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"I know I won’t get the reasons on here and only the guy in question really knows but its done my head in regardless. Some possibilities as to why it happened might stop me thinking what I did wrong cos this ain’t good for the old self worth! Please don’t say it was his loss either, it was very much my loss. I get two child free nights a fortnight and one of those was wasted last night with me taking ages to get ready and waiting around only to take my makeup off and put pjs on around 10pm! Ok so this guy was a random Facebook add, I saw him and added him at New Years cos he was good looking. Was messaging on fb messenger just general chat and I said I’ll take him out for food, he said so what do you want to do, take me out for food so you can have sex with me? I said I didn’t know how to answer that and was just trying to get to know him. Now I appreciate its a bit of a weird one like messaging some random guy on Facebook, it’s normally guys that do the creeping, I get that. But back to the conversation he said well I’m game for that if you are and that’s when the conversation was quite smutty, I was sending pics he was stating his appreciation of them. He did try and steer the convo away now I’m looking back through the messages. He was saying stuff like he’d like to take me out for food first and that he’s a nice guy and never normally does this whole sending me pictures blah blah blah. Said I seem nice and hopefully we’ll have a laugh and he’s up for maybe something more but overly keen to meet. This was all last Saturday and Sunday. Speaking to him Monday and same thing again very keen. Asked when I was free. I said Friday to Sunday this coming weekend as I don’t have my daughter. He said ok Friday and that he didn’t think he could wait that long blah blah blah. Didn’t hear from him Tuesday or Wednesday so just thought it wasn’t happening and he’d been caught up in wank land and wasn’t horny anymore but when he messaged Thursday and said sorry not been in touch been busy in work but still okay for tomorrow. I was like yeah, plan was to go out for drinks and get a hotel room but he said Thursday night do I wanna just go to his tomorrow, said do I want to go out for food or drinks, again seemed overly keen to meet, can’t wait to see you tomorrow blah blah blah. Yesterday in the morning cos I’m very pessimistic and think the worst anyway I messaged him at half 10 and said what’s the plans for later what time shall I come up and where. He said I’ll let you know when I finish work babe ok?xx I said ok have a good day. Didn’t hear nothing then but assumed most people would be finished work by 6 so I’d got ready through the afternoon and was dressed and ready by half 6 cos he’s a 40 minute drive away. I messaged him and said I’m bathed and ready to leave whenever. Message wasn’t read. I start freaking out at that point but didn’t do anything. 19:38 he messaged saying just leaving work now ok hun x So then I thought ok so I’m not being blown out. I replied ok xx but the message wasn’t read. I potched about the house then to try take my mind off the fact I was waiting around. Took my arse to the McDonalds that was enroute to his just in case he messaged to say to leave. Nothing. Sat in the car lark eating my McChicken sandwich meal, nothing, by this point it’s half 9 in the night. I thought he’s had almost 2 hours to get home and showered. I messaged him saying I’ve just had a McDonald’s cos I was starving what’s happening then cos I’m in xxxxxx am I driving to you or should I go home? No answer, I was still in McDonald’s then and needing to know what direction to head, my place or his so I gave a quick call (he’d given me his number previously) rang to answer phone. I drove home, he read my last message at 9:40 didn’t respond. I said at 9:50 what should I do then cos I’m this close to putting my pyjamas on? Radio silence and message was ready at 00:35 this morning. Now I know he’s single cos we’re Facebook friends and there’s enough evidence on there to support that so him not being single isn’t a possibility. He had said when we were previously messaging that he’s not shagged anyone for a year as he just hasn’t been interested and was gagging for it. He had bigged up his skills a lot a lot, I dunno if that has anything to do with it. But like if he was gonna blow me out why confirm on the morning and let me know when he had finished work. What happened? " Only he can tell you that but there is only so many chances you can give a bloke. Keep smiling | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " Yep he should behave like a man and not a quaver in the rain | |||
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"Some just don’t know how to say they’re really not interested. So, as to not hurt feelings ( I know I know) they lie instead. " But if not interested why be so keen and sending me pics of themselves and saying they can’t wait to do xyz and to see me and even confirm on the actual day. Like when Friday came why not just ignore me from the start when I asked what was happening? | |||
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"Cold feet" Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. | |||
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"Maybe, just maybe you’re too dominant for him, and he got cold feet. He said he wasn’t that interested in sex then he’d bigger up his skills when you moved on him, just a hunch. " You beat me to it. Alot of men dont like a woman sounding so keen. Although he just sounds like a idiot and i dont think he intended on meeting at all as he was avoiding to tell you his address. Hate to say it as i know you dont want to hear it but looking from your pictures hes a fooking fool. | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. " | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " I think you hit it there - a lot of people on here are used to asking for sex very early on in communication and so it becomes the norm. But it isn’t normal outside of the swinging world. Maybe your ‘forwardness’ put him off. It’s a possibility. | |||
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"Maybe, just maybe you’re too dominant for him, and he got cold feet. He said he wasn’t that interested in sex then he’d bigger up his skills when you moved on him, just a hunch. You beat me to it. Alot of men dont like a woman sounding so keen. Although he just sounds like a idiot and i dont think he intended on meeting at all as he was avoiding to tell you his address. Hate to say it as i know you dont want to hear it but looking from your pictures hes a fooking fool. " Definitely agree he’s a fool, this lady is hot ! I don’t think guys mind girls who are keen , but guys definitely get nervous too. What if I can’t make her cum? What if I can’t go all night? What if I go soft? What if she constantly says harder!!! Never happens of course but the bitter and more dominant the woman, the more pressure to perform | |||
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"I’m always nervous before a first meet. A couple of times I even felt this is too good to be true, what if this is a honey trap.... I was really anxious and ready to cancel. And that’s belonging to Fab ie a site where it is pretty normal to meet casually and be sexually forward. If I had such a proposition from a Facebook stranger I’d be even more anxious. I bet he had cold feet!" | |||
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"Cold feet Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. " Exactly. He bigged himself up to much | |||
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"Maybe, just maybe you’re too dominant for him, and he got cold feet. He said he wasn’t that interested in sex then he’d bigger up his skills when you moved on him, just a hunch. You beat me to it. Alot of men dont like a woman sounding so keen. Although he just sounds like a idiot and i dont think he intended on meeting at all as he was avoiding to tell you his address. Hate to say it as i know you dont want to hear it but looking from your pictures hes a fooking fool. Definitely agree he’s a fool, this lady is hot ! I don’t think guys mind girls who are keen , but guys definitely get nervous too. What if I can’t make her cum? What if I can’t go all night? What if I go soft? What if she constantly says harder!!! Never happens of course but the bitter and more dominant the woman, the more pressure to perform " Very true. You've just described me! | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. " I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. | |||
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"The guys a total tool, after chatting I'd be happy to drive the 120+ miles " I’d not bother with the chatting. | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " I dont think you can define someone not using fab as normal. He may well be on fab. Someone who behaves in that manner irrespective of where you meet them is not on. Chalk it up to experience and move on held high that you're not shitty person | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. " Why do you wanna chat more to him when he stood you up? I’d be waiting a day or two to see if he had a valid reason (mum went into hospital, dog ate his phone or whatever) and if not, I’d just block him | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. " The best revenge would just be to ignore him. He will expect you to rant and rave, ignoring him is akin to taking the high road and he'll re-assess the situation. | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. " Move on and forget about it. | |||
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"Or he just might have got a better offer." Couldn't see him getting a better offer than that!! xx | |||
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"Or he just might have got a better offer. Couldn't see him getting a better offer than that!! xx" Me neither | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " I wrecked you’ve answered yr own question with yr reply above ... I’d say u scarred him off due to u been sexually open, even though he was sex txting back, but how sexually graphic were his txts etc ... only my opinion, just wish I could get interest from a lady like u and have some fun ... head up on onwards babe x | |||
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"Yeah suppose I do look pretty desperate. But like when I added him I did say sorry I look like a creep, I just saw you and thought you were fit so added you. Like he accepted the fb add and it went from there. Suppose I did look rather forward. " There is nothing wrong with making the first move. Just take things slower next time..maybe | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. " Would say you don't address any annoyance you have, that's just wasting energy on a negative emotion.. It happens and you've been on here long enough to know there are those who flake out when push comes to shove.. File it under hey ho and move on, you know who you are so that the circumstances were a bit strange shouldn't change anything.. Just fab life at the end of the day.. | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. " A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please " breathing | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please breathing " For once I’m being serious If a man had posted this I’m very sure he would’ve been laughed out of the forum | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please breathing For once I’m being serious If a man had posted this I’m very sure he would’ve been laughed out of the forum " Agree ! | |||
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"All these posts about moving to fast, moving too slow are missing the point. The OP and the guy had engaged in a personal conversations, made arrangements, and when it came to the crunch the guy ghosted her. There’s only one reason that happens, and it’s because the person concerned is just an inconsiderate dickhead. No finessing the methods of contact will ever change that. It may be your loss for that particular night OP, but you’ve also surely saved yourself inevitable future disappointment and hurt." Nailed it! | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. Why do you wanna chat more to him when he stood you up? I’d be waiting a day or two to see if he had a valid reason (mum went into hospital, dog ate his phone or whatever) and if not, I’d just block him" Exactly.... Message him again and he doesn't reply and how does that help the "dignity" thing? I've had a lady stand me up three times, I was a sucker because I gave her the benefit of doubt.... I came to my senses and stopped devaluing myself and now, I have a lot more fun and have befriended some awesome people who I've taken time to get to know slowly and hope to meet this year | |||
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"All these posts about moving to fast, moving too slow are missing the point. The OP and the guy had engaged in a personal conversations, made arrangements, and when it came to the crunch the guy ghosted her. There’s only one reason that happens, and it’s because the person concerned is just an inconsiderate dickhead. No finessing the methods of contact will ever change that. It may be your loss for that particular night OP, but you’ve also surely saved yourself inevitable future disappointment and hurt." Yes! Mrs TMN x | |||
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"I know I won’t get the reasons on here and only the guy in question really knows but its done my head in regardless. Some possibilities as to why it happened might stop me thinking what I did wrong cos this ain’t good for the old self worth! Please don’t say it was his loss either, it was very much my loss. I get two child free nights a fortnight and one of those was wasted last night with me taking ages to get ready and waiting around only to take my makeup off and put pjs on around 10pm! Ok so this guy was a random Facebook add, I saw him and added him at New Years cos he was good looking. Was messaging on fb messenger just general chat and I said I’ll take him out for food, he said so what do you want to do, take me out for food so you can have sex with me? I said I didn’t know how to answer that and was just trying to get to know him. Now I appreciate its a bit of a weird one like messaging some random guy on Facebook, it’s normally guys that do the creeping, I get that. But back to the conversation he said well I’m game for that if you are and that’s when the conversation was quite smutty, I was sending pics he was stating his appreciation of them. He did try and steer the convo away now I’m looking back through the messages. He was saying stuff like he’d like to take me out for food first and that he’s a nice guy and never normally does this whole sending me pictures blah blah blah. Said I seem nice and hopefully we’ll have a laugh and he’s up for maybe something more but overly keen to meet. This was all last Saturday and Sunday. Speaking to him Monday and same thing again very keen. Asked when I was free. I said Friday to Sunday this coming weekend as I don’t have my daughter. He said ok Friday and that he didn’t think he could wait that long blah blah blah. Didn’t hear from him Tuesday or Wednesday so just thought it wasn’t happening and he’d been caught up in wank land and wasn’t horny anymore but when he messaged Thursday and said sorry not been in touch been busy in work but still okay for tomorrow. I was like yeah, plan was to go out for drinks and get a hotel room but he said Thursday night do I wanna just go to his tomorrow, said do I want to go out for food or drinks, again seemed overly keen to meet, can’t wait to see you tomorrow blah blah blah. Yesterday in the morning cos I’m very pessimistic and think the worst anyway I messaged him at half 10 and said what’s the plans for later what time shall I come up and where. He said I’ll let you know when I finish work babe ok?xx I said ok have a good day. Didn’t hear nothing then but assumed most people would be finished work by 6 so I’d got ready through the afternoon and was dressed and ready by half 6 cos he’s a 40 minute drive away. I messaged him and said I’m bathed and ready to leave whenever. Message wasn’t read. I start freaking out at that point but didn’t do anything. 19:38 he messaged saying just leaving work now ok hun x So then I thought ok so I’m not being blown out. I replied ok xx but the message wasn’t read. I potched about the house then to try take my mind off the fact I was waiting around. Took my arse to the McDonalds that was enroute to his just in case he messaged to say to leave. Nothing. Sat in the car lark eating my McChicken sandwich meal, nothing, by this point it’s half 9 in the night. I thought he’s had almost 2 hours to get home and showered. I messaged him saying I’ve just had a McDonald’s cos I was starving what’s happening then cos I’m in xxxxxx am I driving to you or should I go home? No answer, I was still in McDonald’s then and needing to know what direction to head, my place or his so I gave a quick call (he’d given me his number previously) rang to answer phone. I drove home, he read my last message at 9:40 didn’t respond. I said at 9:50 what should I do then cos I’m this close to putting my pyjamas on? Radio silence and message was ready at 00:35 this morning. Now I know he’s single cos we’re Facebook friends and there’s enough evidence on there to support that so him not being single isn’t a possibility. He had said when we were previously messaging that he’s not shagged anyone for a year as he just hasn’t been interested and was gagging for it. He had bigged up his skills a lot a lot, I dunno if that has anything to do with it. But like if he was gonna blow me out why confirm on the morning and let me know when he had finished work. What happened? " He’s a cunt full stop. He’s got no integrity and karma will serve him well. See it as a blessing that you didn’t meet an A hole like that. Any good friendship lover or potential partner is built on good communication. Sounds like he just wasn’t that interested in you. You over pursued and came across a bit too needy, that possibly made him back off and treat you like that. The decent thing to do would of been to tell you from the offset that he isn’t interested. Happy hunting?? | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please " One that accepts that people have different wants and desires in the swinging world. One that shows respect in order to get respect back. One that appreciates that people's time is precious and doesn't dick people about. You could say that it's all good old fashioned common courtesy but sometimes people really do beggar belief. | |||
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"That being said if an average looking guy had posted this be would be told that he'd come on way too strong and pushy with the sex talk." i agree. If a male posted this can ypu imagine the abuse he’d get. | |||
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"That being said if an average looking guy had posted this be would be told that he'd come on way too strong and pushy with the sex talk. i agree. If a male posted this can ypu imagine the abuse he’d get. " He wouldn’t get abuse. He just wouldn’t get as many women saying ‘aww it’s her loss’ | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. " This. | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " Do nothing | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " Quite happy to recieve some sexual forwardness from you xx lol | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " No | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " Personally , do nothing. If you send it and get no response you’ll be checking for one all day. | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " what Do nothing | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " Which option feels the most peaceful to your state of mind? Do that. | |||
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"I appreciate that only he knows the answer but not thinking as someone on fab and just a normal person who perhaps isn’t used to the sexual forwardness of a woman. He’s almost 40 as well so shouldnt be this childish. " You say he is definitely single. People can have more than one fb account. Ever seen the program Catfish? | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? Which option feels the most peaceful to your state of mind? Do that. " , There is no option that will achieve that | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " So basically that is you wanting to give him a second chance. Have some dignity and self respect, forget, learn and move on. | |||
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"Ahh I already know the answer before even reading it. Why am I such a fucking dick like. Why haven’t I got that thing that everyone else has to be able to say hang on, no you’ve treated me like a dick so fuck off. I’ll give chance after chance when a normal person wouldn’t do that. Like I can be an absolute cunt and nasty, but why can’t I fuck people off that don’t treat me with respect. Like where do I get that ability from?" He didn't treat you like a dick. You did. | |||
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"Ahh I already know the answer before even reading it. Why am I such a fucking dick like. Why haven’t I got that thing that everyone else has to be able to say hang on, no you’ve treated me like a dick so fuck off. I’ll give chance after chance when a normal person wouldn’t do that. Like I can be an absolute cunt and nasty, but why can’t I fuck people off that don’t treat me with respect. Like where do I get that ability from?" Low self esteem is where you get that ability from! | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " Do nothing, move on find someone who sees you as high value. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right?" | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right?" Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right?" I would be pretty annoyed to be fair if someone was still saying at 19.40 they were still intending to meet. I personally wouldn't have ventured out to McDonald's in anticipation of being half way there when he was ready, but that is personal choice. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " I think if you make plans with someone and message them on the day, then ghost them, that's a dick move. Laying aside anything else about the situation. Mrs TMN x | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " Because he arranged to meet someone, then ghosted them. That’s what a dick does. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " Because it was all spelt out, the itinerary etc etc and he went a long with it until ghosting. Nothing to do with male/female, attractive/not....I get fucked off with ‘mates’ who plan things and don’t keep me informed when they don’t stick to what we’ve planned. That’s why. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. " My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty. | |||
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"I'm not as interested in HIS reactions or reasons as I am in YOURS. Seawitch ...... ffs read through your own thread.... I remember my dad telling me when I was small that if I wished hard enough then anything I wanted would appear in my hand. I did try but I was about seven. It's time for you to grow up and protect yourself from your own childish wishes and wants. It's not him who is childish. Learn to read the signs and know your worth a bit more. Seriously. You are well liked here and intelligent but totally fucking stupid as well. x" I was trying to read the signs. When Monday was the last time I heard from him I had resigned our conversations to wank chat and not messages. When he messaged Thursday to confirm for the next day and again on the morning we were supposed to meet what other signs should I have looked for. He said he’ll let me know when he finishes work and then he did message me to say he’d finished work. The vagueness of the messages then should have been more of a sign? I treated him like a guy off here, assumed all guys want sex so led with that to try and entice him to want to meet when he’d already said he would take me out even before I’d sent any pics. He is single it’s not a catfish thing, all his family post on his Facebook, I know a legit Facebook account compared to a fake one, it was made in 2007 like mine was has over 1000 friends all family members there 1000’s of pictures. It would take someone a hell of a long time to create a few 100 fake profiles to comment on his stuff or like his pictures and each of those people having 100’s of friends each. It’s a real person, I have 2 mutual friends in common with him whom I know are all real people. Plus all the many pics he sent me privately on WhatsApp, it’s a real person that isn’t what I’m questioning. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? I would be pretty annoyed to be fair if someone was still saying at 19.40 they were still intending to meet. I personally wouldn't have ventured out to McDonald's in anticipation of being half way there when he was ready, but that is personal choice. " I have done the same sort of thing...still thinking the best of people and how to get the best out of the evening. Practically, I totally get why she did this. After the fact, I see how I have low self worth and fall over myself to please others. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? I would be pretty annoyed to be fair if someone was still saying at 19.40 they were still intending to meet. I personally wouldn't have ventured out to McDonald's in anticipation of being half way there when he was ready, but that is personal choice. " Yeah, I'm often in trouble for pointing out that taking personal responsibility for guarding yourself against certain things might be a good thing. | |||
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"I wanna message, what’s this like as a message or should I just not do anything. Did you get cold feet? Maybe I was a bit too sexual. You got carried away when you had a hard on but the reality of it was different? Last night annoyed me because I only get two free nights a fortnight and don’t like when people mess with my time. So what happened? I know the focus was on sex but it was you as a person I was looking forward to seeing and getting to know. I didn’t really care if we had sex or not. I do understand the way everything went about was a bit fucking weird like, I just thought you were fit and worth getting to know. Yeah no or do nothing? " Do nothing, Have some self worth. If you message & he doesn’t answer you feel shittier, if he answers you then question whether he only answered because you messaged first. Walk away & leave it with him to fix. He will either try or he won’t. You don’t need to know why from a random stranger, so if he doesn’t message he doesn’t end of. You just need to take a breath say “Fuck you, I’m better than that!”.....and move on.. S | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? I would be pretty annoyed to be fair if someone was still saying at 19.40 they were still intending to meet. I personally wouldn't have ventured out to McDonald's in anticipation of being half way there when he was ready, but that is personal choice. Yeah, I'm often in trouble for pointing out that taking personal responsibility for guarding yourself against certain things might be a good thing." You ? In trouble ? | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty." Which is all irrelevant, because you specifically said people accused the guy of being a dick because she’s, in your words, ‘an extremely attractive woman’. Your insinuation was quite clear. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty." I agree. Totally. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty. I agree. Totally. " And you are also making a nasty insinuation. | |||
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"I’m confused now???? You said you’ve Whatsapp’d him but when you went to call him he’s give you an old number??????" Two phones possibly ? | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty. I agree. Totally. And you are also making a nasty insinuation." No i'm really not and if you'd like to tell me what nasty insinuation you think im making i'll point out the difference between our understandings of what has been said. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " They both are, just for different reasons. Sorry CF S | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. " I don't know the OP and have never had any dealings with her but during my time on Fab have read several threads from her along these lines. People can blame low self esteem, cuntish men and various other variables for this outcome. At the end of the day however, how many times do you need to get burnt before you realise sticking your hand in the fire is a bad idea? It's irrelevant why the guy stood the OP up as she has no control over other's behaviour. | |||
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"I'm not as interested in HIS reactions or reasons as I am in YOURS. Seawitch ...... ffs read through your own thread.... I remember my dad telling me when I was small that if I wished hard enough then anything I wanted would appear in my hand. I did try but I was about seven. It's time for you to grow up and protect yourself from your own childish wishes and wants. It's not him who is childish. Learn to read the signs and know your worth a bit more. Seriously. You are well liked here and intelligent but totally fucking stupid as well. x I was trying to read the signs. When Monday was the last time I heard from him I had resigned our conversations to wank chat and not messages. When he messaged Thursday to confirm for the next day and again on the morning we were supposed to meet what other signs should I have looked for. He said he’ll let me know when he finishes work and then he did message me to say he’d finished work. The vagueness of the messages then should have been more of a sign? I treated him like a guy off here, assumed all guys want sex so led with that to try and entice him to want to meet when he’d already said he would take me out even before I’d sent any pics. He is single it’s not a catfish thing, all his family post on his Facebook, I know a legit Facebook account compared to a fake one, it was made in 2007 like mine was has over 1000 friends all family members there 1000’s of pictures. It would take someone a hell of a long time to create a few 100 fake profiles to comment on his stuff or like his pictures and each of those people having 100’s of friends each. It’s a real person, I have 2 mutual friends in common with him whom I know are all real people. Plus all the many pics he sent me privately on WhatsApp, it’s a real person that isn’t what I’m questioning. " Yep, definitely the vagueness was a huge sign. You had no concrete arrangements. The only thing he told you was that he'd left work. I'd have got myself ready too cos I knew there was a loose arrangement but I wouldn't have budged until there was something more solid on the cards. Nothing wrong with you wanting some human company but you never handle a let down well. x | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. I don't know the OP and have never had any dealings with her but during my time on Fab have read several threads from her along these lines. People can blame low self esteem, cuntish men and various other variables for this outcome. At the end of the day however, how many times do you need to get burnt before you realise sticking your hand in the fire is a bad idea? It's irrelevant why the guy stood the OP up as she has no control over other's behaviour. " Correct. We can only control our own behaviour - wise words. | |||
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"I’m confused now???? You said you’ve Whatsapp’d him but when you went to call him he’s give you an old number?????? Two phones possibly ?" Then why not ring both phones? | |||
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"I’m confused now???? You said you’ve Whatsapp’d him but when you went to call him he’s give you an old number??????" No the number worked it just rang until the answerphone kicked in. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? , Because she's an extremely attractive woman so he must be, right? Take your tongue out of your cheek lady. She is indeed a very attractive and intelligent woman ...... but there are sooooooo many buts and they can't all be laid at his door. My tongue isn't in my cheek. She is beautiful and a lot of the answers on here disregard many factors in this situation that might help going forward precisely because of her beauty. I agree. Totally. And you are also making a nasty insinuation. No i'm really not and if you'd like to tell me what nasty insinuation you think im making i'll point out the difference between our understandings of what has been said. " You are smart enough not to need to pretend you need it pointed out, but if you wish to play that game you’re on your own, sorry. You both made yourselves very clearly understood. | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? Because he arranged to meet someone, then ghosted them. That’s what a dick does." Being devil's advocate - We don't know this guy yet he's hung out to dry. However we do know that the OP does not take rejection well. Maybe he picked up on this and didn't know how to let her down. She also has personal responsibility for getting a grip of the situation. In an ideal world people would say 'I've changed my mind' or 'not for me', instead of wasting time and people would respect this. | |||
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"Cold feet Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. " If he made claims that he would be amazing I would say that It's likely he's worried he might not live up to it. Especially if you say he's said he hasn't had sex for a long time. I was once talking to a guy from here for weeks who then cancelled on me literally hours before saying he didn't think he was what I wanted or needed. He had a bit of a freak out about my previous BDSM experience. He'd bigged himself us as able to be Dominant but at the last minute wobbled and said he'd "only really had rough sex before not the things I was into". I felt pretty bad and tried to reassure the guy that I did enjoy sex without BDSM too and we did start to rearrange and have briefly spoken a few times since but nothing has ever come of it. I think once the seed of doubt in their ability to please you sexually is planted there's no coming back from it unfortunately. Now I try to avoid too much chat about that side of things in the build up. As I like repeat meets I've found it's been better to introduce more adventurous ideas over time so neither party feels the pressure to be an all singing, all dancing kinky sex god(ess) from the get go. | |||
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"Cold feet Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. If he made claims that he would be amazing I would say that It's likely he's worried he might not live up to it. Especially if you say he's said he hasn't had sex for a long time. I was once talking to a guy from here for weeks who then cancelled on me literally hours before saying he didn't think he was what I wanted or needed. He had a bit of a freak out about my previous BDSM experience. He'd bigged himself us as able to be Dominant but at the last minute wobbled and said he'd "only really had rough sex before not the things I was into". I felt pretty bad and tried to reassure the guy that I did enjoy sex without BDSM too and we did start to rearrange and have briefly spoken a few times since but nothing has ever come of it. I think once the seed of doubt in their ability to please you sexually is planted there's no coming back from it unfortunately. Now I try to avoid too much chat about that side of things in the build up. As I like repeat meets I've found it's been better to introduce more adventurous ideas over time so neither party feels the pressure to be an all singing, all dancing kinky sex god(ess) from the get go." | |||
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"Cold feet Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. If he made claims that he would be amazing I would say that It's likely he's worried he might not live up to it. Especially if you say he's said he hasn't had sex for a long time. I was once talking to a guy from here for weeks who then cancelled on me literally hours before saying he didn't think he was what I wanted or needed. He had a bit of a freak out about my previous BDSM experience. He'd bigged himself us as able to be Dominant but at the last minute wobbled and said he'd "only really had rough sex before not the things I was into". I felt pretty bad and tried to reassure the guy that I did enjoy sex without BDSM too and we did start to rearrange and have briefly spoken a few times since but nothing has ever come of it. I think once the seed of doubt in their ability to please you sexually is planted there's no coming back from it unfortunately. Now I try to avoid too much chat about that side of things in the build up. As I like repeat meets I've found it's been better to introduce more adventurous ideas over time so neither party feels the pressure to be an all singing, all dancing kinky sex god(ess) from the get go." That’s the thing thigh I didn’t say any stuff I was into. I said I would probably be shit as I’m out of practice. Was him claiming he’d make me cum over and over and that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for and that he was quite naughty and I’ll be fucked like I’ve never been fucked before. Was him that was saying he can’t believe how horny he was when we were messaging and can’t believe he’s sending someone pictures of himself, how he couldn’t wait to have me blah blah blah. Like he was the one that seemed overly excited. I tried real hard not to be my normal self, like when I hadn’t heard off him Tuesday and Wednesday I didn’t even send any messages, I’d just put it down to him having the horn. So when he messaged to confirm on the Thursday I thought ok maybe he is serious about meeting. But I should have taken the vagueness of his message Friday morning as a sign he wasn’t going to turn up. Lesson learned! | |||
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"Yeah suppose I do look pretty desperate. But like when I added him I did say sorry I look like a creep, I just saw you and thought you were fit so added you. Like he accepted the fb add and it went from there. Suppose I did look rather forward. There is nothing wrong with making the first move. Just take things slower next time..maybe " Nope definitely nothing wrong with making the first move. I've approached a couple of my fab meets before and a fwb I had from outside here. But I think these things should always be two way, like a game of tennis. If I felt I was the one making the first move in all aspects I'm either pushing the pace of things to fast for the other party or they're not as interested as me. I've had a few guys I've approached first on here who have seemed keen and told me they'll get back to me about when they can meet and then I never hear from them again. It tells me all I need to know really. Those who aren't willing to match your effort aren't worth chasing after regardless of the reasoning behind it. | |||
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"Right so because I’m ‘attractive’ other people’s words not mine, I should’ve spotted the signs more. Were the signs cos I hadn’t heard from him the Tuesday and Wednesday even though on the Thursday he messaged first thing saying sorry been mega busy in work we still okay for tomorrow? Or on the actual day when I said what’s the plans and he said he’ll let me know when he finishes work. Should the vagueness around that have been a sign even though the previous day we’d said we’d go for drinks but would stay at his. Moving forward, I don’t do shit unless they say they’re on their way and then I’ll get ready quick and make them wait in the car outside for me?" No, because you're attractive a lot of people will not be trying to help you get past this by pointing out how you could have avoided if happening in the first place. What he did in standing you up was entirely his responsibility, you are not to blame for that. | |||
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"Honestly, and I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it will, but you probably scared him off. If you come across half as intense and full on when speaking to him as you have in either of the 2 threads you've started about him in the last week then personally I'd have been reaching for the block button. I take no offence and appreciate honesty. Umm just had a quick browse through how I conversed and all my messages were kind of short. When I look back over them there’s way more grey (him) than me (blue) an example him writing a big paragraph and at the end saying I’ll fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, my response was that’s a bold claim, and then I’m out of practice so I’ll probably be shit. I always under promise when messaging especially with a non fab guy. Ahh I did when pressed on how I wanted to be done I did say, quite brutally I want you to make me cry. But fuck like that’s pretty tame. But even after that it was still all oh let me take you out first. Ahh fuck it. Moving on do I address my annoyance, how can I claw back some dignity, damage control, anything. How do I acknowledge that the circumstances were a bit strange in how we got chatting but I am in fact a nice person. " Okay of you appreciate honesty every tinevtgere is a bloke on the horizon this happens. There is just so much drama. And there is no point laying that at his door because it was always going to happen whoever he was. The drama was guaranteed. You need to ignore the desperate 'pick me, pick me' posters on here and you probably need to accept that as a longstanding attractive female forumite you are cut a lot of slack, as said elsewhere a bloke this would get a very very different response. You need to figure out why you get so obsessed with people, why you overthink everything and why you really really cant cope with a hint of rejection let alone rejection of being stood up. It was a first date with someone you took a punt on on Facebook. Thats all. Yet uou are talking about a need to claw back dignity? You have no sense of perspective. And when you've figured that out maybe this endless cycle of pointless drama will end? | |||
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"Ahh I already know the answer before even reading it. Why am I such a fucking dick like. Why haven’t I got that thing that everyone else has to be able to say hang on, no you’ve treated me like a dick so fuck off. I’ll give chance after chance when a normal person wouldn’t do that. Like I can be an absolute cunt and nasty, but why can’t I fuck people off that don’t treat me with respect. Like where do I get that ability from?" You're probably just trying to see the best in people which is a nice trait but sometimes people aren't good. Just try to check yourself if you're looking for hidden meanings and motivations you're usually grasping at straws to give them the benefit of the doubt. Actions speak louder than words and even if someone does have their own struggles, they still know when they're treating others badly and he definitely did. | |||
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"Cold feet Yeah, but why, like scared kind of thing is it, not scared like but you know he had made claims that he would be amazing! When I was sending him pictures he was like your body is insane can’t wait to blah blah blah. Like he’s seen plenty of ‘normal’ pics of me on Facebook so knew what I looked like just not what I looked like under my clothes till I sent those kind of pics. If he made claims that he would be amazing I would say that It's likely he's worried he might not live up to it. Especially if you say he's said he hasn't had sex for a long time. I was once talking to a guy from here for weeks who then cancelled on me literally hours before saying he didn't think he was what I wanted or needed. He had a bit of a freak out about my previous BDSM experience. He'd bigged himself us as able to be Dominant but at the last minute wobbled and said he'd "only really had rough sex before not the things I was into". I felt pretty bad and tried to reassure the guy that I did enjoy sex without BDSM too and we did start to rearrange and have briefly spoken a few times since but nothing has ever come of it. I think once the seed of doubt in their ability to please you sexually is planted there's no coming back from it unfortunately. Now I try to avoid too much chat about that side of things in the build up. As I like repeat meets I've found it's been better to introduce more adventurous ideas over time so neither party feels the pressure to be an all singing, all dancing kinky sex god(ess) from the get go. That’s the thing thigh I didn’t say any stuff I was into. I said I would probably be shit as I’m out of practice. Was him claiming he’d make me cum over and over and that I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for and that he was quite naughty and I’ll be fucked like I’ve never been fucked before. Was him that was saying he can’t believe how horny he was when we were messaging and can’t believe he’s sending someone pictures of himself, how he couldn’t wait to have me blah blah blah. Like he was the one that seemed overly excited. I tried real hard not to be my normal self, like when I hadn’t heard off him Tuesday and Wednesday I didn’t even send any messages, I’d just put it down to him having the horn. So when he messaged to confirm on the Thursday I thought ok maybe he is serious about meeting. But I should have taken the vagueness of his message Friday morning as a sign he wasn’t going to turn up. Lesson learned! " Regardless of what you said he was all big talk and likely felt he'd created high expectations for himself. That's on him though. If he's got himself in a mental pickle that resulted in him leaving you hanging then that's his mess to sort out. At the end of the day he knows he left you waiting for him which is pretty shitty and personally my first thought wouldn't be messaging him again. You asked about retaining dignity earlier and I would retain mine by putting no further thought or effort into someone who doesn't respect my time. | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. " Why do you say that. | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that." Op bites back | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that." Because if a man came on here, said he added a random woman on facebook because he liked the look of her, engaged in a dialogue which he steered towards sexual, sent her pictures of his knob and then alluded to the fact that he just wanted to meet her for sex, which she went along with (for whatever reason), then complained he got stood-up when she didn't show up, even though she had gone along with all the sexy chat. People WOULD respond differently. No one likes being stood up and I feel for the OP, it hits hard sometimes, but considering the way that this engagement/interaction began it had a high chance of ending that way, regardless of the gender of the gender in either scenario, was he rude, yes he was, he could have been honest, but for whatever reason he didn't feel inclined to give a reason to someone that randomly added him on facebook and whether explicitly or implicitly offered him sex. If this was a bloke posting this, the responses like it or not would be very different, this is not a reflection on the OP, but just on the duplicity that is prevalent on the forums, just as in life. | |||
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"Right so because I’m ‘attractive’ other people’s words not mine, I should’ve spotted the signs more. Were the signs cos I hadn’t heard from him the Tuesday and Wednesday even though on the Thursday he messaged first thing saying sorry been mega busy in work we still okay for tomorrow? Or on the actual day when I said what’s the plans and he said he’ll let me know when he finishes work. Should the vagueness around that have been a sign even though the previous day we’d said we’d go for drinks but would stay at his. Moving forward, I don’t do shit unless they say they’re on their way and then I’ll get ready quick and make them wait in the car outside for me?" I hate it when I’ve invited someone over for a lush dinner prior to some filthy fun, that I’ve spent a hour or so preparing, (I’m a chef) making sure my home is mint clean with the wood fire roaring fresh clean sheets & get a message ‘sorry not coming now’ message, We all get it, it’s disappointing & kinda makes you feel like your not worth there time & effort, It’s hard not to take it personally especially as times limited to everyone Try to keep positive & learn the hard lesson & move forward in your own way. | |||
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" Okay of you appreciate honesty every tinevtgere is a bloke on the horizon this happens. There is just so much drama. And there is no point laying that at his door because it was always going to happen whoever he was. The drama was guaranteed. You need to ignore the desperate 'pick me, pick me' posters on here and you probably need to accept that as a longstanding attractive female forumite you are cut a lot of slack, as said elsewhere a bloke this would get a very very different response. You need to figure out why you get so obsessed with people, why you overthink everything and why you really really cant cope with a hint of rejection let alone rejection of being stood up. It was a first date with someone you took a punt on on Facebook. Thats all. Yet uou are talking about a need to claw back dignity? You have no sense of perspective. And when you've figured that out maybe this endless cycle of pointless drama will end?" Ahh fuck here we go. Okay so I think I have abandonment issues from childhood. My father has never been involved. Was an only child till I was 11 and then when my sister came along I was kind of cut out of the family. Like my mother my new sister and step dad did their thing, holidays abroad with his family, Xmas eves they would stay with his family. I was sent to stay with my Grand parents who adored me till they passed away I was loved but I think you need a mother or fathers love to make you turn out okay. So not being wanted by my father and then being pushed away by my mother I think that’s where my main issues are from with regards to not handling rejection well. There’s been quite a traumatic few years 2016-2019 which I was fighting a court battle alone to keep my child safe which I won without going into detail, but that took all my strength, like I feel I have nothing left in the tank now. | |||
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" Okay of you appreciate honesty every tinevtgere is a bloke on the horizon this happens. There is just so much drama. And there is no point laying that at his door because it was always going to happen whoever he was. The drama was guaranteed. You need to ignore the desperate 'pick me, pick me' posters on here and you probably need to accept that as a longstanding attractive female forumite you are cut a lot of slack, as said elsewhere a bloke this would get a very very different response. You need to figure out why you get so obsessed with people, why you overthink everything and why you really really cant cope with a hint of rejection let alone rejection of being stood up. It was a first date with someone you took a punt on on Facebook. Thats all. Yet uou are talking about a need to claw back dignity? You have no sense of perspective. And when you've figured that out maybe this endless cycle of pointless drama will end? Ahh fuck here we go. Okay so I think I have abandonment issues from childhood. My father has never been involved. Was an only child till I was 11 and then when my sister came along I was kind of cut out of the family. Like my mother my new sister and step dad did their thing, holidays abroad with his family, Xmas eves they would stay with his family. I was sent to stay with my Grand parents who adored me till they passed away I was loved but I think you need a mother or fathers love to make you turn out okay. So not being wanted by my father and then being pushed away by my mother I think that’s where my main issues are from with regards to not handling rejection well. There’s been quite a traumatic few years 2016-2019 which I was fighting a court battle alone to keep my child safe which I won without going into detail, but that took all my strength, like I feel I have nothing left in the tank now. " I'm really sorry to hear that OP. Do you think maybe you need some time away from meeting people to work on you as it's quite obvious that it isn't helping your feelings of self worth. While they shouldn't be wrapped up in whether random men off the internet want you or not, if it's having an effect on you it's not helpful to your current state of mind. | |||
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" Okay of you appreciate honesty every tinevtgere is a bloke on the horizon this happens. There is just so much drama. And there is no point laying that at his door because it was always going to happen whoever he was. The drama was guaranteed. You need to ignore the desperate 'pick me, pick me' posters on here and you probably need to accept that as a longstanding attractive female forumite you are cut a lot of slack, as said elsewhere a bloke this would get a very very different response. You need to figure out why you get so obsessed with people, why you overthink everything and why you really really cant cope with a hint of rejection let alone rejection of being stood up. It was a first date with someone you took a punt on on Facebook. Thats all. Yet uou are talking about a need to claw back dignity? You have no sense of perspective. And when you've figured that out maybe this endless cycle of pointless drama will end? Ahh fuck here we go. Okay so I think I have abandonment issues from childhood. My father has never been involved. Was an only child till I was 11 and then when my sister came along I was kind of cut out of the family. Like my mother my new sister and step dad did their thing, holidays abroad with his family, Xmas eves they would stay with his family. I was sent to stay with my Grand parents who adored me till they passed away I was loved but I think you need a mother or fathers love to make you turn out okay. So not being wanted by my father and then being pushed away by my mother I think that’s where my main issues are from with regards to not handling rejection well. There’s been quite a traumatic few years 2016-2019 which I was fighting a court battle alone to keep my child safe which I won without going into detail, but that took all my strength, like I feel I have nothing left in the tank now. I'm really sorry to hear that OP. Do you think maybe you need some time away from meeting people to work on you as it's quite obvious that it isn't helping your feelings of self worth. While they shouldn't be wrapped up in whether random men off the internet want you or not, if it's having an effect on you it's not helpful to your current state of mind." Damage is done like, I know where it comes from and I’m not reacting to the guys like I would in the past, I’m sticking all my shit in here like if I hadn’t posted this thread I probably would have sent him some right shitty messages by now. I went about things all wrong, like yeah if some guy had added me on Facebook and made it seem like he just wanted to fuck me I’d be like nah mate. I will keep myself to myself for a bit now but like I have this urge to be a cat as well, wanna be smoothed and looked after for a bit. | |||
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" I will keep myself to myself for a bit now but like I have this urge to be a cat as well, wanna be smoothed and looked after for a bit. " That's the spirit. Go and shit in his garden. | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that. Op bites back " I see | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that. Because if a man came on here, said he added a random woman on facebook because he liked the look of her, engaged in a dialogue which he steered towards sexual, sent her pictures of his knob and then alluded to the fact that he just wanted to meet her for sex, which she went along with (for whatever reason), then complained he got stood-up when she didn't show up, even though she had gone along with all the sexy chat. People WOULD respond differently. No one likes being stood up and I feel for the OP, it hits hard sometimes, but considering the way that this engagement/interaction began it had a high chance of ending that way, regardless of the gender of the gender in either scenario, was he rude, yes he was, he could have been honest, but for whatever reason he didn't feel inclined to give a reason to someone that randomly added him on facebook and whether explicitly or implicitly offered him sex. If this was a bloke posting this, the responses like it or not would be very different, this is not a reflection on the OP, but just on the duplicity that is prevalent on the forums, just as in life." | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that. Op bites back I see " Glad my pain amuses people. | |||
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"I don't know why obviously, but when he didn't give you a rough time when he was finishing work my spidey senses would of been twitching. " agreed ...you'd think over chatting a definite time would have been agreed.. "finish work at xx will meet you at .. | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that. Because if a man came on here, said he added a random woman on facebook because he liked the look of her, engaged in a dialogue which he steered towards sexual, sent her pictures of his knob and then alluded to the fact that he just wanted to meet her for sex, which she went along with (for whatever reason), then complained he got stood-up when she didn't show up, even though she had gone along with all the sexy chat. People WOULD respond differently. No one likes being stood up and I feel for the OP, it hits hard sometimes, but considering the way that this engagement/interaction began it had a high chance of ending that way, regardless of the gender of the gender in either scenario, was he rude, yes he was, he could have been honest, but for whatever reason he didn't feel inclined to give a reason to someone that randomly added him on facebook and whether explicitly or implicitly offered him sex. If this was a bloke posting this, the responses like it or not would be very different, this is not a reflection on the OP, but just on the duplicity that is prevalent on the forums, just as in life. " Agree with this | |||
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"The joys of social media land! No matter how forward you came across as, a real man would accept it and adapt. If he was nervous, he should have said. If he had no intention of meeting, he could have let you know. If his wife/girlfriend changed her plans and made a meet impossible, he should have been honest. I know what it's like to be left dangling. It's not nice when, like you, your time is valuable. A real man would accept it? And adapt it ? Define a real man please breathing For once I’m being serious If a man had posted this I’m very sure he would’ve been laughed out of the forum " and i agree with you on that | |||
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"How do people work out that he is the dick? " Thanks for this question! On the previous Post I had already indicated to the OP that he had lost his nerve. The guy has been single for years, his friends make fun of him about it, he isn't a player, he's awkward around women. A woman contacts him out of the blue, (fine!) She comes on to him (minor panic, but still fine), she then sends him an unsolicited picture of herself topless (panic), he thinks "I can still handle this, let me try to slow things down", then she suggests booking a hotel so that straight after dinner he can show her his skills in bed (Defcon level disaster!!! ). It was never going to happen, he's probably recounted an exaggerated version of the proceedings to his friends and they've warned him off you. Remember he's from the vanilla world | |||
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"If it wasn’t you that posted this op I think that a few comments would be very different. Why do you say that. Op bites back I see Glad my pain amuses people. " If it's that bad why post it on here. Your the one given yourself the pain and make it hard on yourself | |||
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"Did this guy come up on the 'people you might know' bit on Facebook? I'm asking because if he did those people are friends of friends on there aren't they? You could of done a bit of digging." Yeah I have two friends in common with him, one being my best mate who said she added him ages ago after seeing him in her gym, but he never messaged her after the add. The other and I only noticed this one since I unblocked him but the other person in common is the last guy I was with, now with that one I’m assuming it’s because this guy used to work at the same place as him but hasn’t been there for a year. I’m hoping that the connection is loose, like I haven’t seen last guy like or comment on anything this guy has posted recently and he likes everyone’s shit. I only noticed this last night and went to have a look if it looks like they have contact. I highly doubt that’s the reason as we’d been talking for two weeks. I think it’s the fact I came on too strong, probably looked like a slag who had my finger in loads of pies and was sending my arsehole out to any Tom dick or Harry. | |||
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"Did this guy come up on the 'people you might know' bit on Facebook? I'm asking because if he did those people are friends of friends on there aren't they? You could of done a bit of digging. Yeah I have two friends in common with him, one being my best mate who said she added him ages ago after seeing him in her gym, but he never messaged her after the add. The other and I only noticed this one since I unblocked him but the other person in common is the last guy I was with, now with that one I’m assuming it’s because this guy used to work at the same place as him but hasn’t been there for a year. I’m hoping that the connection is loose, like I haven’t seen last guy like or comment on anything this guy has posted recently and he likes everyone’s shit. I only noticed this last night and went to have a look if it looks like they have contact. I highly doubt that’s the reason as we’d been talking for two weeks. I think it’s the fact I came on too strong, probably looked like a slag who had my finger in loads of pies and was sending my arsehole out to any Tom dick or Harry. " Damn my parents for giving me the wrong name! S | |||
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