FabSwingers.com forum: Is it rude.....?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To send a friend invite to a person/people you have not even messaged?

Does it warrant a polite but assertive response, or would you simply delete and block?

Not sure if I’m wasting my time or if it’s worth the effort explaining why the invite is about to be rejected...... Clarity on FAB mature etiquette requested - ta muchly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just assume its from people unaware of the usual way of doing it here. Loads of other social media you just befriend people at will. I dont take a lot of notice.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

I just delete and ignore (I only block if I don’t actually like the look of the profile!)

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

To me it just seems pointless. And shows them our face pics. Whilst I'm all for using the flaws and features in the site to your advantage, I don't see how that's ever the right way to go about it. Why on earth wouldn't you send a message or a wink?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen someone put a disclaimer on their profile that if you send them a friend request without speaking first they will accept, perv all your pics then delete the freindship and block you during the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't accept unsolicited requests.. But we don't delete them or block. A quick message for then to read our profile. If you don't delete the friends request then they can't send another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have on the profile no friends TIL a social and if one comes through they have not read our profile so it just gets deleted.

Op you can’t please all of the people all of the time so just dance to the beat of your own drum not others.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's a bit tone deaf.

I ignore.

I occasionally get abusive messages for ignoring. Then I block.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

"To send a friend invite to a person/people you have not even messaged?

Does it warrant a polite but assertive response, or would you simply delete and block?

Not sure if I’m wasting my time or if it’s worth the effort explaining why the invite is about to be rejected...... Clarity on FAB mature etiquette requested - ta muchly

I judge depends on the profile really, some

people don’t share photos public and sending a friend invite is kind a way of ‘hey look at us and if interested get back to us’ but if they have enough info on their profile and still sending an invite without a message I simply delete it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a friend invite?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"What's a friend invite?

That number that goes up on the left side of the screen and you bulk delete periodically

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"To send a friend invite to a person/people you have not even messaged?

Does it warrant a polite but assertive response, or would you simply delete and block?

Not sure if I’m wasting my time or if it’s worth the effort explaining why the invite is about to be rejected...... Clarity on FAB mature etiquette requested - ta muchly

Clearly shows a lack of tact on part of the person sending the request.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Friend invites without any messaging chat first just get ignored or deleted. I assume they're just wanting to perv at friend only pics.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

It's a friend invite and friend implies you've spoken and get on.

I always ask if it's ok to send one and won't accept one unless we've chatted and I like you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's a chancers tactic to get private pics.

Wink them if you fancy them or block if you dislike their approach. Make them work for anything

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By *rmrs1234Couple
over a year ago

Waterford

unless ive spoken with them i dont bother with friend invites. I saw the number of them shoot up when i put a lot of our pics on friend only. they can feck off

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

We always just delete. We get at least one every day. It's not hard to send a message first and then ask. It does annoy us a bit

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By *iberty RedWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I did have friends only photos but put them in private to see if I'd still get unsolicited friend requests, doesn't seem to have made any difference to the amount.

I don't delete friend requests, that way they can't resend.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I just ignore and leave them there, then they can’t send another one

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I always ask first and only after we've chatted,

And I delete any unsolicited requests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just leave it there for a while as they can’t send another one while it is there and forget about it, until at some stage I delete all the old friend requests. I’ve never been requested twice.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Rudeness is very subjective.

Just because one person thinks something is rude, doesn't mean another does.

If you find it rude then don't accept it.

Whether you explain or not will depend on if the person is a total stranger or someone you have communicated with.

Maybe they use the 'friend' system as 'potential meet' or 'someone I liked chatting to' rather than the dictionary definition of the word.

Only you can decide.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

"What's a friend invite?

That number that goes up on the left side of the screen and you bulk delete periodically"

Noooo never go in there and never delete. If I delete they can resend.

When the conversation goes well I ask if I can send one

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"What's a friend invite?

That number that goes up on the left side of the screen and you bulk delete periodically

Noooo never go in there and never delete. If I delete they can resend.

When the conversation goes well I ask if I can send one

I click on it to make the number go away and delete every 3-6 months lol

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I usually delete,esp the ones with no friends pics

Sometimes I wait till they are offline,accept and look at their pics,before I delete.

Repeat offenders get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not rude, but with the majority here probably pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I block people that send friend invites without us talking first

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

We delete the invite.

It’s normally people trying to look at our friends only pics.

Our rationale is if they want to be proper friends, they’ll message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t delete the invite. I just ignore it.

If you delete it, the person can resend. If you ignore it, the system won’t allow them to send another.

I wouldn’t block the person, different people use the site in different ways

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I just ignore it. Find it kinda weird, whatever the site.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

It’s presumptious. Very.

Or they say hello and then straight away “I’ve sent a friend invite, hope that is ok”

No, it’s not ok.

I do a mass delete at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen someone put a disclaimer on their profile that if you send them a friend request without speaking first they will accept, perv all your pics then delete the freindship and block you during the night

Harsh - I like it - haha

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just delete no need to block until x3

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Friend invites without any messaging chat first just get ignored or deleted. I assume they're just wanting to perv at friend only pics.

That’s exactly what I assume by it

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I ignore them, mostly its just to check out your friends pics & have no intention of messaging let alone meeting

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a chancers tactic to get private pics.

Wink them if you fancy them or block if you dislike their approach. Make them work for anything "

Thanks - at least I know I approach isn’t too OTT

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don’t accept them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I did have friends only photos but put them in private to see if I'd still get unsolicited friend requests, doesn't seem to have made any difference to the amount.

I don't delete friend requests, that way they can't resend."

Good tip - thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not rude, but with the majority here probably pointless.

Exactly - wasted energy

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I don’t accept them. I don’t delete them either, that way it prevents them from sending another.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for input everybody.

Everybody will have different reasons for doing this from naivety, to greedy/curiosity to see a bit more of our yummy selves (haha), to laziness.

People can learn for themselves - just like we all have.

I sent a polite message and got an apology back.

They still didn’t title the message, Zebra, Dog, Elephant or Ant Eater so clearers never made an attempt to read our profile.

Have a great weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t delete the invite. I just ignore it.

If you delete it, the person can resend. If you ignore it, the system won’t allow them to send another.

I wouldn’t block the person, different people use the site in different ways "

It says on my profile that if we haven't had a conversation, recently, they will be blocked.. So just fishes out those that don't read profiles so they know what I am doing here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ignore them. If you delete then they can send another.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

To some it’s sacrilege

Some don’t mind

Others just ignore

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I just ignore them as well. I assume it's people wanting to look at private pictures?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I don't think it's rude. A bit pointless, but not rude.

Some will just accept any friend request sent to them, so it's no surprise people chance their luck.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I'd be very unlikely to be cutting someone who did that a lot of slack OP. Even if they just don't get the site etiquette they'd surely not do that if they had an ounce of thought , even if they were well meaning. It suggests they might not be the most considerate going forward - not that it's ever happened to me - highly unlikely being a single guy, so I'm only saying in theory. Just my opinion obviously.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'm old fashioned and like to message to ask if it's OK.

Difficulty is - not everyone reads their messages.

But I don't normally ask unless we've chatted anyway.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Leave them there, one thing from messages you get is a feel for the balance of the couple.

There are a lot where although it is a genuine couple the messaging is just the guy.

We had message ping pong with a long standing well verified couple a few nights ago, after three general messages we get hit with the friend request & “So can we meet?”

“So you’ve read our profile then?”

“Yes of course, can we meet?”

“Huh huh, Well your Mrs looks nice we can meet her?”

“We don’t play alone!”

“Funny, we don’t play with couples if you’d read the damn profile you’d know that, see ya”..

Madness that someone will chat on a few messages but refuses point blank or lies when you ask them to spend two frikkin minutes reading a profile?

How the fuck do these people get meets?

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"Leave them there, one thing from messages you get is a feel for the balance of the couple.

There are a lot where although it is a genuine couple the messaging is just the guy.

We had message ping pong with a long standing well verified couple a few nights ago, after three general messages we get hit with the friend request & “So can we meet?”

“So you’ve read our profile then?”

“Yes of course, can we meet?”

“Huh huh, Well your Mrs looks nice we can meet her?”

“We don’t play alone!”

“Funny, we don’t play with couples if you’d read the damn profile you’d know that, see ya”..

Madness that someone will chat on a few messages but refuses point blank or lies when you ask them to spend two frikkin minutes reading a profile?

How the fuck do these people get meets?

Brilliant lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

It's not rude. Opportunistic perhaps.

I rarely look at my friend invites to be honest so just leave any unwanted ones pending forever. Or until the system releases them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Leave them there, one thing from messages you get is a feel for the balance of the couple.

There are a lot where although it is a genuine couple the messaging is just the guy.

We had message ping pong with a long standing well verified couple a few nights ago, after three general messages we get hit with the friend request & “So can we meet?”

“So you’ve read our profile then?”

“Yes of course, can we meet?”

“Huh huh, Well your Mrs looks nice we can meet her?”

“We don’t play alone!”

“Funny, we don’t play with couples if you’d read the damn profile you’d know that, see ya”..

Madness that someone will chat on a few messages but refuses point blank or lies when you ask them to spend two frikkin minutes reading a profile?

How the fuck do these people get meets?

Brilliant lol"

Absobloodylutly - nothing between the ears

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd be very unlikely to be cutting someone who did that a lot of slack OP. Even if they just don't get the site etiquette they'd surely not do that if they had an ounce of thought , even if they were well meaning. It suggests they might not be the most considerate going forward - not that it's ever happened to me - highly unlikely being a single guy, so I'm only saying in theory. Just my opinion obviously. "

And I share you’re opinion completely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We dont accept friends requests till we have met we just ignore them

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