FabSwingers.com forum: Why I rarely message people

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I enjoy the forums at times and love a good perve, but I've seen what a woman's (in)box looks like on this site, it gets crude, funny and downright scary at times. So I avoid messaging women as I just don't want my message to be filed with some of the twats because I'm, well...not a twat!

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm exactly the same. I don't send out messages. All my meets have been from the forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For the record I do reply to messages...I'm not some weirdo at the bar that doesn't talk..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Normally though I just dick about in the forums and flirt there until they message me, occasionally I'll send one first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mean you don't message people cold as opposed to encountering them on the forum and then sending a message?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

Do they?

My inbox isn't that bad, it's easy enough to have a quick scan of it and see the ones I'd like to reply to. But if not messaging people works for you, then carry on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noted!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you mean you don't message people cold as opposed to encountering them on the forum and then sending a message? "

Yes, I never really cold call.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mean you don't message people cold as opposed to encountering them on the forum and then sending a message?

Yes, I never really cold call.x"

I can see that being quite a workable system

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

I tend to overthink and talk myself out of it

I tend to look at who's active on forums them and try and catch attention that way and see how they respond

If positive/friendly then approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I enjoy the forums at times and love a good perve, but I've seen what a woman's (in)box looks like on this site, it gets crude, funny and downright scary at times. So I avoid messaging women as I just don't want my message to be filed with some of the twats because I'm, well...not a twat!

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"
i don't send initial messages but reply hence why this internet domain isn't frustrating for me but rem_mbering back to the times when i did i still had a fair bit of success, its all about catching the target profiles interest

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By *miableRogueMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

I refrain from sending messages. You just know that she’s getting a lot of mail, so I just keep fabbing her pics until she marries me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think ive ever messaged first apart from with forum games. I aways reply and am happy to chat but never actively search and message women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it quite difficult to message if I'm honest, never really know what to say, so I tend to wink and see if I get a wink back. If I do then I message, I know some of you out there ignore winks, button me I find it helps and it's a form of flattery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calling others twats and little ugly blokes??

You sound like a keeper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

I bet you'd probably write a better first message than most.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I definitely message people...

Because... why not?

He who dares, Rodney.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

"Calling others twats and little ugly blokes??

You sound like a keeper

This was exactly our thought too.

With an attitude like that, messaging first or second will end the same way. Block list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calling others twats and little ugly blokes??

You sound like a keeper

This was exactly our thought too.

With an attitude like that, messaging first or second will end the same way. Block list.

I also agree.

I have to say that's quite offensive as I'm someone who isn't particularly handsome that hurts

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

I first wait to be sent a vagina pic...

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Im very similar to you OP, I've only sent out a handful of 'cold' messages and very quickly realised that it was never going to amount to anything.

There are lots of different ways of making contact, the forums being one of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish."

It could be, but it could also support the fact that if we don't ask we don't get and when I see a little man (whom I'm entitled to think is ugly) with a pretty women, it might just be because I was too lane to ask first. So maybe drop your sword on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

What are you classing as 'ugly?' I go for men that I'm attracted to in looks and mind but we all have different tastes.

My inbox has seen some nasty stuff come through and yes they make my rather large block list but not everyone that messages me is bad. I've had some great conversations and some great fun from guys messaging me first. If I see a profile I like though, I will wink or message.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't "not message" people because I think their inbox will be full or because they might not reply etc

I do however avoid sending messages "cold" to people I've not interacted with before in some way, as I just find it a little clinical and awkward when I have done so in the past.

As I often say it's down to finding your way and what works for you as much as anything and my approach is one I'm happy with.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’m not much of a message person here because I’m not looking to pick men up or start loads of chats. I do, however, chat off threads or say hello to people I’ve seen around the forums. It’s very easy to see which messages are not what I’m looking for when they arrive.

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By *oby le roneMan
over a year ago

Treorchy

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

I don’t really bother much these days, unless something catches my eye on a status or something. I’ve seen their inboxes too and yes it is sad to see.

As for ugly blokes getting all the pretty girls I can assure you we don’t lol

But maybe a pretty lady is more interested in chatting and meeting an ugly bloke because we come across as being polite and chatty as opposed to assuming we’re gods gift to fab and women in general.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

Your opinion on which men are or aren’t attractive isn’t really important. If a woman you think is pretty is with a man you think is ugly, just accept that she finds him attractive and move on instead of getting bitter and resentful about it. I’ve had plenty of abusive messages from men who think they’re better or more attractive than men I’ve met but for me, nothing makes someone unattractive faster than them showing themselves to be unpleasant people. Jason Momoa himself could message me but if he was vile and abusive I still wouldn’t meet him. Being nasty about other people’s looks, especially if the reason you’re pissed off about it is that you didn’t message the woman in question, won’t make people think you’re a pleasant person.

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By *anchez1197Man
over a year ago

Horsham

I do message ladies but to be honest, I wonder if it's worth it, I'm always nice and polite and always say sorry to have troubled you if not interested, but have sent about 30 messages and had 3 replied back. I do wonder how the ladies sort through there messages

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Little ugly blokes and twats?

White nights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will message if I think profiles might align, and will always put a little time to write about something their profile has reference to (even if it doesn't progress, if it does get read I normally get a 'thank you, wish more were like you', so it is worth trying if you're prepared to put the effort in (that us short ugly blokes have to!).

But do send any message with the acceptance that, like you say OP, it'll just get lost in a mirriad of one liners and cock pics.

My dilema is the follow up!

was it missed or was it purposely ignored so you don't bother them again?! That's where a polite thanks but no thanks go a long way, but I don't for a minute expect it... can you imagine being a woman/couple on here if you tried to do that for everyone, it'd be a full time job!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message women .... put some effort into it don’t copy and paste be polite and respectful and you’ve got a good chance of getting a reply

Sound quite bitter OP

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. "

Mine must be shit, cuz don’t get many reply’s lol..

.. file with the rest

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

I totally understand you! I had a few female friends on here, and I used to look at their mailboxes. They used to show me weird messages and stuff.

I'm also conscious of being categorised with arseholes. I have too much pride.

However, in a word; yes! You are missing out. I learnt how to get around it. Women love to receive good messages and by not messaging, you are missing out.

Women are able to pick out good messages and they will bite if you get it right. The key is sending messages which really stand out. I'm sure some women on here have seen my messages and they really do stand out.

Also, ugly blokes don't get the action! Confident and chatty blokes get the attention!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m totally with this.

I spend most of my time on fab in the forums. There’s some I’d like to message but I don’t want to be pigeonholed with the dick pic senders and the ones that message “meet now”

So sometimes the opportunity passes by. It’s just how fab is I suppose.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

The problem with not messaging is that the woman might not want to be the first to message.

I look to see whose looked at us but I think if they were interested they would message us. I'm not going to risk the rejection, especially from men.

Mrs x

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

To completely flip your original thought OP, in an inbox crammed with "hey" messages, "ur tits r hot" messages, weird suggestions and dick pics, a halfway decent message stands out.

If my inbox was filled with interesting messages that provoked a decent conversation then a message would have to be truly extraordinary to be noticed. As things stand, it just needs to be vaguely literate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attractiveness is subjective

My inbox has filled up today, only because I have a status mentioning ‘penis’

That’s how fab works sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All my fwbs found me with a cold message. As someone else said there's lots of ways to meet on here. If you click then you click. But using the forums definitely makes sense. Its easier to approach someone if you already know you have common ground.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like real life. If you’ve got the gift of the gab, your message will get through.... You’re missing out OP. I love messaging first and usually rely on the fora to help me choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do message ladies but to be honest, I wonder if it's worth it, I'm always nice and polite and always say sorry to have troubled you if not interested, but have sent about 30 messages and had 3 replied back. I do wonder how the ladies sort through there messages "

I sort mine based on who has bothered to read my profile.

So far, with my newly written profile, every single man who has messaged me has not read my profile so their message just gets deleted unread.

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

I message ladies. It's getting them read which is the hard part.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Between 20 and 30k people online most days , so I’m guessing around 100k active m_mbers , how many in the forums ? 1% ?

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By *randMrsBlueEyesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

This is a very interesting thread to read for us to be fair. We try to reply to all messages as we arent a single female so dont get quite as swamped but are struggling to find someone with whom we click... maybe in not being that active so far on the forums we are missing a whole section of the community that is more open and willing to chat to us for a while rather than assuming we will meet immediately.

Mrs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. "
not all do

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. not all do "

They are more likely to though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't message as I know how women are bombarded, I will purely wink.

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple
over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)

Before me an gerry got together that exactly what I did and for the same reason. There's some real desperate sad acts on here and no way was I being tart with their brush. Fuck fucking that....

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

Have an interesting first line to your message; that’s what women can see without actually opening the message, and from what my lady friends tell me, that’s how they skim read their inboxes.......

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

But don’t tell everyone

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By *randMrsBlueEyesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I'm going to start working that way, save myself some time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who decides who the "little ugly blokes" are?

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By *randMrsBlueEyesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Who decides who the "little ugly blokes" are?

People who are more interested in first impressions than who someone is...

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I also have been shown the contents of several woman's inboxes and seen the poor quality and the pathetic messages they receive daily. It's a constant flow if they are on line or post a photo or status update .Armed with this knowledge I only message people I have met at socials or in clubs or whom I think I am a perfect match for based on her/their profile and therefore have something to talk about. There are no guarantees of being read or receiving a reply but at least the odds are more favourable.

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

I avoid sending a message to anyone who is still classed as new. I'll make a note and maybe return later.

When I do send a message I'll be normal, polite complimentary and make the message about them.

The frustrating thing is you do all that and your efforts go unread or unappreciated.

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By *randMrsBlueEyesCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I avoid sending a message to anyone who is still classed as new. I'll make a note and maybe return later.

When I do send a message I'll be normal, polite complimentary and make the message about them.

The frustrating thing is you do all that and your efforts go unread or unappreciated. "

We try to reply to all for this reason one way or another but it's rare we get a genuine thought out message. The cut and paste approach seems to be common at the moment, had one yesterday who had even included another couples names. Wish we had some more interest but need to find ways to make ourselves more appealing for the genuine guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I definitely message people...

Because... why not?

He who dares, Rodney."

Same. If I like someone I’ll send him a message. We are all adults not 5 year olds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

So you associate “ little men” as being below you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I definitely message people...

Because... why not?

He who dares, Rodney.

Same. If I like someone I’ll send him a message. We are all adults not 5 year olds.

"
ti's a shame there is a few on here act like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To completely flip your original thought OP, in an inbox crammed with "hey" messages, "ur tits r hot" messages, weird suggestions and dick pics, a halfway decent message stands out.

I have to agree with this.

Although to be fair my profile is as boring as you like.

I do however also quite happily initiate a conversation. Just be brave there are a scrumptious bunch of ladies on here who will reply to a message that has had more than a seconds thought applied to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a chat and I used to message a lot more when I first joined this.. But most of the messages just get ignored or not even seen.

It got me down, so now I only message the ladies who catch my eye in my area. I can't see the point in messaging someone who I can't meet in the immediate future anymore, because by the time I have the time to meet her.. She would of recieved a million other messages from men and long forgotten about me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

I totally understand you! I had a few female friends on here, and I used to look at their mailboxes. They used to show me weird messages and stuff.

I'm also conscious of being categorised with arseholes. I have too much pride.

However, in a word; yes! You are missing out. I learnt how to get around it. Women love to receive good messages and by not messaging, you are missing out.

Also, ugly blokes don't get the action! Confident and chatty blokes get the attention!

I agree yes we do get loads of rude and cringy messages , but block delete sorts that out. If a guy sends me a nice message which isn’t crude I will always reply even just to say Thankyou but I don’t think we would be compatible.

By saying you never send messages first is in my opinion you just think your above everyone else

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

What the hell are you saying man?!? Shhhhhhhh!!!

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

So you associate “ little men” as being below you?"

Reminds me of that sketch with John Cleese and the two Ronnies

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. not all do "

One persons idea of good might be anothers crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

So you associate “ little men” as being below you?

Reminds me of that sketch with John Cleese and the two Ronnies "

That made me giggle

. But I do suspect some tall men do think they are above men who are smaller , hence the OP saying “ small” so he associates small men as being unattractive and below him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages x"
I sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?

That’s not very nice, is it? It could in fact be seen as a bit twat-ish.

So you associate “ little men” as being below you?

Reminds me of that sketch with John Cleese and the two Ronnies

That made me giggle

. But I do suspect some tall men do think they are above men who are smaller , hence the OP saying “ small” so he associates small men as being unattractive and below him "

Well the air gets thinner the higher you go...

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

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By *aughtierthanyourealiseMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I avoid messaging people most of the time because I never know what to say/can be shy at times (yet in person I'm fine), also I'm a doer not a sayer.

Plus people seem to have their certain types and people/circles they only associate with, so I just wing it tbh and ride the wave of randomness. I don't get uptight about things if people don't want to speak to you that's their perogative and someone else more receptive/appreciative will, it's just life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

"
actually she didn't even look at my profile either

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By *aughtierthanyourealiseMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I do like a cheeky perv though

lol

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I've pretty much given up sending initial messages - I'll always reply to those I receive though.

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

actually she didn't even look at my profile either "

You wouldn’t know if she’s browsing in stealth mode

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

actually she didn't even look at my profile either "

You don't know that, she's probably got her settings so she won't show on the list of who's looked, like most women do.

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By *appytrailmanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

I'm similar and struggle to make my messages sound fun! Haha

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I like to message people I've interacted with on the forums though I have sent a sneaky few to other....just in case

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

You sound a treat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

actually she didn't even look at my profile either "

How do you know? I’ve looked at your profile and did you know? No, because I choose not to show up on profiles I’ve looked at. Don’t stress. If someone likes you they will reply.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I send them rarely. Usually to compliment someone (it gives me a nice fuzzy feeling like giving someone my car park ticket) but never expect a reply back. If I get one it’s a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't message anyone unless it is to compliment their healthy looking anuses

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By *aughtierthanyourealiseMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"I send them rarely. Usually to compliment someone (it gives me a nice fuzzy feeling like giving someone my car park ticket) but never expect a reply back. If I get one it’s a bonus "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them rarely. Usually to compliment someone (it gives me a nice fuzzy feeling like giving someone my car park ticket) but never expect a reply back. If I get one it’s a bonus "

Same , if I like someone I just message to say I like them and think they are nice. If they don’t reply I just think “ ok I’m not for them”. Life hey. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't message anyone unless it is to compliment their healthy looking anuses "

Bleached bum holes only ?

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

If I see somebody has put a status status or need some help with something I will send a message, and also admittedly message people if their profile really attracts me I will compliment them and it's a bonus if I get one back but it's no big deal if I don't Get a message In return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I’m curios to why you put “ small “ men in your post, do you think because your 6ft your above men whom are below you in height ? What if a man was 5”4 but had much more money and status than yourself, would you assume because your taller your more of a “man” I’m curious?

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By *cedGemsWoman
over a year ago

South West Wales ;-)

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. "

True, regardless of any advancement

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

actually she didn't even look at my profile either "

She might be in incognito mode, and she might have read it and then marked it as unread before deleting. No point in second guessing.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I've read every message I've been sent and read every profile and looked at all the pictures (first page only)

I've not replied to all of them but I reply if I'm interested or if I'm not interested but I can tell they've put loads of effort into it.

I don't reply to the 'hey babe nice arse' type messages because by looking at their profile and photos I've already invested more time in them than they have in me (and I'm not here looking for selfish)

So in a nutshell, if someone sends me a message it doesn't get lost in a sea of crap. It's gets read and considered. But this is why I have my filters set to no messages for much of the time because if I don't have time to give people the attention they deserve then I think it unfair to pretend I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sent a message as I saw something on her status.

Only to be seen unread deleted.

Don’t worry. Maybe your not her type, don’t let it put you off sending messages xI sent her a message due to status she posted up.

Nout to do with were she like me or not.

She didn't read it

Maybe she looked at your profile first and decided she didn't want to read it. There could be lots of reasons. Don't worry about the ones that don't reply, just move on

actually she didn't even look at my profile either

She might be in incognito mode, and she might have read it and then marked it as unread before deleting. No point in second guessing. "

Yes exactly what I said

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Yes exactly what I said "

I'm in incognito mode but I only mark messages unread to remind me to reply. I wouldn't do that and delete it because I think the sender would be upset. I'd be a bit deflated if it didn't even get read.

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By *aughtierthanyourealiseMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Everyone's talking about settings and I'm thinking of the poor midgets

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By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport

They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Everyone's talking about settings and I'm thinking of the poor midgets

Waves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes exactly what I said

Yes as I do! As I said,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly."

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Haha nice one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Small, ugly men...I don't send messages... did you win at charm camp.

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By *aughtierthanyourealiseMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Everyone's talking about settings and I'm thinking of the poor midgets

Waves "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do other men do avoid the message circus?

Am I missing really out?

Is this why little ugly blokes get the pretty women?"

So by your theory, only small ugly men who send messages are twats?

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By *ream3.14159Man
over a year ago

Here & there

I don't message anyone, even if I wanted to I can't because for most on here 40 is the age limit and my profile age is well above that (not my real age by the way). I do reply but not often get messaged.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,"

He’s redeeming himself posting other threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

He’s redeeming himself posting other threads.

Ahh right , causing mayhem elsewhere

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

He’s redeeming himself posting other threads.

Ahh right , causing mayhem elsewhere "

Au contraire, it’s actually a good premise for a thread, encouraging men to be open about their fears. Should assuage some of the eye rolling his ‘confidence’ here garnered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t disagree with everything OP is saying but I message anyway. Got to shoot your shot, I find my issue is my age. Who knows a cougar might find her cub or I might meet someone of a similar age.

I like to think I’m not one of the creeps and come across as polite but you never know.

Woman on here know what they like and what they want, personally wonder they don’t reach out to more guys first....?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,"

I have (unnecessarily) defended myself actually I stated further up that freedom to express what and whom we find ugly is what makes free choice a beautiful thing. IF we all found the same things and people beautiful the world would be a strange place.

But...forum crows will ALWAYS find something to fight over...SO those pulling me up on the ugly word, if you can wholeheartedly swear to yourselves you've never called someone ugly..then fair play to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never used to message many people either only if i saw something funny they said on here i let them cone to me mostly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My inbox is out of control. Unless I’m online and looking at my inbox only the top messages will get read. It’s on 1,553 and even if I block delete it gets in the same state within a couple of days.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

Actually it’s not the use of one word that puts me off, it’s the overriding stench of arrogance that comes through that makes me dry heave.

Love,

A crow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

Actually it’s not the use of one word that puts me off, it’s the overriding stench of arrogance that comes through that makes me dry heave.

Love,

A crow."

Ditto.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My inbox is out of control. Unless I’m online and looking at my inbox only the top messages will get read. It’s on 1,553 and even if I block delete it gets in the same state within a couple of days. "

Mines only 357 how do you keep on top of it ? And know there might be your gorgeous man in there who loves bum licking and cock worship? I just bulk delete , but kinda briefly look.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

Actually it’s not the use of one word that puts me off, it’s the overriding stench of arrogance that comes through that makes me dry heave.

Love,

A crow.

Ditto.x"

That makes me youphoric to hear.

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

"Most women don't file all men in the same category.

The good messages tend to stand out and get replies. "

My goodness you’re hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mines only 357 how do you keep on top of it ? And know there might be your gorgeous man in there who loves bum licking and cock worship? I just bulk delete , but kinda briefly look. "

I can’t keep on top of it. I probably go through 100 or more a day and by the next day more have come in it’s place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

I can one hundred percent say I’ve never said anyone is “ugly”. Maybe about their personality but never ever visually

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

I really don't bother sending message's, there's no point putting in all that effort people seem to demand only to not even get a response. I'll leave them to there hi's and fancy a shag messages

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

Mines only 357 how do you keep on top of it ? And know there might be your gorgeous man in there who loves bum licking and cock worship? I just bulk delete , but kinda briefly look.

I can’t keep on top of it. I probably go through 100 or more a day and by the next day more have come in it’s place. "

Makes sense why most of the messages I send never even get opened. Sending multiple messages to just bump mine to the top makes me feel like a pest and I'd just never do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get the pretty women because they don’t call other guys little and ugly.

I see the OP Hasn’t defended himself,

What do you “define” as ugly? If I see someone who’s say unattractive to me I wouldn’t say they were “ ugly” that’s a really horrible word to describe a person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly. "

Exactly hun. Ugly is a horrible word

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly.

Exactly hun. Ugly is a horrible word "

U...G...L...Y

You ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

- The great Daphne & Celeste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly.

Exactly hun. Ugly is a horrible word

U...G...L...Y

You ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

- The great Daphne & Celeste "

Deflection

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly.

Exactly hun. Ugly is a horrible word

U...G...L...Y

You ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

- The great Daphne & Celeste

Deflection "

With a touch or boredom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the most shallow cunt on here and not even I use the word ugly.

Exactly hun. Ugly is a horrible word

U...G...L...Y

You ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

- The great Daphne & Celeste

Deflection

With a touch or boredom."

Ugly people get bored and small people

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don’t often initiate messages.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

Maybe just maybe the ugly guys get to meet the pretty ladies as they're not afraid to message first. Assuming all pretty ladies have an overflowing inbox is also wrong.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Yes exactly what I said

Yes as I do! As I said, "

I feel like I've annoyed you in some way.

I can't see anywhere where you've said exactly the same things as I did. If you have, then I'm agreeing with not trying to start some kind of competition.

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

"Maybe just maybe the ugly guys get to meet the pretty ladies as they're not afraid to message first. Assuming all pretty ladies have an overflowing inbox is also wrong."

I usually get my message deleted when it’s accompanied with a face pic

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By *aked_magicMan
over a year ago

the gutter looking at the stars (S.Australia)

Im the same as OP - love the forums and happy to pipe up if the subject matter gets my attention but rarely send a first message as i assume ill get lost in the deluge!

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By *lackspiceMan
over a year ago

I only ever message if I find a woman's profile genuinely attractive. I'm honest to myself, confident and secure enough to act on my initial instinct. I therefore never hesitate to message.

I therefore do not care if the message falls into a deluge, is rejected or is responded to by someone I then decide is not as attractive to me as I first imagined. Finding someone with whom I share a mutual attraction makes being concerned by any of that very minor.

I like to compete in life as well as on Fab so numbers do not concern me. I've always enjoyed approaching women in public so getting used to trying to stand out in an electronic message is no great leap.

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By *tarbuck007Man
over a year ago

up2no good

I never message any more not point all men are brushed with the same brush. If I like their pics or profile ill just fab their pics but that's it. My meets have been from clubs so far. My next challenge is to meet nice people from the forum

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

When I was meeting alone I very rarely sent a first message, as a single guy it's just not the best use of your time. Far better results from using other parts of fab to get noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little ugly blokes

Someone’s bitter. Maybe it’s not them that are ugly

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I avoid messaging people too OP

Mainly because it's usually ignored or farcical so dont fret not just men who avoid messaging.

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By *tarbuck007Man
over a year ago

up2no good

"Calling others twats and little ugly blokes??

You sound like a keeper

He got the answer now OP made a runner

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Yes it’s got to the point now you know the messages never get read so thinking what’s the point when you’ve spent time writing a interesting message. It seems you ladies prefer the bad boys who tend to get abusive when they don’t get their own way

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

How you supposed to get to know someone check out the real person if you don’t give them the time to message them

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