you or anybody that they are contemplating suicide it should never be treated lightly. The first thing to do is ask if they have a plan, if they say they do they need immediate help. Never ignore or treat such a thing lightly.

Let's get something else straight too. Attention seeking is not a bad thing. Sometimes people desperately need it. They need someone to pay them some attention, to ask them what's wrong, help them with life.

I know some people will say things for effect but I'd rather take 100 such things seriously and be proved wrong than attend the funeral of one suicide victim."

This!

I had to call the police a couple of months ago after a worrying phone call with a friend. We don't live in the same county so I couldn't get to him, I tried contacting friends that were closer and he told them the same thing then turned his phone off. Thankfully the police tracked him down and he's okay. He wants happy about being looked for by the police at the time but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to save someone's life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone tells you or anybody that they are contemplating suicide it should never be treated lightly. The first thing to do is ask if they have a plan, if they say they do they need immediate help. Never ignore or treat such a thing lightly.

Let's get something else straight too. Attention seeking is not a bad thing. Sometimes people desperately need it. They need someone to pay them some attention, to ask them what's wrong, help them with life.

I know some people will say things for effect but I'd rather take 100 such things seriously and be proved wrong than attend the funeral of one suicide victim.

This!

I had to call the police a couple of months ago after a worrying phone call with a friend. We don't live in the same county so I couldn't get to him, I tried contacting friends that were closer and he told them the same thing then turned his phone off. Thankfully the police tracked him down and he's okay. He wants happy about being looked for by the police at the time but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to save someone's life"

*wasn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's wrong with attention seeking, even if this is a "false alarm"?

We all need to be *seen* once in a while, or none of us would be here spouting our opinionated crap. Not everybody is lucky enough to have a bulletproof ego, and like it or not we all need validation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also if you're suicidal where is the time and the place?

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Facebook gets a lot of stick - and often rightly so, for various reasons - not least because a lot of what goes on there can be very misleading or shallow.

However, despite the oft-derided notion of Facebook 'friends' who may, in reality, be people you worked with decades ago that you'll never see again or a passing acquaintance you really don't know that much about, fact is that for those without a readily available real life support network of family and friends they can call in the certain knowledge they'll get a supportive and sympathetic response, the tenuous connections they have with others on Facebook may be the *only* outlet they have for contacting real human beings (as opposed to anonymous services such as the Samaritans).

Hence anyone spotting a post like that should err on the side of caution, and compassion, in my opinion. It'd be naiive to suggest that attention seekers and drama llamas don't exist of course but I'd rather a false alarm than later find someone in distress hadn't been acknowledged. My gut feeling is that anyone baring their soul publicly like that would probably have reached the end of their tether to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just seen someone who is a ‘ Facebook Friend ‘ post

“ coming off Facebook for a while, contemplating suicide “

He’s getting lots of attention

“ hugs mate “

“ hope your ok “

Type comments

Is it wrong I’m thinking

“ Time and a place, attention seeking “ "

Yeah it's wrong what you are thinking, it may be a genuine cry for help and his well being may be at risk. Maybe you should reach out to this person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this. He posted it late at night. Some saw it and ignored. Most, including me, didn’t see it until the next morning, by which time he was hanging dead in his bedroom. Please don’t ever ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe if that's what you feel, you need to ask why they are added as a friend on FB?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's not attention seeking in the same way as a dramatic attention seeker would do. It is certainly a cry for help on some level, and in that way attention seeking. The type of attention that is needed.

Generally those (always exceptions) who announce that they are going to do something are not likely at that point in time to do anything to harm themselves. However they certainly should be checked on as no matter how serious they actually are being the thought for them is there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To summarise:

There's no situation where being kind is the wrong thing to do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It's not attention seeking in the same way as a dramatic attention seeker would do. It is certainly a cry for help on some level, and in that way attention seeking. The type of attention that is needed.

Generally those (always exceptions) who announce that they are going to do something are not likely at that point in time to do anything to harm themselves. However they certainly should be checked on as no matter how serious they actually are being the thought for them is there. "

I have personal knowledge of someone who told people they were going to commit suicide and then tried (unsuccessfully thank god) to carry out their plan. That's why I said up thread that it someone tells you they're contemplating suicide ask if they have a plan.

I also have personal knowledge of someone who told no one and carried out their plan successfully.

Please never assume that because someone has said they're going to kill themselves that they don't intend to go through with it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"To summarise:

There's no situation where being kind is the wrong thing to do. "

ain't that the truth!

Sometimes though being quite tough with a person is the only kind thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To summarise:

There's no situation where being kind is the wrong thing to do.

ain't that the truth!

Sometimes though being quite tough with a person is the only kind thing to do"

Actually that's very true. Some people need the cold truth to help them process and move forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe 'a cry for help'"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/20 11:39:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's hope hes got the "attention" hes looking for in just the right time

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