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Saying no and etiquette

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So with my first club visit coming up tomorrow I was just wondering about etiquette . I’m a very social person and can chat to anyone but if your asked to play what’s the correct response if your not feeling it .

I’d never want too upset anyone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful

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By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

Be polite but be honest. Decent people will not take offence trust me. Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Be polite but be honest. Decent people will not take offence trust me. Have fun!"

Thankyou so much!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful"

Thanks so much guys , it’s a tricky one I guess

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful

Thanks so much guys , it’s a tricky one I guess"

We were talking about this earlier. We agreed that it's time women stopped being concerned about upsetting men when it comes to refusing sex. It's your right to say no and most men will respect that if it's said pleasantly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finger their drink

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful

Thanks so much guys , it’s a tricky one I guess

We were talking about this earlier. We agreed that it's time women stopped being concerned about upsetting men when it comes to refusing sex. It's your right to say no and most men will respect that if it's said pleasantly "

Absolutely. Be clear, be unambiguous, if they get upset, they need to grow up and handle themselves better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As well as all the above, if you have problems with someone being nasty if you've said no, to whatever they've asked for for whatever reason, mention it to the bar staff. Most clubs have a zero tolerance policy on this and will speak to them.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Obviously just say no , but there's something empowering about your first no thanks , once you said it , you won't ever need to worry again

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Actively chatting with rapport in 2 way dialogue gives a bloke (false) hope. Maybe one word answers, break eye contact; any decent chap would get the hint and not want to waste his time. Or, nip to the loo, and come back to a different point... if all else fails, a polite not what I’m looking for should be fine x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful

Thanks so much guys , it’s a tricky one I guess

We were talking about this earlier. We agreed that it's time women stopped being concerned about upsetting men when it comes to refusing sex. It's your right to say no and most men will respect that if it's said pleasantly "

I totally agee! I don’t know why it not worries me but I’ve been overly thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Actively chatting with rapport in 2 way dialogue gives a bloke (false) hope. Maybe one word answers, break eye contact; any decent chap would get the hint and not want to waste his time. Or, nip to the loo, and come back to a different point... if all else fails, a polite not what I’m looking for should be fine x"

Oooh ok this is the problem I’m naturally a chatty person

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Obviously just say no , but there's something empowering about your first no thanks , once you said it , you won't ever need to worry again

"

Haha Thankyou!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As well as all the above, if you have problems with someone being nasty if you've said no, to whatever they've asked for for whatever reason, mention it to the bar staff. Most clubs have a zero tolerance policy on this and will speak to them. "

Thanks for the heads up !

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Obviously just say no , but there's something empowering about your first no thanks , once you said it , you won't ever need to worry again

Haha Thankyou!"

Take a tazer with you just In case.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I just thank them sweetly, with a no thanks, and explain that I'm moving off to explore the place.

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By *ohn8210tCouple
over a year ago

Warwick

Years ago on our first club visit, we were approached by a single man in the jacuzzi. We chatted for a few minutes and then he asked if we wanted to go up to a room .

We explained it was our first visit and we wanted to take it slowly , so no thanks on this occasion. He completely understood, was charming and we carried on chatting for ages.

Being totally open worked well for us.

Have fun and try not to be too nervous.

Easier said than done but you’ll love it !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful"

This. You can still be friendly and chatting but give a direct answer. People in clubs are generally used to people saying no and so they should normally be fine.

If a man can't accept a No then they shouldn't be in the club.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Smile nicely and say "no thank you".

Trying not to upset people leads to ambiguity which is never helpful

Thanks so much guys , it’s a tricky one I guess

We were talking about this earlier. We agreed that it's time women stopped being concerned about upsetting men when it comes to refusing sex. It's your right to say no and most men will respect that if it's said pleasantly

I totally agee! I don’t know why it not worries me but I’ve been overly thinking about it"

It worries you because women are told to be nice to people from birth, we're brought up to be non confrontational and pleasers. If we object to something we're often told we're difficult or being unfriendly, if we don't object and are friendly we're told we're leading men on or sending out mixed messages. It's no wonder we worry about how to refuse a man. That's why I said earlier say no, pleasantly but firmly, there's no room for misunderstanding and most men will accept with good grace.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"So with my first club visit coming up tomorrow I was just wondering about etiquette . I’m a very social person and can chat to anyone but if your asked to play what’s the correct response if your not feeling it .

I’d never want too upset anyone "

It's your right to say no: don't over think things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would’ve thought just saying no thank you would suffice?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Would’ve thought just saying no thank you would suffice? "

Probably not, but a threat to cut off his bollocks might.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just say, sorry you seem lovely (if they have been chatting nicely of course) but you are just not my type

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Clear, polite and unapologetic no thanks. No explanation needed.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If she hasn't stopped pestering me after saying "no thanks" 3 times then I just tell her "I'm not just a piece of meat ya know". Pfffft

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By *aughty Lovers 69Man
over a year ago

Wallasey

We absolutely hate saying no to people but it has to be done sometimes, we just say, thank you so much for the interest but no thank you and whenever we have said it, people have been so understanding and have replied, that's fine I understand and I'm enjoying chatting to you at least xx

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By *obby9incherMan
over a year ago

Leamington spa area

If you feel uncomfortable in a situation. Say no thank you ! If harassment happens report the person ! A no means no to a genuine swinger. Have fun

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