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Fab returns policy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

So romantic and adorable OP.

I hope the returns policy doesn't kick in any time soon, my partner will probably swap me for someone who doesn't constantly try and get him hard because her libido has shot up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Meh, she's on the phone atm, just waiting for the fall out when she sees this. May have to cook get breakfast

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P"

Such a hard life OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Meh, she's on the phone atm, just waiting for the fall out when she sees this. May have to cook get breakfast

P"

Orgasms, perving and breakfast is what Sunday's are all about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most things come with a 12 month guarantee. So that will be void long ago.

Try letting her outside in the garden for 20 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most things come with a 12 month guarantee. So that will be void long ago.

Try letting her outside in the garden for 20 minutes."

That's not a bad idea, may run off some excess energy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good morning everyone.... she's caught up on the thread and is typing this response.

He is a cheeky guy isn't he?! I shower him with all of my attention and affection and this is what I get in return..... hurumph.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could see if John Lewis would take her back but pretty sure it's only TV's get the 5 year warrenty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So romantic and adorable OP.

I hope the returns policy doesn't kick in any time soon, my partner will probably swap me for someone who doesn't constantly try and get him hard because her libido has shot up. "

That's awesome Meli, keep enjoying yourself

(Her) x

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P"

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Awe what a lovely thread! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate "

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Awe what a lovely thread! X"

I know DC, he's a cheeky sod x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need this

Without the living together

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x"

Cheesus! How much did he order

If we ever meet I will bring you your own personal bar of chocolate x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x

Cheesus! How much did he order

If we ever meet I will bring you your own personal bar of chocolate x"

That's it you're on...when you sexy devil x

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x

Cheesus! How much did he order

If we ever meet I will bring you your own personal bar of chocolate x

That's it you're on...when you sexy devil x"

Whenever we all have a free day, night or weekend x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need this

"

The first thing I thought when I read it; one of the best posts I’ve read today

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x

Cheesus! How much did he order

If we ever meet I will bring you your own personal bar of chocolate x

That's it you're on...when you sexy devil x

Whenever we all have a free day, night or weekend x"

Ok let's check diaries and plan some fun x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok, so nearly 4 years ago I met a woman on here who has since taken over my life. Trying to have a lazy Sunday morning perv and she literally slid across the bed and laid on top of me like a puppy wanting a walk. Can I please send her back so I can have some peace?

P

She is only doing it because she ended up with cheese when she really wanted chocolate

2 days of bloody cheese Sophie! I asked earlier if I could order a box of chocolates to be delivered to me as I am seriously in need x

Cheesus! How much did he order

If we ever meet I will bring you your own personal bar of chocolate x"

Don't take any notice of her Sophie, we had cheese and crackers last night. Today, while I was busy painting and putting up lights etc she said she'd make dinner. Half hour later I walk downstairs to see her jump from the sofa with a guilty look coz instead of making dinner she'd spent the time flirting with some guy on Fab. We're had cheese and crackers again because that's all she could rustle up in a hurry.

P

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