FabSwingers.com forum: Is fat an offensive word....

By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

Or is it just descriptive?

I mention that I'm fat in my profile because I am,I have a big tummy,bum and thigh's so being honest as I don't find it offensive at all.

But I get messages saying not to be down on myself as if I'm making an offensive statement

How do you see the word fat?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

It depends how it's said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it’s not offensive

It’s only offensive if you think there’s something wrong with being big

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's a word. The context defines it, the words and intent it is used with are what makes it descriptive or offensive or a compliment.

As people individually is what makes it these things.

Some people will only view it as offensive. Some will view it as something else.

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"It depends how it's said. "

That true, I guess all words can be offensive in that sense!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

It’s just a word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s all about the context it’s used in.

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"No it’s not offensive

It’s only offensive if you think there’s something wrong with being big "

I agree, i think we all all different and have different preferences so no body type is wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not offensive OP - life is getting too bogged down in PC'ness. The context in which we use words is far more important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all in the context. I am fat, others think I am being down on myself or insulting myself, when I say it. I'm not, it just a fact and one I am ok with

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Context is everything!

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x"
Its only offensive if I said you were fat , As I don't know you ,But you saying it about yourself is fine , and your curves are gorgeous and every size is gorgeous, we are all different and that makes us all unique

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x"

Exactly this, I don't say it for any other reason other than its fact

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

There’s a risk of people being offended by any term that can be used in the pejorative, because people are arseholes and someone has used it to upset them.

That said, I consider myself “fat” because I used to be a lot slimmer, and I don’t care who says it.

But others might, especially if they have a weight complex.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x"

BUT at the same time no less deserving of compliments.

This is the thing people get lost in.

They assume fat is an insult (which it can be) but jumping in to argue somebody is not is just as much of an insult.

Again the context of the word fat, and the context of the compliment make a much larger difference.

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol xIts only offensive if I said you were fat , As I don't know you ,But you saying it about yourself is fine , and your curves are gorgeous and every size is gorgeous, we are all different and that makes us all unique "

Absolutely, I love the fact that we are all different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fat too and don’t find the word offensive if used in the right context. But used as an insult I do find offensive x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x

BUT at the same time no less deserving of compliments.

This is the thing people get lost in.

They assume fat is an insult (which it can be) but jumping in to argue somebody is not is just as much of an insult.

Again the context of the word fat, and the context of the compliment make a much larger difference. "

I also thing being offended is a choice, if someone projects the word fat on me as an insult, i simply congratulate them on their impecible observation. Nobody has, nor will, offend me with that word.

Sometimes I get called chubby, and I actually think its cute haha.

I have ZERO desire to be slim, so fat simply cannot insult me.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

How can it be offensive to others when you are using it to describe yourself and no-one else?

A self-deprecating comedian cannot be offensive. One who mocks others can be.

(I guess 'fat' could cover anything from overweight to obese. The person giving you grief may feel particularly heavy if you consider yourself 'fat', I suppose.)

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

Medically I am alot overweight, therefore fat lol x

BUT at the same time no less deserving of compliments.

This is the thing people get lost in.

They assume fat is an insult (which it can be) but jumping in to argue somebody is not is just as much of an insult.

Again the context of the word fat, and the context of the compliment make a much larger difference. "

I think it's when the compliment is 'no your not fat' as if it would be a negative that someone was.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Or is it just descriptive?

I mention that I'm fat in my profile because I am,I have a big tummy,bum and thigh's so being honest as I don't find it offensive at all.

But I get messages saying not to be down on myself as if I'm making an offensive statement

How do you see the word fat?"

If you used the word about yourself then no one should question it.

Amazing how patronising some people are in messages. I'm sure they mean it kindly. Also 'odd' that they think you are down about it.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I would rather class someone as overweight rather than fat

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"It's all in the context. I am fat, others think I am being down on myself or insulting myself, when I say it. I'm not, it just a fact and one I am ok with

Absolutely

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

But it is not offensive it the intent was not intended to be, and that she does not take offense to being called it (based on how it is said and how she takes it).

Being offended is an individual thing that people like to assume is universal when it is not.

In turn you finding it offensive to call somebody something is just you saying you would be offended if you were called it.

However it is still Important to take in to consideration how somebody else would feel. Despite my feeling towards words and context I don't use it as an excuse to go around calling people fall or ugly or whatever and passing it off as just the way I view things.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I am fat, and I have no problem with saying so.

I do also get messages telling me not to be down on myself because I'm still fabulous. It's tempting to go back and say I know, I never said I wasn't; I'm fucking awesome and I'm fat.

It's a simple, easily observable truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I carry extra fat. But I don't need to be reminded of it by someone else. I have a mirror.

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"How can it be offensive to others when you are using it to describe yourself and no-one else?

A self-deprecating comedian cannot be offensive. One who mocks others can be.

(I guess 'fat' could cover anything from overweight to obese. The person giving you grief may feel particularly heavy if you consider yourself 'fat', I suppose.)

I think it mostly comes from people that associate the word with being a bad thing therefore assuming I don't like myself for it

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"I am fat, and I have no problem with saying so.

I do also get messages telling me not to be down on myself because I'm still fabulous. It's tempting to go back and say I know, I never said I wasn't; I'm fucking awesome and I'm fat.

It's a simple, easily observable truth."

Exactly!!!

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By *ad steMan
over a year ago

Southport

If you're describing your self then how can it be offensive that is your opinion description of yourself and who is anybody to tell you you are wrong can I just add after taking a quick nosey are your pictures that would not be my description of you we all hAve a different view of our selves there is no real right and wrong just the image in your head as long as you're happy with how and who you are those that like to degrade I'm not worth your time I would describe myself as fugly everybody's opinion I am happy with who I am what I am those look like me good for them those they don't party on and happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all in the context. I am fat, others think I am being down on myself or insulting myself, when I say it. I'm not, it just a fact and one I am ok with

Exactly this. It annoys the hell out of me when men tell me I’m not fat and not to put myself down. I’m simply stating a fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about how it is said I suppose. I think too many people use the word in a derogatory way so it's not really a surprise people see it as negative and will jump to your defence.

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"I am of the same mindset as you OP, fat is not offensive, it is truthful.

I get frustrated when I call myself fat and people jump in to compliment me, I was making a statement, not fishing for compliments or reassurance im not.

But it is not offensive it the intent was not intended to be, and that she does not take offense to being called it (based on how it is said and how she takes it).

Being offended is an individual thing that people like to assume is universal when it is not.

In turn you finding it offensive to call somebody something is just you saying you would be offended if you were called it.

Absolutely,I use it as a descriptive word about myself physically and thats it based on the fact it's descriptive.

I also understand some people might be upset to be called fat so don't use it to describe others,despite my views on the word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me: "I'm so fat"

Friend: "No you are not you are beautiful"

Me:"I said I was fat not ugly"

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By *az080378 OP Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"Or is it just descriptive?

I mention that I'm fat in my profile because I am,I have a big tummy,bum and thigh's so being honest as I don't find it offensive at all.

But I get messages saying not to be down on myself as if I'm making an offensive statement

How do you see the word fat?

If you used the word about yourself then no one should question it.

Amazing how patronising some people are in messages. I'm sure they mean it kindly. Also 'odd' that they think you are down about it.

I'm sure they do too but if I was upset by it I would probably do all those scary things like not eating as much chocolate and cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its just a word, a descriptive word but as with swearing it can be used in a negative fashion enjoy people dont dismiss them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all in the context. I am fat, others think I am being down on myself or insulting myself, when I say it. I'm not, it just a fact and one I am ok with

Exactly this. It annoys the hell out of me when men tell me I’m not fat and not to put myself down. I’m simply stating a fact

I’ve lived and worked in the US and have seen some really, really obese people who call themselves large or fat. When I see women in here calling themselves fat, pictures of the US peeps spring into my mind and I have to say ‘I don’t think you’re fat at all’. I suppose it’s what you’re comparing to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me: "I'm so fat"

Friend: "No you are not you are beautiful"

Me:"I said I was fat not ugly"

Exactly!! I am bloody gorgeous... And flabby

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By *esse1972Man
over a year ago

Rugeley

Im fat, but sometimes you can take it badly depending on your mood.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I find it an offensive term to use towards people. If you choose to call yourself that then it’s up to you obviously.

Fat is what I have it is not what I am.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's too often used as an insult to be seen as a descriptive word. It's often followed by "bitch" "cow" "slag" "bastard", women who aren't fat are often told they are by emotional abusers. So it's a loaded word.

If you want to reclaim it I think there's a lot of work to do

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's a descriptive word as you say but many use it as an insult which has given the word negative connotations.

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

If someone calls me fat, then that's fine, as it describes me.

If someone calls me a fat bastard, then that offends me as I know who the milkman was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it’s not offensive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or is it just descriptive?

I mention that I'm fat in my profile because I am,I have a big tummy,bum and thigh's so being honest as I don't find it offensive at all.

But I get messages saying not to be down on myself as if I'm making an offensive statement

How do you see the word fat?"

Personally for me I’d say that you have an incredible figure and some pretty amazing curves too

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

"Or is it just descriptive?

I mention that I'm fat in my profile because I am,I have a big tummy,bum and thigh's so being honest as I don't find it offensive at all.

But I get messages saying not to be down on myself as if I'm making an offensive statement

How do you see the word fat?"

It depends on if it is delivered in an offensive manner surely. A word on its own without context is merely an isolated collection of letters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat is just a word but it's the context it's used in...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Generally we ought to be able to describe ourselves as we decide to, using adjectives of our choice. Caveats may be where these could reasonably be expected to cause distress to others.

It's very different to using words for others, unless invited to with their consent.

Fat and similar words reflect words that have been used to upset others, so it's reasonable not to use them in a context that could be deemed perusal insults. In a general discussion, there are ways to explain yourself without insulting others, if it's a general discussion of excess weight and health, for example.

Men in fab are notorious for rescuing damsels in distress, or showing their white knight credentials - typically to gain vag credit. Whilst the ops received claims her self-descriptive terms were offensive, the men weren't offended, they wanted to shag. Take all such mail with a huge pinch of salt.

If we all respect each other, those insisting on calling a spade a spade, will just use that approach for themselves and only when there's no hidden agenda for anything other than simple help to others that could not reasonably be seen as any thing but that.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Generally we ought to be able to describe ourselves as we decide to, using adjectives of our choice. Caveats may be where these could reasonably be expected to cause distress to others.

It's very different to using words for others, unless invited to with their consent.

Fat and similar words reflect words that have been used to upset others, so it's reasonable not to use them in a context that could be deemed passive aggressive insults. In a general discussion, there are ways to explain yourself without insulting others, if it's a general discussion of excess weight and health, for example.

Not sure where perusal came from

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