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Read but not deleted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all, this my first post.

Sending messages on here can lead to quite a few responses.

1. Message is read and then replied to in a fairly short space of time. Reply could be positive or negative

2. Message is read, no reply, and deleted. Leaving sender questioning, “was it bulk deleted, or because I said something wrong, or because they didn’t like my face photo. Then the obvious thought to try again just in case it was bulk deleted and run the risk of being a pest and being blocked.

3. Message read, not deleted, and no reply. This for me is the worst as I’m now completely unsure where to go with this. If I message again and it still remains ‘read’ and then again, I’m a pest and start kicking myself for appearing desperate. But on the other hand, perhaps they want me to make the effort.

Does anyone else have this issue?

What do you do about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone wants to engage with you, they'll reply when they read your message, minus any game playing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, this my first post.

Sending messages on here can lead to quite a few responses.

1. Message is read and then replied to in a fairly short space of time. Reply could be positive or negative

2. Message is read, no reply, and deleted. Leaving sender questioning, “was it bulk deleted, or because I said something wrong, or because they didn’t like my face photo. Then the obvious thought to try again just in case it was bulk deleted and run the risk of being a pest and being blocked.

3. Message read, not deleted, and no reply. This for me is the worst as I’m now completely unsure where to go with this. If I message again and it still remains ‘read’ and then again, I’m a pest and start kicking myself for appearing desperate. But on the other hand, perhaps they want me to make the effort.

Does anyone else have this issue?

What do you do about it?"

I tend to send a friend request and a wink, and if no joy after that, I'll send a few more messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well that’s rather depressing then.

Although I have had numerous replies at later date where they have said the points I raised (and more). I didn’t just make them up because I live in a deluded bubble ha. Or do i

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does that work on occassions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your sent box so you have no idea what has happened to your messages.

Stops you wondering and torturing yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, this my first post.

Sending messages on here can lead to quite a few responses.

1. Message is read and then replied to in a fairly short space of time. Reply could be positive or negative

2. Message is read, no reply, and deleted. Leaving sender questioning, “was it bulk deleted, or because I said something wrong, or because they didn’t like my face photo. Then the obvious thought to try again just in case it was bulk deleted and run the risk of being a pest and being blocked.

3. Message read, not deleted, and no reply. This for me is the worst as I’m now completely unsure where to go with this. If I message again and it still remains ‘read’ and then again, I’m a pest and start kicking myself for appearing desperate. But on the other hand, perhaps they want me to make the effort.

Does anyone else have this issue?

What do you do about it?"

Don't overthink it and definitely don't pester, as per the site FAQ, no reply = not interested, read or otherwise.

If they want to contact you I'm sure they will, best just to move on OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does that work on occassions?"

It works only 9 times out of 10.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete my sent box after any messages I send.

Any reply’s are a bonus

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks Lola and Miss daisy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Delete your sent box so you have no idea what has happened to your messages.

Stops you wondering and torturing yourself."
this

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Bit like a job application.

They might reply, they might not.

Anyhow, keep looking in the jobs column.

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London


"Hi all, this my first post.

Sending messages on here can lead to quite a few responses.

1. Message is read and then replied to in a fairly short space of time. Reply could be positive or negative

2. Message is read, no reply, and deleted. Leaving sender questioning, “was it bulk deleted, or because I said something wrong, or because they didn’t like my face photo. Then the obvious thought to try again just in case it was bulk deleted and run the risk of being a pest and being blocked.

3. Message read, not deleted, and no reply. This for me is the worst as I’m now completely unsure where to go with this. If I message again and it still remains ‘read’ and then again, I’m a pest and start kicking myself for appearing desperate. But on the other hand, perhaps they want me to make the effort.

Does anyone else have this issue?

What do you do about it?"

Messaging again is rarely seen as 'making the effort'

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville


"Does that work on occassions?

It works only 9 times out of 10. "

Your prof is fabulous hun! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok, perhaps I meant, chase.

Some women like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We read all the messages but don't delete them so the history is there if messaged again. We don't reply to messages where it's clear that our profile was either not read or ignored or those that are along the lines of "what r u up to" or those who are miles away and clearly we won't be meeting due to distance or time constraints. The rest we reply to.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only just started to get into the forums the last couple of weeks and have seen this come up a lot.

Ive also seen peeps get equally disappointed and post on here about actually getting a reply, beginning chats, and then the sender disappears.

Some great advice in pretty much all of the above posts. I'd also like to add that adopting a more relaxed and laid back attitude, and approach, will pay dividends when the replies do come in.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that you are, but most people can sense desperation within a 1st line and that'll send most running to the delete, and maybe even block button.

Good luck

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By *eachesAndCream99Couple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

Sometimes we get so bombarded with messages, we have no choice but to bulk delete (We know we shouldn’t grumble and should see it positively). However, some messages we just have to block the sender due to the tone or pushiness of the message...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you send a message realise you made a mistake and it is not yet read and then you delete it...does it delete completely for the receiver who hadn't yet opened it? Or do they still see the message and it's only been removed from your sent items mailbox?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"If you send a message realise you made a mistake and it is not yet read and then you delete it...does it delete completely for the receiver who hadn't yet opened it? Or do they still see the message and it's only been removed from your sent items mailbox?"

They still see it, there's no way to retract a sent message apart from deleting your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahh thanks for clarifying

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