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So How Are You?

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By *essie. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

When someone asks my default answer is fine, but I asked someone the other day who I don’t see very often and he answered me very honestly. I was glad I’d asked.

We could be better at asking this simple question in a genuine way.

How are you feeling today?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People dont need to get better at asking the question, we need to get better at answering it. Like you, whenever someone asks me my answer is "Fine" regardless of how I feel.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's more of a cultural default. To treat this question as a social nicety, rather than a genuine question. So it gets brushed off. Often people don't want to hear the truth even though they ask, they just want to have it registered that they've expressed well wishes.

I think in order to move past that presumption, you need to press, but only if you have the right kind of relationship.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I usually back up the initial "how are you" with a "no, really, how are you" if I have any concerns about their welfare or looking for something more than the obligatory "fine"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People dont need to get better at asking the question, we need to get better at answering it. Like you, whenever someone asks me my answer is "Fine" regardless of how I feel. "

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"People dont need to get better at asking the question, we need to get better at answering it. Like you, whenever someone asks me my answer is "Fine" regardless of how I feel. "

My usual answer is good thanks, I'm always good. Unless I know someone a little better & don't mind sharing if something is wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm terrible at answering this honestly. If I ask the question to someone I have the right relationship with, I will push gently to make sure they answer honestly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always answer honestly. It is hard to break the ice and start a conversation with someone you don't know or may never meet and as 60% of human communication is nonverbal. Online chat can be a nightmare. So I will forgive a person who may not be as skilled with the written word as another.

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I usually just say fine but if I answer honestly I feel like I’m burdening people with my problems. But honestly I’m not doing good really I barely sleep, I have little appetite and I felt like my life went down the drain. I constantly fear that I’m not good enough and that’s just something conditioned by all my exes.

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

I used always say fine or ok or similar but I'm more honest now . You cant be honest with everyone but it does help to be honest with the right people.

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