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Your Fab modus operandi...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

I have no game so I wing it

Meaning I don't often message ha

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Number 2

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2 "

A risk taker then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have no game so I wing it

Meaning I don't often message ha "

Time to develop your personal strategy then do you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to find something in the profile that has led you to reach out.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Definitely 2, it all depends how the conversation starts and then letting it flow naturally

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

I usually shoehorn the dialogue to be all about me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Try to find something in the profile that has led you to reach out. "

Is it always something similar?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I usually shoehorn the dialogue to be all about me..."

Yep. I believe that 100%. Hey but it seems to work for you so all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 2.

With a bit of self deprecating compliment fishing too (but dont tell anyone)

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By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim

I haven’t messaged a vast amount of people but when I do. I’m always polite, pay that person (or persons if it’s a Couple) a compliment usually regarding what has been written on their Profile and of course their Photos. Generally never include anything sexual in an opening message, never attach any photos unless requested on the Profile and I always include/mention something that has been written on their profile. Then simply ask how they are or if they had a good day/weekend etc

Then, literally just hope for the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely 2, it all depends how the conversation starts and then letting it flow naturally "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always a reason I would of messaged so start with that and let the conversation flow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2.

With a bit of self deprecating compliment fishing too (but dont tell anyone)"

I think you’re gorgeous

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

1. In that I seek compatibility. I will pursue the answers I seek to judge whether we have enough compatibility to meet regularly.

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales


"I have no game so I wing it

Meaning I don't often message ha

Time to develop your personal strategy then do you think?"

My anxiety and overthinking prevent any strategy unfortunately

So I play on the forums hoping for my personality to shine instead haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I haven’t messaged a vast amount of people but when I do. I’m always polite, pay that person (or persons if it’s a Couple) a compliment usually regarding what has been written on their Profile and of course their Photos. Generally never include anything sexual in an opening message, never attach any photos unless requested on the Profile and I always include/mention something that has been written on their profile. Then simply ask how they are or if they had a good day/weekend etc

Then, literally just hope for the best "

So you have developed your plan of action. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's always a reason I would of messaged so start with that and let the conversation flow. "

Is it always a similar one or different?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens"

Fits your hippy personality Sparkles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find all it all the same really. Obviously there are a few differences from person to person but generally the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens"

This ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 2.

With a bit of self deprecating compliment fishing too (but dont tell anyone)

I think you’re gorgeous "

Oh little old me? I am ol I guess but far from gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"1. In that I seek compatibility. I will pursue the answers I seek to judge whether we have enough compatibility to meet regularly."

Very thoughtful answer and one that many follow I believe...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens"

I struggle to go with the flow online...maybe that's why I haven't connected with anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find all it all the same really. Obviously there are a few differences from person to person but generally the same. "

I KNOW you have a certain type

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By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

The opening messages tends to be similar, as its an introduction, unless there is something specific mentioned on the profile I am messaging.

Then the conversation go where it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's always a reason I would of messaged so start with that and let the conversation flow.

Is it always a similar one or different?"

Usually something in their profile that has caught my eye. Could be an interest, the fact it made me giggle, something I'm intrigued about it I just think they are hot and will tell them so

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Simple as I don't send first messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2.

With a bit of self deprecating compliment fishing too (but dont tell anyone)

I think you’re gorgeous

Oh little old me? I am ol I guess but far from gorgeous "

My personal preference then

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I’d probably say a mixture of the two OP

Usually starts off with 1. Following the usual fab chat stuff but, then I find some are perhaps capable of a half decent conversation covering all manner of topics

I tend to let the 1. Trail off and continue with the 2.

I’m not good with small talk that revolves solely around fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens

I struggle to go with the flow online...maybe that's why I haven't connected with anyone "

You sweetheart get bored if they don’t have banter...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The opening messages tends to be similar, as its an introduction, unless there is something specific mentioned on the profile I am messaging.

Then the conversation go where it goes."

Hybrid then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 2.

With a bit of self deprecating compliment fishing too (but dont tell anyone)

I think you’re gorgeous

Oh little old me? I am ol I guess but far from gorgeous

My personal preference then "

I'll take that x

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Definitely No.2

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Simple as I don't send first messages. "

Oh that’s such a shame! I love catching people by surprise.

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"1. In that I seek compatibility. I will pursue the answers I seek to judge whether we have enough compatibility to meet regularly.

Very thoughtful answer and one that many follow I believe..."

When I am actively looking on here, I seek something very specific, so my messages will always be geared towards seeking the specific compatibility I seek.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"Number 2

A risk taker then?"

Ohh totally.. nothing more risky than treating a lady as an individual in conversation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d probably say a mixture of the two OP

Usually starts off with 1. Following the usual fab chat stuff but, then I find some are perhaps capable of a half decent conversation covering all manner of topics

I tend to let the 1. Trail off and continue with the 2.

I’m not good with small talk that revolves solely around fab"

Clever strategy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?"

2. Completely random, much like the process that goes on in my brain on a daily basis

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely No.2 "

Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I don’t message people unless it’s a forum game, so this applies if people message me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2

A risk taker then?

Ohh totally.. nothing more risky than treating a lady as an individual in conversation "

You play with fire

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

If I'm messaging first then that message is just for them. I will have read their profile a few times or if they're a forumite, I've been working them out there as well so I'll know what to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try to find something in the profile that has led you to reach out.

Is it always something similar?"

No. I do try to be original and where I can tongue in cheek.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2. Completely random, much like the process that goes on in my brain on a daily basis "

I believe that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2. Completely random, much like the process that goes on in my brain on a daily basis

I believe that "

Well, you have met me

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"Number 2

A risk taker then?

Ohh totally.. nothing more risky than treating a lady as an individual in conversation

You play with fire "

Makes you feel alive

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree


"Definitely No.2

Hello "

How’s Spotify treating you?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens

I struggle to go with the flow online...maybe that's why I haven't connected with anyone "

The thing is you don't control going with the flow though - it controls you, and leads the way - you just have to let go of there being any set agenda or structure or fretting that there hasn't been a reply to your last message.

It's very much a whatever will be will be approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I'm messaging first then that message is just for them. I will have read their profile a few times or if they're a forumite, I've been working them out there as well so I'll know what to say

"

Still waiting...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely No.2

Hello

How’s Spotify treating you? "

I adore you and love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have one - just go with the flow and see where it leads - sometimes things will fizzle naturally, sometimes conversation will flow and find a rhythm, connection and chemistry will build and everything goes from there, other times it'll be an occasional exchange of messages over time

There really is no rhyme or reason, or even forethought to it, it just happens as it happens

I struggle to go with the flow online...maybe that's why I haven't connected with anyone

The thing is you don't control going with the flow though - it controls you, and leads the way - you just have to let go of there being any set agenda or structure or fretting that there hasn't been a reply to your last message.

It's very much a whatever will be will be approach "

oh no I am a control freak!

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By *igchilledguyMan
over a year ago

North Leeds

Find it quite easy really. I just write something interesting, intelligent, tailored to the recipient, definitely not run-of-the-mill or "hi-how-you-doing," friendly, non-pushy, charming and sexy. Never realised it was so simple...

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By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim


"I haven’t messaged a vast amount of people but when I do. I’m always polite, pay that person (or persons if it’s a Couple) a compliment usually regarding what has been written on their Profile and of course their Photos. Generally never include anything sexual in an opening message, never attach any photos unless requested on the Profile and I always include/mention something that has been written on their profile. Then simply ask how they are or if they had a good day/weekend etc

Then, literally just hope for the best

So you have developed your plan of action. Good luck "

Thank you, Incandescent! I may need it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just look at pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Find it quite easy really. I just write something interesting, intelligent, tailored to the recipient, definitely not run-of-the-mill or "hi-how-you-doing," friendly, non-pushy, charming and sexy. Never realised it was so simple... "

It’s not. You must have a talent

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures"

No message?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo."

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?"

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles. "

Yes. I’ve noticed this but when they ask me what they should add to their profile to make them more interesting it’s difficult to give them more than just generic advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting "

So you use the ‘playing hard to get’ stategy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?"

On here generally yes, however I have had some lengthy conversations with people and sex has barely been mentioned.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?"

Not always no

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?

On here generally yes, however I have had some lengthy conversations with people and sex has barely been mentioned."

Well that’s refreshing to hear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting

So you use the ‘playing hard to get’ stategy?"

Haha no, I just find being a single man, the chances of getting anything on this site are about a million to 1. So I don’t bother . There are far easier ways

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By *nto My ArmsMan
over a year ago

Herts/London

Modus operandi? Una lingua numquam satis est.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting

So you use the ‘playing hard to get’ stategy?

Haha no, I just find being a single man, the chances of getting anything on this site are about a million to 1. So I don’t bother . There are far easier ways"

So why ‘waste’ your time here?

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?"

Depends on the person you are talking to for me. You could talk to someone for months and they don’t hit the mark or one message from someone else is enough and does more than others

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Modus operandi? Una lingua numquam satis est. "

Hush. Just go with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?

On here generally yes, however I have had some lengthy conversations with people and sex has barely been mentioned.

Well that’s refreshing to hear "

I think it depends on the mood of people, swinging is also a social activity after all, I'm sure my profile actually states that it's not just about sex, sometimes it's great to just chat about other things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

Depends on the person you are talking to for me. You could talk to someone for months and they don’t hit the mark or one message from someone else is enough and does more than others "

So another one for number 2?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not "

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read the profile and my message is tailored to that. If there are veris shown I'll read them as well and look at who they've met previously as you can get a good idea of whether you're likely to be their type, or not.

Basically, I'll do my 'homework', if a woman seems to be meeting young ripped lads there's not much likelihood she'll be interested in me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting

So you use the ‘playing hard to get’ stategy?

Haha no, I just find being a single man, the chances of getting anything on this site are about a million to 1. So I don’t bother . There are far easier ways

So why ‘waste’ your time here?"

Because it’s intriguing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither option for me. 90% of messages I send first either get read and deleted. Or not read at all.

I don’t get messages first unless it’s to do with forum games etc

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

Depends on the person you are talking to for me. You could talk to someone for months and they don’t hit the mark or one message from someone else is enough and does more than others

So another one for number 2?"

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always read the profile and my message is tailored to that. If there are veris shown I'll read them as well and look at who they've met previously as you can get a good idea of whether you're likely to be their type, or not.

Basically, I'll do my 'homework', if a woman seems to be meeting young ripped lads there's not much likelihood she'll be interested in me?"

Oooh. Info gatherer. How’s that working for you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just look at pictures

No message?

I will occasionally message to say if I think they are stunning, but not with the intention of meeting

So you use the ‘playing hard to get’ stategy?

Haha no, I just find being a single man, the chances of getting anything on this site are about a million to 1. So I don’t bother . There are far easier ways

So why ‘waste’ your time here?

Because it’s intriguing"

What is?

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By *LOVEpinacoladasWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles. "

This! I'm proactive at sending first messages, and like to personalise them. But if there's not text it's pretty bloody obvious it's just a looks/lust thing. So I make an attempt to open up a conversation - you realise in a few messages if there's going to be a connection or not.

In longer conversations there's a few things I'd like to establish, but I also want to get a sense of playfulness/personality/good rapport so it can't follow a template. And I often go off on completely bizarre tangents which I'm sure scares some folk off...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Neither option for me. 90% of messages I send first either get read and deleted. Or not read at all.

I don’t get messages first unless it’s to do with forum games etc "

Focus on the 10% then

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

Depends on the person you are talking to for me. You could talk to someone for months and they don’t hit the mark or one message from someone else is enough and does more than others

So another one for number 2?

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same "

So you have some standard messages prepared then?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

2.

We like to think of everyone we contact as individuals

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Mostly No2 because I’m random and just chat for banter and rapport more than trying to steer it to sex. That said, I’ve had sex with far more women from chatting playing Words With Friends than I have from this site. Go figure...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles.

This! I'm proactive at sending first messages, and like to personalise them. But if there's not text it's pretty bloody obvious it's just a looks/lust thing. So I make an attempt to open up a conversation - you realise in a few messages if there's going to be a connection or not.

In longer conversations there's a few things I'd like to establish, but I also want to get a sense of playfulness/personality/good rapport so it can't follow a template. And I often go off on completely bizarre tangents which I'm sure scares some folk off..."

Love your answer

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Oh I’m all over the place in my conversations. I do seem to chat about all sorts. I don’t have a plan, I just go with the flow

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2.

We like to think of everyone we contact as individuals"

Wouldn’t believe anything less coming from you

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

Depends on the person you are talking to for me. You could talk to someone for months and they don’t hit the mark or one message from someone else is enough and does more than others

So another one for number 2?

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same

So you have some standard messages prepared then?"

No... I don’t copy and paste

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mostly No2 because I’m random and just chat for banter and rapport more than trying to steer it to sex. That said, I’ve had sex with far more women from chatting playing Words With Friends than I have from this site. Go figure... "

What’s ‘Words with friends’?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?"

2. It differs wildly as each person is different, has different interests and given that even the same person may be feeling differently on different days, the many pathways for a conversation to evolve are infinite?

Anyone who selects option 1 would either be a bit, or an unimaginative boring sod who believes in such nonsense as "one fits all" chat up lines being used ad infinitum and appealing to everyone. Apart from that being complete claptrap, where the hell would be the fun in that? Getting to know someone is all part of the fun on here and not deviating from the same old formula would quickly become tedious...

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles. "

I always think my profile is a little to long but then I keep adding to it

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City


"Mostly No2 because I’m random and just chat for banter and rapport more than trying to steer it to sex. That said, I’ve had sex with far more women from chatting playing Words With Friends than I have from this site. Go figure...

What’s ‘Words with friends’?"

Online scrabble. For some reason I find it very easy to pick up women there, god knows why.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh I’m all over the place in my conversations. I do seem to chat about all sorts. I don’t have a plan, I just go with the flow "

Errm. Yes I’ve noticed this with you but it’s so lovely when you do it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"2.

We like to think of everyone we contact as individuals

Wouldn’t believe anything less coming from you "

Oh! Lol

We do have one of two questions we always promise ourselves we won't meet unless we've asked. Then we forget to ask them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same

So you have some standard messages prepared then?

No... I don’t copy and paste "

Interesting.... not convinced

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2. It differs wildly as each person is different, has different interests and given that even the same person may be feeling differently on different days, the many pathways for a conversation to evolve are infinite?

Anyone who selects option 1 would either be a bit, or an unimaginative boring sod who believes in such nonsense as "one fits all" chat up lines being used ad infinitum and appealing to everyone. Apart from that being complete claptrap, where the hell would be the fun in that? Getting to know someone is all part of the fun on here and not deviating from the same old formula would quickly become tedious...

B"

Percentage you think follow number 1 on this site then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles.

I always think my profile is a little to long but then I keep adding to it "

Wow! It is rather. Can you not delete a few things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?"

2.

Everyones different, I try talk about them, or likes or stuff about their profiles etc.

Sometimes I can chat serious, sometimes its banter, sometimes its kinky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2. It differs wildly as each person is different, has different interests and given that even the same person may be feeling differently on different days, the many pathways for a conversation to evolve are infinite?

Anyone who selects option 1 would either be a bot, or an unimaginative boring sod who believes in such nonsense as "one fits all" chat up lines being used ad infinitum and appealing to everyone. Apart from that being complete claptrap, where the hell would be the fun in that? Getting to know someone is all part of the fun on here and not deviating from the same old formula would quickly become tedious...

B"

There is also option 3; To reason that said owner of pics that catch one's eye is probably snowed under with a shitstorm of messages and to add to that barrage would be stupid. So simply do nothing and if they like the look of you, they'll make contact in the first instance eventually, if not then the law of averages says others who pique your interest will. This 3rd option is the one we probably take most often and the one I usually took on my singles profile.

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mostly No2 because I’m random and just chat for banter and rapport more than trying to steer it to sex. That said, I’ve had sex with far more women from chatting playing Words With Friends than I have from this site. Go figure...

What’s ‘Words with friends’?

Online scrabble. For some reason I find it very easy to pick up women there, god knows why. "

Perhaps it’s you that’s just easy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2.

We like to think of everyone we contact as individuals

Wouldn’t believe anything less coming from you

Oh! Lol

We do have one of two questions we always promise ourselves we won't meet unless we've asked. Then we forget to ask them "

Love this...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2.

Everyones different, I try talk about them, or likes or stuff about their profiles etc.

Sometimes I can chat serious, sometimes its banter, sometimes its kinky. "

And is it working for you?

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City


"Mostly No2 because I’m random and just chat for banter and rapport more than trying to steer it to sex. That said, I’ve had sex with far more women from chatting playing Words With Friends than I have from this site. Go figure...

What’s ‘Words with friends’?

Online scrabble. For some reason I find it very easy to pick up women there, god knows why.

Perhaps it’s you that’s just easy? "

I thought as much so stopped playing. Still see one of them on occasion but that’s been ongoing for four years now so not likely to end soon...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 2. If I message I always use whatever caught my interest in their profile as the basis for what I say. With single men that can be a challenge because the vast majority have virtually nothing on their profiles.

I always think my profile is a little to long but then I keep adding to it

Wow! It is rather. Can you not delete a few things?"

Such as my pictures?

I've just had a short hiatus,I should probably wipe it and have a complete rethink

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

There is also option 3; To reason that said owner of pics that catch one's eye is probably snowed under with a shitstorm of messages and to add to that barrage would be stupid. So simply do nothing and if they like the look of you, they'll make contact in the first instance eventually, if not then the law of averages says others who pique your interest will. This 3rd option is the one we probably take most often and the one I usually took on my singles profile.

B"

Yes but doesn’t this lead to regrets and ‘if only’ questions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?

2. It differs wildly as each person is different, has different interests and given that even the same person may be feeling differently on different days, the many pathways for a conversation to evolve are infinite?

Anyone who selects option 1 would either be a bit, or an unimaginative boring sod who believes in such nonsense as "one fits all" chat up lines being used ad infinitum and appealing to everyone. Apart from that being complete claptrap, where the hell would be the fun in that? Getting to know someone is all part of the fun on here and not deviating from the same old formula would quickly become tedious...

B

Percentage you think follow number 1 on this site then?"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B"

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards?

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales


"

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same

So you have some standard messages prepared then?

No... I don’t copy and paste

Interesting.... not convinced

"

Then convince yourself ... as I don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There is also option 3; To reason that said owner of pics that catch one's eye is probably snowed under with a shitstorm of messages and to add to that barrage would be stupid. So simply do nothing and if they like the look of you, they'll make contact in the first instance eventually, if not then the law of averages says others who pique your interest will. This 3rd option is the one we probably take most often and the one I usually took on my singles profile.

B

Yes but doesn’t this lead to regrets and ‘if only’ questions?"

In some instances it's possible. But I found using Option 3 even as a single guy was the best one for me as I still had plenty of meets with those who I found appealing just from answering mail I had coming in. As I only tended to get about 20 messages a day it was perfectly manageable, yet enough various interest was there to choose accordingly. It also relieved the stupid bulging mailbox problem that women and couples have to put up with, even if only a little as well as meaning I was able to chat more at length and deeply with those who messaged me that I did like the sound of, instead of that time being used to type up initial first contact messages, which made things more fun?

Option 3 however whilst it worked perfectly well for a guy in my position wouldn't work right across the board. For example if I was a lady I wouldn't take Option 3, owing to the disproportionate amount of shit they receive. Instead I'd blanket ban ALL single guys stopping all contact from them dead, then turn huntress using Option 2 to only contact those I liked the look of thereby lifting the ban on them and ensuring that the only mail I received was from those I found initially desirable?

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards? "

Why you cheeky mare! You be careful or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a very thorough spanking!

There's no arrogance involved in Option 3, just a realisation over years about what actually works best for you and others on the site really? Rammed mailboxes are indeed a problem as you will no doubt be able to testify, also the forums are littered with complaints about them and their contents.

And from my perspective, why the hell would I waste time typing up initial messages to those I may not even appeal to (indeed for anyone to appeal to everyone is an impossibility) when I could use it having fruitful and delightfully arousing conversations at length with those who I liked the look of who I knew were already interested in me?

B

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree


"Definitely No.2

Hello

How’s Spotify treating you?

I adore you and love it "

Awww thanks...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I don’t follow a pattern per se as messages are based on what their profiles say. A lot of profiles are very similar so often the message maybe the same

So you have some standard messages prepared then?

No... I don’t copy and paste

Interesting.... not convinced

Then convince yourself ... as I don’t "

So another definite 2 then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards?

Why you cheeky mare! You be careful or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a very thorough spanking!

There's no arrogance involved in Option 3, just a realisation over years about what actually works best for you and others on the site really? Rammed mailboxes are indeed a problem as you will no doubt be able to testify, also the forums are littered with complaints about them and their contents.

And from my perspective, why the hell would I waste time typing up initial messages to those I may not even appeal to (indeed for anyone to appeal to everyone is an impossibility) when I could use it having fruitful and delightfully arousing conversations at length with those who I liked the look of who I knew were already interested in me?

B"

So B, your answer makes sense. However, I still think you can be an arrogant git. Lord knows how P puts up with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start."

It's best to keep that sort of thing in the forum's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards?

Why you cheeky mare! You be careful or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a very thorough spanking!

There's no arrogance involved in Option 3, just a realisation over years about what actually works best for you and others on the site really? Rammed mailboxes are indeed a problem as you will no doubt be able to testify, also the forums are littered with complaints about them and their contents.

And from my perspective, why the hell would I waste time typing up initial messages to those I may not even appeal to (indeed for anyone to appeal to everyone is an impossibility) when I could use it having fruitful and delightfully arousing conversations at length with those who I liked the look of who I knew were already interested in me?

B

So B, your answer makes sense. However, I still think you can be an arrogant git. Lord knows how P puts up with you "

I'd like to think it did, if only for the reason that it took a few years on Fab to reach those conclusions; this probably speaks volumes for my being a little slow on the uptake at times!

I accept that this trait may be one that P has to put up with, though I don't think she perceives me as arrogant tbf.

Still if I were you I'd be spending less of your time mulling over my character traits and more of it deliberating which of your admittedly appealing knickers collection will best suit your soon to be glowing cherry red buttocks...

B

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"2, a conversation should be unique and bespoke and should flow naturally but arguably there will always be some king of running theme to them as your own personality and experiences will naturally steer the conversation.

*disclaimer... imo.

Do you think so? Isn’t the running theme sex?"

This set me thinking and I reckon probably 90% of the conversations I have here have nothing whatsoever to do with sex or are at a more intellectual and general level about it if it is discussed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always read the profile and my message is tailored to that. If there are veris shown I'll read them as well and look at who they've met previously as you can get a good idea of whether you're likely to be their type, or not.

Basically, I'll do my 'homework', if a woman seems to be meeting young ripped lads there's not much likelihood she'll be interested in me?

Oooh. Info gatherer. How’s that working for you?"

If the message gets read I normally get a reply, even if its a "no thanks", I like to think the recipient can see I've taken a bit of time and made an effort.

Us fellas only really get one shot so look where your firing and aim for the target. Sounds a bit like a military campaign

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven’t messaged a vast amount of people but when I do. I’m always polite, pay that person (or persons if it’s a Couple) a compliment usually regarding what has been written on their Profile and of course their Photos. Generally never include anything sexual in an opening message, never attach any photos unless requested on the Profile and I always include/mention something that has been written on their profile. Then simply ask how they are or if they had a good day/weekend etc

Then, literally just hope for the best "

That almost sounds like you read those instructions somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s individual each time I read the profile ( I know a guy that can read) then message them mentioning something in that profile then hey blocked

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

2. I get random chit chat. Which suits me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start.

It's best to keep that sort of thing in the forum's "

You’re so right there. You’re bound to find at least one kindred spirit

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards?

Why you cheeky mare! You be careful or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a very thorough spanking!

There's no arrogance involved in Option 3, just a realisation over years about what actually works best for you and others on the site really? Rammed mailboxes are indeed a problem as you will no doubt be able to testify, also the forums are littered with complaints about them and their contents.

And from my perspective, why the hell would I waste time typing up initial messages to those I may not even appeal to (indeed for anyone to appeal to everyone is an impossibility) when I could use it having fruitful and delightfully arousing conversations at length with those who I liked the look of who I knew were already interested in me?

B

So B, your answer makes sense. However, I still think you can be an arrogant git. Lord knows how P puts up with you

I'd like to think it did, if only for the reason that it took a few years on Fab to reach those conclusions; this probably speaks volumes for my being a little slow on the uptake at times!

I accept that this trait may be one that P has to put up with, though I don't think she perceives me as arrogant tbf.

Still if I were you I'd be spending less of your time mulling over my character traits and more of it deliberating which of your admittedly appealing knickers collection will best suit your soon to be glowing cherry red buttocks...

B"

Laughing now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always read the profile and my message is tailored to that. If there are veris shown I'll read them as well and look at who they've met previously as you can get a good idea of whether you're likely to be their type, or not.

Basically, I'll do my 'homework', if a woman seems to be meeting young ripped lads there's not much likelihood she'll be interested in me?

Oooh. Info gatherer. How’s that working for you?

If the message gets read I normally get a reply, even if its a "no thanks", I like to think the recipient can see I've taken a bit of time and made an effort.

Us fellas only really get one shot so look where your firing and aim for the target. Sounds a bit like a military campaign "

So it is working?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It’s individual each time I read the profile ( I know a guy that can read) then message them mentioning something in that profile then hey blocked "

Keep trying... the right one or ones are out there somewhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2. I get random chit chat. Which suits me. "

But what do you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s individual each time I read the profile ( I know a guy that can read) then message them mentioning something in that profile then hey blocked

Keep trying... the right one or ones are out there somewhere "

Doesn’t bother me plenty do reply just thought it was what guys put on threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always read the profile and my message is tailored to that. If there are veris shown I'll read them as well and look at who they've met previously as you can get a good idea of whether you're likely to be their type, or not.

Basically, I'll do my 'homework', if a woman seems to be meeting young ripped lads there's not much likelihood she'll be interested in me?

Oooh. Info gatherer. How’s that working for you?

If the message gets read I normally get a reply, even if its a "no thanks", I like to think the recipient can see I've taken a bit of time and made an effort.

Us fellas only really get one shot so look where your firing and aim for the target. Sounds a bit like a military campaign

So it is working?"

Hmm, depends on your interpretation. Yes, if you mean chatting and a bit of flirting, but No if you mean actually jumping into bed......so no, it's not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guided by the profile and see where that takes me. Usually nowhere....

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't know if I have a mo.

I just talk. And talk a bit more. And a bit more. And then a fuck lot more. About anything and everything I'm thinking about. Basically a stream of consciousness for the unfortunate recipient. I sometimes message people deliberately because of something they've posted that I am really interested in but I always clarify it's not in a sexual way, more curiosity sating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm guided by the profile and see where that takes me. Usually nowhere.... "

I find that hard to believe...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know if I have a mo.

I just talk. And talk a bit more. And a bit more. And then a fuck lot more. About anything and everything I'm thinking about. Basically a stream of consciousness for the unfortunate recipient. I sometimes message people deliberately because of something they've posted that I am really interested in but I always clarify it's not in a sexual way, more curiosity sating."

Your MO is clear to me CW

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I always try to find a common denominator and hope we can strike up a conversation, if that fails I have cake

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always try to find a common denominator and hope we can strike up a conversation, if that fails I have cake "

Your tactic is so well thought out. Cake works with a lot of people I believe

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"I always try to find a common denominator and hope we can strike up a conversation, if that fails I have cake

Your tactic is so well thought out. Cake works with a lot of people I believe "

I try my best to please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest these days, regardless of my MO, just having a new message pop up in my inbox is a success, and if there's two its like Christmas deciding which to open first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't have an MO, just try to be friendly, open & honest without being a nuisance, have a laugh & respect other people's wishes/points of view/boundaries etc.

Getting me absolutely feckin nowhere mind....

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

2 definitely number two.

I have had some of the most random and wonderful chats on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm guided by the profile and see where that takes me. Usually nowhere....

I find that hard to believe..."

Now we both know that's not true...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's one or the other then its 2, but to categorise inferes that there needs to be strategy and that to me is so false.

I don't see fab as a game where victories are there to be won though I'm sure some do, that's cool and I wouldn't criticise that but for everyone on fab theres a different story and a different persona that goes with it.

I have no agenda and would rather let the conversation flow naturally as it would do if we met by chance, to script or recite what you've said in previous texts would simply show a lack of honesty and imagination on my part, plus a lack of respect towards you... sometimes you hit it off and other times you dont.

A good conversation should bounce back and fore effortlessly using spontaneity, humour with cheeky banter and educated comment, some of the above...all of the above, but always a genuine interest in the other participant, to run through a checklist of predetermined conversation is surely making the "getting to know you" process more like a job interview?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start.

It's best to keep that sort of thing in the forum's

You’re so right there. You’re bound to find at least one kindred spirit "

I've stalked .....I mean seen a couple.....they just don't know it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't have an MO, just try to be friendly, open & honest without being a nuisance, have a laugh & respect other people's wishes/points of view/boundaries etc.

Getting me absolutely feckin nowhere mind.... "

Your username made me giggle. Keep going and don’t be quite so pc?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"2 definitely number two.

I have had some of the most random and wonderful chats on here!"

That’s wonderful to hear. Love messages that bring a smile to your face

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If it's one or the other then its 2, but to categorise inferes that there needs to be strategy and that to me is so false.

I don't see fab as a game where victories are there to be won though I'm sure some do, that's cool and I wouldn't criticise that but for everyone on fab theres a different story and a different persona that goes with it.

I have no agenda and would rather let the conversation flow naturally as it would do if we met by chance, to script or recite what you've said in previous texts would simply show a lack of honesty and imagination on my part, plus a lack of respect towards you... sometimes you hit it off and other times you dont.

A good conversation should bounce back and fore effortlessly using spontaneity, humour with cheeky banter and educated comment, some of the above...all of the above, but always a genuine interest in the other participant, to run through a checklist of predetermined conversation is surely making the "getting to know you" process more like a job interview?

"

This is the ideal but do you think people have enough time to partake?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start.

It's best to keep that sort of thing in the forum's

You’re so right there. You’re bound to find at least one kindred spirit

I've stalked .....I mean seen a couple.....they just don't know it "

So why not tell them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 2. I want to find someone interesting and different. The whole point of being here I guess?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Number 2. I want to find someone interesting and different. The whole point of being here I guess?"

some would say so...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I rarely message as I'm not what most people are looking for. So there has to be something in the profile to make me think it's worth the effort.

So that will be 'angle' lol but As another poster has said, getting the flow online isn't always easy. I think Mybdrybsense of humour is obvious but apparently it not

Yes. I think humour is very dangerous in online conversations especially at the start.

It's best to keep that sort of thing in the forum's

You’re so right there. You’re bound to find at least one kindred spirit

I've stalked .....I mean seen a couple.....they just don't know it

So why not tell them?"

They are either to far away or I'm not what they're looking for lol

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Everyone is unique and different. No two approaches are the same.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Step-1: read profile.

Step-2: craft a well thought out message

Step-3: get ignored

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Everyone is unique and different. No two approaches are the same."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Step-1: read profile.

Step-2: craft a well thought out message

Step-3: get ignored

"

Aww. Sounds like a strategy. It’ll land in the right person’s inbox eventually

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

We’ll read the profile and see if they’re into the same sort of stuff and send a wink. First few messages are just gauging interest and make sure their profile still matches what they’re looking for

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We’ll read the profile and see if they’re into the same sort of stuff and send a wink. First few messages are just gauging interest and make sure their profile still matches what they’re looking for"

The famous wink. I wonder how many people don’t even notice them...

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston


"Step-1: read profile.

Step-2: craft a well thought out message

Step-3: get ignored

Aww. Sounds like a strategy. It’ll land in the right person’s inbox eventually "

No joy yet but maybe 1 day I'll get lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

As for percentages, I'd think about as low as 20% for the Stupid option (1)

Though it will seem much higher to those with busy mailboxes, because this group tend to blanket-bomb every woman or couple within a certain radius. Those who follow Option 2 not only think this is stupid, but as they put more time and thought into their messages, they wouldn't have the time available to do this in any case? Therefore you'd be 10 times more likely to receive a message from such a dickhead than a normal person who'd follow option 2. You'd also rarely if never receive a message from those who follow "Option 3" as they don't tend to send out first contacts and don't need to.

B

Aren’t the number 3s also suffering a tad from being arrogant bastards?

Why you cheeky mare! You be careful or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a very thorough spanking!

There's no arrogance involved in Option 3, just a realisation over years about what actually works best for you and others on the site really? Rammed mailboxes are indeed a problem as you will no doubt be able to testify, also the forums are littered with complaints about them and their contents.

And from my perspective, why the hell would I waste time typing up initial messages to those I may not even appeal to (indeed for anyone to appeal to everyone is an impossibility) when I could use it having fruitful and delightfully arousing conversations at length with those who I liked the look of who I knew were already interested in me?

B

So B, your answer makes sense. However, I still think you can be an arrogant git. Lord knows how P puts up with you

I'd like to think it did, if only for the reason that it took a few years on Fab to reach those conclusions; this probably speaks volumes for my being a little slow on the uptake at times!

I accept that this trait may be one that P has to put up with, though I don't think she perceives me as arrogant tbf.

Still if I were you I'd be spending less of your time mulling over my character traits and more of it deliberating which of your admittedly appealing knickers collection will best suit your soon to be glowing cherry red buttocks...

B

Laughing now "

Nervous laughter suits you Madam.

B

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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago

London & New Brighton

Just say what you think, be real and respectful and and enjoy the banter, if nobody likes what you have to say fuck em not for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Nervous laughter suits you Madam.

B"

Nervous? Uh huh. Let’s continue this at the Brum social eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just say what you think, be real and respectful and and enjoy the banter, if nobody likes what you have to say fuck em not for you."

If you get banter then you’re on a winner

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare "

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?"

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

"

Did you really say that ? That was deep

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

Did you really say that ? That was deep "

I love being deep balls or balls deep

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

"

I think you can be yourself with the right person/people. Being on your own is when you can drop social etiquette and norms. That’s different.

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

Did you really say that ? That was deep

I love being deep balls or balls deep "

That's better, I thought for a minute someone had hacked your account

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

I think you can be yourself with the right person/people. Being on your own is when you can drop social etiquette and norms. That’s different."

Have you ever heard about Goffman’s main concept regarding the Presentation of Self in everyday life ?

He posited that we are all actors/actresses adapting ourselves to social situation.

I strongly believe that no one is really themselves unless alone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

Did you really say that ? That was deep

I love being deep balls or balls deep

That's better, I thought for a minute someone had hacked your account "

If you have received a small dick picture it may be the case

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

I think you can be yourself with the right person/people. Being on your own is when you can drop social etiquette and norms. That’s different.

Have you ever heard about Goffman’s main concept regarding the Presentation of Self in everyday life ?

He posited that we are all actors/actresses adapting ourselves to social situation.

I strongly believe that no one is really themselves unless alone"

Good for you then. It’s rare to find something in this world we can believe 100%.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

I think you can be yourself with the right person/people. Being on your own is when you can drop social etiquette and norms. That’s different.

Have you ever heard about Goffman’s main concept regarding the Presentation of Self in everyday life ?

He posited that we are all actors/actresses adapting ourselves to social situation.

I strongly believe that no one is really themselves unless alone

Good for you then. It’s rare to find something in this world we can believe 100%."

Yes very true but if you really think about it...there must be things you do in private that you wouldn't do in front of anyone... If you do then his theory is a true

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London


"So I was wondering. You see a profile or ten that catch your eye. The messaging begins. So... do you:

1. Basically follow the same pattern of messaging and stuff you chat about?

2. Find that the topics you talk about are wildly different with each person you message?"

Let me stop you right there... You see a profile or ten that catch your eye.... You message...the end

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

Did you really say that ? That was deep

I love being deep balls or balls deep

That's better, I thought for a minute someone had hacked your account

If you have received a small dick picture it may be the case "

Nope, you never sent one

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yes very true but if you really think about it...there must be things you do in private that you wouldn't do in front of anyone... If you do then his theory is a true "

Yes but this thread is about group interaction not what you do and don’t do in public...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adaption

Model myself into what the woman wants...unless if it is a big dick... I leave that to someone of this thread

#youlnowwhoyouare

So like a chameleon? Never the real you?

Nobody is really themselves unless they are on their own...

Did you really say that ? That was deep

I love being deep balls or balls deep

That's better, I thought for a minute someone had hacked your account

If you have received a small dick picture it may be the case

Nope, you never sent one "

Well rem_mber if you do receive one from my account...someone hacked it !

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