FabSwingers.com forum: Self care

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

How do you take care of yourself?

Self care is often discussed in terms of mental health, but you certainly don't need a diagnosis.

What helps you recharge your batteries, manage things well, stay happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that simply switching off my phone, avoiding all forms of news or social media, and just reading a book is fantastic for my mental health, really helps to balance me out again. Other times, I’ll take myself off for a day or two, somewhere quiet, and go fly fishing. Again, it’s about restoration of my equilibrium, and I find that concentrating on just one thing is the best way to do that.

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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I just get in my car and drive or go for a long walk, all the while listening to music.

Getting away from everything for a bit helps me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Driving.... love a roadtrip

Taking myself off into the mountains

Switching off from the world with bed and Netflix

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Meditation on the beach

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I try to daily.

Exercise helps.

You've just reminded me to do my physio excerises.

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By *enn68Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Off for walk this afternoon up stretton hills !!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I try to daily.

Exercise helps.

You've just reminded me to do my physio excerises.

I still cringe thinking about some of mine

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Long walks, reading a book, no social media are a few ways

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

The beach

The mountains

Writing

Bath

Music

No particular order, depends on which I need

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

I like mindfulness, I did one yesterday holding a shell in my hand. It was all about how it felt. Afterwards they suggested you could keep an object with you at all times, that you could touch when feeling anxious. I liked that concept.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The gym helps me a lot. It's empowering and a place to switch off. I channel my frustration and emotions into my workouts and in the long term I feel weight lifting in particular, my muscles being strong, helps me manage my anxiety better.

I write, often for here.

Music.

Enough sleep, adequate nutrition.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I sometimes play with makeup. Put it on, practice technique, wash it off. Some people talk about things like skincare or hair removal as self care but tbh to me that's chores.

I talk to people about hobbies, I read.

Sometimes self improvement although it's a double edged sword.

Mindfulness is a key part of my mental health management.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Owning a dog helps massively

Walks, cuddles, constant companionship.

He has really helped me on dark days, more than a person can sometimes

Jo x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

For me , theres nothing more relaxing than taking Doggo for a walk in the woods near me , or the park .

I never take my phone on our walks and just appreciate nature

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Owning a dog helps massively

Walks, cuddles, constant companionship.

He has really helped me on dark days, more than a person can sometimes

Jo x

Visiting dogs helps for those who can't own them. (Dog pictures and stories always appreciated)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Owning a dog helps massively

Walks, cuddles, constant companionship.

He has really helped me on dark days, more than a person can sometimes

Jo x

I agree 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't used Facebook for 6 years, no social media. Cycling and running, plenty fresh air, keep in touch with my actual friends not 'suggested' ones from an app.

Simple really...either ditch the social media or take it with a massive pinch of salt. Live life how you want to not how you're expected to based on your age/gender

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I go to dance class, it's a mix of both physical and mental stimulation with new routines to learn.

I walk up the hills near me which is when I need to get away from everything.

Planning trips to exhibitions that I want to go to, so I have things to look forward to also.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Owning a dog helps massively

Walks, cuddles, constant companionship.

He has really helped me on dark days, more than a person can sometimes

Jo x

Visiting dogs helps for those who can't own them. (Dog pictures and stories always appreciated)"

We got ours as I was just coming out of a really bad bout of depression, he dragged me through. He was a tiny pup, I've never been depressed since!

Ok change of mindset and meds too but he's had such an impact! X

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I always switch off an hour or so before bed - me time with no distractions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the dogs for a walk up the mountain soon,perfect day for it too. Hope you all enjoy this sun while it’s out

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Meditation, nature especially mountains, running, laughing with friends, playing my guitar and singing all take care of me! Oh and dance.

Music making with my friends..the electronic beats masters.

Thanks for asking OP, I know what I'm doing tonight now x

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By *ice But Very NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Running is a my (her) favourite exercise and is great for thinking out problems, issues, stresses. When I feel 'in need' of a run I often go to the countryside and have a good 10 - 13 mile run and always feel so much better after it.

I also love mountain walks, and have often got totes emosh during a walk when I actually look and take in the breathtaking views around me. It's such an overwhelming feeling and I hope that always stays with me. Walking with someone such as my boyfriend is great because we can talk through everything we are feeling whilst enjoying the activity.

I am also a big music fan and love to dance. I can quite happily put music on and dance alone at home. If during the evening this may be accompanied by a bottle of wine....

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I stay away from Faceb**k and I don't watch the news.

Taking my dogs to the dog park or just taking them out for a walk helps me focus. On bad days, they'll sit and listen to me vent, watch me cry and on many occasions, make me laugh. I suppose that's why they're my therapy dogs.

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By *illy999TV/TS
over a year ago

Taunton

Get on my bike for a couple of hours & ride the Somerset levels when it's not raining ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chat to friends. Have a pamper day. Spend time with the family. Walking the dog.

Or have a girly night - I had a girly night in last night and it was so good for me I laughed so much and I feel like me again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of things.

Always do something that makes you happy.

I personally enjoy in no particular order

Music, going for a drive, seeing friends, a good long walk and getting 10,000 steps on my fitbit, a soak in the bath, watching a film, playing a game and escaping reality for a bit, a project, painting or drawing, a mooch round the shopping centre.

Usually the things that give me a small acheivement work the best. Walking is one of my favourites. Summer I love being out. Winter I hate the cold but will layer up and still go walking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get on my bike for a couple of hours & ride the Somerset levels when it's not raining .."

That sounds awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as I love the company of people, I also need regular alone time. Time for me to unwind and regroup is essential for my continued happiness. Going out for a run, a drive or even just lazing in my room in front of the tv, the time alone gives me the time I need to switch off or to concentrate on me and me only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A walk, a long shower, and music. Those three things are my "go to" rescues when I'm feeling low.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As much as I love the company of people, I also need regular alone time. Time for me to unwind and regroup is essential for my continued happiness. Going out for a run, a drive or even just lazing in my room in front of the tv, the time alone gives me the time I need to switch off or to concentrate on me and me only

Yes. It's a balance for me. I love people but shit you guys exhaust me. And I need enough people, but also not to hit the point where I'm so exhausted I stare at the wall mindlessly for hours

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

I dance frantically to Jimmy Somerville pop music...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get lost in a book or a good tune. Moreso distract to recharge. Find it hard to be still and silent.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I like to go to the prom & watch the waves break against the walls when the tide is in. An hour quiet time alone does one the world of good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. It's a balance for me. I love people but shit you guys exhaust me. And I need enough people, but also not to hit the point where I'm so exhausted I stare at the wall mindlessly for hours"

Exactly. People are great but also they require attention and brain power to keep satisfied, be that nothing more than a conversation, you gotta think about them and it can indeed get exhausting. Especially if you are the dependable sort that people turn to for advice to get though their day to day shit. I prefer not to burden other people with my shit so I need that alone time to work through it and unburden myself.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I like to go to the prom & watch the waves break against the walls when the tide is in. An hour quiet time alone does one the world of good"

Oh I envy you having that close by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/20 12:13:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The gym

Spending time with my kids

And i volunteer to take kids/adults with autism out and about. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a total beach bum. For me, recharging is a sand between your toes and a swim in the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a good rant about everything that bugs me at whoever cares to listen, good sex session, slice of cake, a cup of tea and I'm good as new again

Mrs

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

We tend to go to the beach or wonder round the arcade. Two places we went on our first date.

Just some fun or relaxing us time brings us both back to our best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My go to switching off and self care tactics have been:

-Running

-Gym

-Soak in the bath

I had an accident on Monday, breaking ribs and puncturing my lung, so I'm reading all your suggestions with great interest as it doesn't look I'll be able to do any of the above 3 things for a while...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go for a splendid walk in the hills . It's perfect for just slowing the world down and taking a moment to just appricate how wonderful the world can be .

I also cycle , so out on my bike burning up any negative emotions, choosing some where lovely to ride too and just stop sit and let the world be as it is

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

Walking - got some beautiful nature walks on my doorstep, nature reserves, beaches. Got it all going on.

Music. I have lots of different playlists for my moods. If i need a cry then i put on my love songs. Need to feel fiery then i pop on my bad bitch playlist. Need to get my fanny moist, out comes the sex playlist.

Peace and quiet. I very rarely get any. If it’s not the dog, it’s the kids, if it’s not the kids it’s my mum. So to sit in a room with no tv or music or shouts of “muuuuuuuum” or “are tou popping the kettle on?” is bliss.

Hot bath, nice scented candle, gossipy magazine and soak.

This is how i survive.

But most importantly, if i feel like i need a good cry then i’ll bloody well have one (when kids are in bed).

I don’t watch the news. I get my news in short to the point bulletins from the radio.

I stay off Facebook and visit it once a month for a nose.

I avoid arseholes.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

If it’s something I need to have time for & think about then it’s a walk up the mountain with the dog with some headphones.

If there’s something that I can do nothing about but its still niggling I’ll go out on my motorbike for an hour or so as when I’m on that it’s 100% focus for me & I don’t think of anything else. When I come back the issue seems far less important & pretty soon it’s “Meh” Que Sera, Sera.

Shout up if you want a pooch pic, he’s a cute fcker but you wouldn’t want him on your lap

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"If it’s something I need to have time for & think about then it’s a walk up the mountain with the dog with some headphones.

Shout up if you want a pooch pic, he’s a cute fcker but you wouldn’t want him on your lap

Guessing he's a big dog then? What breed have you got? Very jealous of everyone with a dog on this thread

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I head into the countryside as it soothes my soul- I have a favourite tree in an area where people rarely go, and I'll sit under it either reading or just listening to the sounds of nature and letting my mind wander.

I think the important thing for me is to have a break from people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Running! My training plan has a mix of easy and hard days which helps when I'm either on a high or a low. I also like to travel, most times its about the journey and not so much the destination. Those 6 - 8 hours on a plane disconnected from the rest of the world make a whole lot of difference. Same with long drives.

Listening to audio books while doing all 3 of the previous activities also helps

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"If it’s something I need to have time for & think about then it’s a walk up the mountain with the dog with some headphones.

Shout up if you want a pooch pic, he’s a cute fcker but you wouldn’t want him on your lap

Guessing he's a big dog then? What breed have you got? Very jealous of everyone with a dog on this thread "

American Akita Long coat (bear headed some call them), currently on a diet as he hit 10st a few weeks ago, not one for public parks though, we got him from a rescue @4yrs old & he just doesn’t trust other dogs so something must have happened to him when younger.

It’s fine though as we’ve always lived rural so plenty of places to go & the Cambrians we are Lon are the most desolate of the Welsh ranges for people & animals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work out exercise, a good cardio session. Gets the endorphins flowing. which is a good chemical released by the brain. Talking is good to. To many men bottle it up.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"If it’s something I need to have time for & think about then it’s a walk up the mountain with the dog with some headphones.

Shout up if you want a pooch pic, he’s a cute fcker but you wouldn’t want him on your lap

Guessing he's a big dog then? What breed have you got? Very jealous of everyone with a dog on this thread

It’s fine though as we’ve always lived rural so plenty of places to go & the Cambrians we are Lon are the most desolate of the Welsh ranges for people & animals

Oh my gosh what a lovely looking breed. That is the advantage of living in Wales plenty of places to walk minus people.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Time by myself. Running is good for this, as I'm outside too

Mrs TMN x

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Thank you all for sharing, I'm going to get off my arse and go for a walk to try and shift this gloom I have woken up with. Some days are just more difficult than others.x

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thank you all for sharing, I'm going to get off my arse and go for a walk to try and shift this gloom I have woken up with. Some days are just more difficult than others.x"

I hear you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I exercise with banging music if I'm sad or need to think things through. I usually do the cross trainer for an hour

I do social partner dancing - modern jive/swing.. It completely and utterly fills my soul with joy

I spend time with my cats, snuggling and playing

In the autumn /spring i like to dig soil ... I have a weird fetish for freshly dug and raked soil

I've also learnt, fairly recently, to be kind to myself and forgive. Myself... I no longer ruminate if u can't fix it ... I also sing the 'let it go, let it go' bit of the song to wound up friends at work... It diffuses the situation, they can regroup their thoughts and think about how to tackle the issue / source of ther frustration differently

I also have a long daily commute so i have a lot of thinking time which is good for getting things in perspective

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Depending on what it is, a good long walk or focusing on drawing gets me sorted.

More than that, but been a long while, writing a letter that never gets delivered but gets it all out of my head and dealt with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The beach, see air! Clears the cobwebs.

Snuggles with my dog.

Sun bed.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Thank you all for sharing, I'm going to get off my arse and go for a walk to try and shift this gloom I have woken up with. Some days are just more difficult than others.x"

We are all different & seek different things to help deal with stuff. H requires company, talk, hugs & distractions. I on the other hand prefer to just escape on my own & can be pretty unapproachable in my solitude, but I like it there.

Enjoy your walk..

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Sometimes even the self care is a balancing act. The line between processing and ruminating, for example. Accountability or beating yourself up? Mindful awareness of your body or hypochondria?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes even the self care is a balancing act. The line between processing and ruminating, for example. Accountability or beating yourself up? Mindful awareness of your body or hypochondria?"

Processing is really good... But once it turns into rumination it is bad... Step 1) recognise you are doing it... Step 2) 'stop it'... Not so easy

Essential to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself ..too hard? Imagine you are talking to a friend.. What would you say? Now say it to yourself... I cried the first few times i did this... In fact, i still do..its very powerful

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Sometimes even the self care is a balancing act. The line between processing and ruminating, for example. Accountability or beating yourself up? Mindful awareness of your body or hypochondria?"

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Sometimes even the self care is a balancing act. The line between processing and ruminating, for example. Accountability or beating yourself up? Mindful awareness of your body or hypochondria?

Processing is really good... But once it turns into rumination it is bad... Step 1) recognise you are doing it... Step 2) 'stop it'... Not so easy

I'm a work in progress on this one. Big worrier, big fixer. It's anxiety inducing to let things go.

Self compassion has been a huge, huge struggle for me. I had to start with self not contempt and self indifference. It's still hard sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a work in progress on this one. Big worrier, big fixer. It's anxiety inducing to let things go.

Self compassion has been a huge, huge struggle for me. I had to start with self not contempt and self indifference. It's still hard sometimes."

You know we sound very similar. I am regularly reminded that i cannot fix the world ... I get around 4-5 hours (broken) sleep, but i used to get around 3 before i started to use some of the techniques i mentioned earlier

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm a work in progress on this one. Big worrier, big fixer. It's anxiety inducing to let things go.

Self compassion has been a huge, huge struggle for me. I had to start with self not contempt and self indifference. It's still hard sometimes.

Sister?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D tells me to ‘think in the now’ , like today I feel unwell but right now I have a warm house plenty to eat and drink and some lovely people to chat to on here so right now is good, later or tomorrow isn’t here yet so I’m not going to stress about what I have to do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a work in progress on this one. Big worrier, big fixer. It's anxiety inducing to let things go.

Self compassion has been a huge, huge struggle for me. I had to start with self not contempt and self indifference. It's still hard sometimes.

Sister?

We need a self love weekend xx

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By *etamourMan
over a year ago

York

Any time spent with my dog does me the world of good. She's my therapist and my very best friend. She knows more about me than any living person, love her to bits x

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"The gym helps me a lot. It's empowering and a place to switch off. I channel my frustration and emotions into my workouts and in the long term I feel weight lifting in particular, my muscles being strong, helps me manage my anxiety better.

I write, often for here.

Music.

Enough sleep, adequate nutrition."

Mine is similar to yours.

Gym

Good healthy home cooked food

Chatting with friends

Reading or leaning about new things

Being outdoors

Being mindful

Listening to my body.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

All the things that work - sleep, hiking, running, gym, baths, meditation, chilling, are all the things that stop when I’m stressed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lying in a dark room with white noise sounds on, so relaxing and definitely helps when feeling anxious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The beach. I was in a very very dark place last year mentally and I struggled to find things to help me with it. Talking was a struggle, doing things became a struggle etc.

Then I started walking the beach front on a nightly basis, regardless of weather. That became two to three times a day then moving forward as every time I walked I felt free. Possibly the easiest way to describe it.

Plus it’s great for your physical health too, which is always a bonus!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"The beach. I was in a very very dark place last year mentally and I struggled to find things to help me with it. Talking was a struggle, doing things became a struggle etc.

Plus it’s great for your physical health too, which is always a bonus!! "

I highly recommend a beach walk

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Lying in a dark room with white noise sounds on, so relaxing and definitely helps when feeling anxious"

Thanks, that’s good, actually helping with my headache. Reminds me of that midway point on a night flight when my QC35”S lose charge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to hit the gym... and of course quality time with my partner... just us time.

But walking is good too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The beach. I was in a very very dark place last year mentally and I struggled to find things to help me with it. Talking was a struggle, doing things became a struggle etc.

Plus it’s great for your physical health too, which is always a bonus!!

I highly recommend a beach walk

I love the beach too.. Grew up in a seaside town

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Running,

Earphones in and just run for a few hours

Just me in my own little world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The beach. I was in a very very dark place last year mentally and I struggled to find things to help me with it. Talking was a struggle, doing things became a struggle etc.

Plus it’s great for your physical health too, which is always a bonus!!

I highly recommend a beach walk

I love the beach too.. Grew up in a seaside town "

Takes me less than a minute to walk from front door to the beach. It’s a fantastic bonus to living where I do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sleep, meditation, a workout in the gym, time on my own, charting on here, a walk in the fresh air.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"How do you take care of yourself?

Self care is often discussed in terms of mental health, but you certainly don't need a diagnosis.

What helps you recharge your batteries, manage things well, stay happy?"

Simplicity.

One or two very simple objectives in life.

And the awareness to discard anything that detracts from those.

Especially negative or toxic influences.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Big thanks to the person who recommended white noise, I tried to pm to say thanks but you blocked me

I found 10hours on YouTube and played it through the night, it instantly cured my headache and I feel loads better today, quite lucid dreams too.

If you try it don’t accidentally download the track by disclosure , it’s good but it won’t cure a migraine

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I find that simply switching off my phone, avoiding all forms of news or social media, and just reading a book is fantastic for my mental health, really helps to balance me out again. Other times, I’ll take myself off for a day or two, somewhere quiet, and go fly fishing. Again, it’s about restoration of my equilibrium, and I find that concentrating on just one thing is the best way to do that."

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I go for a splendid walk in the hills . It's perfect for just slowing the world down and taking a moment to just appricate how wonderful the world can be .

I also cycle , so out on my bike burning up any negative emotions, choosing some where lovely to ride too and just stop sit and let the world be as it is

Walking is my peace too x

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