FabSwingers.com forum: Fwbs

By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

Do you have a fwb? Do you have any ground rules for that relationship? How do you set and manage expectations?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I did have. We had rules, boundaries....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't. It would be nice to have one, but I can't see it happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have 1 or 2! But both very different. One is more like a hook up when ever either of us are free and the other one is more like a best friend, we chat for hours, get d*unk together, help each other and advice and we have great sex. We have never had a “date” we don’t talk every day normally once a week/Fortnight to arrange meet up day. We Both had some time off after summer as I was catching feelings and he was giving me mixed signals. After a break we are back to it and we both know where we stand. We live are lives and then get together and have great sex, I wish it was more often but both busy people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No different to any other friend ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do.. we also have boundaries and even have a couples profile.

Communication is key to work !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have an FWB? Do you have any ground rules for that relationship? How do you set and manage expectations? "

Yes, and it's still being defined. So, I have out of courtesy taken a step back a little to manage expectations.

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I have 2 their know rules. Just have great sex and enjoy. They can do and see who they like.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is... "

Best to keep contact to basic and minimum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is...

Best to keep contact to basic and minimum. "

Then is that not an fb rather than an fwb?

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is...

Best to keep contact to basic and minimum. "

This is what I thought! Thanks, don’t feel that bad now, heh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do...rules are only with hubby's knowledge and permission...play once a month and socials any other time..always safe sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is...

Best to keep contact to basic and minimum.

Then is that not an fb rather than an fwb?"

Certainly sounds like it.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is...

Best to keep contact to basic and minimum.

Then is that not an fb rather than an fwb?

Certainly sounds like it. "

It’s a very grey area I have found.

You still share and talk about your lives- many details quite intimate. Have a chat, a laugh, etc- even trips together. It’s just the time you’re not together when there is minimum contact. It suits me too as life is busy enough as it is! But sometimes I’d like the odd chat, haha

Which is why I ask those who have FWBs what boundaries/rules they have as this is quite new to us!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I did have and I had one set rule, which he broke, so I walked away.

We communicated regularly when we were FWB but I know I didn’t fawn over him as much as he wanted because he told me so. He wanted constant adoration by text. But I don’t do that unless i’m in a proper relationship, in love and it’s reciprocated. They don’t get to have the best of me by being half arsed in their intentions and attention.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Whilst I was seeing my FwB yes we did have ground rules ( neither our mutual working relationship or private lives crossed into play dates) and discussed managing it ( we discussed our NSA boundaries) our expectations were similar

We also had ground rules and boundaries, including a safe word for club visits - which was to be expected, but differed from our 1:2:1 play dates.

Whilst we are no longer FwBs we are still the best of friends - all due to his change in circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope

I’d ask for honesty and trust if I did though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did have and I had one set rule, which he broke, so I walked away.

I think I like every single thing you write.

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By *ng1983Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon tyne

We do. Not many ground rules, just safe sex and honest communication. Obviously no weird stalking or trying to impose on each other's lives

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We do

We don't see anyone else, works both ways

Three way communication

I'm surprised how easy it is

Feels just right

Jo x

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I have a fwb that I have a borderline partner relationship with, we speak everyday about fab and family life and see each other twice a week, we are open and honest with each other and see our own respective fb's seperately whenever we want to.

Our only rules are about having mutual respect of each others feelings and open and honest communication.

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By *llenGTWoman
over a year ago

East/West Mids

It’s complex ... But then so is life

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I don't have one at the moment

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Would you mind sharing what boundaries/rules you have in place?

I have a FWB and it is amazing, but I find the lack of contact between meets frustrating... but maybe it is necessary to keep it as it is... "

Our rules (which she decided and I agreed to) was no contact unless it was meet related.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I don't have one at the moment

"
nor me. I don’t suppose somewhere’ is Hove?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have had the same Fwb on and off since we were both teenagers. We were together when we were younger then both went our own ways, he got married etc and it was a number of years before we met up again however now see him fairly often.

I think what has always been hard for us is as much as we try to have a “normal” life and relationships etc we are always drawn back to each other, he knows me inside out and vice versa, I can’t ever imagine not having him in my life.

We went to a club with each other last year for the first time and it absolutely devastated me seeing him with someone else, we had discussed it before hand and I honestly thought I’d be ok but I wasn’t and we talked about it after and I decided I needed time away from him.....he wasn’t “mine” to have those feelings of jealously about and I really struggled with it.

You may be thinking why aren’t you both together? He has baggage, he split from his wife, it’s a little messy and honestly, unintentionally, I think he’d end up hurting me.

So long story short, we are back in touch, we meet up for coffee, we meet up for amazing sex and that’s fine but I won’t ever arrange a meet to share him again as for me that’s just too much and there are feelings there on both sides.

Not sure I’ve helped with the question, I think communication about how you really feel is key.

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

I did. It was great while it lasted. 18 months of great times, we had a few blips but we're still friends. While we played together we had rules and boundaries.

But honesty is always key and communication. Without these no relationship of any kind will always falter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I did then I dont impose rules on my friends.....

If friends can't work things out together then there are few benefits to be shared.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did have and I had one set rule, which he broke, so I walked away.

Yes!! This!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't, I live in hope to find one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did have and I had one set rule, which he broke, so I walked away.

Well said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one for over 20 yrs..

Set rules from day one

Never broke each others trust or privacy.

He was out with his woman 1 night in same pub as me..

Both disappeared for 5 mins. No one knew anything..

Still in contact over 25 yrs plus

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I do. It works with lots of mutual respect like any friendship. Being free to express and listen with emotional intelligence and keep a light but intimate touch. The most beautiful of friendships if conducted with care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a long term fwb from 2018 into early 2019, we lasted 10 months, I thought we had a open honest relationship. We prioritised each other then other meets we would make each other aware of. He was cool with that until I started meeting and he didn't like the situation then. I also found out after he wasn't open and honest and hid a lot of meets from me. I then met beast but we classed each other as more bf/gf than fwb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did then I dont impose rules on my friends.....

If friends can't work things out together then there are few benefits to be shared."

This exactly ^^^ I think through fab it's more BWF (benefits with friends) than FWB. I've done nothing but very very longterm non-fab FWBs for the last 26 years and never once discussed a "rule" same as with my any of my friends! I'll never understand it but am happy with my friends and happy other people are with theirs!

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