FabSwingers.com forum: I think it’s important

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To own mistakes you’ve made.

I was reading something earlier and although my thoughts aren’t a mistake, I should’ve thought about the larger picture.

I’m actually quite pissed off with myself too because I think I turn away from people too quickly, when a simple conversation could rectify things. I smell drama - I walk. My sense of smell isn’t always good it seems.

Are you good at owning things or are you not?

It’s been a contemplative afternoon - all down to reading one persons post.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

At least you've realised there are things you know are down to you and you accept your flaws so you can do something about it.

I'm like you and will often walk away rather than face the issues head on or apologise....big mistakes have been made and they're on me.

I'm getting better at it as I've seen more good things disappear from my life and I dont want to be like that anymore.

A simple sorry can be hard to do and your past can have an effect on that but you can change it with a bit of work.

That you're contemplating things is a good sign of being a decent person

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At least you've realised there are things you know are down to you and you accept your flaws so you can do something about it.

I'm like you and will often walk away rather than face the issues head on or apologise....big mistakes have been made and they're on me.

I'm getting better at it as I've seen more good things disappear from my life and I dont want to be like that anymore.

A simple sorry can be hard to do and your past can have an effect on that but you can change it with a bit of work.

That you're contemplating things is a good sign of being a decent person

The irony is I bleat on about being a decent person, but I’ve still lots of work to do

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

We’ve all got a long way to go, but as long as you look at yourself honestly and want to improve, that’s an excellent start.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We’ve all got a long way to go, but as long as you look at yourself honestly and want to improve, that’s an excellent start.

Don’t be so hard on yourself "

I’m taking my own self criticism on the chin

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m extremely stubborn, but if i think i’m in the wrong then i’ll say it and i’ll apologise.

It might take a few hours/days though before i do that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m extremely stubborn, but if i think i’m in the wrong then i’ll say it and i’ll apologise.

It might take a few hours/days though before i do that."

I’ve no problem in apologising if I’m wrong

Thing is - sometimes I don’t find out if I was wrong because I’ve walked away

Thoughtful processes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To own mistakes you’ve made.

I was reading something earlier and although my thoughts aren’t a mistake, I should’ve thought about the larger picture.

Are you good at owning things or are you not?

It’s been a contemplative afternoon - all down to reading one persons post.

"
until the last year I didn't realise how much I run away only when something big in my life happened and I had to. Take stock and now I realise how important it is to learn from my mistakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It definitely is important to own your own mistakes and flaws, otherwise it is harder to grow as a person.

It's not an easy thing to do, but once one realises their flaws and imperfections, it is easier to empathise with others.

Also, it means, as you understand yourself better, you'll be able to handle drama's and tough times better as you will be more mindful of your own actions.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"At least you've realised there are things you know are down to you and you accept your flaws so you can do something about it.

I'm like you and will often walk away rather than face the issues head on or apologise....big mistakes have been made and they're on me.

I'm getting better at it as I've seen more good things disappear from my life and I dont want to be like that anymore.

A simple sorry can be hard to do and your past can have an effect on that but you can change it with a bit of work.

That you're contemplating things is a good sign of being a decent person

The irony is I bleat on about being a decent person, but I’ve still lots of work to do "

And that is one of the biggest parts of being a decent person.

If you weren't trying to work on it and didn't give a shit about how you treat others or think of them then that's a dick way to be.

Don't knock yourself for that ever (although if you're like me, you always will)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Try to be , think it’s important to, sign of maturity and wisdom. Not always easy , usually best to do it quickly and simply don’t make a big deal of it, then put it behind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To own mistakes you’ve made.

I was reading something earlier and although my thoughts aren’t a mistake, I should’ve thought about the larger picture.

Are you good at owning things or are you not?

It’s been a contemplative afternoon - all down to reading one persons post.

until the last year I didn't realise how much I run away only when something big in my life happened and I had to. Take stock and now I realise how important it is to learn from my mistakes "

I hear you

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Oh oh, you’ve not put your foot in it have you OP?

Dust off, say sorry, push them boobs out and you go girl

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

None of us are perfect ... and always give someone the chance and at times I’ve got it wrong, good or bad ... all u can do is learn and accept yr mistakes and failings but sometimes yr right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At least you've realised there are things you know are down to you and you accept your flaws so you can do something about it.

I'm like you and will often walk away rather than face the issues head on or apologise....big mistakes have been made and they're on me.

I'm getting better at it as I've seen more good things disappear from my life and I dont want to be like that anymore.

A simple sorry can be hard to do and your past can have an effect on that but you can change it with a bit of work.

That you're contemplating things is a good sign of being a decent person

The irony is I bleat on about being a decent person, but I’ve still lots of work to do "

You can be a decent person, and have work to do.

We all do, and the fact you recognise that shows that you are decent.

My belief is that we should work on ourselves always

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It definitely is important to own your own mistakes and flaws, otherwise it is harder to grow as a person.

It's not an easy thing to do, but once one realises their flaws and imperfections, it is easier to empathise with others.

Also, it means, as you understand yourself better, you'll be able to handle drama's and tough times better as you will be more mindful of your own actions. "

True

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try to be , think it’s important to, sign of maturity and wisdom. Not always easy , usually best to do it quickly and simply don’t make a big deal of it, then put it behind."

Yes indeed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh oh, you’ve not put your foot in it have you OP?

Dust off, say sorry, push them boobs out and you go girl

No, I’ve not put my foot in it

Judged too quickly on something and walked away without asking for clarification on gossip

Done now - just made me thoughtful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At least you've realised there are things you know are down to you and you accept your flaws so you can do something about it.

I'm like you and will often walk away rather than face the issues head on or apologise....big mistakes have been made and they're on me.

I'm getting better at it as I've seen more good things disappear from my life and I dont want to be like that anymore.

A simple sorry can be hard to do and your past can have an effect on that but you can change it with a bit of work.

That you're contemplating things is a good sign of being a decent person

The irony is I bleat on about being a decent person, but I’ve still lots of work to do

You can be a decent person, and have work to do.

We all do, and the fact you recognise that shows that you are decent.

My belief is that we should work on ourselves always "

Always x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To own mistakes you’ve made.

I was reading something earlier and although my thoughts aren’t a mistake, I should’ve thought about the larger picture.

Are you good at owning things or are you not?

It’s been a contemplative afternoon - all down to reading one persons post.

until the last year I didn't realise how much I run away only when something big in my life happened and I had to. Take stock and now I realise how important it is to learn from my mistakes

I hear you "
one of life's. Gems comunicating xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s good to be thoughtful

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I own my mistakes and try to learn from them. But I do that in my own way, on my own time, and then try to mend any damage done where applicable.

Anyone trying to force me into their model of learning and making amends will get a very poor reception.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I own my mistakes and try to learn from them. But I do that in my own way, on my own time, and then try to mend any damage done where applicable.

Anyone trying to force me into their model of learning and making amends will get a very poor reception. "

Absolutely

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I own my mistakes and try to learn from them. But I do that in my own way, on my own time, and then try to mend any damage done where applicable.

Anyone trying to force me into their model of learning and making amends will get a very poor reception.

Absolutely

Thing is, for me, I beat myself up over my mistakes, am often incredibly apologetic, and do my utmost to do right by people.

Unless you try to force it too soon or outside how I'm comfortable. Then I'll shut down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s good to be thoughtful "
it's what keeps greed and self obsession at bay ,this is a wonderful thread thank you x

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

If I'm in the wrong I'm always happy to hold my hands up and apologise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I'm in the wrong I'm always happy to hold my hands up and apologise.

I am too - no problem with apologising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To own mistakes you’ve made.

I was reading something earlier and although my thoughts aren’t a mistake, I should’ve thought about the larger picture.

Are you good at owning things or are you not?

It’s been a contemplative afternoon - all down to reading one persons post.

"
you know no-one until you meet them for a while, own your mistakes you made them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the opposite problem to you OP, have to keep asking questions until I understand what exactly is happening. It’s a problem as even if the other person says leave me alone, I just can’t and really do their heads in sometimes...

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got too hold your hands up ,

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yes i own them then apologise as for walking away maybe i should stop doing it but i just cut people out my life. I own it but i wont change it

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"I have the opposite problem to you OP, have to keep asking questions until I understand what exactly is happening. It’s a problem as even if the other person says leave me alone, I just can’t and really do their heads in sometimes...

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow."

Both can be helpful in differing situations but certainly not all cases.

When one of each of these meet and cant get their heads around the other ones need to either slug it out or walk away, the results can be disastrous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i own them then apologise as for walking away maybe i should stop doing it but i just cut people out my life. I own it but i wont change it"
that's a hard one.cutting your nose off to spite your face

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow.

Both can be helpful in differing situations but certainly not all cases.

When one of each of these meet and cant get their heads around the other ones need to either slug it out or walk away, the results can be disastrous.

God, yes.

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By *alesfinestMan
over a year ago

Pontypridd

I think it's important to be honest with yourself as well as others....

We ain't all perfect, we all have our flaws but if we are true to ourselves then we have absolutely nothing to regret...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's important to be honest with yourself as well as others....

We ain't all perfect, we all have our flaws but if we are true to ourselves then we have absolutely nothing to regret... "

True ... but I think over time this site has made me ever so cynical

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm almost always open to making amends and starting again, too. Even if it may need to be with a new way of interacting, after a long time cooling off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes i own them then apologise as for walking away maybe i should stop doing it but i just cut people out my life. I own it but i wont change it"

Same here

I hear drama - so I walk before I become embroiled in it

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Must always remember that an apology is not admission if guilt or that you have necessarily done somethibg wrong.

It can be an acknowledgement of someone's feelings or situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must always remember that an apology is not admission if guilt or that you have necessarily done somethibg wrong.

It can be an acknowledgement of someone's feelings or situation.

Absolutely

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's important to be honest with yourself as well as others....

We ain't all perfect, we all have our flaws but if we are true to ourselves then we have absolutely nothing to regret...

True ... but I think over time this site has made me ever so cynical"

This site has made me both more defensive and more grateful for those who matter.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Coming up against dishonesty is what make you cynical.

Honesty and the truth you can deal with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good to read all the thoughts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Coming up against dishonesty is what make you cynical.

Honesty and the truth you can deal with "

That’s the truth .... wise

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By *alesfinestMan
over a year ago

Pontypridd

It's only you who! And ultimately always you who decides who you want in your life, in your bed, who you want to be touched by!!

We only live once!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re all human and mistakes are inevitable just have to learn from them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's only you who! And ultimately always you who decides who you want in your life, in your bed, who you want to be touched by!!

We only live once!."

It’s not about sex .... drama follows people on here like shadows in summer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lifes hard enough without something that's ment to bring you fun ,happy Ness being this site is making you doubt and cynical surely it's doing the opposite ,I've been on the site for 2 years I've not had one date but as embarrassin as that sound I still get something from it the chance to chat to people who think like me.when it comes to my sex life and a bit of hope she s out there my perfect match I feel for you that you seem to have lost the positive of this environment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow.

Both can be helpful in differing situations but certainly not all cases.

When one of each of these meet and cant get their heads around the other ones need to either slug it out or walk away, the results can be disastrous.

Don’t I know it...

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I also think the ability to walk away is much healthier. There’s always the option to go back which my behaviour doesn’t allow.

Both can be helpful in differing situations but certainly not all cases.

When one of each of these meet and cant get their heads around the other ones need to either slug it out or walk away, the results can be disastrous.

Don’t I know it...

Join the club!

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By *alesfinestMan
over a year ago

Pontypridd

I'm not just on about sex, I'm on about who you choose to have, knowing or unknowingly weather drama is going to follow!!

Being true to yourself and other's meaning you lay the law down straight from the start.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not just on about sex, I'm on about who you choose to have, knowing or unknowingly weather drama is going to follow!!

Being true to yourself and other's meaning you lay the law down straight from the start.

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