FabSwingers.com forum: DIY SUCKS!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t do it cause you’re not a man. Duh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You can’t do it cause you’re not a man. Duh"

Ahhhh that's what it is - I knew I needed a penis for something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

My house needs a fair few repairs and plenty of decoration and I do want to be able to do it myself. The other thing that puts me off is the walls are black brick and that shit is mega tough to drill through so I'd need a big ole drill which frightens me and costs a small fortune I think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

"
who cares what it looks like ..its an under sink cupboard.. No one will pay close attention to it..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

who cares what it looks like ..its an under sink cupboard.. No one will pay close attention to it..

But it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa

And its massive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a bit of d.i.y me; happily help anyone tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just from a guys point of view, I blood hate DIY! Why do women pick such odd colours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

I think it's a rock solid idea. Fab female only day with life skills. Then we can all rock the town afterwards, or let B out of the under stairs cupboard to inspect the work naked. Fuck, he can be our naked butler and drinks pourer for the day.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m great at DIBY - Do It (Badly) Yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m great at DIBY - Do It (Badly) Yourself"

Balls, you and your man chest were my second in command if Phoenix declined to teach us

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I’m great at DIBY - Do It (Badly) Yourself

Balls, you and your man chest were my second in command if Phoenix declined to teach us

To be fair, I do make great glory holes.

Well, that’s what I term these wonderful apertures after I’ve been typically clumsy with a masonry drill....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m shit at it as well. Took me two days to put a wardrobe together. It collapsed after a month, hate diy

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I attended a training day recently, which end with how to identify the strengths and weakness of your staff and their capabilities.

It was likened to putting together a flat pack DIY

Those who will unpack the box, check all the contents are there, read the instructions and assemble accordingly.

Those who will unpack the box, check the contents and YouTube the instructions because the included manual didn’t make sense

Those who will unpack the box, get all the contents out. Regardless of it all being there, just attempt assembly!!

Which one are you?

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Don't get cocky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Seeeeeeeee!

We womensies CAN do it.

Phoenix for president!

She's got a drill

And she knows how to use iiiiiit

I now have an Aerosmith earworm.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Don't get cocky

Moi?

This morning, as part of a local conservation group.

I've dug 6 5'x3' holes & planted oak saplings.

I did all this, supervising 3 hyper teenagers, while 3 groups of 4 men, managed to plant 6 trees between all of them

I require no cock to excel in a mans world

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Seeeeeeeee!

We womensies CAN do it.

Phoenix for president!

She's got a drill

And she knows how to use iiiiiit

I now have an Aerosmith earworm.

Only if you'll be my First Lady xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Seeeeeeeee!

We womensies CAN do it.

Phoenix for president!

She's got a drill

And she knows how to use iiiiiit

I now have an Aerosmith earworm.

Only if you'll be my First Lady xx"

Yaaaaaay

Lead us in wise one.

Mary, mary, MARYYYYYYYYY

We got hope. WE HAVE DIY HOPE DAMMIT!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm pretty poor at DIY. I think the secret is to post a meet for someone who has some skill and motivation, using the latter to ensure that they finish the job, before any - if any - sex.

House rewiring. Roof retiled, scaffolding service, extension built etc Free blowjob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like DIY. I even impressed my landlords electrician when he realised I'd changed the light fitments from 3 armed chandeliers to standard light fitments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

I hate it and I am also crap at it. Ikea and flat pack furniture should be banned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I attended a training day recently, which end with how to identify the strengths and weakness of your staff and their capabilities.

It was likened to putting together a flat pack DIY

Those who will unpack the box, check all the contents are there, read the instructions and assemble accordingly.

Those who will unpack the box, check the contents and YouTube the instructions because the included manual didn’t make sense

Those who will unpack the box, get all the contents out. Regardless of it all being there, just attempt assembly!!

Which one are you?

Option 3 me, don't read manuals just look at the pics and so far all has been good xx

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

Happy to pop round and put together an erection for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I loooooove DIY and flat pack assembly, so fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a post with a guy offering to do odd jobs naked. Maybe give him a message next time

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

I’m really good with building furniture from flat packs, I can paint but struggle hanging wall paper. I know how to put shelves up, but if I try n use a drill I just make a big swirly pattern across the wall ooops!

Beryl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Phoenix isn’t a woman. She’s a fucking goddess

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I loooooove DIY and flat pack assembly, so fun

I love you

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

U should of asked me, I’d of popped round and assembled yr pack

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

Sorry no . I'm practical and an engineer

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By *illy999TV/TS
over a year ago

Taunton

"I just tried to put a flat pack under sink cupboard together.

Massive fail

It looks like a toddler put it together.

I hate DIY - why can't I do it?

Who else is just as crap as me?

Sorry no . I'm practical and an engineer "

I've just completed a Vostok ICBM copy ,when I've fired the engines up I'll drop by if you wish . Hope the noise doesn't upset your neighbours ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DIY is one thing I’m glad I can do, really really glad! Plus I don’t actually mind it and a lot of it I enjoy.

Just managed to renovate my entire house before moving in, everything from skirting to the architrave needed sorting.

Did the painting and wallpapering, jetwashed the entire outside, fit new ceiling lights etc. 5 weeks work in total, including the carpets and laminate it came in around £3000 for everything.

It’s worth getting to grips with as even a general handyman is charging around £130 per day just on labour.

The only thing i haven’t tried is plastering.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I want to be able to do it but in all honesty I've never really tried.

I can paint ok but that's about my limit. I don't have the tools to do anymore than that, in fact I've only recently became a hammer owner

I feel the same way - Ivebeen looking at drills this morning.

I dont know what the fucking fuck I'm doing either

Maybe Queen Leviosa is right you need a penis to be any good at DIY

I'm not having it. PhoenixAdAstra is the DIY queen and I know she hasn't got one. She's my DIY hero with a fanny. She should give lessons.... at my house.

Oh look at that my house has magically transformed and I sat back, watched and learned!

Winner.

I'll provide bacon butties and maybe some gin.

Mwhahahaaa ( evil genius laugh )

I like your style Miss Peach

You will need an SDS drill for blue/black brick

I have an SDS drill, and in honour of my nomination, I'm bringing a pic out of hiding

Has tools, knows how to use them & a not a damn penis in site

Seeeeeeeee!

We womensies CAN do it.

Phoenix for president!

She's got a drill

And she knows how to use iiiiiit

I now have an Aerosmith earworm.

Only if you'll be my First Lady xx

Yaaaaaay

Lead us in wise one.

Mary, mary, MARYYYYYYYYY

We got hope. WE HAVE DIY HOPE DAMMIT!

Hurrah

We need a drill party immediately!

I purchased a hammer drill - pray for me

Phoenix you dont want me and Peachy to die from drill wounds do you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?"

It's both wobbly and wonky

I think I put the hinges of the doors on the wrong way round

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I loooooove DIY and flat pack assembly, so fun

Dont

Tell

Fibs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m shit at it as well. Took me two days to put a wardrobe together. It collapsed after a month, hate diy "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?

It's both wobbly and wonky

I think I put the hinges of the doors on the wrong way round

If you're not too far away, I'm happy to help

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By *rghYeTimbersMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Feel your pain OP.

I've been trying to put a kids dolls house together since Xmas.

I'm blaming wonky screws (pardon!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?

It's both wobbly and wonky

I think I put the hinges of the doors on the wrong way round

If you're not too far away, I'm happy to help"

That's nice of you

I think I've done it though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?

It's both wobbly and wonky

I think I put the hinges of the doors on the wrong way round

If you're not too far away, I'm happy to help

That's nice of you

I think I've done it though!"

It took you a while haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like it but mostly the instructions are crappy, so it takes me a long time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite enjoy a bit of flat pack making. But, being a cabinet maker, much prefer making my own stuff. Is it wobbly? Or just wonky?

It's both wobbly and wonky

I think I put the hinges of the doors on the wrong way round

If you're not too far away, I'm happy to help

That's nice of you

I think I've done it though!"

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I have a go at most stuff, except anything with gas pipes. If you make a mistake with lecky there's a bit of a bang and the breaker goes in the fuse box. If you make a mistake with gas there's a lot of a bang and you go to meet your maker...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not bad at putting together flatpack and can do other minor jobs but that's about it.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I am no expert but learnt a lot from youtube and just taking time reading the instructions.

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By *appy69coupleCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

diy is all about having the right tools, lots of patience and spending at least much time on preparation as you do on the job itself.

confidence and experience helps, but the above things are the most important.

wait, are we still talking about diy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the instructions missing bits and holes that are too small that i dont get

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

If you dont mind paying some local oik 180 quid to do a simple job badly, go ahead.

If you cant teach yourself to do simple DIY jobs after looking at You tube, you should not be allowed out alone orb to drive a motor vehicle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you dont mind paying some local oik 180 quid to do a simple job badly, go ahead.

If you cant teach yourself to do simple DIY jobs after looking at You tube, you should not be allowed out alone orb to drive a motor vehicle.

This is why I have a bicycle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got four lots of flat pack to assemble. I know I can do it but I just can’t be bothered

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