FabSwingers.com forum: Fab "oops" section

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Not so much Fab platinum as the opposite.

Let's not be mean, let's only gently take the piss out of ourselves.

Why might you find yourself in the Fab clearance section?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because at the ripe age of 22, nobody wants me anymore

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Because I'm going to turn half a century in just a few weeks,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Archie here looks like the missing link ,had a wonderful part in the film gorillas in the mist. Was the only one with out a gorrila costume

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I can't work out if I'm a girl or a boy

I lift weights and am super into makeup. Oh no!

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Because at the ripe age of 22, nobody wants me anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well past my best before date, but got a pending use by date

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because at the ripe age of 22, nobody wants me anymore

Only 500 messages a day? Oh no!

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I'm just cheap

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm just cheap

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Well past my best before date, but got a pending use by date

Yep I completely agree with this I am waypast my sell by date, 18 months off 60

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx

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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

I'm just to ugly no one wants me anymore

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By *on779Man
over a year ago

west mersea colchester

Cos at the age that I am, I’m still a virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well past my best before date, but got a pending use by date

Yep I completely agree with this I am waypast my sell by date, 18 months off 60"

They found me at the back of the shelf I’ve been sitting on for years

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Because you get short changed with me, better value higher up the shelf

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Because my packaging has got scuffed and crumpled at the corners, there's a bit of mystery leakage, and the sell by date is for last century. Not even a candidate for donating to the food bank...

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx "

Hell no !! Best decade just about to start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because at the ripe age of 22, nobody wants me anymore

Only 500 messages a day? Oh no!

So sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx "

Oh bugger off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm fussy and a bit stroppy when I'm tired.

Sugar x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right that’s enough self deprecation for me today. I’m off to be more positive

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx

Hell no !! Best decade just about to start

Naughty 40's, it's the decade I was born for.

Jo.Xx

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Soggy biscuit

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx

Oh bugger off

sorry Doc.

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Right that’s enough self deprecation for me today. I’m off to be more positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont come with an instruction manual and now no one knows how I work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m like a poorly made furby. Kind of cute at first, but doesn’t shut up and constantly needs attention afterwards.

I’d be one of those odd things you pick up in the middle aisle of Aldi

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I can be quite hard work.

I’m worth it mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not as bulky as the others so tend to easily fall to the bottom of the bargain basket

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I can be quite hard work.

I’m worth it mind. "

Me too

Met a friend yesterday who told me I'm a right pain in the arse

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m like a poorly made furby. Kind of cute at first, but doesn’t shut up and constantly needs attention afterwards.

I’d be one of those odd things you pick up in the middle aisle of Aldi "

Now there's an image

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm marked and damaged goods so definitely on the 80% off clearance shelf

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I scrub up REALLY well and I am very photogenic...

But if I were seen by fabbers doing the school run, I would probably be placed in the oops section.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Special offer coz nobody REALLY wants it: free to good home due to feelings of responsibility rather than lust.

Creaks a bit, farts a lot. Emotionally unstable when dealing with own issues. Asymmetrical flappage, and face, as if designed by picasso with Parkinsons.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’d like a mmf so you could say that I’m in the bargain section on the end of the aisle.

Buy one get one free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

No you’re not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx

Oh bugger off

sorry Doc.

Jo.Xx "

I would love to have another go at my 40’s. I seriously hope reincarnation is a thing where we can apply what we have learned in this life

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Special offer coz nobody REALLY wants it: free to good home due to feelings of responsibility rather than lust.

Creaks a bit, farts a lot. Emotionally unstable when dealing with own issues. Asymmetrical flappage, and face, as if designed by picasso with Parkinsons.

I do love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’m all wrinkled and past my sell by date x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I only message ladies on page one of Hot Photos. Means I'm both lazy and set my targets way too high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

No you’re not.

I am too..I'm so far on the wrong side of 50 that I'm almost on the right side of 60

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

According to some I'm on the wrong side of 25, so I should take what I'm given and be grateful

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I'm damaged goods

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

No you’re not.

I am too..I'm so far on the wrong side of 50 that I'm almost on the right side of 60

I still say in true pants style, oh no you’re not.

Good to see you back by the way.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm damaged goods

So am I. Better than pretty, undented, but without the strength from the journey. Come sit with me x

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'm damaged goods

So am I. Better than pretty, undented, but without the strength from the journey. Come sit with me x"

Very true....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’m a ginger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I’m a ginger

I love red heads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

No you’re not.

I am too..I'm so far on the wrong side of 50 that I'm almost on the right side of 60

I still say in true pants style, oh no you’re not.

Good to see you back by the way. "

I prefer my front

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Because I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50

No you’re not.

I am too..I'm so far on the wrong side of 50 that I'm almost on the right side of 60

I still say in true pants style, oh no you’re not.

Good to see you back by the way.

I prefer my front

Fair point, but you do also have a nice back side.

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By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Because I’m a ginger

Automatically tops my list! Redheads are my Kryptonite

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By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I can't grow a beard to save my life! So automatically look younger than I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shrank in the wash, not worth full price!

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Because I’m a ginger

I’d say being available in different flavours is a positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm out of date and full of fat

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I'm not as young as I used to be, so clearance bin it is I suppose

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I’m slightly shop soiled, and some parts may be missing.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Long term reasons - I have multiple long term health conditions

Short term - DOMS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fella says I photograph like Vogue magazine, but in real life it's like The Sun newspaper

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh and the bit people aren't allowed to manhandle and yet people do. The poor poor people having to put up with my howl of pain

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Oh and the bit people aren't allowed to manhandle and yet people do. The poor poor people having to put up with my howl of pain

It's been 4 years yet my partner still reaches over in bed to pull me in for a cuddle, grabs my hip and digs his jabby fingers right into my pelvis despite the fact I've told him that after years of ovarian cysts that hurts like a bitch!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Oh and the bit people aren't allowed to manhandle and yet people do. The poor poor people having to put up with my howl of pain

Mine has a marker (scar). No touchy!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Because I'm so bloody gorgeous that people of all ages, genders and sexual persuasion are intimidated and refuse to even stand next to me.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because I'm so bloody gorgeous that people of all ages, genders and sexual persuasion are intimidated and refuse to even stand next to me.

True

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By *ovestolickclitsMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

Because have added some timber around the midsection so not desirable...

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Lost a few marbles along the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm clumsy as fuck, untrusting and an attention whore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because people get scared off by the fact that we are middle aged bi goths..

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Because my penis doesn't talk.

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By *atcgMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Because at the ripe age of 22, nobody wants me anymore

"
now that can't be true

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Because people get scared off by the fact that we are middle aged bi goths.. "

Totally read that as middle aged bigots at first

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple
over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)

Because I'm a twat of course.

Bladey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because people get scared off by the fact that we are middle aged bi goths..

Totally read that as middle aged bigots at first

Definitely not bigots lol...

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh. Occasionally I get told that I'm too assertive and intelligent and it makes boners cry.

Personally I don't think this is my failing

but it might mean I have to go on sale.

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

Because I’m terrible company and my breath smells

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I'm damaged goods

*sings*

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones...

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Because I'm bi, balding and a bit of an arse at times

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

"I'm damaged goods

Behave yourself

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Doesn't put any effort into it. Fat lass, wrong side of 35, loud, deaf and likely to go arse over tit. Snap her up today before she wilts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because my penis doesn't talk."

Can I try and teach it to please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"Doesn't put any effort into it. Fat lass, wrong side of 35, loud, deaf and likely to go arse over tit. Snap her up today before she wilts."

Bloody hell, for some of us it was a different century when we were 35...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearance bargin special as I'm a single guy,wear glasses,over 40 and have low self esteem................but Iam honest

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"I'm going out of date, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

Jo.Xx "

Not making any friend's here.. I'm 53 in a few weeks!!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!! "

Snap on the glasses

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!! "

Snap!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like anal play and am a smoker so supposedly my breath is rotten and i must be a little bi. I beg to differ on both accounts

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Because my penis doesn't talk.

Can I try and teach it to please?"

It's very stubborn. But have at it.

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

Tendency to be very grumpy unless in excellent company. Gets tired quickly. Makes poor decisions, especially when d*unk. My friends describe me as a bit of a fucking liability when it comes to just about everything.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Feel OK about myself.. Then once in a while catch my reflection and think oh bloody hell!!

As is life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tendency to be very grumpy unless in excellent company. Gets tired quickly. Makes poor decisions, especially when d*unk. My friends describe me as a bit of a fucking liability when it comes to just about everything. "

You've just described hubby

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Feel OK about myself.. Then once in a while catch my reflection and think oh bloody hell!!

As is life. "

Faulty self perception. Return to manufacturer.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Have raging PMT likely to self combust at the slightest thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap on the glasses

You should try the hair too...so much fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap!!"

Its actually quite delicious really! Well I think so anyway.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap on the glasses

You should try the hair too...so much fun!

I'm a dark brunette. Upkeep would be a bitch

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Turning 50 this year ..def nearing my use by date if not already

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

You've just described hubby "

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap!!

Its actually quite delicious really! Well I think so anyway.

Definitely worth the teasing as a kid

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"Not so much Fab platinum as the opposite.

Let's not be mean, let's only gently take the piss out of ourselves.

Why might you find yourself in the Fab clearance section?"
Secondhand, seen better days and next year I'll be 60.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap!!

Its actually quite delicious really! Well I think so anyway.

Definitely worth the teasing as a kid "

Absolutely.... please don't tell me you had to suffer the NHS frames as well as the ginger hair too? Lol x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Because I'm ginger and wear glasses... oh the shame!!

Snap!!

Its actually quite delicious really! Well I think so anyway.

Definitely worth the teasing as a kid

Absolutely.... please don't tell me you had to suffer the NHS frames as well as the ginger hair too? Lol x"

Yes arghh!!! My childhood pictures are awful lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age...lots rule us out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Literally a Fossil!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I'm bi, balding and a bit of an arse at times"

I quite like a bit of an arse at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difficult to peel off once attached

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Just take a look at my pics and you'll get all the answer you need

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Difficult to peel off once attached

And that's a downside because?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the packaging is a bit bashed and I was last week's special buy

Like the pink crocs in the middle aisle

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Rotten luck, a couple of pesky kids picked me up on the way round the aisles and dropped me in the clearance bin !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rotten luck, a couple of pesky kids picked me up on the way round the aisles and dropped me in the clearance bin ! "

Bloody kids!!

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I'm a sarcastic sod who doesn't suffer fools.

I like being over 40 and I think some people think that's odd.

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By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

Because... There are hundreds of single males available. Aaand since the majority of the folks on the forums are a few thousands of miles/kilometers away

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