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" A.If cats are dicks (as commonly thought by many) then why does 'pussy' relate to foofs and not knobs? B.If cats really have 9 lives then why aren't we training them to do dangerous jobs such as bomb disposal or firefighting? C.Why do cats shred loo rolls? Is it because some make them shit in a gravelly box? Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? " A.Pussies (cats) are soft, warm and furry but have an element of danger to them. Similar to the other type of pussy. B.Cats have 9 "cat" lives, not human equivalents. If a cat can't find a carelessly thrown Dreamie, it will consider that life over. They are drama queens. C. Because it's fun watching the roll spin round, and even more fun watching the staff tidying up.  | |||
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"They can lick their own balls " I bet if you could, you would
(How’s the battle with the midriff going?  ) | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A" I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why? | |||
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"They can lick their own balls " Not if they've had 'that' trip to the vets they can't | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?" I too have pondered this very question. When I've needed to cut any of my cats' claws I've noticed that the rear claws are thicker and stronger than those on the front paws. When cats leap, all the strength and grip is from the rear feet so my theory is that they developed stronger claws, but fewer to give them adequate musculature and space for each claw. | |||
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"Answer me this. My mums cat has one shit a day. Now I could go to my mums at 10 in the morning or I could go there at 4 in the afternoon, 6 in the evening, I’m going over there now for tea so it’ll probably happen again but he only has a shit in his litter box when I’m there and it stinks cos it’s in her downstairs toilet and the smell wafts to the sitting room. How does the prick know when I’m coming, like how does he know to hold it until I go there? My mum says when I don’t go there he won’t have one (I’m usually in my mums every day) " I love cats and share my home with 6 of them, but I've found that cats, like humans, are sometimes just a-holes. | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why? I too have pondered this very question. When I've needed to cut any of my cats' claws I've noticed that the rear claws are thicker and stronger than those on the front paws. When cats leap, all the strength and grip is from the rear feet so my theory is that they developed stronger claws, but fewer to give them adequate musculature and space for each claw." Nods. You may be on to something here. | |||
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"They can lick their own balls I bet if you could, you would
(How’s the battle with the midriff going? )"Omg! Are you calling me a whale blubber chub monster!  | |||
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"They can lick their own balls I bet if you could, you would
(How’s the battle with the midriff going? )
Omg! Are you calling me a whale blubber chub monster! "Spare tyre, midlife overhang, call it what you want - was just thinking about you and your quest for a reduction in the belly by June 2020  | |||
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"Answer me this. My mums cat has one shit a day. Now I could go to my mums at 10 in the morning or I could go there at 4 in the afternoon, 6 in the evening, I’m going over there now for tea so it’ll probably happen again but he only has a shit in his litter box when I’m there and it stinks cos it’s in her downstairs toilet and the smell wafts to the sitting room. How does the prick know when I’m coming, like how does he know to hold it until I go there? My mum says when I don’t go there he won’t have one (I’m usually in my mums every day) " Friends grandmas cat is kind of like this. When their cat gets nervous when certain people go to the house it shits. However, when it's just owners in the house it's fine. Their cat even has medication it has to take due to this. Maybe you just trigger the cat to do it when you attend her house? | |||
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"Answer me this. My mums cat has one shit a day. Now I could go to my mums at 10 in the morning or I could go there at 4 in the afternoon, 6 in the evening, I’m going over there now for tea so it’ll probably happen again but he only has a shit in his litter box when I’m there and it stinks cos it’s in her downstairs toilet and the smell wafts to the sitting room. How does the prick know when I’m coming, like how does he know to hold it until I go there? My mum says when I don’t go there he won’t have one (I’m usually in my mums every day) Friends grandmas cat is kind of like this. When their cat gets nervous when certain people go to the house it shits. However, when it's just owners in the house it's fine. Their cat even has medication it has to take due to this. Maybe you just trigger the cat to do it when you attend her house? " Literally scare the shit out of it? | |||
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"Answer me this. My mums cat has one shit a day. Now I could go to my mums at 10 in the morning or I could go there at 4 in the afternoon, 6 in the evening, I’m going over there now for tea so it’ll probably happen again but he only has a shit in his litter box when I’m there and it stinks cos it’s in her downstairs toilet and the smell wafts to the sitting room. How does the prick know when I’m coming, like how does he know to hold it until I go there? My mum says when I don’t go there he won’t have one (I’m usually in my mums every day) Friends grandmas cat is kind of like this. When their cat gets nervous when certain people go to the house it shits. However, when it's just owners in the house it's fine. Their cat even has medication it has to take due to this. Maybe you just trigger the cat to do it when you attend her house? Literally scare the shit out of it? "Nah he follows me everywhere and sits on my lap and wants fuss when I’m here. | |||
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"They can lick their own balls I bet if you could, you would
(How’s the battle with the midriff going? )
Omg! Are you calling me a whale blubber chub monster!
Spare tyre, midlife overhang, call it what you want - was just thinking about you and your quest for a reduction in the belly by June 2020 "it’s getting there  | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?" learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*  | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute* "Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes. | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*
Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes."And they’re really earnest. | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*
Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes.
And they’re really earnest. "Of course they are. They are earnestly cute | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*
Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes.
And they’re really earnest. "I see what you did there | |||
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" A.If cats are dicks (as commonly thought by many) then why does 'pussy' relate to foofs and not knobs? B.If cats really have 9 lives then why aren't we training them to do dangerous jobs such as bomb disposal or firefighting? C.Why do cats shred loo rolls? Is it because some make them shit in a gravelly box? Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A.Pussies (cats) are soft, warm and furry but have an element of danger to them. Similar to the other type of pussy. B.Cats have 9 "cat" lives, not human equivalents. If a cat can't find a carelessly thrown Dreamie, it will consider that life over. They are drama queens. C. Because it's fun watching the roll spin round, and even more fun watching the staff tidying up. "Haha I loved B They ARE drama queens! | |||
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"If cats are dicks (as commonly thought by many) then why does 'pussy' relate to foofs and not knobs? If cats really have 9 lives then why aren't we training them to do dangerous jobs such as bomb disposal or firefighting? Why do cats shred loo rolls? Is it because some make them shit in a gravelly box? Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A" Why do cats only meow to humans, and not use it to communicate with each other | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*
Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes.
And they’re really earnest. "I can’t take it. Too good. This is the thread I’ve been waiting for. | |||
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"If cats are dicks (as commonly thought by many) then why does 'pussy' relate to foofs and not knobs? If cats really have 9 lives then why aren't we training them to do dangerous jobs such as bomb disposal or firefighting? Why do cats shred loo rolls? Is it because some make them shit in a gravelly box? Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A Why do cats only meow to humans, and not use it to communicate with each other" We have pondered this ( we have 6 cats ) and have concluded cats are telepathic with each other. | |||
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" Anything confusing or worrying you about cats? A I’m glad you asked. Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four on the back ones. Why?learn something everyday . I'm off to check my cats toes *back in a minute*
Check out Hemingway cats. They have 6 toes.
And they’re really earnest.
I can’t take it. Too good. This is the thread I’ve been waiting for."Welcome back!! | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface?" Off to test this for you, be right back... | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface?" Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat "I can attest to this being accurate. | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat "I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!! | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!"You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock. | |||
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"Try giving a pissed off siamese any pill, and even with no teeth they can still hurt hahs" A Siamese cat put me in A&E many years ago! | |||
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"Try giving a pissed off siamese any pill, and even with no teeth they can still hurt hahs A Siamese cat put me in A&E many years ago!" Seriously though ive 3 of them and they are the most affectionate cats ive ever known. Follow you round, shout at you, and cuddle you | |||
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"Try giving a pissed off siamese any pill, and even with no teeth they can still hurt hahs A Siamese cat put me in A&E many years ago! Seriously though ive 3 of them and they are the most affectionate cats ive ever known. Follow you round, shout at you, and cuddle you" Mine uses me or the dog or the other cats as a hot water bottle! | |||
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"Try giving a pissed off siamese any pill, and even with no teeth they can still hurt hahs A Siamese cat put me in A&E many years ago! Seriously though ive 3 of them and they are the most affectionate cats ive ever known. Follow you round, shout at you, and cuddle you" They are very affectionate cats , they love attention x | |||
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"Try giving a pissed off siamese any pill, and even with no teeth they can still hurt hahs A Siamese cat put me in A&E many years ago! Seriously though ive 3 of them and they are the most affectionate cats ive ever known. Follow you round, shout at you, and cuddle you" Yeah this one was not too happy about being at the vets | |||
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"In this cold rain and wind, I’ve let my neighbours cat in. She is neglected and unloved. She has sat crying for ages and I’ve let her in. " My Pablo cat is sitting watching “ unamused “ | |||
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"In this cold rain and wind, I’ve let my neighbours cat in. She is neglected and unloved. She has sat crying for ages and I’ve let her in. " My mum dies that with her neighbours cat. Shes bought dreamies and go cat dry as he gets hungry. He will always be popping in now. | |||
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"In this cold rain and wind, I’ve let my neighbours cat in. She is neglected and unloved. She has sat crying for ages and I’ve let her in. My mum dies that with her neighbours cat. Shes bought dreamies and go cat dry as he gets hungry. He will always be popping in now. " She is crying and starving. My 2 cats are in as they are looked after. Obviously this cat isn’t. X | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!
You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock."I met my first Maine coon today. My neighbour's brother brought him to her house...he was magnificent, I've never seen such a beautiful cat before and I want one | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!
You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock.
I met my first Maine coon today. My neighbour's brother brought him to her house...he was magnificent, I've never seen such a beautiful cat before and I want one " When you make friends with a Maine Coon you find out how friendly and clever they are. They are also just as daft as other cats. When mine decide to do battle, it's like a herd of elephants rampaging around the house. | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!
You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock.
I met my first Maine coon today. My neighbour's brother brought him to her house...he was magnificent, I've never seen such a beautiful cat before and I want one
When you make friends with a Maine Coon you find out how friendly and clever they are. They are also just as daft as other cats. When mine decide to do battle, it's like a herd of elephants rampaging around the house. ", Haha! I can imagine, this one was called Typhoon | |||
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"Answer me this. My mums cat has one shit a day. Now I could go to my mums at 10 in the morning or I could go there at 4 in the afternoon, 6 in the evening, I’m going over there now for tea so it’ll probably happen again but he only has a shit in his litter box when I’m there and it stinks cos it’s in her downstairs toilet and the smell wafts to the sitting room. How does the prick know when I’m coming, like how does he know to hold it until I go there? My mum says when I don’t go there he won’t have one (I’m usually in my mums every day) " I literally laughed so fucking hard at this! Probably because i can 110% relate to it haha xxxx | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!
You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock.
I met my first Maine coon today. My neighbour's brother brought him to her house...he was magnificent, I've never seen such a beautiful cat before and I want one "I had a Maine coon years ago. He was so delightful, he was so loving , he was worse than a child for demanding attention, he loved being close. I would have another if I could afford one. X | |||
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"If bread and butter lands butter-side down when dropped, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap bread and butter to a cats' back then drop it from the work surface? Firstly, it will bite and scratch you and escape before you can drop it. Then it will twist round, pull the bread of its back and lick off all the butter. Then it will fart and run off laughing at you. Never try to better a cat
I had to give 4 cats worming liquid every day for 10 days, I am invincible!!
You're a brave woman, and I salute you. I have to give my 6 Maine Coons worming tablets and flea treatment over the next couple of weeks. I've contacted the local blood service to make sure they have my type in stock.
I met my first Maine coon today. My neighbour's brother brought him to her house...he was magnificent, I've never seen such a beautiful cat before and I want one
I had a Maine coon years ago. He was so delightful, he was so loving , he was worse than a child for demanding attention, he loved being close. I would have another if I could afford one. X" | |||
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"My friend has a fridge magnet that says "Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods... and they've never forgotten it"" Yrs, I read that in a Terry Pratchett novel (forget which one). My other favourite quote about cats is that if cats could talk, they wouldn't (I have two, who get on most of the time) | |||
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"They can lick their own balls Not if they've had 'that' trip to the vets they can't "But they can still lick their useless empty nutsack. And do.
B | |||
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"Will our current house guest (a friend's cat) ever stop meowing before 10am? I'm up ffs! Must you whine at me til I scratch your little chin?!
L "Haha
Ours used to do that at 5am, she now realises breakfast is at 8am! | |||
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"Will our current house guest (a friend's cat) ever stop meowing before 10am? I'm up ffs! Must you whine at me til I scratch your little chin?!
L
Haha
Ours used to do that at 5am, she now realises breakfast is at 8am! "I can't even be mad at her...she's too cute! | |||
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"Will our current house guest (a friend's cat) ever stop meowing before 10am? I'm up ffs! Must you whine at me til I scratch your little chin?!
L "One of mine has started whining for her dinner pretty much the moment I get home from work Only in the last week or so, but dinner time has always been 7.30 for the 9 years of her life, so why she's whinging at half 5 is anyone's guess | |||
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"Will our current house guest (a friend's cat) ever stop meowing before 10am? I'm up ffs! Must you whine at me til I scratch your little chin?!
L
Haha
Ours used to do that at 5am, she now realises breakfast is at 8am!
I can't even be mad at her...she's too cute! "Oh they are and know how to use their cuteness to their advantage | |||
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"Will our current house guest (a friend's cat) ever stop meowing before 10am? I'm up ffs! Must you whine at me til I scratch your little chin?!
L
One of mine has started whining for her dinner pretty much the moment I get home from work
Only in the last week or so, but dinner time has always been 7.30 for the 9 years of her life, so why she's whinging at half 5 is anyone's guess"She thinks it's worth a try ! | |||
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"Dogs are pets. Cats are owners. Ask a dog to fetch a stick, it happily will. Ask a cat and he will give you a look of 'get your own f'ing stick.' Ask a dog if it wants to eat a bowl of processed horse feet and such and it will bat around you like a excited schoolboy for sweets. Ask a cat if it wants freshly imported salmon in a sauce and it will walk away saying 'I will let you know'. I dont own my cat, it owns me. I like it that way. Dogs are too fickle (Please dont think I'm hating on dogs, I like em too, just making a silly point)" Yep I get this! | |||
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"Dogs are pets. Cats are owners. Ask a dog to fetch a stick, it happily will. Ask a cat and he will give you a look of 'get your own f'ing stick.' Ask a dog if it wants to eat a bowl of processed horse feet and such and it will bat around you like a excited schoolboy for sweets. Ask a cat if it wants freshly imported salmon in a sauce and it will walk away saying 'I will let you know'. I dont own my cat, it owns me. I like it that way. Dogs are too fickle (Please dont think I'm hating on dogs, I like em too, just making a silly point)" Brilliant x | |||
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"Dogs have owners Cats have staff " | |||
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"Dogs have owners Cats have staff "We now down to them glady. We also know the world is not flat as if it was, cats would of pushed everything off the edge by now. | |||
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"Cats will one day rule the world.... "If you believe the Egyptians, they always have | |||
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"Dogs are pets. Cats are owners. Ask a dog to fetch a stick, it happily will. Ask a cat and he will give you a look of 'get your own f'ing stick.' Ask a dog if it wants to eat a bowl of processed horse feet and such and it will bat around you like a excited schoolboy for sweets. Ask a cat if it wants freshly imported salmon in a sauce and it will walk away saying 'I will let you know'. I dont own my cat, it owns me. I like it that way. Dogs are too fickle (Please dont think I'm hating on dogs, I like em too, just making a silly point) Brilliant x" So true, brilliant. We have 3 cats and love them to bits but they know how to pull our strings! ( well the Mrs’s strings). Jay absolutely adores cats, you have a cat she is putty in your hands | |||
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"Dogs are pets. Cats are owners. Ask a dog to fetch a stick, it happily will. Ask a cat and he will give you a look of 'get your own f'ing stick.' Ask a dog if it wants to eat a bowl of processed horse feet and such and it will bat around you like a excited schoolboy for sweets. Ask a cat if it wants freshly imported salmon in a sauce and it will walk away saying 'I will let you know'. I dont own my cat, it owns me. I like it that way. Dogs are too fickle (Please dont think I'm hating on dogs, I like em too, just making a silly point) Brilliant x So true, brilliant. We have 3 cats and love them to bits but they know how to pull our strings! ( well the Mrs’s strings). Jay absolutely adores cats, you have a cat she is putty in your hands "Luckily I carry a kitten around with me | |||
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"I have a sign that says "This home is maintained exclusively for the comfort of the cat"! I have 4, one of which is a 10 week old kitten- pics available on request!" 
So many jokes....
I would love to see your kitten x
See, I was a gentleman. | |||
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