FabSwingers.com forum: Read then unread

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

I do it quite often if I can't be arsed to start chatting right then but might be interested later on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your sent items, then you don’t have anything to worry about.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

I do it quite often if I can't be arsed to start chatting right then but might be interested later on. "

Yep! If I don't have time right now then leaving it unread reminds me later.

Mrs TMN x

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Sometimes a no thanks gets an abusive reply, so lots just won't bother to answer at all if they're not interested.

If they're marking it unread, they're maybe considering coming back to it later? Especially if it's a couple, so both get a chance to read it.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

If they are part of a couple, one may have read it and unread it so the other half will see it highlighted

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I do this to return to the message later, but everyone is different.

Don't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never knew so many guys reply to women being nasty if told no thanks.

It does annoy me when you read a profile send a polite message and hear nothing back and if I do get the no thank you message I normally reply back saying ok but the thank the for being good enough to have replied after all it's only good manners.

Lifes short no point getting nasty to anyone

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

probably not...people rarely fully read profiles and if we see people demanding we tell them we're not interested, we're even less likely to be interested or to tell them...

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

Not really, it's up to you if you want to put it but quite often a reply of no thanks will be returned with 'why'd or abuse. Just delete your message when you've sent it as a poster said above x

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

No. I'm not going to start replying just because it's in someone's profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious "

That's a shame, but from the senders perspective replying is opening them up to aggro.

It is in the site faq's. No reply means no interest. Is an inbox full of "no thanks" messages going to make you less self conscious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

I do it quite often if I can't be arsed to start chatting right then but might be interested later on. "

Same here. I'll mark it as unread after saving the message.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious "

That's their problem though, not the recipient. Sounds like you're feeling pretty bitter about your lack of success? You've started a fair few threads hinting at it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious "

Unfortunately that’s life - you won’t be everyone’s cuppa. Don’t validate yourself based on someone else’s opinion. I genuinely do not have the time to thank everyone I’m not interested in that messages me. It is appreciated but I think guys and girls have very different experiences on here. 300+ messages is standard in 24 hours for a single bi girl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also I do the unread thing if I am interested and need to respond!

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"Delete your sent items, then you don’t have anything to worry about."

I do this

Just consider it a nice surprise if you get a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious

That's a shame, but from the senders perspective replying is opening them up to aggro.

It is in the site faq's. No reply means no interest. Is an inbox full of "no thanks" messages going to make you less self conscious? "

This also is a very good point it's a very difficult situation to be in the site does day no reply no interest your right. Amd I have as you have said asked in a nice way I must add what is it about me that people sont like and the hairy body tends to be the factor in most rejection never bothers me though life is short and I try not to let things get me down. It's nice to hear both sides of the story though thank you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a difficult one really as everyone would like a reply either way.

If people weren't aggressive or childish when they get a no thanks then maybe more people would be willing.

However, site rules state that no reply is a no thanks, leave it at that and just accept it. You're only bothering yourself by letting it get to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us it's so that we can both read it. Unless there's a follow up message with abuse then unread and deleted x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious

That's a shame, but from the senders perspective replying is opening them up to aggro.

It is in the site faq's. No reply means no interest. Is an inbox full of "no thanks" messages going to make you less self conscious? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No, people don't have to reply. Just take no reply as no interest.

I see your point here but from the senders point of view it can be disheartening especially if the maybe are self conscious

That's their problem though, not the recipient. Sounds like you're feeling pretty bitter about your lack of success? You've started a fair few threads hinting at it..."

Not at all I have had a few meets and have actually made some good friends on this site over the last couple of months I just like to hear other peoples opinions and the forums tend to get the best response for that rather than private messages

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By *litoris_AllsortssWoman
over a year ago

There , or thereabouts in

However, site rules state that no reply is a no thanks, leave it at that and just accept it. You're only bothering yourself by letting it get to you"

This, This , This ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have some delicious conversations on here where I spend a good chunk of time writing a message. I'll mark a message unread to come back to it when I have enough time to write a decent response, rather than just dashing off a one-liner.

I've never marked a message unread because I'm not interested; that's what the delete button is for.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

Probably not, no...people have given their reasons above. Some literally have hundreds of messages a day

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I do it if I've caught the message but domt have time to properly reply.

Otherwise you read a message then get a tirade of abuse for not replying

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

It's just fab, that's just the way it is. Send your message the delete it. This way you dont need to worry about what they've done with it... fire and forget!

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I used to reply to all messages, often with a polite no thanks, but it was time consuming and a lot of guys saw the fact I had responded as interest & a way to prolong the conversation (even if I had said no thanks/not interested). Some would want me to explain why I wasn't interested, some would attempt to convince me, some would get abusive.

Now, sexually explicit messages or dick pics, get ignored & often blocked. Hi/how you doing? type messages generally get ignored (unless something on their profile catches my interest).

Where they have clearly put in the effort to read my profile & to write a decent introductory message I always reply, even if it's just to say that they aren't what I'm looking for.Those are the people who deserve a reply.

Out of every 100 messages there are maybe 5 that warrant a response.

I appreciate it must be disheartening for guys who feel they are constantly ignored, but it's not exactly a bundle of laughs from a single female point of view when you are treated like a piece of meat on a daily basis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people monitor their sent box ?

It’s not going to prove anything other than complaining about why other fabbers manage their accounts

(Based on the gazillion forum posts bitching about what people do with their messages)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they don’t think you’re attractive enough

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Also, I have on occasions (for a laugh) marked old read messages as unread, makes it look like I've got lots of messages and makes me feel really popular

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Also, I have on occasions (for a laugh) marked old read messages as unread, makes it look like I've got lots of messages and makes me feel really popular"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it when i dont have the time to type you cannot have my penis

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By *iss ScherzzoWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

For me that’s a good thing. I agree with most of the other posters. I do that if I’m interested but no chance to reply. If I’m not interested I just delete x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

I do it quite often if I can't be arsed to start chatting right then but might be interested later on. "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Delete your sent items, then you don’t have anything to worry about."

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

I do it quite often if I can't be arsed to start chatting right then but might be interested later on. "

Me too

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I do this to return to the message later, but everyone is different.

Don't worry about it"

I do it but don't really return to many. I just don't want to have a convo with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each person manages their inbox differently. Some may read your message, then mark it unread to maybe come back to it later when they have more time.

Who knows.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

As other guys have posted; just delete what you send, going back to see the status of it is just pointless. If they want to reply, they will, if not then it's a no thanks.

Personally (as I've said many times), sending cold messages to people is the hardest and most frustrating way to try and make contact/connections with people on here. There are so many variables that it's an exercise in futility and madness all boiled into one.

My experience on here improved massively the day that I stopped.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines..."

No. you had the choice to send a message, they have the choice what to do with it.

Your better off to worry far more about your side of things than to tell someone else what they should do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it worth having in my profile "if not interested then reply no thanks rather than marking message as unread"

Or along those lines...

No. you had the choice to send a message, they have the choice what to do with it.

??????

Your better off to worry far more about your side of things than to tell someone else what they should do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do that too.

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By *urtyGentMan
over a year ago

eastleigh

"Someone answer me this...

Why do people read your message, look at your profile then mark your message as unread and ignore you?

I would much rather someone telling me not interested or no thanks, or is it just me?

Engaging in dialogue, with that being the preface of it is a massive waste of everyone’s time. Accept it and move along, rejection is part and parcel of the game mate

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