FabSwingers.com forum: Seeking humour

By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

Fried Breakfast tease

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A head was born to a couple, no body or arms or legs, just a head. The head turns 8 year old and his mum shouts to him that morning, "Head, come here, I have a present for you." The head shouts back, "Not another fucking hat I hope ma"

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

Fried Breakfast tease

Always

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever heard of the “oo-ooh bird”? It’s got two inch legs, and three inch balls.....

My fave shit joke ever... have a good day!

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"A head was born to a couple, no body or arms or legs, just a head. The head turns 8 year old and his mum shouts to him that morning, "Head, come here, I have a present for you." The head shouts back, "Not another fucking hat I hope ma"

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see too many judgemental people around these days.

I can tell just by looking at them

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Have you ever heard of the “oo-ooh bird”? It’s got two inch legs, and three inch balls.....

My fave shit joke ever... have a good day!"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know any jokes I'm afraid but hope your feel better soon xx

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On their wedding night 3 men are discussing the up coming night of passion

Man 1 say” I have a idea, in the morning why don’t we order toast for the same amount of time we have sex with the wife”?

They all agree

So the next morning they all sat there with the new wives.

Man 1” waitress I will have 3 pieces of toast please”

Man 2. “ waitress I will have 4 pieces of toast please”

Man 3 “ um waitress I will have 6 pieces of toast please.......4 white and 2 brown”

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I see too many judgemental people around these days.

I can tell just by looking at them "

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Don't know any jokes I'm afraid but hope your feel better soon xx

S x"

Thank you lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grandad had alzheimer's and I'd go and visit him everyday, and every day we'd have the same conversation.

"When's your nan coming home?"

"Grandad, she's been dead 12 years now"

Every day was like this, one day my parents pulled me aside and said "you don't need to see him everyday, we can't imagine the stress it must be putting you under, having to tell him daily that his wife is dead"

I said, "it's okay, it's worth it, it's worth it just to see the smile on his face"

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"On their wedding night 3 men are discussing the up coming night of passion

Man 1 say” I have a idea, in the morning why don’t we order toast for the same amount of time we have sex with the wife”?

They all agree

So the next morning they all sat there with the new wives.

Man 1” waitress I will have 3 pieces of toast please”

Man 2. “ waitress I will have 4 pieces of toast please”

Man 3 “ um waitress I will have 6 pieces of toast please.......4 white and 2 brown”"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

Is that a new way of suckling

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

Is that a new way of suckling

There's more than one thing you can do with a nipple.

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"My grandad had alzheimer's and I'd go and visit him everyday, and every day we'd have the same conversation.

"When's your nan coming home?"

"Grandad, she's been dead 12 years now"

I said, "it's okay, it's worth it, it's worth it just to see the smile on his face" "

That's so romantic

And not clownish at all

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Knock knock"

Hang on a min I'm naked

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

Is that a new way of suckling

There's more than one thing you can do with a nipple.

Is there... I'm vanilla. didn't you know

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Why is Peter Pan always flying ??

Because he Neverlands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock

Hang on a min I'm naked

Perfectly timed then....

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

Is that a new way of suckling

There's more than one thing you can do with a nipple.

Is there... I'm vanilla. didn't you know

Now who's the one with the bad jokes.

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Why is Peter Pan always flying ??

Because he Neverlands

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Knock knock

Hang on a min I'm naked

Perfectly timed then....

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"It's hardly surprising you've got a cold, you've rearly got any clothes on. Pffffft

My boobies are not blue so I'm obviously not cold

I'll check when I get my hands on them.

Thermometer fingers

Just put your nipples under my tongue.

Is that a new way of suckling

There's more than one thing you can do with a nipple.

Is there... I'm vanilla. didn't you know

Now who's the one with the bad jokes.

According to my latest BDSM test its true....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the beach laugh???

Because the sea.. w.e.e.d

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At 4.50am id just got up, half asleep and my lad was lamenting the loss of koby Bryant.. "dad, everyone's in bits of koby Bryant"

"not as much as him" I replied..

I know it's tasteless, it just slipped out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did the beach laugh???

Because the sea.. w.e.e.d"

How does the ocean say hello?

It waves

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

When arriving late to school, Johnny was asked why. I’m sorry miss but my grandad got burned today, he answered. Oh I’m sorry to hear that says the teacher, was he burned bad? Yes says Johnny, they don’t fuck about at the crematorium.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

What's yellow and dangerous?

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Why did the beach laugh???

Because the sea.. w.e.e.d"

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"At 4.50am id just got up, half asleep and my lad was lamenting the loss of koby Bryant.. "dad, everyone's in bits of koby Bryant"

"not as much as him" I replied..

I know it's tasteless, it just slipped out

Dude

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Why did the beach laugh???

Because the sea.. w.e.e.d

How does the ocean say hello?

It waves "

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"When arriving late to school, Johnny was asked why. I’m sorry miss but my grandad got burned today, he answered. Oh I’m sorry to hear that says the teacher, was he burned bad? Yes says Johnny, they don’t fuck about at the crematorium. "

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"What's yellow and dangerous?"

Ooooh what?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The height difference between myself and B is pretty fucking funny.

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"The height difference between myself and B is pretty fucking funny.

Oh wow that is mental

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To show his mates he had guts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At 4.50am id just got up, half asleep and my lad was lamenting the loss of koby Bryant.. "dad, everyone's in bits of koby Bryant"

"not as much as him" I replied..

I know it's tasteless, it just slipped out

Dude

I know.. Ive slapped meself

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"What's yellow and dangerous?

Ooooh what?????"

Shark infested custard......

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To show his mates he had guts.

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"What's yellow and dangerous?

Ooooh what?????

Shark infested custard......"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

How about we just sit and have a laugh and a coffee under a fleecey blanket

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

How about we just sit and have a laugh and a coffee under a fleecey blanket

Is the blanket big enough for the 3 of us?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

This isn't a joke but it makes us laugh. It's an article from a site called AI Weirdness which is a site devoted to odd things created by artificial intelligence. I'm not allowed to post the link so here's the text. You may also want to look up the AI Weirdness article about cat names which is also very funny.

So I’ve been training this neural network to generate cookbook recipes by letting it look at tens of thousands of existing recipes.

The generated titles can get a bit odd.

There’s a creativity variable I can set when the network is generating new recipes, and when I set it low, it comes up with its best guess at the most quintessential recipe titles:

Cream Cheese Soup

Cream Of Sour Cream Cheese Soup

Chocolate Cake (Chocolate Cake)

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake

Chocolate Chicken Chicken Cake

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake

Chocolate Chips

Chocolate Chips With Chocolate Chips

---

When I tell it to get creative, things get even weirder.

Beef Soup With Swamp Peef And Cheese

Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips

Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas

Beasy Mist

Export Bean Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip The Mustard

Chocolate Pickle Sauce

Whole Chicken Cookies

Salmon Beef Style Chicken Bottom

Star *

Cover Meats

Out Of Meat

Completely Meat Circle

Completely Meat Chocolate Pie

Cabbage Pot Cookies

Artichoke Gelatin Dogs

Crockpot Cold Water

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

What do you call a smelly fairy?

Stinkerbell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The milk man called my neighbour a fat bitch

......

How dairy!

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I feel like crap and couldn't even taste my lush fried breakfast this morning as my taste buds are on holiday.

Give us a chuckle and post a joke, all are welcome even the bad ones

How about we just sit and have a laugh and a coffee under a fleecey blanket

Can we borrow D????

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"This isn't a joke but it makes us laugh. It's an article from a site called AI Weirdness which is a site devoted to odd things created by artificial intelligence. I'm not allowed to post the link so here's the text. You may also want to look up the AI Weirdness article about cat names which is also very funny.

So I’ve been training this neural network to generate cookbook recipes by letting it look at tens of thousands of existing recipes.

The generated titles can get a bit odd.

There’s a creativity variable I can set when the network is generating new recipes, and when I set it low, it comes up with its best guess at the most quintessential recipe titles:

Cream Cheese Soup

Cream Of Sour Cream Cheese Soup

Chocolate Cake (Chocolate Cake)

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake

Chocolate Chicken Chicken Cake

Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake

Chocolate Chips

Chocolate Chips With Chocolate Chips

---

When I tell it to get creative, things get even weirder.

Beef Soup With Swamp Peef And Cheese

Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips

Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas

Beasy Mist

Export Bean Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip The Mustard

Chocolate Pickle Sauce

Whole Chicken Cookies

Salmon Beef Style Chicken Bottom

Star *

Cover Meats

Out Of Meat

Completely Meat Circle

Completely Meat Chocolate Pie

Cabbage Pot Cookies

Artichoke Gelatin Dogs

Crockpot Cold Water"

Ill have a google, thank you x

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"What do you call a smelly fairy?

Stinkerbell! "

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By *hrista Bellend OP Woman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"The milk man called my neighbour a fat bitch

......

How dairy!

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he had his dick stuck in the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two monkeys in a bath together.

First one says:

"Ooh Ooh Ah Ah"

Second one says:

"Best put some more cold water in then"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Monkey walks in to a pub

Sits down and orders a pint of larger and some crisps

The barman looks at him in amazement and says " you should work at the circus "

The monkey says "why are they looking for electricians? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: “Is this some kind of a joke?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the pervert cross the road

He couldn't get his cock out the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fly without wings...

A walk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get if you cross a dog with a film studio

Collie-wood

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