FabSwingers.com forum: Mental Health

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not sure how to word this properly but I’m sick of being told by ppl that I don’t look or act like someone who suffers with mental health issues.

What am I supposed to look like ?

Do I need to walk around with a sign on my head?

I don’t need to promote anything I just want to crack on and get thru one day at a time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not sure how to delete the title and message.Anyway just ignore the above message it’s no big deal.

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By *almprintsWoman
over a year ago

deepest, darkest West

Mental health is still not as widely accepted in th UK ( although getting there) as it is in North America. If you need to speak with someone, do...its so important to be able to express all of your thoughts to someone you trust or feel comfort with.

And no, it doesn't have a face or type or age or gender. I live with it, one day at a time is all you can do on some days. And that's enough. I genuinely hope you are able to find some support xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure how to delete the title and message.Anyway just ignore the above message it’s no big deal.

No need to delete it, it's how you feel and that's OK and valid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yer thanks .....Sometimes I do over analyse these things and my thought process becomes scrambled.All is good thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yer thanks .....Sometimes I do over analyse these things and my thought process becomes scrambled.All is good thanks."

I suffer with anxiety and depression myself. If you ever need anyone to vent to.. for whatever reason.. feel free to pm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dont look or act that way perhaps because you wear a mask in front of others, we all do that to keep up appearances.

If theres drama in your life you need to release some of the steam before the pipe bursts...

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Rosso, it's a real thing and very important thing that you're saying. And you're not alone on here in having mental health problems. I lost my mother just under two years ago, the fallout from that in problems with my siblings, plus work pressures, sent me on a downwards spiral of depression, stress and anxiety. But completely invisible to most people around me until a few months later i snapped and walked out on my job.

I have been very fortunate in having a fairly understanding employer, and after a few months away, starting on anti-depressant meds and getting some counselling, i was able to return to work on a part time basis.

My problems have not gone away, but i am managing to cope with them better. I'm still taking the meds, and still not back up to full time work though getting towards it now. I've found a support network through talking on these forums, with friends scattered across the country. We've all got our own traumas, some mental, some physical, some emotional, all different but helping each other in small but important ways.

You're dead right that most of the folk we work with, and even our own families, are most often oblivious to the turmoil that we may be feeling. But there are people who understand, some of them being here on these forums.

Wishing you all the best, Polly xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for your messages.Totally understand and agree with them all.Cleared my mind now and hopefully get some sleep .

Thanks

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By *yr_OdinsonMan
over a year ago

Hanley

Rosso dude... its other people who have "issues" with yours and mine mental ILLNESSES...

I suffer from

Ptsd

Anxiety

Depression

Emtionally unstable personality disorder

I isolate myself on the really really bad days in my bed so i dont have to deal with the cock wombles and snowflakes of the world.

As i say..its illness not issues

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By *ittlemiss1985Woman
over a year ago

Lansing

I can relate. I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I hear "you don't look autistic" a lot. From what I understand symptoms present differently between girls and boys, and most of the common symptoms are mostly what show up in boys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how you feel bro, knowbody “understands” like they say they do, but when it all comes to a head and comes out like a dam breaking it’s nigh impossible to stem the flow. PM if needs be bro

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By *rAntrobusMan
over a year ago

Nantwich

There is still a huge stigma behind mental health for some, and for others it's just hard for them to understand.

I'm one of the people who push hard for mental health; I am a Mental Health First Aider which is basically someone who is dedicated to listen to others and help give support in a none judgemental say; I am also a life coach.

Mental Health is hard for people to understand, but we are getting better at encouraging others to talk about it. We need more people like yourself, to openly talk about it and tell your story! Well done mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey as you say one day at a time..small steps into bigger ones..stay busy..the more the mind needs to focus the less the demons have full run..I find driving is a good release with music..my mind automatically goes into what I call scalectrix mode in other words a mechanism kicks in that drives how I always drive..ultra safe..as to why people think we should look I'll. .am afraid whatever people may say in UKENT about being more aware today I have to say in my experience I found its but a trend to say and talk that talk but then when faced with a person who has a mental issue they don't walk the walk..they generally run and normally opposite direction..tis what it is..but that is my own opinion based on what I ve found..doesn't t make it right for everyone. Wishing you well and try not let others opinions drag you down..non carborundum est

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I posted this on the forum before. OP you can beat it.

From the outside it looks like i have life all figured out. Because i dress well and look healthy i must not have a care in the world. As if it were expected to wear my demons pinned to my chest in scarlet letters. People assume that if you cannot see it its not really there. As if pain does not exist unless I'm bleeding or my leg is in a cast staggering with a limp, but the most powerful demons are the ones you cannot see.

So i learned how to smile and grin and bear it. Nobody likes to talk about the tough stuff. I don't like to talk about the tough stuff.

I have anxiety.

Sometimes it feels like every nerve in my body is moving so fast that my veins are blurry. That despite the constant metronome of my heartbeat in my ears its like listening to a constant drum line. It feels like bees in my head. Like a broken white noise machine playing all the noise at once and i don't even realise i'm gritting my teeth or cracking my knuckles or holding myself thinking I'm the only thing bridging reality on my own two feet and the constant load noises and the fleeting feeling of blood rushing through my body. I'm avoiding eye contact, not because I'm not listening but because I'm listening to myself, hoping you cannot hear that I'm speaking two octaves to high. On the verge of breaking because my palms are sweating and i forgot to speak without showing my insecurity.

My anxiety feels like fire hot and rash and frustrating as i bite the inside of my cheek as if the solution of this problem lays between my teeth and gum.

It feels like drowning in fire. It feels like forever. It feels like I'm running with a trail of dust behind me because i'm moving faster than the sixty seconds allowed in one minute. All the time playing catch up on a stopwatch.

I cannot add up the problem because there is no problem.

There's no life or death no rhyme or reason. There are just feelings and i'm feeling all of them at once.

Some days were , are better than others. Some are worse ,but they are just days. I've plenty more of them.

Get help I did. It took courage to admit my demons. I'm Ok now. Above was me ten years ago. You can't beat it on your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure how to word this properly but I’m sick of being told by ppl that I don’t look or act like someone who suffers with mental health issues.

What am I supposed to look like ?

Do I need to walk around with a sign on my head?

I don’t need to promote anything I just want to crack on and get thru one day at a time."

Try and rise above those people, I work in mental health and there is no "look", it's an invisible affliction, and it can be such a debilitating illness. I'm glad that there is less stigma around these issues, still a long way to go though. Just a pity there will always be narrow minded people with narrow opinions..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yer sorry and thanks for the replies .I feel a bit embarrassed about it tbh.All is good

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Not sure how to delete the title and message.Anyway just ignore the above message it’s no big deal.

It is a big deal,it's a big deal to you and don't ever apologize for venting.

Don't bottle thing's up.

Talk to people.

Mental health issues are a fucking pain in the arse.

Mine have got worse the older I get.

Be strong,be nice.

Peace and love bro

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure how to word this properly but I’m sick of being told by ppl that I don’t look or act like someone who suffers with mental health issues.

What am I supposed to look like ?

Do I need to walk around with a sign on my head?

I don’t need to promote anything I just want to crack on and get thru one day at a time."

Similarly OP, I get "you're always happy, you mustn't have a care in the world". Sorry for putting a brave face on

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

"Not sure how to delete the title and message.Anyway just ignore the above message it’s no big deal.

Mental Health is a massive issue. Especially in men who find in far more difficult to talk as a whole. I’ve had friends suffer badly with horrendous consequences. And to be honest posting it on Fab is a great place to do it as it’s somewhat anonymous. Just know if anyone needs to talk, I’ll listen.. genuinely such an important topic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never be ashamed to admit that you struggle with mental health - many of us do and being on fab can make you feel vulnerable when confronted with people who seem quite brutal and harsh at times - just remember Not to judge yourself too harshly fella

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Lovely to see all these messages of support. We are not alone..

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I recently “came out” has having suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember to my best friend of 40 years. He was astounded.

Apparently being funny and engaging in person means you must be filled with joy at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health is one of them things no one really understands unless having personally exp it. so i find any way. Well for me i think all the jokes i make could be a defence front

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By *almprintsWoman
over a year ago

deepest, darkest West

"yer sorry and thanks for the replies .I feel a bit embarrassed about it tbh.All is good

No need, look at it this way; this many people, who you may or may not know, get what you are going through...and would listen if needed. All good things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can relate. I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I hear "you don't look autistic" a lot. From what I understand symptoms present differently between girls and boys, and most of the common symptoms are mostly what show up in boys. "

I have two boys and a girl all autistic and girls present totally different to the boys ! So keep rocking it chick xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your support.I find it really difficult talking to anyone I put my mask on and laugh my way through the day usually...Its quite refreshing how at ease I feel now.Without to much detail I suffer with Ptsd and anxiety.Im not on meds anymore and generally in control.Once agaim thanks to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on Sertraline 150mg for ages. I have GADD and PTSD from a previous nightmare relationship, followed by lots of bad luck. I'm often told I'm 'too normal/cheerful/well-looking' or that I don't need tablets. There is still a stigma around mental health. I just envy people who are ignorant about it, but I try to stick to The Four Agreements by Don Carlos Ruiz. Especially the one about not taking anything personally. I hope you find peace, happiness and amazing sex xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Those Sertraline blew my head off and they were only 50 mg.Tried them for 2 weeks and decided against meds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those Sertraline blew my head off and they were only 50 mg.Tried them for 2 weeks and decided against meds."

They often take about 4 weeks to used to but I totally get if you think they are not for you. X

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By *unshine05Man
over a year ago

Sherborne

The stigma needs to end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shall I come suck your cock! Would that help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ha ha nice 1...humour is always the way forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha nice 1...humour is always the way forward

Just my mask!!! Although as I have posted previously I also suffer (I actually think everyone does but only the brave admit it) and have been known to use sex as an escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha nice 1...humour is always the way forward

Just my mask!!! Although as I have posted previously I also suffer (I actually think everyone does but only the brave admit it) and have been known to use sex as an escape. "

I think it's brilliant that people are opening up and talking but I will just say, if someone chooses not to talk about doesn't mean they are weak or not brave.

Everyone deals with it the best way they know how.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Snap x most people have no idea how many around them are struggling too.. it’s good to share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snap x most people have no idea how many around them are struggling too.. it’s good to share."

Xxxx

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"Thank you all for your support.I find it really difficult talking to anyone I put my mask on and laugh my way through the day usually...Its quite refreshing how at ease I feel now.Without to much detail I suffer with Ptsd and anxiety.Im not on meds anymore and generally in control.Once agaim thanks to everyone"

Sending love OP. Thanks for shouting out. It always gives others a line too. In airing our own wounds we can also offer healing to the rest of the tribe!

Ptsd and anxiety is crippling. I know first hand. Trusting your wisdom and finding your strategies and maps will bring you through to an easier place .. and you can add wings to your being having been through such powerful times!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes at first I was feeling sorry for myself but realised theres ppl far worse off than me....Everyone got shit goin on 1 way or another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those Sertraline blew my head off and they were only 50 mg.Tried them for 2 weeks and decided against meds."

I decided to try anything until I found something that worked. I tried Citalopram first - didn't touch it! Thankfully Sertraline works for me. It's just a trial and error thing unfortunately. But there should be no shame in it. People are scared of what they cant see or don't understand. Hang on in there though. And talk!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it just takes one bellend on here to say something nasty and that can be a trigger!

If only there was just a little more love and understanding, it would be easier for all of us.

I think all of you should be proud for coming forward and dropping your guard for a second, in order to reach out to other human beings.... xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ha ha seems to be a popular word lately bellend.Use it a lot at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner and I have been on meds for years, we have the same personality disorder. Humour works, I often say our song should be "Still Crazy After All These Years"

. But we take our meds and listen to our doctors and support each other and we do OK mostly but it's not always easy, in fact sometimes it's really fucking hard. Facing up to it takes strength and courage, you should never be embarrassed. Never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha seems to be a popular word lately bellend.Use it a lot at the moment."

It cracks me up too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sending love OP. Thanks for shouting out. It always gives others a line too. In airing our own wounds we can also offer healing to the rest of the tribe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think men and children of african/Caribbean parents get a bit of a raw deal when it comes to dealing with mental health issues.

Men often get told that they need to "man up" etc hence why they tend not to speak about things and 1st gen black british folk often get told that mental health issues are "white people things " which is completely ridiculous.

Everyone should be able to discuss mental health issues without having bullshit opinions/stereotypes/negative connotations attached to it

But unfortunately people enjoy judging too much for that to ever happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure how to word this properly but I’m sick of being told by ppl that I don’t look or act like someone who suffers with mental health issues.

What am I supposed to look like ?

Do I need to walk around with a sign on my head?

I don’t need to promote anything I just want to crack on and get thru one day at a time."

A tinfoil hat usually does the trick!

On a serious note. It's nothing to be ashamed of. The brain is another muscle we all carry things with. If your arms were sore from carrying something , you would put it down, give yourself a rest and pick it up when you were ready and start again. Each time the muscle s get stronger and you carry more weight or for longer periods of time before you need to rest. Unfortunately , we find it difficult to put down that weight when it's in our mind and as time goes on you feel weakness until you struggle. You need to learn how to put that weight down and let yourself come back stronger. There's alot of miles still to go and rest periods are essential to the body, mind and soul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly mental health service is not very good hasn't been for over 15 yrs at LEAST..

Self help

Emdr counselling

NLP

Mindfulness app

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate too. I had a car crash 20 years ago and suffered a head injury. I get it, depression and anxiety among other things! Not sure why I'm writing this now. Your not alone op!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/01/20 04:06:28]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think men and children of african/Caribbean parents get a bit of a raw deal when it comes to dealing with mental health issues.

Everyone should be able to discuss mental health issues without having bullshit opinions/stereotypes/negative connotations attached to it

But unfortunately people enjoy judging too much for that to ever happen

A broken leg......Crutches

A broken arm ....Sling

Mental health issue....invisible mask

This sums up how ppl around me think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inboxed you, OP. Virtual hugs and snugs sent too xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think men and children of african/Caribbean parents get a bit of a raw deal when it comes to dealing with mental health issues.

Everyone should be able to discuss mental health issues without having bullshit opinions/stereotypes/negative connotations attached to it

But unfortunately people enjoy judging too much for that to ever happen

A broken leg......Crutches

A broken arm ....Sling

Mental health issue....invisible mask

This sums up how ppl around me think."

Yup

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By *undayTarkaMan
over a year ago

North Devon,

Yep always suffered from it me too, bad and good days fitness is my get out of jail card, still serving in the military so i can't blab about it to a doctor or anything, booze being the enemy of it though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure how to delete the title and message.Anyway just ignore the above message it’s no big deal.

Well I for one suffer with depression and I support you completely. It is true it is the unseen illness and just because I am cheerful normally does not mean that I do not have bad days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quote from the Joker movie which struck me as true

"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't"

Get some support and be kind to yourself x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

it’s hard to explain without going very deep and would be 20 pages long .CBT didn’t work they said my case was too severe for them to deal with.Seeing ppl face to face and talking sort of makes everything fresh and I have to deal with my thought process again.I have a crisis team if needed.All is good for now found it extremely helpful on here .Plus always free to listen and learn from other ppls experiences.

You lot on here know more than most ppl in the job.I don’t get how a Dr says I know how your feeling when he’s never experienced it .

Thanks and have a good day all .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it’s hard to explain without going very deep and would be 20 pages long .CBT didn’t work they said my case was too severe for them to deal with.Seeing ppl face to face and talking sort of makes everything fresh and I have to deal with my thought process again.I have a crisis team if needed.All is good for now found it extremely helpful on here .Plus always free to listen and learn from other ppls experiences.

You lot on here know more than most ppl in the job.I don’t get how a Dr says I know how your feeling when he’s never experienced it .

Thanks and have a good day all ."

I get what you mean about opening up the can of worms. I have had four serious depressive episodes in the last thirty years, many prompted by life challenges, changing career, death of loved ones, bad accidents, etc and because I haven’t got great family support I have had to take my troubles to the doctors and therapy. I am on 150ug of Sertaline and am fairly settled on it now. I had issues with being on medication all the time but having found the right dose at last I am ok with being on Sertraline for the foreseeable future. It does take six weeks to start working properly and during that time you might feel a bit bilious but that does settle down and the level of calm it brings is great so I wouldnt give up on it too quickly if I were you. Talking therapy is good too. I got more out of one to one sessions but I have done group work too which was interesting if only to get other people’s experience of depression and anxiety. Anyway, take heart and keep fab .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s what being a man is all about - it’s also the fact we judge before we even know the issue.

If we seen a woman stood crying - we might not think something is serious, more so just being a little dramatic?

It’s okay to not be okay as they say, not everyone has good days. Just be sure to surround yourself with good people and have a least 1 person you can openly chat to about any issue you have.

If need be - I’ll even open my DM’s for anyone to get something off their chest. It’s all about support.

Anyway - take no notice, you do you & if things get bad for anyone. Please be sure to get the best help possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't want to take meds either, I told my doctor so. She asked me why not and I couldn't come up with a sensible reason. She said she'd been prescribing citalopram for years and thought it should be in the water supply. I thought "well you must know more than me, you have to, it makes no sense not to listen". And three weeks later literally overnight the lights came back on. I still had work to do and I still do, always will have. There's no cure for BPD or depression, you can only treat the symptoms. The meds just help you do what you need to do, they stop you becoming overwhelmed and paralysed. But from the sound of it your experience has been out of the realm of the everyday.

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