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"Hi " Well hello! It's nice to see I'm not alone =) | |||
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"How do. " Good morning! There are already more of us than I thought there might be :') | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them " That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record. | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record." Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices. It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them! But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record. Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices. It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them! But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them " That's so true! Like I just want to live a good life with my husband and my cat, and kids just simply aren't part of that picture for us and never have been. It's amazing how much it bothers some people | |||
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"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so. I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo " Ewww, that's gross. You should do the same next time you take a dump! | |||
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"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so. I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo " I hope your response to them was, that's pretty sh*t | |||
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"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so. I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo " I have one and I even zone out when people talk about their kids. Facebook Moms are the worst where every single thing their kid does goes on there. | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them Sounds true That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record. Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices. It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them! But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them That's so true! Like I just want to live a good life with my husband and my cat, and kids just simply aren't part of that picture for us and never have been. It's amazing how much it bothers some people " | |||
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"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private. Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there." I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =) | |||
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"I never wanted children as i was far too selfish in my younger years to even contemplate having to spend my time nurturing another human being... However, that all changed when i met my ex and my priorities changed.. but i did wait until i was 39 to have one " Not wanting children isn't selfish. I don't want to pass my health problems onto a child. I can and do give in other ways. | |||
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"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private. Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there. I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =)" As permanent as I'm allowed to go is the Mirena. I have significant gynaecological health issues and pregnancy would probably be difficult for me. I've been clear, adamant, and consistent since my teens that I don't want children. I'm thirty fucking four. "But you might change your miiiiind" | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record." It is funny when people ask ‘why don’t you have kids?’ isn’t it? Like being single or having a certain career or lifestyle, some people clearly cannot just be ‘happy’ without some things. Obviously no idea what it’s like from a female perspective though, so can’t comment on that really. I am kid free, and it’s certainly not anything that would make me feel bad or negative. | |||
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"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private. Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there. I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =) As permanent as I'm allowed to go is the Mirena. I have significant gynaecological health issues and pregnancy would probably be difficult for me. I've been clear, adamant, and consistent since my teens that I don't want children. I'm thirty fucking four. "But you might change your miiiiind" " They won't sterilise me yet because I'm too young, and also due to mental health issues. But I've tried various (read, almost every) contraception options available. I can't have anything hormonal as it interferes with my existing conditions, and the copper coil which I've tried twice just doesn't work for me, I had to have an operation to remove it the last time. So we're currently alternating between regular and internal condoms until we can get him in for a vasectomy. It's so silly, no one ever double checks if a pregnant woman wants an abortion because she might change her mind in a few years | |||
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"Hell, I even had one doctor try to persuade me to have kids by telling me I needed to pass on my pretty eyes and show me a picture of baby feet (years ago). Oooh baby feet so cute bye bye brain I'm a feeble minded woman... Oh wait, no. Blue eyes are a recessive trait, moron." | |||
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"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private. Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there. I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =) As permanent as I'm allowed to go is the Mirena. I have significant gynaecological health issues and pregnancy would probably be difficult for me. I've been clear, adamant, and consistent since my teens that I don't want children. I'm thirty fucking four. "But you might change your miiiiind" They won't sterilise me yet because I'm too young, and also due to mental health issues. But I've tried various (read, almost every) contraception options available. I can't have anything hormonal as it interferes with my existing conditions, and the copper coil which I've tried twice just doesn't work for me, I had to have an operation to remove it the last time. So we're currently alternating between regular and internal condoms until we can get him in for a vasectomy. It's so silly, no one ever double checks if a pregnant woman wants an abortion because she might change her mind in a few years " The suffering unwanted children likely go through and yet it's those who try to prevent that happening that get pushback. Won't somebody think of the children etc. I am. I'm keeping mine hypothetical because it's in their best fucking interests. | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." I think in the past there was a stigma about women who hadn't had kids.... Now it's a choice women have embrassed for a variety of reasons... Good on ya girls | |||
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"I never wanted children as i was far too selfish in my younger years to even contemplate having to spend my time nurturing another human being... However, that all changed when i met my ex and my priorities changed.. but i did wait until i was 39 to have one Not wanting children isn't selfish. I don't want to pass my health problems onto a child. I can and do give in other ways." It was how i felt about it...i was far too busy enjoying myself and taking care of me..and not being remotely maternal..so yes, i was being selfish | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." Morning! Not a paternal bone in my body, never has been. Made the decision long ago that I wasn’t going to have children and at 43, that’s not going to change. | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." Hi | |||
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"I don’t have kids. I’m still on the fence about it. I’m constantlyyyyy being hounded by people about it though. Did you know that we lose 90% of our eggs by the time we’re 30? I’ve actually had that said to me before. I don’t even know if it’s true, I was just so shocked someone thought it was ok to say to me " Does that mean my decrepitude means I'm off the hook? Please please please | |||
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"I don’t have kids. I’m still on the fence about it. I’m constantlyyyyy being hounded by people about it though. Did you know that we lose 90% of our eggs by the time we’re 30? I’ve actually had that said to me before. I don’t even know if it’s true, I was just so shocked someone thought it was ok to say to me " Good! Be gone! In all seriousness though, most people in this day and age have no problem getting pregnant in their 30s. I work with pregnant women and we're seeing more and more in their 40s. | |||
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"Bugger I have blue eyes! What’s recessive about them? " It's a technical term in genetics. You only get blue eyes if you get the blue-eye gene from both parents. If it was dominant, you'd only need to get it from one. I'm child-free for a number of reasons, some of which overlap with the reasons I'm staying single. I'd be a terrible parent. And I'm doing my non-existent children a favour by not passing on these genes. | |||
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"Bugger I have blue eyes! What’s recessive about them? It's a technical term in genetics. You only get blue eyes if you get the blue-eye gene from both parents. If it was dominant, you'd only need to get it from one. I'm child-free for a number of reasons, some of which overlap with the reasons I'm staying single. I'd be a terrible parent. And I'm doing my non-existent children a favour by not passing on these genes." Yes, sorry. I learned it at school when I was thirteen, assumed it was common knowledge. A consultant should definitely know, though. Neither of my parents have blue eyes, and I was teased about being adopted. Nope. Grandparent on each side with blue eyes. So my parents obviously have a blue gene each from their parents, but it was hidden by the dominant gene they got from their other parents. | |||
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"I have grown up friends and relatives that don't want children. No issue with that and I've never even asked why. On a side note, at 31 I went to my gp, asked to be sterilized and it was done within weeks, it wasn't for medical reasons, and no one quizzed me! The tiny scar is hidden inside my belly button and there's a small one lower down. No more birth control hell " God I'm jealous. | |||
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"I have grown up friends and relatives that don't want children. No issue with that and I've never even asked why. On a side note, at 31 I went to my gp, asked to be sterilized and it was done within weeks, it wasn't for medical reasons, and no one quizzed me! The tiny scar is hidden inside my belly button and there's a small one lower down. No more birth control hell God I'm jealous." Same! | |||
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"Don't mind me. Just making a list of the all women I want to impregnate " The last line in your profile is so true..... | |||
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"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin " Crotch goblin! I haven't heard that in ages. | |||
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"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin Crotch goblin! I haven't heard that in ages." It’s one of my favourites along with fuck trophy | |||
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"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down. As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. " God. Thank you. | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." Yes to this! I’m child free and intend to be forever and ever whoop! Although I do feel the pressure of this. People look at you differently when you say you aren’t having any by choice. Hit 35 last month and actually stopped consider whether my biological clock is ticking. It’s not. I think it’s broken | |||
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"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down. As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. God. Thank you." For what? It's true, chick. It's only other people's stupid judgment but I'm sick of hearing it. I'm sick of obnoxious, entitled parents, I was sick of them back when I was a new mum. Two of my closest female friends are childless by choice and their entire careers have been devoted to helping the most vulnerable people in our society. Both are a million miles from being selfish or unnatural. Another is childless by choice and has an amazing, glamorous, hedonistic life that she funds entirely alone and relishes like a boss. She's an inspiration to me. They're three of the most admirable, strong, beautiful people I know and none of them needs a trace of validation. Parenthood is one aspect of being an adult. There are a legion more. | |||
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"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin Crotch goblin! I haven't heard that in ages. It’s one of my favourites along with fuck trophy " Semen demon is another I've heard a few times. | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters." Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there " Haha. I try not to use derogatory terms about kids, at least not without provocation. Just want to live my life without hurting anyone and have my choices respected. | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there " Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up " Nah it doesn't offend me and if it did that would be my problem. I totally get it and I don't blame anyone for being pissed off by being put under pressure like that. You're not a breeding bull. | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up Nah it doesn't offend me and if it did that would be my problem. I totally get it and I don't blame anyone for being pissed off by being put under pressure like that. You're not a breeding bull. " Hell after my teen years I’d be lucky if they’re still swimming | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up " I had the conversation with my parents once. I probably would have got a better reception if I'd been pregnant in my teens. | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up I had the conversation with my parents once. I probably would have got a better reception if I'd been pregnant in my teens." I told my dad I’d a boy with an ex but we put it up for adoption, he was pissed! He was even more angry when I told him I was joking | |||
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"Mine never mentioned it and were clearly surprised when I told them I was pregnant. The relationship they've had with my son has made everyone involved so happy, they've been truly outstanding grandparents. But it's clear its not going to happen with my brother and they've never brought it up, let alone given him any crap for it. And that's being a good parent. You don't have kids so they'll do what you want. Doesn't work like that. " Apparently I hate them and everything they stand for. I thought they stood for more than the occupation of my womb, personally. | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." Yep. Over here. No kids as a result of a conscious decision early in our relationship. | |||
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"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters. Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?” “Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up " I've had that from my mum and late dad "you're the last male in the family carrying the name, you need to pass it on", still don't want kids though! | |||
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"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down. As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. " Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say Mrs TMN x | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. " This thread wasn't intended as a debate thread, or for people who are parents in any capacity. It's a place for people who are childfree by choice to find others that feel the same. You can always start your own thread to talk about your kids if you like. | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. " Who says they dont? | |||
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"Don't mind me. Just making a list of the all women I want to impregnate The last line in your profile is so true....." Well I'm sure with time and counselling you'll learn to just let it go over your head | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. " At least you haven't completely ignored the spirit of the thread you claim to have just read, and come in here specifically to talk about how amazing your children are and criticise people who choose not to have them. OH NO HANG ON | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. At least you haven't completely ignored the spirit of the thread you claim to have just read, and come in here specifically to talk about how amazing your children are and criticise people who choose not to have them. OH NO HANG ON" | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them " Me too | |||
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"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down. As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say Mrs TMN x" Shucks I'm just tired of hearing the rubbish I've been hearing for 18 years. And I've never felt judged by any childless person, I've never felt anything but support and respect from them. Which is why I don't like seeing them judged and invalidated by the smug reproduction brigade. I chose to focus my attention on my son rather than telling people what they should be doing with their lives, maybe I got it all wrong. Dunno though, my son is pretty damn awesome so that would be my advice. Focus on the child and keep your big fat nose out of other people's lives and your big fat mouth shut about other people's choices. Peace, lola out (mic) | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. At least you haven't completely ignored the spirit of the thread you claim to have just read, and come in here specifically to talk about how amazing your children are and criticise people who choose not to have them. OH NO HANG ON" Where did I criticise people who choose not to have children? | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. Who says they dont? " | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. Who says they dont? " Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. Who says they dont? Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great " And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids? | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. Who says they dont? Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids?" The thread wasn't for them either, but you're the person I'm addressing at the moment. | |||
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"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning. I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments. Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids. Who says they dont? Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids? The thread wasn't for them either, but you're the person I'm addressing at the moment." Oh I see | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record." Same here! Annoying being told all the time I may change my mind when I’m older, treating me like a kid | |||
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"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get “You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids” Cracks me up" I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway . | |||
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"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down. As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say Mrs TMN x Shucks I'm just tired of hearing the rubbish I've been hearing for 18 years. And I've never felt judged by any childless person, I've never felt anything but support and respect from them. Which is why I don't like seeing them judged and invalidated by the smug reproduction brigade. I chose to focus my attention on my son rather than telling people what they should be doing with their lives, maybe I got it all wrong. Dunno though, my son is pretty damn awesome so that would be my advice. Focus on the child and keep your big fat nose out of other people's lives and your big fat mouth shut about other people's choices. Peace, lola out (mic) " Round of applause! I'm personally very happy for my friends who have children that want them. My best friend has just found out she has to wait 3 months after her honeymoon to try for a baby due to the risk of Zika virus and she's gutted as she's been desperate to have kids for years and has been waiting on her partner who wanted to get married first. I'm gutted for her as I know how much she wants it and I've spent hours helping her research and finding numbers for places to go to for information to find if there is a way around it. I'll be over the moon for her when it happens as it's what she wants so badly. It just isn't what I want for myself but we don't all have to want the same things. | |||
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"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get “You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids” Cracks me up I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway ." There is no feeling or emotion that can be experienced by a parent that can't be experienced by someone childless. Fact. | |||
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"If it makes anyone feel any better, being over 40 with several kids and a whole history of lost pregnancies still got me refused sterilisation. I then had an ectopic and lost a tube. Its just down to funding and it sucks, childless or not. " I wish they'd say that then, rather than basically telling me I don't know my own mind and am too stupid to make medical decisions for myself. | |||
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"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get “You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids” Cracks me up I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway ." I’ve an ice hockey and beer dependancy keeps me up till 4am with work at 7am but I get by these parents don’t know anything I kid... well not kid ummm I joke | |||
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"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get “You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids” Cracks me up I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway ." Christ, don't get me started on invisible illnesses. Especially on top of the "you don't have kids so you wouldn't know" claptrap. I'm quite enough of a misanthrope as it is, I don't need these kinds of triggers, too! | |||
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"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get “You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids” Cracks me up I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway . Christ, don't get me started on invisible illnesses. Especially on top of the "you don't have kids so you wouldn't know" claptrap. I'm quite enough of a misanthrope as it is, I don't need these kinds of triggers, too! " Preach | |||
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"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches. Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji ) " But you're a woman. You have to care! | |||
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"Just thought I'd add my two pence here. Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable. I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems. As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really. And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in! .....And back to reality, rant over A " There's all kinds of research pointing to women generally getting worse medical care than men in any case, adding the extra layer of negligence for defying breeding expectations and it's absolutely grotesque. That was probably the most upsetting/rage-inducing thing I read on this thread tbh. | |||
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"Just thought I'd add my two pence here. Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable. I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems. As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really. And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in! .....And back to reality, rant over A There's all kinds of research pointing to women generally getting worse medical care than men in any case, adding the extra layer of negligence for defying breeding expectations and it's absolutely grotesque. That was probably the most upsetting/rage-inducing thing I read on this thread tbh." I keep it quiet that I don't want kids as my condition can affect your fertility and I worry that if they know I'm not bothered about fertility they'll be less bothered about managing it. | |||
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"Just thought I'd add my two pence here. Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable. I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems. As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really. And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in! .....And back to reality, rant over A There's all kinds of research pointing to women generally getting worse medical care than men in any case, adding the extra layer of negligence for defying breeding expectations and it's absolutely grotesque. That was probably the most upsetting/rage-inducing thing I read on this thread tbh. I keep it quiet that I don't want kids as my condition can affect your fertility and I worry that if they know I'm not bothered about fertility they'll be less bothered about managing it." It angers me no end that you're almost certainly right to be concerned. | |||
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"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches. Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji ) But you're a woman. You have to care!" Some of the women I work with are the most boring people I've ever met! And the irony is that they feel sorry for me because I dont have any children and I'm "missing out " It's just rude and narrow minded. | |||
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"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches. Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji ) But you're a woman. You have to care! Some of the women I work with are the most boring people I've ever met! And the irony is that they feel sorry for me because I dont have any children and I'm "missing out " It's just rude and narrow minded. " It is. I wouldn't choose to have kids, but I'm sure the vast majority who do get a lot out of it. I don't feel sorry for them. | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record. Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices. It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them! But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them " If you are childless by choice, then good for you! I've heard people state they are too selfish to have children. IMO the selfish people are those who have children. This includes me. I always wanted children, and in some way I tried to fix my awful childhood through them. That didn't work, in fact only being the child me's bestest friend forever, fixed it. Anyway, I needed to love and that to be reciprocated - that bit worked. When we desire children, we don't think of the world we're bringing them into, or the burden upon the world. Read Dan Brown's Inferno for the relevance | |||
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"Don't want them, never wanted them, probably couldn't have them even if I did desperately want them. I respect anyone's choice to have them or to not have them. Would be lovely if others respected my choice in the same way. If someone is really pushy and judgy I'll give them chapter and verse on my past and it never fails to embarrass them into shutting up. It would be nice to not have to disclose deeply personal details though!" Ooh yes. I have several utterly compelling reasons why it's not happening and if I have to I will make you regret insisting that I should have children. | |||
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"I had one guy (an very much older guy) tell me it was my right as a woman to have children and that I was wrong for not having any! You can probably image my response " TWAT (him, of course). | |||
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"Don't want them, never wanted them, probably couldn't have them even if I did desperately want them. I respect anyone's choice to have them or to not have them. Would be lovely if others respected my choice in the same way. If someone is really pushy and judgy I'll give them chapter and verse on my past and it never fails to embarrass them into shutting up. It would be nice to not have to disclose deeply personal details though!" I know the feeling, I might type up a short leaflet on why I don't want kids and just hand it out to judgey people. That way I don't have to waste time telling them. | |||
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"I had one guy (an very much older guy) tell me it was my right as a woman to have children and that I was wrong for not having any! You can probably image my response TWAT (him, of course). " I've been told several times that it's my duty. Kindly fuck off. | |||
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"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others. Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to." I knew I didn't want any children from a young age, think 18ish. By the time I got to 33 I had made my mind up that children just wasn't for me so had vasectomy. Much to my mother's annoyance. But whilst I get on with them, and enjoy the company etc nephew and niece when with them, just not for me. | |||
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"I always did want kids cos I wanted to be a better father than mine was. And I am. " One of the reasons I'm not having kids is because I fear my mother's parenting being repeated. | |||
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"Firmly in the never wanted kids camp. Luckily I've got to the age where people have stopped insisting that I'll change my mind... although I now get asked if I regret it or told that I'll be lonely when I'm old " Damn,it just never ends | |||
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"Everyone should be able to choose. I hate that it's assumed that everyone MUST have kids. Why??? Societal norms, load of bollocks. As for refusing sterilisation under 35, it's a money saving scheme." I've had 3 children... which I'm sure cost the NHS more than a sterilisation would? X | |||
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"Firmly in the never wanted kids camp. Luckily I've got to the age where people have stopped insisting that I'll change my mind... although I now get asked if I regret it or told that I'll be lonely when I'm old " I plan to be utterly disgraceful when I'm old. | |||
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"Morning I don't have any children through choice. And I'm now at an age where I probably can't. So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them That must be a great feeling! I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record. Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices. It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them! But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them " Think I'm the opposite of that I've got 4 kids and love them with my whole heart would die for them and all that crap but............... I would probably not have children if I had to make that choice again I understand why some animals eat their young | |||
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"May I just remind some women, that I overheard a conversation in Boots last year, that I just had to but into! A women was telling a friend that another friend fell pregnant naturally at age 52! And no she wasn't trying, she just thought she couldn't so I had to ask my GP as I was contemplating whether to bother to renew my implant or not, my GP said, wait until I hit the menopause then add a year! Scared the shit out of me lol " 52 | |||
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"May I just remind some women, that I overheard a conversation in Boots last year, that I just had to but into! A women was telling a friend that another friend fell pregnant naturally at age 52! And no she wasn't trying, she just thought she couldn't so I had to ask my GP as I was contemplating whether to bother to renew my implant or not, my GP said, wait until I hit the menopause then add a year! Scared the shit out of me lol 52 " yeap! That was why I had to butt in, as I thought I had misheard her! But nope, I heard right, she was 52 | |||
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"I completely understand the reasons for people to not want children, I did not like kids.... Devastated when I got pregnant, abortion not an option... Did consider options including selling it on the black market but access to the dark web was not readily available then. Then he was born and well! Wtf now?? I found a way... 25 years on, he's still alive. I love the bones of him and his brother. Not quite sure why there is so much negativity surrounding parents being proud? Don't like it then unfollow or unfriend, or walk away. You want people to understand your reasons and wishes, great. But you don't know what people have gone through to have their much loved little person " | |||
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