FabSwingers.com forum: Men...let it out

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Most men from an early age are taught to create a shell that protects us from our emotions, but when that shell is broken or cracked the vulnerability pushes us to replace it with ego, pride or desire...

So leave a post about something that's worrying you that you feel you can't say out loud, sometimes putting it out there and making it real can help...we won't try and solve any issues we'll just read and hear it.

I have many but one biggy for me is I'm terrified I'll never discover the real me in time to enjoy it. I feel society has fooled me into being many things for many people and as time is ticking I'm not sure what my internal compass is trying to tell me anymore.

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By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim

I always worry about being a good Parent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry I am putting too much pressure on my self to bring home a good wage

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm not a Man, however I think this is a great thread it's good to get people supporting each other. Nice one OP.

(LOVE)

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm not a Man, however I think this is a great thread it's good to get people supporting each other. Nice one OP.

(LOVE)

Jo.Xx "

This xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not a Man, however I think this is a great thread it's good to get people supporting each other. Nice one OP.

(LOVE)

Jo.Xx

This xx"

Thanks... hopefully people will see it as a safe space to let it out.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope some share

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

I worry almost constantly about how I'll cope when I lose loved ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry ill never forfive myself & the darkness will win

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hope some share

I'll try to bump it now and again, some nice honest snippets so far, hope we all remember worry and fear is something we all share and we should try not to be too hard on ourselves.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (the male) worry that people really don't get mental illness until it's too late.

I talk about mine all the while, to enlighten people about the signs to look out for. I always think that if someone walks away from a conversation with me, thinking that someone in their life is showing some of the signs, then they will start the ball rolling into getting that person talking and on the right path to controlling their own mental illness.

Hope this makes sense.

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

The world would be a different place if guys were just nicer and more accepting of each other

The tough exterior we build up is usually to protect ourselves from other men and what they may think of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry about letting people down and failing at things. I was raised to never fail and it's a huge weight to shoulder and even at 40 it cripples me to feel I've disappointed others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry I'm unlovable and will ever find "the one".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry I'm unlovable and will ever find "the one". "

I found the one and lost her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry I'm unlovable and will ever find "the one". "

I’m not a man but can totally relate to this.

I think we need to learn to love ourselves first xx

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

I worry about my children when I'm not there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry I'm unlovable and will ever find "the one". "

Not trying to pull.

Me too, but have faith xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry that if I don’t start making changes soon I’ll stay in the exact same cycle I’ve been on for years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope some share

I'll try to bump it now and again, some nice honest snippets so far, hope we all remember worry and fear is something we all share and we should try not to be too hard on ourselves.x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a great post. It’s never too late to let it out, find an ear....

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I worry I'm unlovable and will ever find "the one". "

I'm sure you will, sometimes when you stop looking, that's when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fear that I am more like my father than i could ever begin to admit.

And I worry about my ability to self sabotage and push people away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/20 19:28:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health "
no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Many of the things I worry about have already been mentioned.

Earning money

Love

Loss

The real me

What I really want out of life.

I have come to realise that actually no matter what I have in material and financial terms I will still be me. The same thoughts the same anxieties.

I could win the lottery. It wouldn't make it easier to meet the one. And there will still be losses.

I'm currently trying to be me. Exorcise some past demons. Over come some challenges. Which I am doing. Enjoy life and try to feel like I dont need to be at a certain point in life at a certain time.

We're all different. Don't be judged.

I'll get off my soap box now.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

My left ball hangs lower than my right ball

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

I want to be good enough and worth the time and effort and support I give others but its always unbalanced then feel used.

I often see the pattern but as a people pleaser I cannot break it.

So i let myself be taken advantage of and used but never in a good way.

So I end up putting myself down and over the years become too critical of myself overthink and in turn talk myself out of going for things I want.

That as well contributed to having a social anxiety so I can come off as needy when it's really looking for approval I shouldn't seek from others.

This bleeds into both personal and professional settings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My left ball hangs lower than my right ball

"
cant tell jokes dude its about mental health folks may cry

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

Sensitivity was never your strong point!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

Who wishes they were you, honey?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

Who wishes they were you, honey? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/20 19:45:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is a beautiful thing (certain posts aside)

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By *antrelWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham/Cardiff

"Most men from an early age are taught to create a shell that protects us from our emotions, but when that shell is broken or cracked the vulnerability pushes us to replace it with ego, pride or desire...

Starting this thread and sharing your fears is a brave and beautiful thing to do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry that we live in a society where so many men (mainly young men) are told that being confident, assertive, and taking pride in themselves is a form of "toxic masculinity". And admitting so, or showing so, leads to being judged as arrogant, chauvinistic etc.

These traits aren't toxic, and having these kinds of traits doesn't make you less in touch with feelings or emotions. On the contrary. Just some men, just like some women, aren't too self aware.

Thoughts out to all men, and women while we at it, who feel they can't talk about their emotions and general wellbeing..

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx"

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I feel like I’m not born in the right generation or time period but the biggest issue for me is that I will never be good enough for anyone. That I’m poison to everyone that cares about that’s why I don’t get close to people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx"

Yes i know some people struggle at times i do too but all i was saying is im not gonna worry about it as was asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner is in a group similar to this, a bunch of local guys who check in on each other and reach out if one of them is having a tough time. I think it probably happens more than people think but dudes just keep it quiet and discreet. I just wish it wasn't perceived as weakness. It takes courage to admit you're not coping, whoever you are. I think everyone, male or female feels that twinge of failure, I know I did. But now I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

Who wishes they were you, honey? "
90% of the male population of earth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a Man, however I think this is a great thread it's good to get people supporting each other. Nice one OP.

(LOVE)

Jo.Xx "

I totally agree, well done OP and to all the men opening up xx

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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago

Now in MALAGA (SPAIN)

"I (the male) worry that people really don't get mental illness until it's too late.

Hope this makes sense."

It makes a sense Mr!

I know what are you talking about.

I had depression when my hubby passed away fighting with cancer. Dark ages. Im completely different person now but I still feel that pain like it was yesterday.

Its not feckin shame to say "I need help, it depression or something else. I wont be alone"

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By *arracksCouple
over a year ago

Deal

Ah man, life is seriously shit sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx

Yes i know some people struggle at times i do too but all i was saying is im not gonna worry about it as was asked"

I really don't want to derail this thread but you didn't say that at all. You posted what is actually a fairly typical macho response to the issue of mental health suggesting you are immune to it and implying it's a weakness. Which is laughable given that as others have said anyone that has been on the forums a reasonable time know how far from the truth that is.

In a thread about honesty maybe the humility to admit that you do struggle but are doing okay at the moment might have been better?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I worry about the anger resentment and guilt I carry will never go away.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"The world would be a different place if guys were just nicer and more accepting of each other

The tough exterior we build up is usually to protect ourselves from other men and what they may think of us"

And it's this tough exterior that we're taught to have as men from an early age that also makes men more judgemental of others too so as a gender we keep others from being their true selves.

If we hadn't all been so quick to ridicule then I and others like me could have discovered who we are at an earlier age and even now could go out and not have to deal with the few idots that feel the need to have a dig at people they dont understand.

And yes, this is fabs so generally more guys on here are open minded and its partly why I like this place as much as I do, many of you guys have made me feel welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

Who wishes they were you, honey? 90% of the male population of earth

Lol, cute. Get down with ya bad self

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By *ick_and_BickerCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

It seems that so far, everybody is worrying about the same things. It’s always been so and will always be.

What we can all do is enable and encourage the younger people in our lives to feel and accept ALL human emotions, even those perceived as negative and embrace them as normal. Sad, angry, numb, heartbroken, all absolutely normal. We need to understand how to deal with these temporary emotions and accept they happen.

Personally, I’m heartily sick of this vilification of any emotion that isn’t happy and being told how we must feel, I long to be able to cry and wail at the universe without being soothed or referred for treatment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx

Yes i know some people struggle at times i do too but all i was saying is im not gonna worry about it as was asked

In a thread about honesty maybe the humility to admit that you do struggle but are doing okay at the moment might have been better?"

This is what i read from the op and responded to i only read the question parts as always

So leave a post about something that's WORRYING you that you feel you can't say out loud

The macho stuff was a happy coincidence i had no idea it was a mental health thread as normally they say mental health on em and are really wordy so i avoid em yes i am a volatile person i do get down everyone does lifes not easy but im not gonna WORRY about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world would be a different place if guys were just nicer and more accepting of each other

The tough exterior we build up is usually to protect ourselves from other men and what they may think of us

And it's this tough exterior that we're taught to have as men from an early age that also makes men more judgemental of others too so as a gender we keep others from being their true selves.

And yes, this is fabs so generally more guys on here are open minded and its partly why I like this place as much as I do, many of you guys have made me feel welcome.

You bring the fabulous, ma kween

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope anyone who is struggling knows there are helplines - If you feel like you have no one to talk to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/20 20:09:38]

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Awesome post - true bravery is doing the the things that scare us, like this, not being macho when it comes so easy.

I worry about my mum, my kids , the number of nights I spend away from the people I love. I try and use that negative energy to make changes rather than despair about it.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I think this post is great but I also think at times we beat ourselves up and worry to much x

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

"I worry about the anger resentment and guilt I carry will never go away. "

Same here except without the guilt

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"The world would be a different place if guys were just nicer and more accepting of each other

The tough exterior we build up is usually to protect ourselves from other men and what they may think of us

And it's this tough exterior that we're taught to have as men from an early age that also makes men more judgemental of others too so as a gender we keep others from being their true selves.

And yes, this is fabs so generally more guys on here are open minded and its partly why I like this place as much as I do, many of you guys have made me feel welcome.

You bring the fabulous, ma kween

I can also bring a little sanity if you ask nicely hahaa

You're awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry about the anger resentment and guilt I carry will never go away.

Same here except without the guilt "

Anything I say will sound patronising and middle aged and I don't want to. But it does get better. I swear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry about the anger resentment and guilt I carry will never go away.

Same here except without the guilt

Anything I say will sound patronising and middle aged and I don't want to. But it does get better. I swear

Beautiful reply and you’re totally right. Just got to stick in there

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I think this post is great but I also think at times we beat ourselves up and worry to much x "

As a society we haven’t taught people skills to deal with anxiety and worrying , which are very normal emotions if you have any form of responsibilities or baggage, which 99% of people do.

It happens in business, I’ve had mentoring for over 20 years and am a mentor myself for men, teens and recently women in business.

And then some people just don’t give a fuck , which is a cop out of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worry about the anger resentment and guilt I carry will never go away.

Same here except without the guilt

Anything I say will sound patronising and middle aged and I don't want to. But it does get better. I swear

Beautiful reply and you’re totally right. Just got to stick in there "

Dunno if you've seen Fleabag. There's a beautiful scene with the gorgeous Kirsten Scott Thomas, she tells Fleabag she's 58, Fleabag tells her she's 33 and KST grimaces and says "it does get better, I promise." I laughed out loud and kind of wanted to cry cos it's just so true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this post is great but I also think at times we beat ourselves up and worry to much x

As a society we haven’t taught people skills to deal with anxiety and worrying , which are very normal emotions if you have any form of responsibilities or baggage, which 99% of people do.

It happens in business, I’ve had mentoring for over 20 years and am a mentor myself for men, teens and recently women in business.

And then some people just don’t give a fuck , which is a cop out of course."

Truth and lots of it

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

If you are friends with someone you fancy and you don't tell them that you fancy them are you being dishonest about your friendship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are friends with someone you fancy and you don't tell them that you fancy them are you being dishonest about your friendship?"

No your probs just respecting the boundaries

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’m not worried about me as when I’m so old I’m a burden, I have plans. I worry about my kids and them having to make a happy and successful and stable fulfilling future for themselves. They are already finding it difficult.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Great thread OP

To all those commenting, just remember we all break, have worries, fail at somethings, it’s all natural and part of being a human being, including the male side of the species

No one is perfect, just try your best and most importantly talk about things, don’t bottle them up and eat you up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont worry about nothing im hard as fuck i break all in my path and do anything to get victory

I know you like to cast yourself as the forum clown and I know this is meant as a joke but can you not see how negative an impact a comment like this can have on a thread about mental health no i cant see how me saying i have no worries has any baring at all on other people at all tbh im used to people wishing they were me

I’ve seen many many posts from you in the past when you’ve been having a hard time.

Have a bit of sensitivity - your life is going good, we’re all happy, but some people struggle.

You know how it feels xx

Yes i know some people struggle at times i do too but all i was saying is im not gonna worry about it as was asked

In a thread about honesty maybe the humility to admit that you do struggle but are doing okay at the moment might have been better?

This is what i read from the op and responded to i only read the question parts as always

So leave a post about something that's WORRYING you that you feel you can't say out loud

If you read the opening thread it was obvious it was about mental health.

If you didn't read the opening post its presumably a happy coincidence that your response while at best misguided was completely on topic

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