FabSwingers.com forum: Why isn’t my car selling? Advice please.

By *rsTrellis OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

I send that message to everyone. If they say they aren’t looking for a car like mine I message them anyway and tell them they’ll regret it and they should take it for a test drive. They never do though!

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

I’m so angry. I know people buy cars all the time so why aren’t they buying mine? All the so-called buyers must be fakes. They probably just want to buy Porsches - no one ever wants a reliable, mid-range car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahh this is funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They’re fakes and don’t even have a drivers license!!!!!!!!!!!

Prove to them how good your car is by sending more photos of your exhaust pipe. Hope this helps

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

You’ve put the anal in analogy

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By *rsTrellis OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"They’re fakes and don’t even have a drivers license!!!!!!!!!!!

Prove to them how good your car is by sending more photos of your exhaust pipe. Hope this helps"

Thanks. Maybe I’ll add an exhaust pipe picture to the messages I send. I’ll take one when it does that dripping-thing. People will like that.

Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Philip scholfield might be after a new motor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

Hilarious

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By *rowneyedgirl03Woman
over a year ago

northwest

Im interested in your car could you tell me please how big is you exhaust pipe and send me some more pictures of it with your engine running please

Oh an asking for a friend x

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By *rsTrellis OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Philip scholfield might be after a new motor. "

I don’t really want the kind of buyer who will just buy ANY car. I see some of the people on here - they’ve bought loads of cars. Puts me off. I’m choosy about who can buy my car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Satire of the highest order, well done.

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By *rsTrellis OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Im interested in your car could you tell me please how big is you exhaust pipe and send me some more pictures of it with your engine running please

Oh an asking for a friend x"

Hey baybeee.

You like a big exhaust eh? Dirty slut. Maybe you AND you friend can BOTH check out my exhaust pipe. I have attached 97 other photos for you showing my exhaust with household objects to give a sense of the sheer size.

Hello? Why have you stopped messaging? It’s been seven minutes and you haven’t responded...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you post a pic or the exhaust next to a sky remote or sumit just so i can get an idea its realist size

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By *rsTrellis OP Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Can you post a pic or the exhaust next to a sky remote or sumit just so i can get an idea its realist size"

Good idea. I’ll make it a bit blurry too for consistency. And I’ll zoom right in so it fills the screen. Top advice.

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Whoa, hold on chicken pie.

Plenty of people want to buy your car. The irony is they don't have a car to go and see your car.

They're walking or taking the bus, which means that they're bus wankers, Which you don't want.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

It's never easy selling an average car. Not when the market is saturated with 10s of 1000s of others. You need a USP all the other sellers haven't thought of, after all, once you've seen one exhaust pipe photo you've seen them all. How about a few interior photos as well? Buyers like to see what they're getting in intimate detail and love photos which delve into all the nooks and crannies, leaving nothing to the imagination. I'm sure the accumulated dust, crumbs and empty crisp bags from the last few years won't put anyone off - it adds character and just shows you're an ordinary down to earth seller and at least you're not giving a false impression with filters right? Perhaps you could try giving your car a good soaking at the jetwash and take a few snaps then - there's a significant minority of buyers who really appreciate a nice wet image to admire, just make sure you don't fall foul of any site rules, some car selling platforms can be a bit funny about that sort of thing. Best leave mid action shots with the super squirter hose to one side unless requested privately of course.

And if those enhancements still don't entice prospective purchasers you need to get even more proactive. You need to ensure buyers don't overlook your messages amongst the dozens they get from others whose goods are obviously less attractive than yours. To that end, set up an automatic reminder if you don't hear back within a reasonable time - like 15 minutes or so. An identical message resent on the hour should do it. And if you're persistently ignored after all that effort I'm afraid you'll have to accept that your car is of no interest - even though it's utterly bewildering. But do fire off one final communication letting them know in no uncertain terms that it's their loss and that you were never interested in them as a buyer anyway. How very dare they pretend to be interested in cars, on a car site as well, without any intention of taking up the cars on offer? Bloody carteasers and timewasters. That'll learn 'em!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh OP. I've missed your posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swap the exhaust pics for wheels pics (hands and feet) lots seem to think these are okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All those buyers are self-entitled twats anyway. You wouldn’t even consider selling them your car in real life. They don’t know what they’re missing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for the morning chuckle OP

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Have you tried car meets?

Many car enthusiasts attend and you may get more interest by just turning up and waving your exhaust around whilst others are polishing theirs?

Make sure any photos you are sending are taken at a clever angle to make it look bigger.

Good luck.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Some people have no idea how to sell cars with only an exhaust pipe pic.

However there is a secret, and I will let you in to it.

When taking a photo of an exhaust pipe it is important to have a toilet (preferably unflushed) in the background.

Rectify this error and I'm sure you will get lots of enquiries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

^^^^ Too Funny ^^^^ Luuuvvvve your humour

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

I don't like cars with exhaust pipes. I like my cars with twin headlights as my profile says.

But you could ignore all that & still send me exhaust pipe pics assuming that nothing I've written applies to you & you're exempt.

All lady drivers' twin headlight pictures are gratefully received & studied in great detail here! The larger the headlights, the better & they should have prominent beam adjusters to play with.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Morning Mrs Trellis

Maybe you should consider shoving something up your exhaust pipe and re-take your pics? Maybe that would work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh this has made me smile

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Have you also 124 pics of you polishing your exhaust pipe?

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I spat my coffee EVERYWHERE

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Another thought, a few harmless little white lies are perfectly reasonable in this scenario. Knock a few miles off when you write to draw them in. What's that they say about many a good drive being played on an old jalopy? It'd be a shame if buyers missed out on that. Also, do you have any older photos of your car when it was in tip top condition? Try sending those instead. I'm sure buyers won't mind. The main thing is getting them to see it for real when they'll inevitably be unable to resist its charms regardless of a few subsequent scratches and dents. It's the same car after all, the bodywork is just a cover for the performance inside you can't see immediately. Buyers get too fixated on shallow details like appearance without giving cars like yours a chance.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

The number of car buyers to sellers is about 20:1, you’ve got to raise your game.

Have you got photos of other people in it? Some buyers hate that

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By *osmosgirlWoman
over a year ago

Wetherby

Having studied the multiple close up exhaust pics I've spotted some corrosion. I wonder if that's putting potential buyers off?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Could you take your car to a local dogging spot and let people try it out ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh bravo Mrs T. Really nicely done

(and BTW I love your name, many happy memories of listening to ISIHAC on long car journeys with my ex husband

)

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By *rowneyedgirl03Woman
over a year ago

northwest

Thank you for all your messages and the 97 pictures of your exhaust pipe but im sorry im unable to meet you at 6am in the morning in Asda's carpark for a "quick look" & a "test drive" sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to specifically target people who already own a mid range car, since clearly they like them. Then in your message you need to explain why yours is superior and point out all the flaws in their current car which yours will obviously solve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel that your marketing strategy needs an overhaul....selling cars is so last year... a raffle with a mystery motoring related prize is the way forward....

1st make a porsche body kit out of papemache...

2nd paint it bright arsehole porsche yellow

3rd wrap the car in stylish and very tight tin foil....thereby showing just the shape and leading people to believe it's a porsche.

4th print thousands of raffle tickets priced at 10 quid

5th conduct an extensive marketing campaign.. including national paper advertising. Regional tv and maybe get a C list soap star to head it for you....

In next to no time you will have millions in the bank ... oh and be rid of your shitty car..

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Every so often buyers reveal a little too much of themselves in their online profile meaning that if they're local there's a good chance you might recognise them whilst out and about in Asda or Wetherspoons. Regardless of them going about their everyday non-car related business in ignorant bliss do make the most of that opportunity if you spot one and grab their attention by hissing loudly at them about the size of their wallet followed by an invitation to turn the engine on in the car park

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so funny ??

Remember to only send pics of your exhaust to those buyers who dont want to see pics of exhausts, you never know they may just like yours.

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

Might be interested, how much you asking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phwoar love a good exhaust pipe

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Give Philip Schofield a call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Baaahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe I missed this, hilarious.

Will you get cross op if I look at your advert and I'm not the kind of buyer you're looking for?

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Sounds like a dipstick test could be in the offing.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"You’ve put the anal in analogy

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

This is big and clever. Full marks

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Is the exhaust pipe fully working?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Just get your tits out, Thats bound to work

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it!

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By *arklordMan
over a year ago

rugeley

have you tried to clean the exuast pipe? there's nothing worse than a dirty exuast pipe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hilarious Op, you win the Internet today

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send random people photos of the exhaust, different angles and one of it next to a Sky Remote to show how big and powerful it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

Try placing a remote control next to the exhaust, it should get it sold in no time at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to take a picture of the exhaust pipe next to my erect penis.

Ended up in hospital with 2nd degree burns & smoke inhalation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it

I wonder if those users guilty of similar will find this thread, read it and make the connection lol

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

Fine work!

*applauds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is undoubtably the best thread ever! So many funny people on here, the OP is brilliant!

Can I ask if you have the service history and has it been treated with respect?

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Eyes rolling!

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

Genius Op.. love it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

There are loads of cars on offer so I go for those that look good and offer a firm ride. I like a big boot too. Don’t mind what colour but I do like them to be clean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the owner history? Has it been owned by many people? Or has it just been owned by 1 owner who just used it for pottering about round town.

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"What's the owner history? Has it been owned by many people? Or has it just been owned by 1 owner who just used it for pottering about round town. "

I asked this via PM earlier, and was sent an electronic copy of the v5 document. The vehicle has 5 recent previous female owners - all of whom commented that the vehicle was very reliable, roadworthy, keeps going forever, and no-one should let it pass them by. It has a part service history, and as of 28/01/2019 was free of any known defects. The exhaust pipe is larger and sturdier than on most mid-range vehicles of a similar age. The only downside I could see were the recent emissions test results, which can be taxing and, you may find, hard to swallow.

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

"Satire of the highest order, well done. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Give Philip Schofield a call. "

I'm not sure Mrs Trellis can afford Phillip Schofield to sell her car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Very nice OP.

A round of applause is in order.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I have questiins;

Has it been rear ended or involved in a multiple pile up?

Are the O rings ok?

Has it ever blown a gasket?

Are the tappetts loose?

Do any of the cylinders need re-sleeving?

Thanks. I may consider a bid. How much can you take?

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By *rinthiaMan
over a year ago

dundee

they get to a certain age and no one really wants them

so you have to tweak them a bit,

put some shiny bits on polish the headlights, bit of air brush work here and there

then all of a sudden everyone will want a shot

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There are a lot riders here who want to check your emissions, so a lot more exhaust pics and stats needed, especially of full-on emissions.

You must send out update messages on this, with new pics. There are advertised enthusiast get-togethers and specialist clubs, so go along every day and show your pics. If your car can be proven as a real fuel guzzler, list a meet for bukcarkey

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Just wonderful... love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a Big Black Car?

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Give Philip Schofield a call. "

Oh, he’s not taking calls at the moment

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"I’m trying to sell my car at the moment.

It’s an ordinary, mid-range car. Done a fair few miles. Bodywork isn’t perfect. But it’s a nice reliable car. People should give it a chance.

I’m advertising it online.

I can’t really put any photos of my car on the advert (I value my privacy) but I did upload ten photos of the exhaust pipe from different angles. They’re a bit blurry.

The main picture in the ad is just a silhouette of a car but people can ask me for photos of the actual car if they want.

In the advert text I put “Car for sale. Ask me anything”. I bet no one reads the text anyway.

I decided to be proactive so I started messaging people online to see if they want to but my car. To save time, I cut and paste the same text. I put “u want to buy car today?”

People are so rude! No one ever even bothers to write back to tell me they don’t want to buy my car. It would take them two seconds to write a polite “no thank you”.

Very very good, you’re a star treacle.

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By *hezuMan
over a year ago

London

You have to advertise the it as a vegan eco friendly vehicle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long does the car run before the exhaust begins leaking?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

How did I miss this post be?

Made my day

(crappy Friday and want to go home

)

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Brilliant

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You did everything wrong O.P.

It's all about your car , your car, your car. You didn't even look at my ad stating that I want a very specific hybrid and you never put Vorsprung Durch Technik in your message. Fucking typical of whining car sellers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That, is absolute genius.

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

I recently went to view a car similar to the Op`s & found that the exhaust in the pics was not the same, Also a very sketchy service record, The mileage had been clocked to disguise the fact that it was previously a taxi. It had quite a few owners in a short time, Had a hairy clutch that needed greasing regularly & didn`t start easily. It was nothing like I expected & the basic model & not the GT it was made out to be.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I recently went to view a car similar to the Op`s & found that the exhaust in the pics was not the same, Also a very sketchy service record, The mileage had been clocked to disguise the fact that it was previously a taxi. It had quite a few owners in a short time, Had a hairy clutch that needed greasing regularly & didn`t start easily. It was nothing like I expected & the basic model & not the GT it was made out to be."

Hairy clutch ..... ewwww

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By *hiteknight82Man
over a year ago

falmouth

sounds like your flange has gone madam

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