FabSwingers.com forum: High maintenance.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does liking to dress up and tease make someone high maintenance???

Someone asked for advice, I gave them my advice.. and they pretty much replied with "im too low maintenance for that shallow stuff" (Reffering to dressing up and teasing)

I took offence to that.. as I Like to dress up, and I like to tease... And I Like a man that can dress up and tease too.. (find it sexy as fuck, tbh.) But i domt think that makes me hihh maintenance or shallow. I didn't say it was must or a requirement.

So does that make me shallow ?? What about high maintenance ??

What's everybody's opponion on it ??

What in your oppinion DOES make someone high maintenance and shallow??

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By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

I think if you find something you like then do it. Does it make you feel shallow? If not then no it dont make you shallow. Id have to actually have some interaction with you to determine if i THINK you're shallow. But honestly that's pretty subjective. At least in my opinion... Someone saying you're shallow is a subjective opinion.. Not necessarily a fact.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

people who love the drama are high maintance

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Does liking to dress up and tease make someone high maintenance???

Someone asked for advice, I gave them my advice.. and they pretty much replied with "im too low maintenance for that shallow stuff" (Reffering to dressing up and teasing)

So does that make me shallow ?? What about high maintenance ??

What's everybody's opponion on it ??

What in your oppinion DOES make someone high maintenance and shallow??"

That's not high maintenance. Its personal choice.

High maintenance would be someone agreeing to a meet on the basis of insisting on dressing up in new lingerie, booking an expensive hotel, being wined and dined beforehand all at the other parties expense.

High maintenance is being demanding, expectant and uncompromising of others.

Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means. "

Exactly this. Oh and those stockings with the bows are just cuteness in a jar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/01/20 20:17:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I to love dressing up as I love how it makes me feel and the person feel too. I'm a tad confused on the shallow comment. It's all about how you feel. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh to me it's just courtesy. If someone is going to make the effort to come and play with me then they deserve to play with me looking like I'm ready to play, not like I've just got up. Bathed, hair and make up and wearing something sexy is just standard. If i really like you I'll wear a splash of perfume

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could have simply meant that the hairdresser, nails, hours to get ready are high maintenance, could have meant not wanting to be your natural self as shallow perhaps? ... wouldn't worry about it tbh as long as your happy doing it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means. "

It doesn't really specifically mean anything, just like the phrase 'tall dark and handsome', they have a very ambiguous meaning and your opinion of it could be different to others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No just means you make a effort, effort goes along way

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

Unnessacary mental stress and drama is high maintenance, and in some cases illegal.

Dressing up is subjective and should be proportional although it could be exploitative (and even then it can cut both ways giver and reciever in control).

Treating someone you know well to hair, nails, clothes and enjoying time together is great. Sometimes its good to just be nice as someone is feeling down and needs a lift with no reward expected.

Occasionally it's just plain necessary to put people on an even par with others at an event so they don't feel inadequate.

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By *erriAnneTV/TS
over a year ago

The shire

Jesus I must be mega high maintenance for dressing up lolz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Unnessacary mental stress and drama is high maintenance, and in some cases illegal.

Dressing up is subjective and should be proportional although it could be exploitative (and even then it can cut both ways giver and reciever in control).

Treating someone you know well to hair, nails, clothes and enjoying time together is great. Sometimes its good to just be nice as someone is feeling down and needs a lift with no reward expected.

Occasionally it's just plain necessary to put people on an even par with others at an event so they don't feel inadequate.

See, I don't expect anyone to pay for the things I dress myself up in. I'm actually one of this people who doesn't like others spending money on them, because I feel as if there are better things they could be spending their hard earned cash on, than me. So I usually feel bad. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jesus I must be mega high maintenance for dressing up lolz"

But is it high maintenance, or just wanting to look good ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No just means you make a effort, effort goes along way"

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means.

It doesn't really specifically mean anything, just like the phrase 'tall dark and handsome', they have a very ambiguous meaning and your opinion of it could be different to others."

Interesting way to look at it..

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

High maintenance are those who enjoy boasting they are!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They could have simply meant that the hairdresser, nails, hours to get ready are high maintenance, could have meant not wanting to be your natural self as shallow perhaps? ... wouldn't worry about it tbh as long as your happy doing it! "

See.. in that sense.. I can kinda see their/your point. It's a pain in the patookey to have to shower/shave/oil/moisurise/dry and straighten hair THEN do make up and make sure it colour coordinates with your outfit.

I can see how constantly doing THAT every day would be considered high maintenance. But I only every do that when I'm going out. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"High maintenance are those who enjoy boasting they are! "

But would you consider it a thing to boast about ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tbh to me it's just courtesy. If someone is going to make the effort to come and play with me then they deserve to play with me looking like I'm ready to play, not like I've just got up. Bathed, hair and make up and wearing something sexy is just standard. If i really like you I'll wear a splash of perfume

Same. If I'm going to go meet someone.. I like to know I look my best and for them to see that I've made an effort.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I to love dressing up as I love how it makes me feel and the person feel too. I'm a tad confused on the shallow comment. It's all about how you feel. X"

Thank you. I'm the same in that I usually feel pretty when ive dome my make up. (Though of course there are those days when I'm wondering if I'm applying for clown college.

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

Dressing up for each other is fair in many cases but sometimes the cost of doing so could burden one more than the other every situation is different, and the financial balance isn't gender dependent either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means.

Exactly this. Oh and those stockings with the bows are just cuteness in a jar

Awwww. Thank you very much!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does liking to dress up and tease make someone high maintenance???

Someone asked for advice, I gave them my advice.. and they pretty much replied with "im too low maintenance for that shallow stuff" (Reffering to dressing up and teasing)

So does that make me shallow ?? What about high maintenance ??

What's everybody's opponion on it ??

What in your oppinion DOES make someone high maintenance and shallow??

That's not high maintenance. Its personal choice.

High maintenance is being demanding, expectant and uncompromising of others.

Simples.

Thank you for your input.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"High maintenance are those who enjoy boasting they are!

But would you consider it a thing to boast about ??"

No.... it’s not a particularly endearing quality

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I get teased for being high maintenance at work because I make an effort with my appearance.

I call BS.

High maintenance is needy, courting drama and being unable to survive without attention.

None of which apply to me.

I have matching underwear, nail polish, make-up and a decent hair cut. Which I think are all self worth related rather than high maintenance.

OP I'm with you on this, the things you suggest aren't shallow or high maintenance. The person was chatting rubbish xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It can be If you're purchasing brand new clothes/lingerie each time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get teased for being high maintenance at work because I make an effort with my appearance.

I call BS.

High maintenance is needy, courting drama and being unable to survive without attention.

None of which apply to me.

I have matching underwear, nail polish, make-up and a decent hair cut. Which I think are all self worth related rather than high maintenance.

OP I'm with you on this, the things you suggest aren't shallow or high maintenance. The person was chatting rubbish xx"

Ignore those at work!!! Just cos you wanna make an effort and feel good! If they wanted to stop feeling bad about themselves they're more than able to do the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if you find something you like then do it. Does it make you feel shallow? If not then no it dont make you shallow. Id have to actually have some interaction with you to determine if i THINK you're shallow. But honestly that's pretty subjective. At least in my opinion... Someone saying you're shallow is a subjective opinion.. Not necessarily a fact. "

Thank you for your input.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"people who love the drama are high maintance"

Thank you for your input.

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

I always understood high maintenance as meaning emotionally ...someone needing constant reassurance, attention, being jealous, over reactive. In this sense tho - the dressing up - I would just call that maintenance!...and we all maintain ourselves in different ways and to different levels.

I am in two minds about the stereotypical “girl’s stuff”...I paint my nails and wear heels only about twice a year and I don’t have the time, money or expertise for much make up/hair/fashion stuff, so I can feel sometimes like I’m not glamorous enough...in the expected way. I do like to feel good about myself tho, so when I go out, I do dress up a more than I would on an average day, and really enjoy doing so. I think it depends on your reasons for the effort...personal style and enjoyment of decorating ourselves is preferable to insecurity, low self esteem and need to fit in.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"I get teased for being high maintenance at work because I make an effort with my appearance.

I call BS.

High maintenance is needy, courting drama and being unable to survive without attention.

None of which apply to me.

I have matching underwear, nail polish, make-up and a decent hair cut. Which I think are all self worth related rather than high maintenance.

OP I'm with you on this, the things you suggest aren't shallow or high maintenance. The person was chatting rubbish xx

Ignore those at work!!! Just cos you wanna make an effort and feel good! If they wanted to stop feeling bad about themselves they're more than able to do the same.

Exactly, which is pretty much what I tell them. But do you know....they've all upped their game since I started working there. I think if you're surrounded by people who make an effort it makes you do the same.

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By *ucky88oMan
over a year ago

london

High maintenance ladies are sexy xx

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Does liking to dress up and tease make someone high maintenance???

Someone asked for advice, I gave them my advice.. and they pretty much replied with "im too low maintenance for that shallow stuff" (Reffering to dressing up and teasing)

So does that make me shallow ?? What about high maintenance ??

What's everybody's opponion on it ??

What in your oppinion DOES make someone high maintenance and shallow??"

If they are demanding and take others for granted then they are both.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"High maintenance ladies are sexy xx"

In what way?

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By *ucky88oMan
over a year ago

london

"High maintenance ladies are sexy xx

In what way?"

Knowing that You are going to have to stay on Your A-game to keep them happy.

I also find demanding sexy xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To me high maintenance and shallow is often used as an insult towards women who want commitment and attention from their partner and enjoy being well groomed. They're often called demanding too.

It's different to women who are needy and clingy and make unreasonable demands.

I rarely hear men called high maintenance

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"High maintenance ladies are sexy xx

In what way?

Knowing that You are going to have to stay on Your A-game to keep them happy.

I also find demanding sexy xx"

I need someone to be on their A game but not because I'm high maintenance, because I don't suffer fools.

I think demanding can be sexy, it can also be annoying. I suppose it depends who, what, why and how.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"To me high maintenance and shallow is often used as an insult towards women who want commitment and attention from their partner and enjoy being well groomed. They're often called demanding too.

It's different to women who are needy and clingy and make unreasonable demands.

I rarely hear men called high maintenance "

Agreed, that's why I take offence to it being said about me.

I do know a couple of high maintenance men, but it's rarely used in common parlance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See, I don’t think you should take it personally. They are basically saying they are too lazy to make that effort in themselves. If someone said that to me, I would just move on, if a man can’t make an effort in his looks or they way he smells, he isn’t what I’m looking for.because I expect a lot of effort in the bedroom. And that’s on him not you!! Be proud of the effort you put in, it isn’t shallow to want to be the best virsion of you for a meet, it all adds to the atmosphere. Own it and don’t worry about those with different standards, not worth your time

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By *ucky88oMan
over a year ago

london

A Lady should always expect a man to put effort into every aspect of his life

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"To me high maintenance and shallow is often used as an insult towards women who want commitment and attention from their partner and enjoy being well groomed. They're often called demanding too.

It's different to women who are needy and clingy and make unreasonable demands.

I rarely hear men called high maintenance

Agreed, that's why I take offence to it being said about me.

I do know a couple of high maintenance men, but it's rarely used in common parlance."

Other women often make remarks to me such as "oh I'd rather read a book than spend all that time on my hair" the implication being that taking a little time to groom is shallow and they're more worthy than me because they read while I'm pratting about with the straighteners. I'm not offended, I know it isn't true, I read and do my hair, it's possible to fit both into my life.

Nobody is better than anyone else just because of their grooming choices.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone for all your input. I'm enjoying reading everyone's points of views.

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

There is a saying "dress for the job you want not the job you have"

Looking after yourself and your appearance is about self worth. Putting the effort in can say a lot about a person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is a saying "dress for the job you want not the job you have"

Looking after yourself and your appearance is about self worth. Putting the effort in can say a lot about a person."

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to take offence as it's subjective, and I don't think personal, to a lady that doesn't do all that you would seem high maintenance and to most ladies that don't weather make up etc it does seem shallow! My best friend and I have conversations about this all the time, she doesn't ever wear make up and is very much of the "take me as I" brigade whereas I wear make up etc

Actually I think it's awesome to be like that and I love doing her up occasionally

and she laughs dragging me out without!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No need to take offence as it's subjective, and I don't think personal, to a lady that doesn't do all that you would seem high maintenance and to most ladies that don't weather make up etc it does seem shallow! My best friend and I have conversations about this all the time, she doesn't ever wear make up and is very much of the "take me as I" brigade whereas I wear make up etc

Actually I think it's awesome to be like that and I love doing her up occasionally

and she laughs dragging me out without! "

Haha. Sounds like you two have a lot of fun!

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

High maint to me would mean the monetary side, expected to be treated all at the others expense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That doesn't make any sense. I don't think the person you were talking to understands what high maintenance means.

It doesn't really specifically mean anything, just like the phrase 'tall dark and handsome', they have a very ambiguous meaning and your opinion of it could be different to others.

Interesting way to look at it.."

It's why I avoid using these phrases, but also very careful with what I say sometimes, can just end up being misunderstood.

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