FabSwingers.com forum: One year ago today...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

.....I left my husband of 11 years! Although he wasn’t right for me, he’s the most amazing father and probably still my best friend. I’m reflecting over the past year and I can’t believe I am where I am now. Single, happy and liberated!

Anyone else go through a separation last year?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats very positive out of the situation and good on you for still both getting on especially with a child evolved.. its very refreshing

Yes i have early last year too after 19 years although the split was down to me and illness. were both very very good friends and working at things which is nice.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Yep.... but hey m chilled now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good on you , absolutely no need for animosity when children are involved glad all is working out for all

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Didn't happen last year but my marriage ended in 2016 after 13 years. They say distance kills and I certainly agree. She's an amazing mother and person and we've remained friends. We have near identical viewpoints on how to educate our children which is very positive.

I've enjoyed a second bachelorhood and have experienced things I could only have dreamt of a few years ago. Still find it crazy how prior fantasies I thought in the realm of impossibility have now been fulfilled

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By *ister KinkyMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"Anyone else go through a separation last year? "

Yes and sadly I can only wish it was a positive as yours. I never saw the end of the relationship coming, but I’m thankful there were no kids involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I split with my partner a few months back there's still animosity there but as long as I see my kid all the time I'm happy

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By *iglittleoneMan
over a year ago

B76 is home

".....I left my husband of 11 years! Although he wasn’t right for me, he’s the most amazing father and probably still my best friend. I’m reflecting over the past year and I can’t believe I am where I am now. Single, happy and liberated!

Eight years me after twenty years.

Definitely the best thing that has happened to me.

Most people stick together for children and financial reasons.

Anyone else go through a separation last year? "

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not last year but the end of 2017. I split from a toxic relationship after 24 years, think it took me over 10 years to build the courage up. I'm now on a journey of self discovery. I'm not any of the vile, hateful things my ex said I was. I'm learning to love myself and see myself how others do x

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

This time last year I met the man who restored me back to being someone who I had lost in my relationship, after 4 years of anxiety and panic attacks and mistrust of anyone, he saw in me what I couldn't see in myself.

Ever grateful to you georgeous xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I'm happier than I was for a long time. We have no animosity, we just changed our relationship from being a couple to being best of friends, apart from living apart and no sex not much changed!

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Not last year, but the memory of the first night alone without my kids will stay with me. But I know now that we are ALL a lot happier now than we were then.

Me and my kids' mums (2) all get on great, I still get to see them regularly so all is good.

On this day last year I made 2 Facebook friends

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

Yes. And one year ago yesterday I took my name back by deed poll. Couldn't wait for the red tape of divorce so did it online. Felt so much better once I had. Silly thing really but meant a lot to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP it's brilliant that you are so positive about this and I'm really glad things are working out for you.

I'm in the opposite situation, about this time last year my life changed forever and I met the love of my life.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s been 5 years for me OP and I’d say this last year, I’ve found my true freedom and love for life again, 2020 going to be a great year

Its good to hear OP, especially with kids involved, that things are amicable between you and the ex, it makes such a difference. Keep enjoying life

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By *issyEMWoman
over a year ago

Nearly

It would be 15years in relationship which destroyed my as human and woman. Even is 3years past still got the same insecurity but trying my best.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Well done OP. You were brave and made a very difficult choice, but sounds like you made the right one.

Love hearing that others are happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/02/20 11:19:12]

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I need to go through it this year and it’s absolutely terrifying me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else go through a separation last year? "

Yep I am with you on that one hun shame my ex is a waste of space who doesnt bother with his kids

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Hope tbis thread can be an inspiration to anyone who is stuck in an unhappy relationship or marriage, to make changes. It won't be easy but life is too short to be unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need to go through it this year and it’s absolutely terrifying me

It might be terrifying now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it gets better with time

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh it's so freeing, learning to be truly yourself again. I'd lost so much of myself.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"I need to go through it this year and it’s absolutely terrifying me

It's the most difficult thing you probably have ever done, but you will get through it. Try to focus on the positives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s really lovely to hear there’s been so many positive separations. Obviously sometimes there are events (cheating etc) that make it very difficult for it to remain amicable after. When it’s a case of just not loving one another anymore, it’s all about timing. If I’d stayed with my ex for longer then I should have done then it may have become bitter. I feel incredibly lucky that we get on so well now. I’ve just been over his with our children and we had a cuppa and spoke really nicely about our separation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hope tbis thread can be an inspiration to anyone who is stuck in an unhappy relationship or marriage, to make changes. It won't be easy but life is too short to be unhappy."

Exactly! Don’t live an unhappy life. We only do this once!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I need to go through it this year and it’s absolutely terrifying me

It terrified me, but it’s the right thing to do. Please please don’t drag it out longer then you should. You deserve to be happy! Happy to talk if you want any advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It would be 15years in relationship which destroyed my as human and woman. Even is 3years past still got the same insecurity but trying my best. "

Oh I really feel for you. You’re not in that relationship anymore lovely and look at you now! You look like a stunning lady and I hope you can find the confidence you deserve x

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By *urlyCatzWoman
over a year ago

Blackpool

"I need to go through it this year and it’s absolutely terrifying me

It truly is the stuff of nightmares, I've left after 24 years and the guilt trips and emotional crap he spouts are crippling.

I hope your journey is easier.

Also yay and woop to the happiness others have found.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was with my partner for 12 years, we ended up not loving each other anymore and everything felt like a chore for both of us. We called it a day, I now get on better with her than ever, knowing we will never be together again. We have a kid so, it is so important for him to see his parents are cool. Am happier than I have been liking my own company, obviously miss certain things, sex being one, but am in a good place. I am happy to hear you are too Little Miss Saucy, and to all others who have been through it and come out happier.

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

It's coming up to two years for me, we get on better now than we did for years while we were still together. That doesn't mean I don't want to punch him in the throat occasionally when he's being a dick of course. We're happier, the kids are happier, and I'm having great fun enjoying some freedom and not having someone tell me what to do all the time

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's always important for me to remember that beautiful things rise from the ashes. Fire is terrifying, it destroys things in horrendous ways.

But the mighty eucalyptus tree does not germinate without fire. Even though it lacks the simple elegance of many European trees, there's an awe inspiring beauty in its twisted and rugged strength. So too for me. So too for you.

Or, if you prefer a more classical allusion rather than my ode to the Australian ecosystem, consider the phoenix.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A positive thread it's nice to see that some marriages that have ended in still being friends with their ex.

I myself did 22 years of marriage and we are still friends after 8 years of being divorced.

Life was hard at first but you have to be strong and live life and enjoy

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

My marriage ended 7 odd years ago now, I've pretty much been here since.

It does rather make "normal" dating seem a bit dull...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I am with you on that one hun shame my ex is a waste of space who doesnt bother with his kids

I cant understand why anyone could just not want anything to do with their kids. Id give anything to have kids.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yep I am with you on that one hun shame my ex is a waste of space who doesnt bother with his kids

I cant understand why anyone could just not want anything to do with their kids. Id give anything to have kids."

It really boils my blood!

I have sooooo much respect for single parents that are doing it completely solo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else go through a separation last year? "

I should imagine your hubby was distraught at losing you. You're gorgeous.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm really glad kids didn't complicate what was already quite complicated and difficult for me

For the best, for sure. Not easy.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I broke up with my wife of 12 years about this time last year. She was abusive. It was a very wise move despite all the struggles I'm still going through. Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else go through a separation last year? "

Me also but not as long a relationship but we moved in together and I took on her 3 kids as my own, we bonded massively, I payed for everything as she didn’t work and I didn’t care about doing so, then in 2017 I bought her a nice tattoo for her birthday and she planned to have the tattoo artist round for sex the day I was meant to be at my uncles funeral

I gave her a second chance (stupidly I know that now) but the kids was involved and I loved her and the kids.

Then last year she took a part time job at a cafe, and not long after she started arguments all the time and she ended it, and apparently 4 days after she ended it she got with her boss, which I’m a little unsure about. But we have no contact now which is sad because I miss the kids and vice Verda

Probably a little to deep that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just killed the thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else go through a separation last year?

I should imagine your hubby was distraught at losing you. You're gorgeous. "

Thank you but it doesn’t matter whether you’re attracted to one another if the love has gone! Plus I’ve taken far more pride in my appearance since separating! You wouldn’t have looked twice at me 2 years ago!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve just killed the thread

You haven’t lovely. Sounds like you went through a crappy experience. It’s so sad when non biological parents lose that relationship with children x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I broke up with my wife of 12 years about this time last year. She was abusive. It was a very wise move despite all the struggles I'm still going through. Luke "

Yes it was! It amazes me how many abusive relationships there are where it’s the women doing the abusing. My dad left my mum for the same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else go through a separation last year?

I should imagine your hubby was distraught at losing you. You're gorgeous.

Very true. The spark needs to be there.

I love my wife and fancy the pants off her sexually, but she no longer feels the same about me. Can be so frustrating.

Good luck to you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve just killed the thread

You haven’t lovely. Sounds like you went through a crappy experience. It’s so sad when non biological parents lose that relationship with children x"

I think the one thing that really made it worse was that I’d always wanted children, and then I’d come into their lives, was never called dad but they was bright and intelligent enough to know who I was and what I did.

We had loads of amazing times and I do miss the school/party/sports days etc etc times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not quite the same, but ifinalised my divorce after what would have been 26 years of marriage. Unfortunately mine wasn’t amicable, he cheated on me numerous times and was a narcissist. So I’ve spent the past 4 years getting over the damage he’s done to me.

He doesn’t have anything to do with the children, his choice at first and then legally when I discovered certain things that are traumatic for us all.

But on a positive note I’ve met mr who is absolutely the nicest man I’ve ever met and is healing me in the best of ways x

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

My first anniversary of leaving my husband of 16 yrs was just before Christmas. Even though I was the one to leave, I mourned for the relationship I thought I'd signed up for. Even now, he manipulates our children, which I find difficult.

I'm delightedly happy to be on my own, free from the toxicity, liberated in more ways than one and having the time of my life.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Soon to be five years and I still churn it over in my head all the time!

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

We Was part of the European Union year ago

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

OP if you’re still best friends why did you split up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in the last year but I know they can be super rough so I'm really happy for you OP. Hope things turn out even better this year

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP if you’re still best friends why did you split up? "

Because we get on better not being together. A lot of people ask if we’d get back together as we do get on so well but we both know we are not right together as a husband and wife. I could never live with him again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, it’s great that you are friends now. It’s so much better for your kids.

I separated last year, and I hope we can get back to being friends too

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

My Cat died last year, he was 14

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I did and it hurt like hell but it is what it is x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Cat died last year, he was 14

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Celebrating with you OP! Sounds like a good move and hats off to being amicable and respectful .. That's a blessing.

I split from my long term partner 3 years ago. Best move. It wasn't easy at all.. and it's still challenging at times, although our children would never know. I learnt alot and I'm so much happier and whole now.

Best wishes to you x

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