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"I’m not fond of the label ‘stupid fucking cunt’ "I'm thinking more about the labels we give ourselves... | |||
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"I’m not fond of the label ‘stupid fucking cunt’
I'm thinking more about the labels we give ourselves... ".....so was I | |||
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"I’m not fond of the label ‘stupid fucking cunt’
I'm thinking more about the labels we give ourselves... .....so was I "*takes away Steve's label gun* | |||
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"I don't think I really label myself. Maybe I did in the other thread by saying I was a people person. Actually I probably did there... How could it be removed? I dunno. Stream of consciousness and not quite a useful input ftw." It's not just that, it's things like; father, mother, professional, breadwinner, etc. The things that we use to define ourselves to ourselves and to others. People person fits in that I guess. | |||
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"I don't think I really label myself. Maybe I did in the other thread by saying I was a people person. Actually I probably did there... How could it be removed? I dunno. Stream of consciousness and not quite a useful input ftw. It's not just that, it's things like; father, mother, professional, breadwinner, etc. The things that we use to define ourselves to ourselves and to others. People person fits in that I guess. " I don't really define myself as those things though. Maybe I'm odd by not doing so. I do say I'm Aspie but that's part of who I am. Not the whole thing but part of it. | |||
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"I don't think I really label myself. Maybe I did in the other thread by saying I was a people person. Actually I probably did there... How could it be removed? I dunno. Stream of consciousness and not quite a useful input ftw. It's not just that, it's things like; father, mother, professional, breadwinner, etc. The things that we use to define ourselves to ourselves and to others. People person fits in that I guess. I don't really define myself as those things though. Maybe I'm odd by not doing so. I do say I'm Aspie but that's part of who I am. Not the whole thing but part of it." I don't think it's odd, I think it's very healthy. It was kind of my point, that I think it should be guarded against. I know it's something that I used to do and when I lost some of those labels, I really struggled. | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx" This  | |||
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"I see labels as descriptive, not prescriptive. They help me understand the context in which I find myself, and give a (flawed) shorthand for others. But it's not, I'm X, and therefore I'm only (list of characteristics of X). It's more like, X is the closest known label to describe me. I differ in the following ways (if it's important for me or others), but I can find a lot of commonality with X and it's a good way to shorten any discussion I need to have. I take or leave these labels as they're useful to me." Fully agree with this. | |||
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"I see labels as descriptive, not prescriptive. They help me understand the context in which I find myself, and give a (flawed) shorthand for others. But it's not, I'm X, and therefore I'm only (list of characteristics of X). It's more like, X is the closest known label to describe me. I differ in the following ways (if it's important for me or others), but I can find a lot of commonality with X and it's a good way to shorten any discussion I need to have. I take or leave these labels as they're useful to me." I see what you mean, they result in finding a commonality with others and help to build bonds socially. I think that the issues can arise when situations or we change, the labels don't fit and our definition of ourselves can be in flux. | |||
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"You mean like couple when not a couple?" To a certain degree. Being a partner/husband is certainly one | |||
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"Think we all label ourselves to a point. Some will label themselves pretty, nerdy, goth, intelligent or funny the list is endless. And it's when people question those labels I think they tend to upset us the most. We all in our own way seek to find like-minded people or people who value our traits. It's more important for us not to presume those who don't like or agree with our labels are correct " I agree. I think there's a difference between the things that we are and the things that we do. It's definitely when we question those labels that there can be self worth or self esteem issues. | |||
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"I see labels as descriptive, not prescriptive. They help me understand the context in which I find myself, and give a (flawed) shorthand for others. But it's not, I'm X, and therefore I'm only (list of characteristics of X). It's more like, X is the closest known label to describe me. I differ in the following ways (if it's important for me or others), but I can find a lot of commonality with X and it's a good way to shorten any discussion I need to have. I take or leave these labels as they're useful to me. I see what you mean, they result in finding a commonality with others and help to build bonds socially. I think that the issues can arise when situations or we change, the labels don't fit and our definition of ourselves can be in flux. " Definitely. Finding your identity, forging it, redeveloping it, etc... it's hard work. | |||
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"Not sure I label myself as anything, I am just me Not sure what others would label me as either, and in truth I do not care... They would have to mean something to me for their opinion to be validated What about placing judgements on people? Is that the same as labelling someone?" I think that judging and labelling others is associated but a different thing. That's about reflecting our values and morals onto others. I'm talking specifically about our own definitions | |||
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"Labels? I’m me. I’m also a mum, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, colleague, friend and pain in the arse
"It's those kind of labels that I'm talking about. Do you feel that they define you, are part of who you are and lend value to you? | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx" I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort.  | |||
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"Oh the second I'm chartered I am going to proudly label myself professional aaaaaall over my profile and WhatsApp and Twitter. It's going to be gloriously unbearable. "Noted  | |||
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"My labels define who I want to be at this point in time, they are ever changing on my life journey to suit how I am feeling or what I want from each different situation. " So you chose your labels to suit? | |||
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"I label my self as gorgeous and hilarious. I know people on here label me as stunning though which sometimes is a bit underwhelming to say the least "Dont forget modest too... | |||
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"I see labels as descriptive, not prescriptive. They help me understand the context in which I find myself, and give a (flawed) shorthand for others. But it's not, I'm X, and therefore I'm only (list of characteristics of X). It's more like, X is the closest known label to describe me. I differ in the following ways (if it's important for me or others), but I can find a lot of commonality with X and it's a good way to shorten any discussion I need to have. I take or leave these labels as they're useful to me. I see what you mean, they result in finding a commonality with others and help to build bonds socially. I think that the issues can arise when situations or we change, the labels don't fit and our definition of ourselves can be in flux. Definitely. Finding your identity, forging it, redeveloping it, etc... it's hard work." It is. | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort. "You are biased | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort.
You are biased "I reject that label, I say that I'm a person of discerning taste | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort.
You are biased
I reject that label, I say that I'm a person of discerning taste "If I were to label you itd be 'partially sighted ' | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort.
You are biased
I reject that label, I say that I'm a person of discerning taste "You two are too cute | |||
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"Think we all label ourselves to a point. Some will label themselves pretty, nerdy, goth, intelligent or funny the list is endless. And it's when people question those labels I think they tend to upset us the most. We all in our own way seek to find like-minded people or people who value our traits. It's more important for us not to presume those who don't like or agree with our labels are correct I agree. I think there's a difference between the things that we are and the things that we do. It's definitely when we question those labels that there can be self worth or self esteem issues. " Questioning the ones attributed to you is healthy though. For example in school I was labelled as thick as I dyslexic (undiagnosed until I was an adult) and I wouldn't pass my GCSEs, could have listened decided not to have a PhD. We are a massive mix of labels which makes us all individuals | |||
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"It's the Adonis label I'm constantly trying to shake off..."  | |||
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"I've spent a long time trying hard to not be the stereotypes of the categories I fell into. (daughter of alcoholics, teenage mum,school drop out, single mum, divorced woman, the other woman) As such I've constantly battled my own judgments of myself too and in turn probably made some harsh ones of others. I do know though that being a mother/wife for me wasn't enough on its own. Probably one of the big reasons I left my husband. My career or trying to establish one has always been a vital part of my identity, oddly though my job titles have never been a thing I think about. Ultimately I am me, a whole mix of things because I refuse to be identified as just one or some of them. Not sure if that makes any sense.. " Makes perfect sense to me. Breaking beyond the confines of the roles we find ourselves in. We're all more than that. | |||
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"I don’t label myself, I’m just me The labels I hear from others I just see as normal human traits... single mum, hard working, brave, strong, stubborn, independent, caring etc. It’s just what they see and what you as a person choose to show others " Personally, I think that's a very healthy way to be. I think it's when we use labels as defining characteristics that we can give ourselves problems. | |||
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"It's the Adonis label I'm constantly trying to shake off..." I can see how that would be a problem for you | |||
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"I've probably lots of labels but they only give you an idea of who I am. If you want to actually know me then that takes time and effort, not a label xx I agree, I think that labels give others a 'rough guide' but don't provide the actual story. Not being defined by them is the key. Just as with anyone, finding the real person is important but you're definitely worth any effort.
You are biased
I reject that label, I say that I'm a person of discerning taste
If I were to label you itd be 'partially sighted ' "I might be short sighted but I've seen you up close | |||
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"Think we all label ourselves to a point. Some will label themselves pretty, nerdy, goth, intelligent or funny the list is endless. And it's when people question those labels I think they tend to upset us the most. We all in our own way seek to find like-minded people or people who value our traits. It's more important for us not to presume those who don't like or agree with our labels are correct I agree. I think there's a difference between the things that we are and the things that we do. It's definitely when we question those labels that there can be self worth or self esteem issues. Questioning the ones attributed to you is healthy though. For example in school I was labelled as thick as I dyslexic (undiagnosed until I was an adult) and I wouldn't pass my GCSEs, could have listened decided not to have a PhD. We are a massive mix of labels which makes us all individuals" That's very true. That's very much the heart of the matter. It's very easy to say 'labels are for tins' and there's a certain truth to it but we do all do it to ourselves and others. It's how or whether we're defined by them. | |||
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"Labels help us find where we fit in society though, the people we identify with and the groups we belong to. The labels I place on myself help me to live my life the way I should, I prioritise the ones that are important and acknowledge those that aren't. " Very true, much as Swing said. They do help to identify others but it's a balance. | |||
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"I've spent a long time trying hard to not be the stereotypes of the categories I fell into. (daughter of alcoholics, teenage mum,school drop out, single mum, divorced woman, the other woman) As such I've constantly battled my own judgments of myself too and in turn probably made some harsh ones of others. I do know though that being a mother/wife for me wasn't enough on its own. Probably one of the big reasons I left my husband. My career or trying to establish one has always been a vital part of my identity, oddly though my job titles have never been a thing I think about. Ultimately I am me, a whole mix of things because I refuse to be identified as just one or some of them. Not sure if that makes any sense.. " That makes perfect sense to me, I had similar struggles in the past, especially if one of the labels I gave myself wasn't sufficient or peeled off. I found it very hard to recognise that I was more than the sum of those labels and actually know *who* I am beneath that. | |||
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"I don't think so much of labels .. but more aspects of myself that come to play, work and support who I am and my roles I have in my life. My roles definitely give shape to who I am. Create a kind of map of me. I can see how we can lose our sense of identity if a major role shifts. I'm in a transitional place in life, there is lots in flux .. I feel quite surrendered and also sometimes a little jarred and wide eyed!! Lots of readjusting which sometimes feels easy and sometimes not so. X " I know exactly what you mean. It can be and is, trying when rigid concepts require flexibility. | |||
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"The only label should be on goods you buy, not on a person What I am as a person shouldn’t labelled- I’m uniquely me" Absolutely this! ^^ | |||
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"I've spent a long time trying hard to not be the stereotypes of the categories I fell into. (daughter of alcoholics, teenage mum,school drop out, single mum, divorced woman, the other woman) As such I've constantly battled my own judgments of myself too and in turn probably made some harsh ones of others. I do know though that being a mother/wife for me wasn't enough on its own. Probably one of the big reasons I left my husband. My career or trying to establish one has always been a vital part of my identity, oddly though my job titles have never been a thing I think about. Ultimately I am me, a whole mix of things because I refuse to be identified as just one or some of them. Not sure if that makes any sense.. " This is such an important point! Labels can be a help when they come to understanding your self, developing an identity, establishing values etc. But they can be a hindrance if they tie you to a certain narrative, do you down, or make you feel not good enough/bad. They can both empower or disempower you. I rarely see myself in practical label terms and tend to define myself by personality traits - I'd be far more upset if someone tried to take away 'compassionate' from me than 'daughter'. But perhaps that's because one is a fact and one is a belief/action so more vulnerable. | |||
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