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I find it hard to orgasm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hey!

so this is fairly embarrassing to discuss but i cant exactly got to my family for help!

ive been sexually active since i was 21 "late bloomer" and one thing that has been difficult for me to do is cum durring sex sometimes i will but its rare and it makes me worry that my female partners might find it insulting?

ive learnt to accept it and use it to my advantage as ive been lucky as the ladies have enjoyed the extra attention as a result ive earnt a reputation for lasting hours.

but the novelty does wear out any other guys had this issue and ide like to know what the ladies here think

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

if anyone can help me (not litteraly) with advice please dm me or post here

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Define orgasm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ejaculate i suppose

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Hey!

so this is fairly embarrassing to discuss but i cant exactly got to my family for help!

ive been sexually active since i was 21 "late bloomer" and one thing that has been difficult for me to do is cum durring sex sometimes i will but its rare and it makes me worry that my female partners might find it insulting?

ive learnt to accept it and use it to my advantage as ive been lucky as the ladies have enjoyed the extra attention as a result ive earnt a reputation for lasting hours.

but the novelty does wear out any other guys had this issue and ide like to know what the ladies here think "

Speaking as a woman, if I knew beforehand that the guy may not cum from penetrative sex then that would ok. I would have the reassurance that it wasn't because I didn't turn him on. If it was a regular partner we could just relax and go with the flow. There are other ways to finish. Talking is key x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Can you cum through masturbation or other methods? Or not at all?

Either way a discussion with your GP would be the best bet - nothing to be embarrassed about, they have seen and heard far far worse - but worth it to ensure there are no medical reasons for it.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

And OP, try not to be embarrased..I dare say there are a few of us who have our insecurities and that's ok. They can be worked out/on one way or another, if both parties know about them x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

i can indeed and i am considering the dreaded visit to the gp but i think it may be worth while long term

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"And OP, try not to be embarrased..I dare say there are a few of us who have our insecurities and that's ok. They can be worked out/on one way or another, if both parties know about them x"

Exactly this - being open and honest is the key, because then everyone knows where they stand and aren't surprised or think it's them.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!"

Ok..that in itself probably makes it more difficult to relax and cum

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"i can indeed and i am considering the dreaded visit to the gp but i think it may be worth while long term"

Try not to see it as "dreaded" - that's partly what GPs are there for, to give medical advice and reassurance and if necessary refer you for treatment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

true but i do feel guilty fir the poor girl trying her hardest sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

this is true i appreciate the advice!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!

Ok..that in itself probably makes it more difficult to relax and cum"

If it's just specific things that you find result in you not coming, whereas you can in other ways again it comes down to communication - there's nothing wrong with saying "that feels great but if you do this it'll tip me over the edge" kind of thing - people aren't mind readers and sometimes a little guidance goes a long way

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I don't always cum OP. I could climax while masturbating but not always with a partner. Recently I have been pleasantly surprised and able to cum especially with a certain partner.

That doesn't mean I haven't really enjoyed myself..in fact I really loved it but just couldn't quite get there.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!

Ok..that in itself probably makes it more difficult to relax and cum

If it's just specific things that you find result in you not coming, whereas you can in other ways again it comes down to communication - there's nothing wrong with saying "that feels great but if you do this it'll tip me over the edge" kind of thing - people aren't mind readers and sometimes a little guidance goes a long way"

A little guidance certainly helps.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"true but i do feel guilty fir the poor girl trying her hardest sometimes "

But if you've not told her how would she know?

P.S. If you use the reply and quote button we'll know who you're replying to

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"true but i do feel guilty fir the poor girl trying her hardest sometimes "

Don't feel guilty about that..I have felt that in the past and it really doesn't help the situation.

Know, I'm like, this feels really good, I'm loving this...communicate. If the guy has cum I'll just take over and get off on him watching as I cum for us.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!"

I sometimes have the same problem. Oral is sometimes impossible. Im pretty sure for me, its a psychological issue. I can find it hard to relax and just go with it. I think i have become a bit too dependant on masturbation to cum, and anything thats a bit gentler doesnt quite do it. I know if ive gone a week without cumming then its a lot less of a problem, but i usually knock a couple out a day at least. If i have a meet planned, i will resist temptation and then enjoy my first orgasm with my partner a lot more.

I also find that when i know my partner is giving me oral because they really get off on doing it, then i can get into it too. Also a 69 stops you overthinking the situation (which can be the cause of the trouble).

So i would suggest 69ing and see if that helps. If it doesnt, at least your partner has enjoyed themselves.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Ejaculate i suppose"

Have you ever edged yourself until you get to that point....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"this is something ive learnt as ive gotten older,

ive just had a few awkward occasions whilst receiving oral ive been question on why im not finishing and the short answer is it feels great but i dont know!

I sometimes have the same problem. Oral is sometimes impossible. Im pretty sure for me, its a psychological issue. I can find it hard to relax and just go with it. I think i have become a bit too dependant on masturbation to cum, and anything thats a bit gentler doesnt quite do it. I know if ive gone a week without cumming then its a lot less of a problem, but i usually knock a couple out a day at least. If i have a meet planned, i will resist temptation and then enjoy my first orgasm with my partner a lot more.

I also find that when i know my partner is giving me oral because they really get off on doing it, then i can get into it too. Also a 69 stops you overthinking the situation (which can be the cause of the trouble).

So i would suggest 69ing and see if that helps. If it doesnt, at least your partner has enjoyed themselves."

Over thinking is definitely not good

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Hey!

so this is fairly embarrassing to discuss but i cant exactly got to my family for help!

ive been sexually active since i was 21 "late bloomer" and one thing that has been difficult for me to do is cum durring sex sometimes i will but its rare and it makes me worry that my female partners might find it insulting?

ive learnt to accept it and use it to my advantage as ive been lucky as the ladies have enjoyed the extra attention as a result ive earnt a reputation for lasting hours.

but the novelty does wear out any other guys had this issue and ide like to know what the ladies here think "

No the ladies I (plus my good lady) meet have been stunningly sexually stimulating. Think the other end of the spectrum is the problem.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"thinking is definitely not good "

It depends on what you're thinking about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The embarrassment I understand fully..it's hard not to be...my ability has recently gone, full stop...I did have a big scare the other night, thought life was over so am wondering if the two are linked...have been under a lot of stress with my issues....my gf says your inability is not something she d be put off by, as an earlier post said..there's always a way to get total pleasure..so don t worry about it..enjoy your ability to keep going lol

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think as GM said; communication is the key. If your partners are aware that you have this 'problem' then it makes it more fun for those involved, there will be less pressure for you to cum and ironically you'll be more likely to.

From what you've written as well, it sounds like you might be a bit desensitised from masturbating. If you put yourself on a wank ban for a while, you might find that you cum more during sex. Just a thought!

I would definitely say to see the GP though, much as it has its benefits, it could point to an issue. Its never anything to be embarrassed about, GPs are people too and people have sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you on any medication? Sometimes an unwanted side effect is difficulty cumming.

A friend on meds could manage it through masturbation when the touch was just right, but virtually never with a partner.

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