FabSwingers.com forum: Reply privately?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads?

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

There is a way. It's secret though, I'll pm you.

...I kid, I kid.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads? "

Unfortunately I don't think there is. People often use it as a way of directly communicating or saying something they'd rather keep private. Only way to stop it is to not post it seems. Not sure how it works with filters though....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn filters on

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

When someone privately mails off a thread, it is usually a positive outcome for me. Some extra advice etc. Apart from the odd mail using as a platform to gain a meet, it doesn't bother me.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Cuz they are trying get in ur pants

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I have no problem with folk replying privately if they wish to...

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

Oh, and I often do it myself

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

One of the issues of the site & life, people all use it differently so you’re always thinking

“Are they just friendly forumites?”

“Do they want to chat more?”

“Do they want to get in our pants?”

So now we will just answer they chat/question & see if they progress it but would much rather someone just said “You guys seem ...whatever“

The ones n our opinion you should ignore are the lurkers, the ones that do not post on the thread but message because if a comment you made on it.

It’s one thing posting & moving it to messages quite another just using others posts to give you a reason to message without being part of the public forum conversation in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads? "

Damn. I was going to send a hilarious ‘reply privately’ but I’m outside of your age filter (too old it seems

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately not.

I don’t usually mind - but some folk are bloody chancers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads? "

No not completely!

You can use your filters to block all people and be the one to make first contact though.

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads?

Damn. I was going to send a hilarious ‘reply privately’ but I’m outside of your age filter (too old it seems

)

A prime example. I mailed you to apologise for my appalling foot in mouth comment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread "

I have my filters on but people who match my 'criteria' can still message me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of the issues of the site & life, people all use it differently so you’re always thinking

“Are they just friendly forumites?”

“Do they want to chat more?”

“Do they want to get in our pants?”

So now we will just answer they chat/question & see if they progress it but would much rather someone just said “You guys seem ...whatever“

The ones n our opinion you should ignore are the lurkers, the ones that do not post on the thread but message because if a comment you made on it.

It’s one thing posting & moving it to messages quite another just using others posts to give you a reason to message without being part of the public forum conversation in the first place.

I should of specified.

It seems to be the latter, people who lurk on the forums then message privately!

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Just had same thing happened to me, I don’t want to use filters, but forum should have an option to accept or not accept pvt messages if you put a new post up..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had same thing happened to me, I don’t want to use filters, but forum should have an option to accept or not accept pvt messages if you put a new post up.."

That would be good. Or even if you’re replying to a forum post. So many times I’ve had folk message me instead of just replying on the forum post. I don’t get why.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If someone is within your preferences and not filtered out by you they can message you privately. The only difference the reply privately button makes is that they would need to make one extra click of it wasn't there.

Great those messages like any other you don't want

. If you'd rather they replied to you on the forum say so or ignore their message.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Great not great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone is within your preferences and not filtered out by you they can message you privately. The only difference the reply privately button makes is that they would need to make one extra click of it wasn't there.

Great those messages like any other you don't want

. If you'd rather they replied to you on the forum say so or ignore their message.

I ignore cause I’m a bar person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great not great"

Thanks for clearing that up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great those messages like any other you don't want

. If you'd rather they replied to you on the forum say so or ignore their message.

I ignore cause I’m a bar person "

Bad. Darn it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great those messages like any other you don't want

. If you'd rather they replied to you on the forum say so or ignore their message.

I ignore cause I’m a bar person "

Pink champagne please

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread

I have my filters on but people who match my 'criteria' can still message me "

Then the only choices you have are to either set them tighter or set them completely and not allow anyone to message you unless you message them first, or accept that it will happen and just ignore those that are unwelcome

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Just had same thing happened to me, I don’t want to use filters, but forum should have an option to accept or not accept pvt messages if you put a new post up.."

But that wouldn't work as all that would happen is people would go to your profile and message from there if they really wanted to message you.

The other thing that can sometimes happen is that people press the "Reply Privately" button in error when they meant to press "Reply In Forum"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Great not great

Thanks for clearing that up

I swear this kindle is out to get me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread

I have my filters on but people who match my 'criteria' can still message me "

They still would. As I pointed out, it's just an extra click for them

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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago

rochdale oldham border

"There is a way. It's secret though, I'll pm you.

...I kid, I kid.

Lol

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

"Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread

I have my filters on but people who match my 'criteria' can still message me

They still would. As I pointed out, it's just an extra click for them"

And an extra purchase for some. Come on, your shoes/feet love me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great not great

Thanks for clearing that up

I swear this kindle is out to get me"

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Generally I welcome PM's from threads, I've had some great interactions and friends from that sort of thing.

I think what you're talking about is lurkers though, people who read the threads and comment on anything sexual or jump on the picture sharing threads. I've never had that personally (as I'm not female) but I think it undermines the point of the forums and they could be trying to get around a ban. In that situation, your only recourse is delete and block. It's a pain but there's no accounting for some peoples ability to be creepy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Only thing I can suggest is set your filters if they're not already - there's no way to completely stop them from everyone (although setting not looking for single men stops it from them).

I personally don't mind if someone has something more "private" to say off the back of a thread, or something that might detract from the flow of the thread

I have my filters on but people who match my 'criteria' can still message me

They still would. As I pointed out, it's just an extra click for them

And an extra purchase for some. Come on, your shoes/feet love me

Yeah I'm veeeery careful what I ask questions about. Before I know it I'm typing QVC into the browser bar

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 10/01/20 10:04:47]

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"One of the issues of the site & life, people all use it differently so you’re always thinking

“Are they just friendly forumites?”

“Do they want to chat more?”

“Do they want to get in our pants?”

So now we will just answer they chat/question & see if they progress it but would much rather someone just said “You guys seem ...whatever“

The ones n our opinion you should ignore are the lurkers, the ones that do not post on the thread but message because if a comment you made on it.

It’s one thing posting & moving it to messages quite another just using others posts to give you a reason to message without being part of the public forum conversation in the first place.

I should of specified.

It seems to be the latter, people who lurk on the forums then message privately! "

We’ve blocked guys so receive very few but if they are not part of the thread we don’t answer them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New members cant post in the forum, or those unverified/banned.

Others might want to avoid arguments that some posts inevitably turn into.

Maybe some are trying to message with something more than just hi and make it something interesting and relevant.

Or possibly they dont want others to see who they are talking to and are avoiding any jealously.

Maybe its just hot air to try their luck but at least they took the effort to send something more than "fancy a fuck?"

Its sad that people get annoyed because someone messages them. You dont have to reply, or even read it. Its not even a slight inconvenience for you to recieve a message.

Straight guys are told to take it as a compliment when men message them yet women and couples treat men like scum for having the audacity to try and start a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"New members cant post in the forum, or those unverified/banned.

Others might want to avoid arguments that some posts inevitably turn into.

Maybe some are trying to message with something more than just hi and make it something interesting and relevant.

Or possibly they dont want others to see who they are talking to and are avoiding any jealously.

Maybe its just hot air to try their luck but at least they took the effort to send something more than "fancy a fuck?"

Its sad that people get annoyed because someone messages them. You dont have to reply, or even read it. Its not even a slight inconvenience for you to recieve a message.

Straight guys are told to take it as a compliment when men message them yet women and couples treat men like scum for having the audacity to try and start a conversation."

Well you're entitled to your opinion.

As people are entitled to being annoyed about it.

I post on the forum but I want to post on the FORUM. I've no interest in people trying to carry on topics in my private messages.

It does inconvenience me because it adds to the messages that I then have to sift through and delete

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've privately replied to forum posts before now. Especially if it's been about a topic that I've experienced, like abuse, and I've wanted to offer support or say what I've went through and that there is a way out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New members cant post in the forum, or those unverified/banned.

Others might want to avoid arguments that some posts inevitably turn into.

Maybe some are trying to message with something more than just hi and make it something interesting and relevant.

Or possibly they dont want others to see who they are talking to and are avoiding any jealously.

Maybe its just hot air to try their luck but at least they took the effort to send something more than "fancy a fuck?"

Its sad that people get annoyed because someone messages them. You dont have to reply, or even read it. Its not even a slight inconvenience for you to recieve a message.

Straight guys are told to take it as a compliment when men message them yet women and couples treat men like scum for having the audacity to try and start a conversation.

Well you're entitled to your opinion.

As people are entitled to being annoyed about it.

I post on the forum but I want to post on the FORUM. I've no interest in people trying to carry on topics in my private messages.

It does inconvenience me because it adds to the messages that I then have to sift through and delete

Well you carry on just posting in the forum and others will carry on using the site how they want.

People are entitled to do that, aren't they..?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Generally I welcome PM's from threads, I've had some great interactions and friends from that sort of thing.

I tend to agree with this.

As you say, not female so can't fully realise the frustration it may cause but take away the lurkers and the messages that are just using it as an excuse to sneak a message in, then you are left with genuine people who find what you have said is interesting enough to worth chatting on a little more one to one level, possibly about what was said or in relation to what you have said, but didn't want to take the thread off topic too much.

You never know what may come from such things. Limiting interactions (genuine ones of course) you may have something amazing pass you by that you would otherwise. I have had some amazing conversations and connections made off the back of messages sent and received because of a forum topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New members cant post in the forum, or those unverified/banned.

Others might want to avoid arguments that some posts inevitably turn into.

Maybe some are trying to message with something more than just hi and make it something interesting and relevant.

Or possibly they dont want others to see who they are talking to and are avoiding any jealously.

Maybe its just hot air to try their luck but at least they took the effort to send something more than "fancy a fuck?"

Its sad that people get annoyed because someone messages them. You dont have to reply, or even read it. Its not even a slight inconvenience for you to recieve a message.

Straight guys are told to take it as a compliment when men message them yet women and couples treat men like scum for having the audacity to try and start a conversation.

Well you're entitled to your opinion.

As people are entitled to being annoyed about it.

I post on the forum but I want to post on the FORUM. I've no interest in people trying to carry on topics in my private messages.

It does inconvenience me because it adds to the messages that I then have to sift through and delete

Well you carry on just posting in the forum and others will carry on using the site how they want.

People are entitled to do that, aren't they..?

Btw, how is anyone supposed to know you only want to post in the forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had a negative pm from posts I've made so not a problem for me. Will probably will get my first one now but that's not an invite!

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

"Never had a negative pm from posts I've made so not a problem for me. Will probably will get my first one now but that's not an invite!

I have had the occasional negative, and some using it as a platform to gain a meet. You said you liked men with long hair on my thread, well here I am sort of thing. Most PM'S have been welcomed by both parties, friendships and connections have been made. Sometimes you don't want to post personal experiences on the forums, but they are what you feel are relevant to a posters dilemma, I will PM. Sometimes the threads can turn a bit toxic with certain posters, I PM'd support on occasion.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Whats wrong with..

"Can I PM you?"..

Quite a few do say that...

Anyone on here worried about what others think regarding who they are talking to on a swingers site probably isn't for us anyway..

But as per the rest of the site "You do you, I'll do me" still applies..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whats wrong with..

"Can I PM you?"..

Quite a few do say that...

Anyone on here worried about what others think regarding who they are talking to on a swingers site probably isn't for us anyway..

But as per the rest of the site "You do you, I'll do me" still applies..

I always do this if I want to private message someone on the back of a forum thread !

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads?

Damn. I was going to send a hilarious ‘reply privately’ but I’m outside of your age filter (too old it seems

)

In my experience I doubt she has managed to escape this witticism. I asked a similar question last year and my inbox filled right up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there a way to opt out of this?

I get so many messages from people trying to continue forum topics in my private inbox, why do people not just reply on the forum threads?

Damn. I was going to send a hilarious ‘reply privately’ but I’m outside of your age filter (too old it seems

)

In my experience I doubt she has managed to escape this witticism. I asked a similar question last year and my inbox filled right up. "

Yup lots of people trying to be funny got blocked this morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a few spin off PM's from threads, have used it for both spin off and when things get a bit personal when offering support.

Key benefit is both sides are hopefully already communicating, but then nobody wants to get in my pants so perhaps I get the best of it.

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I'd love the ability to opt out - on a forum discussion I'd rather the replies be kept on the thread. Most of the time the reply privately messages I get are from "straight" guys who don't want to be seen flirting with a TV

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Just delete them, unfortunately there's no filter to stop them from messaging.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

[Removed by poster at 10/01/20 14:43:11]

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I agree totally it is really annoying I wish there was a way to opt out of people replying privately from forum posts.

The reason that I don't want them to is because I only want to chat on the forum, not privately, I only chat privately to friends I already know in person, and I don't have time to answer all the private messages I get, often containing information that I would feel if useful to others in a forum thread but is now in my inbox, with me potentially seeming rude if I don't reply, but not having the time to reply to most of them, whereas on the thread people can join in the conversation, reply and give their opinions, it's not an onus on me to reply to people individually, who were at one part part of a group chat.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"I'd love the ability to opt out - on a forum discussion I'd rather the replies be kept on the thread. Most of the time the reply privately messages I get are from "straight" guys who don't want to be seen flirting with a TV "

It's OK, I will flirt with you, don't mind who sees....!!!

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

It's OK, I will flirt with you, don't mind who sees....!!!"

Well thank you very much kind sir

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've blocked a few people for this. Usually when they're doing it because there's a reason they don't want to say it publically such as being unpleasant to me or about other posters.

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