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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here."  | |||
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"Love yourself first and others will follow" This | |||
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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here." | |||
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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here." The forums are a hotbed of judgement, in this they mirror the outside world. As with the outside world we can ignore those that spew toxic drivel loosely justified by the statements “my opinion....”. “Just banter....” There will always be desperately unhappy or unfulfilled people in this life that deem themselves so low of value that they contrive ways to drag others into their pits so that they may shine. Justice, an element of judgement is blind. Don’t like, don’t look, but more importantly shhhhhh. | |||
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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here. The forums are a hotbed of judgement, in this they mirror the outside world. As with the outside world we can ignore those that spew toxic drivel loosely justified by the statements “my opinion....”. “Just banter....” There will always be desperately unhappy or unfulfilled people in this life that deem themselves so low of value that they contrive ways to drag others into their pits so that they may shine. Justice, an element of judgement is blind. Don’t like, don’t look, but more importantly shhhhhh." Definitely. I'll just be over here sticking my fingers in the air at all that bullshit. | |||
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"I joined Fab as a BBW. I was sexually desirable then, I had lovely curves and in particular ample breasts. The reasons I was the weight I was are immaterial, and I neither seek nor want anyone's approval for those reasons. It is/ was my body, which I grew to accept and love. That's fucking tough in this image obsessed fat phobic society, and everybody (every body) deserves to be celebrated. It was tough in its own ways. Today I'm athletic, a regular weight lifter. As I've said before, an injury has been my motivation. My self acceptance has not become vanity as my body fat has decreased. I don't think I'm superior, I don't walk around staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, I'm proud of my muscles, but it's a private, personal pride. I did that, I changed that about myself. I'm doing well at my hobby, despite it being hard work and despite getting different stick for it. I was beautiful. I am beautiful. So are you."  | |||
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"I joined Fab as a BBW. I was sexually desirable then, I had lovely curves and in particular ample breasts. The reasons I was the weight I was are immaterial, and I neither seek nor want anyone's approval for those reasons. It is/ was my body, which I grew to accept and love. That's fucking tough in this image obsessed fat phobic society, and everybody (every body) deserves to be celebrated. It was tough in its own ways. Today I'm athletic, a regular weight lifter. As I've said before, an injury has been my motivation. My self acceptance has not become vanity as my body fat has decreased. I don't think I'm superior, I don't walk around staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, I'm proud of my muscles, but it's a private, personal pride. I did that, I changed that about myself. I'm doing well at my hobby, despite it being hard work and despite getting different stick for it. I was beautiful. I am beautiful. So are you." This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautiful  | |||
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"I joined Fab as a BBW. I was sexually desirable then, I had lovely curves and in particular ample breasts. The reasons I was the weight I was are immaterial, and I neither seek nor want anyone's approval for those reasons. It is/ was my body, which I grew to accept and love. That's fucking tough in this image obsessed fat phobic society, and everybody (every body) deserves to be celebrated. It was tough in its own ways. Today I'm athletic, a regular weight lifter. As I've said before, an injury has been my motivation. My self acceptance has not become vanity as my body fat has decreased. I don't think I'm superior, I don't walk around staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, I'm proud of my muscles, but it's a private, personal pride. I did that, I changed that about myself. I'm doing well at my hobby, despite it being hard work and despite getting different stick for it. I was beautiful. I am beautiful. So are you. This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautiful "Yes, forgive my imprecision. Of value and should be celebrated, not sniped at and put down. I trust you see the spirit of what I said  | |||
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"I joined Fab as a BBW. I was sexually desirable then, I had lovely curves and in particular ample breasts. The reasons I was the weight I was are immaterial, and I neither seek nor want anyone's approval for those reasons. It is/ was my body, which I grew to accept and love. That's fucking tough in this image obsessed fat phobic society, and everybody (every body) deserves to be celebrated. It was tough in its own ways. Today I'm athletic, a regular weight lifter. As I've said before, an injury has been my motivation. My self acceptance has not become vanity as my body fat has decreased. I don't think I'm superior, I don't walk around staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, I'm proud of my muscles, but it's a private, personal pride. I did that, I changed that about myself. I'm doing well at my hobby, despite it being hard work and despite getting different stick for it. I was beautiful. I am beautiful. So are you." Hello fellow lifter and women with muscles! I share your pride in how lifting has changed my body for the better (in my view). | |||
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"Yeah twas ever thus. You just can't win. It's rare that someone who is body confident and isn't afraid to say so is praised in the same way as someone who is less so. I don't get it, I'll never understand it but its how things are" I'm often circumspect about my pride, or I talk about things like "lifting like a girl" (imagine an impish grin and sarcastic tone) rather than "hey I look good". I suppose I'm talking more about the kind of comments we see over and over about the vain and self obsessed or the (insert fattening food) (insert fatphobic slur) or whatever. It's just not necessary. | |||
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"I joined Fab as a BBW. I was sexually desirable then, I had lovely curves and in particular ample breasts. The reasons I was the weight I was are immaterial, and I neither seek nor want anyone's approval for those reasons. It is/ was my body, which I grew to accept and love. That's fucking tough in this image obsessed fat phobic society, and everybody (every body) deserves to be celebrated. It was tough in its own ways. Today I'm athletic, a regular weight lifter. As I've said before, an injury has been my motivation. My self acceptance has not become vanity as my body fat has decreased. I don't think I'm superior, I don't walk around staring at myself in the mirror. Yes, I'm proud of my muscles, but it's a private, personal pride. I did that, I changed that about myself. I'm doing well at my hobby, despite it being hard work and despite getting different stick for it. I was beautiful. I am beautiful. So are you. This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautiful
Yes, forgive my imprecision. Of value and should be celebrated, not sniped at and put down. I trust you see the spirit of what I said "If you were talking about what is perceived as physical beauty, then of course that's always a subjective judgment and differs in different times and places. What any given society perceives as beauty at any given point is essentially the majority opinion in that society at that point . So if someone doesn't fit that majority perception, they can always recall that judgment of beauty is indeed subjective and thus argue they, are, in fact, beautiful but I'm not sure that's particularly helpful in navigating life. If you're not beautiful by the standards of your society, it seems to me its better to be aware of that and not beat yourself up about it. I'm 53 with saggy skin and no hair. It's obvious I'm not beautiful as socially defined. I'd feel pretty daft if I thought I was. | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu" Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare. 
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
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"Everyone is beautiful, the only persons opinion on themselves that should matter is their own opinion. Self love takes time and work and there are many out there seeking to destroy your self image for their own gratification, it is important to hold on to your own self worth with both hands and love yourself first." My journey of self-love has been such incredibly hard work. I can't even tell you. Mostly, unless I'm thinking specifically about it, I just accept my body these days. It's just there. I used to be full of self-loathing and it'd come up a lot. I let it go as a BBW. Last week I caught a glimpse of myself in the gym mirror (yes, the gym has mirrors, yes, glimpses happen) and realised that my physique has been one I used to admire and find intimidating. It was one of those lovely punches to the gut. (no, jokers who know me, please don't hit me in the stomach, yes I know my abs need work yada yada ) | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
"No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks. | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks. "For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision. | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision. "So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks | |||
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"Yeah twas ever thus. You just can't win. It's rare that someone who is body confident and isn't afraid to say so is praised in the same way as someone who is less so. I don't get it, I'll never understand it but its how things are" That's probably a British national trait - we don't like seeing anyone get "too big for their boots" and we like to "bring them down a peg or two" People are, by and large, morons.... | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks "You know what, that's a good working strategy x  | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks "Yes, and we should appreciate people as they are. Even if that appreciation is a mere respect for their humanity and having the restraint to STFU rather than be insulting. So, don't be a dick (in general not you), and self acceptance and love. | |||
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"I never allow other people's insecurities to get under my skin. " That's because you're fucking amazing. | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks
You know what, that's a good working strategy x
"I agree. Beauty doesn't really enter into it | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks
Yes, and we should appreciate people as they are. Even if that appreciation is a mere respect for their humanity and having the restraint to STFU rather than be insulting.
So, don't be a dick (in general not you), and self acceptance and love."I agree one shouldn't be gratuitously insulting but one also shouldn't feed people comforting illusions. Those always end up rebounding. | |||
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"I was engaging in hyperbole or I misspoke. Lord "I a lawyer. Imprecise language does my head in (not literally...) | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks
Yes, and we should appreciate people as they are. Even if that appreciation is a mere respect for their humanity and having the restraint to STFU rather than be insulting.
So, don't be a dick (in general not you), and self acceptance and love.
I agree one shouldn't be gratuitously insulting but one also shouldn't feed people comforting illusions. Those always end up rebounding. "Sure. But shaming also tends towards unhealthy relationships with bodies, etc. There's a balance to be had, and sometimes the answer is to say nothing (which is one I take more often than many realise). | |||
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"I was engaging in hyperbole or I misspoke. Lord
I a lawyer. Imprecise language does my head in (not literally...) "I know haha. I'm sorry for engaging in (probably) above average dialogue for the venue, that doesn't meet your exacting standards | |||
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"I'm probably one of the most obese (technical term) people on here, but I like being big. I treat people the way I'd want to be treated and that's the best I can do. I get called names, but at least I know that people like the inner me and I make others smile. That makes my day. " That you do, Chunky, and more power to your elbow, I say | |||
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"Love yourself first and others will follow This "Those | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks
Yes, and we should appreciate people as they are. Even if that appreciation is a mere respect for their humanity and having the restraint to STFU rather than be insulting.
So, don't be a dick (in general not you), and self acceptance and love.
I agree one shouldn't be gratuitously insulting but one also shouldn't feed people comforting illusions. Those always end up rebounding.
Sure. But shaming also tends towards unhealthy relationships with bodies, etc. There's a balance to be had, and sometimes the answer is to say nothing (which is one I take more often than many realise)."On another thread there's a large guy specifically asking if being large will reduce his chances of action at a club. To me it's bleeding obvious that it will. Doesn't make it impossible, but given he doesn't adhere to majority opinion as to what constitutes an attractive shape it follows that the majority will not find him attractive. He got the usual "there's someone for everyone" comforting replies whilst I tried, sensitively, to describe what is likely to happen. It seems to me that the former approach doesn't do guys like him any good and is just likely to lead to upset and disappointment. | |||
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" This is a bit of a devils advocate point, but by definition not everyone can be "beautiful", given that "beautiful" is a comparative term in that it only has meaning if some people are beautiful if some aren't. Thus if everyone is beautiful then no one is. If you say every human being is beautiful then "beautiful" is then just a synonym for "human being" and has no other meaning. If you actually mean that you all human beings have value I'd agree with you, but the pedant in me can't agree that everyone is beautifu Beauty and beautiful are only comparative it you are saying "more beautiful than..." or "less beautiful than". It is perfectly possible to see the beauty of something or someone in and of themselves without having to compare.
Or am I being a semantic pendant?
No, it's a comparative term. It has no meaning otherwise. Just as no one can be tall unless other people are not tall or no men can have big cocks if some men don't have big cocks.
For the purposes of, I meant having worth and being acceptable, rather than a target of derision.
So you're basically saying it's not nice to insult people on the basis of their looks
Yes, and we should appreciate people as they are. Even if that appreciation is a mere respect for their humanity and having the restraint to STFU rather than be insulting.
So, don't be a dick (in general not you), and self acceptance and love.
I agree one shouldn't be gratuitously insulting but one also shouldn't feed people comforting illusions. Those always end up rebounding.
Sure. But shaming also tends towards unhealthy relationships with bodies, etc. There's a balance to be had, and sometimes the answer is to say nothing (which is one I take more often than many realise).
On another thread there's a large guy specifically asking if being large will reduce his chances of action at a club. To me it's bleeding obvious that it will. Doesn't make it impossible, but given he doesn't adhere to majority opinion as to what constitutes an attractive shape it follows that the majority will not find him attractive.
He got the usual "there's someone for everyone" comforting replies whilst I tried, sensitively, to describe what is likely to happen. It seems to me that the former approach doesn't do guys like him any good and is just likely to lead to upset and disappointment. "Yes. And I saw that and appreciated your approach. There are ways and ways of doing it, and most lack your sensitivity. | |||
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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here." Agree! I’m not everyone’s taste, nor do I want to be, but been criticised for not having decent breasts- coming from a woman constantly told she has perfect boobs, it was a bit mean. Too tattooed, not big breasted, not slim enough, not big enough, heck, the list goes on...but not my problem if I don’t match their ideal! I like me, INI likes me, and I won’t let anyone knock my confidence. I know my worth! xx | |||
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"Seen a bit of sniping recently around here. People shouldn't be proud of themselves or their bodies for whatever reason. Insults, blah blah. You're allowed to like what you like, but... gee isn't life too short. We're all lovely as we are (although not necessarily other people's type). We all have reasons for being the way we are. The sniping is the only really ugly thing here. Agree! I’m not everyone’s taste, nor do I want to be, but been criticised for not having decent breasts- coming from a woman constantly told she has perfect boobs, it was a bit mean. Too tattooed, not big breasted, not slim enough, not big enough, heck, the list goes on...but not my problem if I don’t match their ideal! I like me, INI likes me, and I won’t let anyone knock my confidence. I know my worth! xx" Absolutely. I'm not really kinky because my piercings are old school and I don't have any tattoos. My hair's too short. I'm too fat/ thin/ muscular. Glasses aren't sexy. Dresses to the knee are an abomination unto boner. Blah blah blah shove it up your arse. | |||
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"I haven't seen much sniping to be honest. I think by and large people on the forums are more accepting and non judgemental about someone's looks, size, body shape etc. than out in the real world. "We're probably in different threads. Happens. I've noticed the trolling about my body change very much over my time here, and I care a whole lot less than I did. | |||
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"I haven't seen much sniping to be honest. I think by and large people on the forums are more accepting and non judgemental about someone's looks, size, body shape etc. than out in the real world.
We're probably in different threads. Happens.
I've noticed the trolling about my body change very much over my time here, and I care a whole lot less than I did."Maybe it's because I'm a bloke but I notice more the telling of people what I call comforting illusions ("yes dear, if you're a 20 stone 55 year old bloke who can't accomodate you'll get a meet, you just need patience"), then I do people being horrible about someone's looks. | |||
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"I haven't seen much sniping to be honest. I think by and large people on the forums are more accepting and non judgemental about someone's looks, size, body shape etc. than out in the real world.
We're probably in different threads. Happens.
I've noticed the trolling about my body change very much over my time here, and I care a whole lot less than I did.
Maybe it's because I'm a bloke but I notice more the telling of people what I call comforting illusions ("yes dear, if you're a 20 stone 55 year old bloke who can't accomodate you'll get a meet, you just need patience"), then I do people being horrible about someone's looks. "I started this thread after a handful of fairly nasty examples I've seen in the last few days. Maybe not truly nasty by Fab standards but... that's saying very, very little  | |||
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"It's one of those things, it's been a very long, very difficult journey for me. It's accelerated since joining Fab, and I'm just past my two year anniversary. I shook with fear the first few times. Who could ever accept me, accept (gestures at self) this? I found myself deliberately repelling people - them wanting me must be some kind of wind up, right? It's been, as I've said before, a side effect of my psychological recovery. But I accept, even appreciate myself as I am. And people can take me or leave me, and that's on them (or not), not me. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got." Genuine question and not meant in a derogatory way, but did you not see that it was basically possession of a vagina that saw you get lots of messages. It's interesting seeing this from a female point of view. To me it's obvious that given the ratios on here and most mens lack of discrimination, any woman offering no relationship sex is going to get inundated with messages. It seems a little strange to me that you think that attention might be a wind up. | |||
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"It's one of those things, it's been a very long, very difficult journey for me. It's accelerated since joining Fab, and I'm just past my two year anniversary. I shook with fear the first few times. Who could ever accept me, accept (gestures at self) this? I found myself deliberately repelling people - them wanting me must be some kind of wind up, right? It's been, as I've said before, a side effect of my psychological recovery. But I accept, even appreciate myself as I am. And people can take me or leave me, and that's on them (or not), not me. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. Genuine question and not meant in a derogatory way, but did you not see that it was basically possession of a vagina that saw you get lots of messages. It's interesting seeing this from a female point of view. To me it's obvious that given the ratios on here and most mens lack of discrimination, any woman offering no relationship sex is going to get inundated with messages. It seems a little strange to me that you think that attention might be a wind up. " I worked that out incredibly quickly, yes. Which is why I learned to filter messages and correspondents in the way I do (although I'm probably too harsh these days). I was fortunate enough to meet some people very quickly who saw me as I was and continue to see me as I am, or else I wouldn't have stayed. I'm not stupid enough to take 99.9% of what I hear on here as anything other than self serving horse shit. But I've made real friends and experienced real growth. Yes, I shag/ have shagged some of those friends. And I'm sure for some of them it was initially just a shag. But it's become more than that. My self esteem was low enough that I didn't realise that the revolting "any hole is a goal" desperation of many of the guys on here would overcome my perceived inadequacies. That's on me, and I'm better now. | |||
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"It's one of those things, it's been a very long, very difficult journey for me. It's accelerated since joining Fab, and I'm just past my two year anniversary. I shook with fear the first few times. Who could ever accept me, accept (gestures at self) this? I found myself deliberately repelling people - them wanting me must be some kind of wind up, right? It's been, as I've said before, a side effect of my psychological recovery. But I accept, even appreciate myself as I am. And people can take me or leave me, and that's on them (or not), not me. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. Genuine question and not meant in a derogatory way, but did you not see that it was basically possession of a vagina that saw you get lots of messages. It's interesting seeing this from a female point of view. To me it's obvious that given the ratios on here and most mens lack of discrimination, any woman offering no relationship sex is going to get inundated with messages. It seems a little strange to me that you think that attention might be a wind up. I worked that out incredibly quickly, yes. Which is why I learned to filter messages and correspondents in the way I do (although I'm probably too harsh these days). I was fortunate enough to meet some people very quickly who saw me as I was and continue to see me as I am, or else I wouldn't have stayed. I'm not stupid enough to take 99.9% of what I hear on here as anything other than self serving horse shit. But I've made real friends and experienced real growth. Yes, I shag/ have shagged some of those friends. And I'm sure for some of them it was initially just a shag. But it's become more than that. My self esteem was low enough that I didn't realise that the revolting "any hole is a goal" desperation of many of the guys on here would overcome my perceived inadequacies. That's on me, and I'm better now." I wouldn't be so harsh on the chaps I reckon (and I include myself in this) that 90% of us would cheerfully shag 90% of the women on here given the chance. That's because we genuinely find that percentage of women physically attractive.
The only difference I've noticed as I have got older is that the urgency has declined. These days I can't be bothered to chase after anyone unless they stand out both physically and personally, maybe 5%. However if any of the other 85% offered it up to me, I wouldn't say no
Whether it's biological or societal, that just seems to be how male sexuality works.
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads." Yes, me too | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too " I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller." You think slim people are insulted more than large people? | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller." There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest" Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest" I think on fab I've heard more insults towards slimmer women "bag of bone's" and describing curvier women as "real women". Though outside of fab I tend to hear more abuse towards larger women. It is a very strange phenomenon | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs" Why don't slim people need bigging up? | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest I think on fab I've heard more insults towards slimmer women "bag of bone's" and describing curvier women as "real women". Though outside of fab I tend to hear more abuse towards larger women. It is a very strange phenomenon " A lot of it is blokes desperate for a shag trying to ingratiate themselves with the larger ladies. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? " Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest I think on fab I've heard more insults towards slimmer women "bag of bone's" and describing curvier women as "real women". Though outside of fab I tend to hear more abuse towards larger women. It is a very strange phenomenon A lot of it is blokes desperate for a shag trying to ingratiate themselves with the larger ladies. " God yeah they try it with me forgetting I'm bi and my preference is for slimmer women. They get a hard shock when I highlight that fact. | |||
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"Love yourself first and others will follow" Totally agree | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. " Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit" Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shit | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. " Obviously being slim doesn't solve all your problems . What I meant is that slim people don't need reassuring that their size doesn't render them unattractive, because the default "attractive" body shape is slim.
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"I really don't want to turn this into an us versus them thread "Isn't slim people complaining about people insulting their body shape a bit like white people complaining about racism towards them? | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. Obviously being slim doesn't solve all your problems . What I meant is that slim people don't need reassuring that their size doesn't render them unattractive, because the default "attractive" body shape is slim.
"Slim people suffer with body confidence issues and need reassurance too. Anyway I'll leave it there as the op has asked us not to take it in this direction. | |||
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"I really don't want to turn this into an us versus them thread
Isn't slim people complaining about people insulting their body shape a bit like white people complaining about racism towards them? "Quite possibly, but I was really thinking about sniping being bad, and us being able to build ourselves up, where and how we are. Whether that's bigger, smaller, in between, or something else. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. Obviously being slim doesn't solve all your problems . What I meant is that slim people don't need reassuring that their size doesn't render them unattractive, because the default "attractive" body shape is slim.
Slim people suffer with body confidence issues and need reassurance too.
Anyway I'll leave it there as the op has asked us not to take it in this direction. "Indeed, we are all have our insecurities but, objectively, overweight people get more negative reactions about their weight than slim people. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. Obviously being slim doesn't solve all your problems . What I meant is that slim people don't need reassuring that their size doesn't render them unattractive, because the default "attractive" body shape is slim.
Slim people suffer with body confidence issues and need reassurance too.
Anyway I'll leave it there as the op has asked us not to take it in this direction.
Indeed, we are all have our insecurities but, objectively, overweight people get more negative reactions about their weight than slim people. "I agree but is that significant to the individual being insulted at the time? | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shit" no i dont trust the internet anymore now gonna do it the old fashioned way stop eating food and eat ice for a few weeks that will shift it | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shit" hmmmm just googled it there all from sydney university  | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shithmmmm just googled it there all from sydney university "You're totally fucked now | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shithmmmm just googled it there all from sydney university
You're totally fucked now "love how its a health site and its first message is telling me how many cookies it has and do i want one | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shithmmmm just googled it there all from sydney university
You're totally fucked now love how its a health site and its first message is telling me how many cookies it has and do i want one " | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. Obviously being slim doesn't solve all your problems . What I meant is that slim people don't need reassuring that their size doesn't render them unattractive, because the default "attractive" body shape is slim.
Slim people suffer with body confidence issues and need reassurance too.
Anyway I'll leave it there as the op has asked us not to take it in this direction.
Indeed, we are all have our insecurities but, objectively, overweight people get more negative reactions about their weight than slim people.
I agree but is that significant to the individual being insulted at the time? "Obviously any insult can be upsetting. I think that, however, slim people referred to on here as a "stick insect" or some such are more likely to shrug it off and put it down to jealousy than an overweight person insulted in a similar way. That's because some people ARE jealous of a slim person's body shape. That doesn't apply to overweight people. | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. " I got given crap off a larger lady as I said I was feeling insecure about my looks one night. She was sarcastic and said I had no reason to say anything, I was a skinny bitch! Pointed out that how we perceive ourselves may not be how others do. I was only slim at the time as had an eating disorder, but no one sees that. If I’d have insulted her, there would have be uproar, but it was ok to do so to me. Everyone, regardless of their size, likes a confidence boost and to feel appreciated xx | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. I got given crap off a larger lady as I said I was feeling insecure about my looks one night. She was sarcastic and said I had no reason to say anything, I was a skinny bitch! Pointed out that how we perceive ourselves may not be how others do. I was only slim at the time as had an eating disorder, but no one sees that. If I’d have insulted her, there would have be uproar, but it was ok to do so to me. Everyone, regardless of their size, likes a confidence boost and to feel appreciated xx" Should point out, that wasn’t on here, it was when I was in my late twenties xx | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. I got given crap off a larger lady as I said I was feeling insecure about my looks one night. She was sarcastic and said I had no reason to say anything, I was a skinny bitch! Pointed out that how we perceive ourselves may not be how others do. I was only slim at the time as had an eating disorder, but no one sees that. If I’d have insulted her, there would have be uproar, but it was ok to do so to me. Everyone, regardless of their size, likes a confidence boost and to feel appreciated xx Should point out, that wasn’t on here, it was when I was in my late twenties xx" I think the problem comes when people start imposing their own particular preferences on others and think it’s acceptable to snipe and to be mean. Been a few incidences where a positive body image thread has led to people who don’t like that particular look using it as a platform to put forward their views. That in itself isn’t a problem, debate is good, but it’s when it becomes derogatory and almost accusatory, that the person has mental health issues, underlying childhood issues, lazy, bad eating habits etc, that it becomes unacceptable. If we all liked the same thing it would be terribly boring xx | |||
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"Iv got fat cos google gym experts are full of shit Have you looked into the James Smith academy? He often explains why the internet calculators are shithmmmm just googled it there all from sydney university
You're totally fucked now love how its a health site and its first message is telling me how many cookies it has and do i want one "true story | |||
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"I see it especially on the slim body appreciation threads. Yes, me too I'm reacting to it in both directions at the moment, actually. But yes, there is probably more overall forum acceptance of larger over smaller. There is. It's noticeable that not one thread started in appreciation of slim women can run successfully yet there are well over 1000 in the appreciation of BBW. I'm not sure what that says about fab fora and wider society to be honest Because slim people don't need bigging up because they accord with conventional societal beliefs about body shape. It's the opposite for BBWs Why don't slim people need bigging up? Because very few slim people would wish to be overweight whereas many overweight people wish to be slim. Being slim is generally seen as socially desirable whilst being overweight is not. Oh you mean in general rather than individually. I was extremely slender for years and would get comments from people such as "skinny cow/bitch" or "it's alright for you, you're slim" as if the size of my body rendered me immune to insult and life's disasters. I got given crap off a larger lady as I said I was feeling insecure about my looks one night. She was sarcastic and said I had no reason to say anything, I was a skinny bitch! Pointed out that how we perceive ourselves may not be how others do. I was only slim at the time as had an eating disorder, but no one sees that. If I’d have insulted her, there would have be uproar, but it was ok to do so to me. Everyone, regardless of their size, likes a confidence boost and to feel appreciated xx Should point out, that wasn’t on here, it was when I was in my late twenties xx I think the problem comes when people start imposing their own particular preferences on others and think it’s acceptable to snipe and to be mean. Been a few incidences where a positive body image thread has led to people who don’t like that particular look using it as a platform to put forward their views. That in itself isn’t a problem, debate is good, but it’s when it becomes derogatory and almost accusatory, that the person has mental health issues, underlying childhood issues, lazy, bad eating habits etc, that it becomes unacceptable. If we all liked the same thing it would be terribly boring xx" Good points | |||
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