FabSwingers.com forum: Is it more socially acceptable to come out as gay than bi?

By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

Im struggling to think of any bi celebrities off the top of my head. Also side question for bi/gay people when did you know? And how did other people take it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im struggling to think of any bi celebrities off the top of my head. Also side question for bi/gay people when did you know? And how did other people take it? "

Interesting point, I've known a couple of women come out as bi sexual, but not men

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

AFAIK Bi people can get an odd wrap from both sides, do to almost being indecisive and vague. As such, those that would shout about the gays, positively or negatively don't have enough to really care about either way. It's more of a "whatever", as, as soon as you're in a heterosexual scenario it doesn't mean anything to most.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My son came out as bi to me. Turns out he wasnt and it was just an experimental phase he was going through. My grandsons 18 year old uncle came out as being bi but apart from that the only celeb i can think of is david bowie thats where i learnt what the word bi sexual ment

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

I think being bisexual can be difficult. People assume you are greedy, are a cheat, cant make your mind up. I've had partners (men and women) become obsessed that I will leave them for a partner of the opposite sex. Some people also believe that bisexuals exclude trans and non binary people (which isn't the case) so assume they are transphobic. I don't think it's easier or harder coming out as gay than it is bisexual, I think both sexualities have their own struggles and a particular way some people perceive them.

Gem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im struggling to think of any bi celebrities off the top of my head. Also side question for bi/gay people when did you know? And how did other people take it? "

David Walliams is openly bi but apart from that struggle to name another.

Why does society need these celebrities to announce their sexual lives anyway its called private life for a reason

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

Ooh I think michelle Rodriguez is bi and Billy Joe Armstrong Kristin Stewart and lady gaga are too

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Im struggling to think of any bi celebrities off the top of my head. Also side question for bi/gay people when did you know? And how did other people take it?

David Walliams is openly bi but apart from that struggle to name another."

Right, and he's married to a woman lady female, so that status is not seen to have any meaning to it, as (given he obviously wouldn't swing or anything... right??) he's not going anywhere near men, so he's just a straight man who's a bit camp, that's all. That's the mass public perspective on it I mean...

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By *northernsoulMan
over a year ago

Manchester

In my experience, I don't scream it from the rooftops. If asked, I'll tell, and that's that. It's a weird one, because you can get negativity from both sides - believe me, gay people aren't automatically more accepting.

How did I know? As a man, any slight inkling that you found other men attractive, especially as a teenager growing up in the 90s made me assume I must be gay, because my sheltered view on the world at that age wasn't aware of the spectrum that is sexuality and all the shades between 'gay' and 'straight'.

Time passed, and I still fancied women most of the time, that's never changed. If I had to use labels, I'd say I'm a straight-leaning bi man now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight

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By *northernsoulMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight"

In that case, most people are very wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight

In that case, most people are very wrong."
obvs they are but i for one had no idea bi was a thing until i joined fab thought it was made up for porn

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By *northernsoulMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Hahaha! There's now't as queer as folk, so the saying goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just think Philip did well admitting that and not his fetish for gophers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From reading these forums over the years it's been quite plain to see the trends.

Women can be lesbian with no problems at all

Women can be bisexual and if she's single then sado's salivate over them calling them Unicorns

Men can be gay with no problems

Men saying their bisexual gets a lot of comments saying their dirty, disease ridden, wouldn't touch with a barge pole etc etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only one person outside of Fab knows I’m bisexual. I don’t feel the need to tell anyone else at is purely a sexual/social interest and as it stands extremely unlikely it would ever be romantic. I spent most of my life assuming I was straight and I am much more attracted to women generally than men, although that is becoming more fluid as I become increasingly at one with my sexuality.

I didn’t really appreciate the idea of bisexuality until the last 20 years or so. I think that society is still steeped in dichotomous thinking and spectrum possibilities are only really just being understood.

One interesting programme I watched relatively recently was done by Ben Dover’s son, the young actor who played the eldest child in the comedy series Outnumbered.

He was exploring his own sexuality and the notions of fluid sexuality and different gender identities. It culminated in him performing as a drag queen in a drag act. It was a really good exploration of his increasing awareness of his own sexuality. If I remember rightly he came out as bisexual after the programme. I recall few male celebrities that have come out as bisexual beyond the ones mentioned, as bisexuality was often seen as a confusion state before coming out as gay. However there are more and more where there is conjecture. Robbie Williams and Cristiano Ronaldo immediately spring to mind. Female bisexuality is for sure more accepted and sapphic public performances watched with glee

We are certainly evolving in the right direction...

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"In my experience, I don't scream it from the rooftops. If asked, I'll tell, and that's that. It's a weird one, because you can get negativity from both sides - believe me, gay people aren't automatically more accepting.

Time passed, and I still fancied women most of the time, that's never changed. If I had to use labels, I'd say I'm a straight-leaning bi man now."

I agree. Some of the worst abuse I've had has come from gay men.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight

In that case, most people are very wrong."

Again, I agree with you.

The simple fact is that people don't recognise that being bi is 'real'. The need for many to see things in binary options is remarkably strong.

Obviously this thread has been influenced by Philip Schofield coming out today, something that has obviously taken a lot of strength on his part. Personally though, I would definitely say that he's bi, not gay.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

There are some: Drew Barrymore, Angelina Jolie and Tom Daley for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are some: Drew Barrymore, Angelina Jolie and Tom Daley for example. "

Tom Daley has been very good at describing it. He retracted his statement about being gay and started talking about being queer. His interview have been very good. I missed some of it but your prompt was good as it caused me to check it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time passed, and I still fancied women most of the time, that's never changed. If I had to use labels, I'd say I'm a straight-leaning bi man now.

I agree. Some of the worst abuse I've had has come from gay men. "

I have never received any abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anna Paquin and Drew Barrymore are both bi.

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By *ablo minibar123 OP Woman
over a year ago

"Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight

In that case, most people are very wrong.

Again, I agree with you.

The simple fact is that people don't recognise that being bi is 'real'. The need for many to see things in binary options is remarkably strong.

I can't help thinkng surely he has to be bi to a certain extent, yet he chose to come out as gay, if I was his wife I'd be more offended by that. Did his agent think maybe th epublic would be more understanding if he was fully homo sexual, I guess we will never know

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Bi isnt a real thing to most people out there it gay or straight

In that case, most people are very wrong.

Again, I agree with you.

The simple fact is that people don't recognise that being bi is 'real'. The need for many to see things in binary options is remarkably strong.

He's not the only one that's done the same over the years; married, children, etc, then announced that they were gay. I do think that an awful lot of people (both straight and gay) simply don't recognise bisexuality as being real.

Much the same as you, I wonder how it would have been received had he come out as a non binary option...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bowie was Bi

I think John Barrowman is too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son came out to me when he was 17. I had known for years.

I was so proud of him for being himself.

Sadly he struggled with others and that is a reflection on them and not him.

He still feels that he needs to hide it in some situations which makes me feel quite sad. You'd hope in 2020 we would be completely accepting in all situations.

My son has friends who say he's lucky to have been supported but I couldn't be any other way, it's not luck it's just how it is. I saw no difference between him moving in with a guy than I would have a girl.

I feel for people who have to live in the shadows and I'm very proud of anyone who comes out publicly or not.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’m bi. I don’t bother mentioning it to anyone. I didn’t realise till I was in my 40’s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes its in your jeans

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