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"Well if she is insistent on you accepting a fee then put it to her that she donates it to a charity its a win win all round" good point! xx | |||
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"Say it is your wedding gift to her." i tried that one.. thats what i mean she's stubborn and wont budge on the 'no payment' thing | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me " have you thought of asking her how much she would offer you... and using that money to buy them a wedding present... that way your conscience is clear... or if she really wants to pay you.... say 1 pound.... | |||
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"Remember if you accept money or kind off her it becomes a contract. I would say your best course is the charity route. Explain that you prefer not to charge her at all but if she feels so strongly about giving that a charity is best for all. Remind her that friendship is not measured in money but the love and deeds you do for each other and that you never want money to change that. Hope you are key and pitch prefect " Any agreement or promise constitutes a contract | |||
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"Say it is your wedding gift to her. i tried that one.. thats what i mean she's stubborn and wont budge on the 'no payment' thing " so just tell her you really wont do it for free and that she is offending you by not allowing her to employ you and refuse point blank to do it | |||
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"and yes im aware that i too am being stubborn by refusing payment. Just out of interest is it classed as taxible earnings so how would that work if im not working? " Its called "Cash" in hand... It would be an arse of a taxman who gave a toss about a one off payment which at professional rates should be no more than £200... Mates rates is a lot less, to zero... And a couple of 20s in ya right bra cup is no ones business... Its her day... Take the money and dispense of it how you will afterwards... Dont fall out over such a small thing...;-) | |||
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"Why not just say you have a sore throat xx" i couldnt just shaft my own mate like that xxx | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me " Hmm, Hiya Sassy ,why dont you take the lead and back down , then she cant call you Stubborn let her have her way on her Big Day , but just remind her she owes you one | |||
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"whilst i think it is lovely for people to want their friends involved in their weddings, i also think the idea is a dangerous one. what if you are ill and cant sing? what if she has a favourite version of the song she wants and you do it wrong? what if you fall out over money ? It also might spoil your experience of the wedding, worrying about singing in front of friends and family, having to ask someone to look after your child while you prepare etc" Luckily ive known this mate for best part of 7 years and knows pretty much all the songs i sing, she'd spoke to me about a few song ideas already and id let her hear my versions before the day. Id not take a chance and surprise her by a version she wouldnt like. See what you mean about it might be difficult, naturally id get nervous its one of my good friends and im thrilled she even asked me, but as ive stated i just sing at karaoke and for fun, never done a 'gig' before | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me " If you really want her to not pay you you just say no and mean it. Otherwise your friend could be confused. She can't force you to do sing or take payment. You really are in control in this one. Then put a line under conversations and don't enter into any more convo's about payment. To keep talking about it can sound like false modesty and rather than really meaning no - the 'chat' is perpetuated to keep the adulation and elation going. Generally I find that when people are really against something then the NO is firmly delievered and the message clearly understood. | |||
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" im thrilled she even asked me, but as ive stated i just sing at karaoke and for fun, never done a 'gig' before" If ya nervous tell her theres a gang of up from Fabs coming to help ya with ya top notes... | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me If you really want her to not pay you you just say no and mean it. Otherwise your friend could be confused. She can't force you to do sing or take payment. You really are in control in this one. Then put a line under conversations and don't enter into any more convo's about payment. To keep talking about it can sound like false modesty and rather than really meaning no - the 'chat' is perpetuated to keep the adulation and elation going. Generally I find that when people are really against something then the NO is firmly delievered and the message clearly understood." Yeah i will head down that route | |||
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" See what you mean about it might be difficult, naturally id get nervous its one of my good friends and im thrilled she even asked me, but as ive stated i just sing at karaoke and for fun, never done a 'gig' before" If you really don't want paid for it...tell her you won't do your karaoke if she pays you. Simple. | |||
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"and yes im aware that i too am being stubborn by refusing payment. Just out of interest is it classed as taxible earnings so how would that work if im not working? Its called "Cash" in hand... It would be an arse of a taxman who gave a toss about a one off payment which at professional rates should be no more than £200... Mates rates is a lot less, to zero... And a couple of 20s in ya right bra cup is no ones business... Its her day... Take the money and dispense of it how you will afterwards... Dont fall out over such a small thing...;-)" So exactly when do undeclared earnings become acceptable when someone is on benefits?.....One wedding....one wedding every month?....every Saturday night in clubs and pubs? | |||
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"have you asked WHY she is so intent on paying you?" Its because she's always believed i had it in me to venture out and start making money from singing. I toyed with the idea before my daughter came along and she knew this. Its just not practical to continue with that dream anymore. | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me If you really want her to not pay you you just say no and mean it. Otherwise your friend could be confused. She can't force you to do sing or take payment. You really are in control in this one. Then put a line under conversations and don't enter into any more convo's about payment. To keep talking about it can sound like false modesty and rather than really meaning no - the 'chat' is perpetuated to keep the adulation and elation going. Generally I find that when people are really against something then the NO is firmly delievered and the message clearly understood." Couldn't agree more..... | |||
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" So exactly when do undeclared earnings become acceptable when someone is on benefits?.....One wedding....one wedding every month?....every Saturday night in clubs and pubs? " Legally and morally it is never acceptable... But as Cute is posting about a one off wedding at mates rates, then I dont feel that the British Taxman is going to give a flying foxtrot about it... Of course if the occurrences were to change... Then naturally a discussion based around the new facts would have different connotations...;-) | |||
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"I've a friend getting married and she foolishly wants me to sing at her wedding and asked me how much... as if i'm going to charge my friend money for singing at her wedding! Im not a professional singer, have no major experience in it just a bit of fun. She is insisting i take a fee, but i really couldn't do it or accept it. Wish she'd back down on the idea of paying me " I can sing just find it hard in front of people .. i wish i could get over this as i would love too. | |||
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"lol, the per lassie that posted this op was just saying that her pal wanted to pay her for singing at her wedding! now she is getting accused of being a dole scrounger for some reason! dont you just love it when people jump in, open their mouth and a lot of crap comes spillin out!! lol, " | |||
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"Woahhh excuse me but wtf!! Why should i expect my elderly grandparents to look after my daughter?? My personal circumstances are non of your business" its your life you do as you wish . xx | |||
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"Woahhh excuse me but wtf!! Why should i expect my elderly grandparents to look after my daughter?? My personal circumstances are non of your business" I think it was a suggestion on how you could make singing a professional reality, that was the way the thread as a whole looks. | |||
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"lol, the per lassie that posted this op was just saying that her pal wanted to pay her for singing at her wedding! now she is getting accused of being a dole scrounger for some reason! dont you just love it when people jump in, open their mouth and a lot of crap comes spillin out!! lol, " If I have spouted crap, it's only based on the stuff posted by the OP. The OP brought not being able to work as a singer because of having a kid into the thread... if you look closely. | |||
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"Woahhh excuse me but wtf!! Why should i expect my elderly grandparents to look after my daughter?? My personal circumstances are non of your business" Well as you have posted before about them having a room for her to stop over, I used it as just ONE of the suggestions. Henry Ford had a point.... "whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." It appears you have decided you won't. | |||
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" So exactly when do undeclared earnings become acceptable when someone is on benefits?.....One wedding....one wedding every month?....every Saturday night in clubs and pubs? Legally and morally it is never acceptable... But as Cute is posting about a one off wedding at mates rates, then I dont feel that the British Taxman is going to give a flying foxtrot about it... Of course if the occurrences were to change... Then naturally a discussion based around the new facts would have different connotations...;-)" seriously? My friend had a litter of kittens and she advertised them and sold them for £20 each, she only had 3 kitttens but her ex reported her for selling kittens to the dole office, who interviewed her and passed her details onto the tax man | |||
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"lol, the per lassie that posted this op was just saying that her pal wanted to pay her for singing at her wedding! now she is getting accused of being a dole scrounger for some reason! dont you just love it when people jump in, open their mouth and a lot of crap comes spillin out!! lol, If I have spouted crap, it's only based on the stuff posted by the OP. The OP brought not being able to work as a singer because of having a kid into the thread... if you look closely." so, having a kid makes you a dole scrounger nowadays does it? according to jobcentre figures, there are more working mothers LEAVING full time employment due to the cost of childcare than there are moving INTO employment! doesnt make it the mothers fault she cant afford childcare! or do we just dump our kids on family as you suggest? if we do, doesnt that mean that those family members are unable to work due to watching OUR kid! lol. | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing?" lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing? lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough " quite right! no-one knows your circumstances! and p.s. just give the money your pal gives to a good charity! | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing? lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough quite right! no-one knows your circumstances! and p.s. just give the money your pal gives to a good charity! " | |||
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" seriously? My friend had a litter of kittens and she advertised them and sold them for £20 each, she only had 3 kitttens but her ex reported her for selling kittens to the dole office, who interviewed her and passed her details onto the tax man " Then I stand corrected and with deep sadness admit that I hadnt realised that this country had descended to such a level of poisonous pettymindedness... Makes you proud to be British... In which case Cute... You cant take the money in case one of your countrymen rats you out... *Sigh* | |||
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"just tell her you want £30k in used bank notes, that should put her off " Cash up front then don't turn up A lovely girl like you must have lots of friends | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing?" Just to let people know, being personal about others on the forums is not allowed, as per the forum rules. I am sure people could get their point across without doing so. Below is pasted from the forums rules. "Don't be personal Personal attacks against other site users aren't allowed, even if you don't name them. If you've got a problem with someone on the site, block them. If you've got a problem with what someone writes on the forum just skip over their messages or report to admin if you think they need to take action." You can find all other rules on the link above the box you type your message in. | |||
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"Say it is your wedding gift to her. i tried that one.. thats what i mean she's stubborn and wont budge on the 'no payment' thing " Tell her you only sing for fun and if she insists on paying you then you won't sing. | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing? lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough " If you started a thread saying you were going to leave your daughter with your elderly Grandparents while you sang in pubs and clubs all over the country , no doubt you would get people objecting to that too. I personaly wouldn't do the above while my child was young, as then you are putting yourself above your own children. | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing? lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough If you started a thread saying you were going to leave your daughter with your elderly Grandparents while you sang in pubs and clubs all over the country , no doubt you would get people objecting to that too. I personaly wouldn't do the above while my child was young, as then you are putting yourself above your own children." PS...the "you " and "your" wasn't meant you personally....it was a general comment to anyone who was doing this . | |||
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"I just came onto this thread, curious about the outcome and actually thought I had come to the wrong thread. How did we get to dole scrounging when the thread was about the OP wanting to do something nice for her friend's wedding and not be paid for it? What am I missing? lol its just the way it goes in the forums, but i don't feel i have to explain my decisions so haven't replied. Hopefully it will get closed soon enough If you started a thread saying you were going to leave your daughter with your elderly Grandparents while you sang in pubs and clubs all over the country , no doubt you would get people objecting to that too. I personaly wouldn't do the above while my child was young, as then you are putting yourself above your own children. PS...the "you " and "your" wasn't meant you personally....it was a general comment to anyone who was doing this ." Why? What is wrong with someone doing what they can to make a living rather than expect the state to support them? | |||
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" Why? What is wrong with someone doing what they can to make a living rather than expect the state to support them? " Nothing wrong with that, like i stated just wasn't practical for me and im not going to put my career above the needs of my very young child. | |||
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