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Is it too hard???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hiya guys,

Little bit of a rant then I’ll smile.

How annoyed do you get when you send someone a message to be completely ignored?

I understand signal ladies get 1,000’s of messages but a ‘no thanks is not too hard. I reply to every message I get, male of female.

I think the bit that gets to me is that you make an effort, no copy and paste. You personalise it to the individual and not even a ‘No thanks’

If I received 1,000’s of messages a day I would try and reply, if not I would block the person also to say no thanks.

What do you guys and girls think. But I want people to understand I get it but I just want to know what you think and do.

Mat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annoying as fuck that's why I haven't messaged anyone past week one let them come to you mate

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By *ystic DWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

When I first joined here I replied to every message with thanks or no in a very polite manner. However ,it is impossible to carry this on with the amount of messages( even at my age ) women receive . It is very nice and I'm not complaining but they became abusive , hence I do not reply now unless it is obvious they have read my profile x

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph

I appreciate your frustration, I really do. The only way you would truly understand is to try opening a single female profile and see the volume of messages. Add to that the people who repeatedly message before you have even opened their first one. Add to that the polite no thank you often leads to questions why not......and then multiplied by 300. I am not complaining about my experiences, I am trying to explain why it isn't physically possible sometimes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I appreciate your frustration, I really do. The only way you would truly understand is to try opening a single female profile and see the volume of messages. Add to that the people who repeatedly message before you have even opened their first one. Add to that the polite no thank you often leads to questions why not......and then multiplied by 300. I am not complaining about my experiences, I am trying to explain why it isn't physically possible sometimes "

Oh I completely understand, if just a bit of a downer for the genuine guys out there.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

You reply to every message but probably get a handful at best - so it takes no time at all.

Even with filters some ladies can get 50+ messages a day, now to decide if it's a "no thanks" or a "tell me more" response they send they will check the profile etc before typing a response - so let's allow 3 minutes on average per message received to respond - that's almost 2 and a half hours a day just on replying to every message - without taking into account using the forums, doing their own searches or whatever else they may use the site for.

If you had that level of time to invest *just* to respond to every message - would you?

And that's before you even consider the potential that a "no thanks" will generate abusive replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very politely explain on my profile that if I'm not interested I won't reply and to take my good wishes as read. If you then choose to message knowing its possible your message will be read and deleted you can't really complain when it is. My time is mine just as yours is yours, we both get to choose how and on whom we spend it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Girls get battered with tons of messages anyway, you can’t expect every message to be read and replied too it simply isn’t practical, it’s not people being assy it’s just not physically possible from what I can see

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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago

Biddulph


"I appreciate your frustration, I really do. The only way you would truly understand is to try opening a single female profile and see the volume of messages. Add to that the people who repeatedly message before you have even opened their first one. Add to that the polite no thank you often leads to questions why not......and then multiplied by 300. I am not complaining about my experiences, I am trying to explain why it isn't physically possible sometimes

Oh I completely understand, if just a bit of a downer for the genuine guys out there. "

But every man who mails, claims he is "genuine" and often persistent. Multiply that by hundreds

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I appreciate your frustration, I really do. The only way you would truly understand is to try opening a single female profile and see the volume of messages. Add to that the people who repeatedly message before you have even opened their first one. Add to that the polite no thank you often leads to questions why not......and then multiplied by 300. I am not complaining about my experiences, I am trying to explain why it isn't physically possible sometimes

Oh I completely understand, if just a bit of a downer for the genuine guys out there. "

It's only a downer if you make it a downer though - accept that you won't get a reply to every message, carry on having a positive attitude and the right expectations and approach and being respectful and considerate and it won't guarantee a thing, but your experience will be a whole lot better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to those who have used my code word. It says clearly on my profile that no code word = no reply so it's on them really. If they can't take 30 seconds out of their lives to quickly scan my bio then I don't see why I should have put in the time and effort to send them a "thanks but no thanks".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't listen to them pal just don't message much easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I very politely explain on my profile that if I'm not interested I won't reply and to take my good wishes as read. If you then choose to message knowing its possible your message will be read and deleted you can't really complain when it is. My time is mine just as yours is yours, we both get to choose how and on whom we spend it. "

No what you said is fair and I totally understand if it says it on the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)"

Great idea for a thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)"

I didn't send you that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)"

Did I send that? It rings a bell!

I always wondered, does it ever work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you reply to all the junk mail you receive in the post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)

I didn't send you that "

No cos you dont message anyone since week 1. Apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)

Did I send that? It rings a bell!

I always wondered, does it ever work lol "

Funnily enough I have asked this a handful of times to men who have sent me these types of messages and worse. The answer has always been the same: "I was just trying to get your attention.". Sad, really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)

Great idea for a thread "

I'm doing it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your messages are better than this:

"Why babes. Can u gag? Look good heels ! Be hot u gaging on cock"

Then you're alright by me!

(This was my latest message)

I didn't send you that

No cos you dont message anyone since week 1. Apparently "

You just message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP

One one hand you say you get it but then you say it's not to hard to for them to reply to all the messages the proves without doubt you don't get it.

Would you dedicate 2 hours+ every night (working on 300ish messages a day and reply to each taking just 30 seconds on average).??

Imagine your ill one night or have plans then the next evening it's going to take 4 hrs now to catch up the day before aswell.

All to reply to people you have no interest in at all The 50% will message back with why not, try and challenge your decision, beg or worse throw abuse.

That's without giving any time to messaging all those that you are interested in or are friends etc.

KJ

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire


"You reply to every message but probably get a handful at best - so it takes no time at all.

Even with filters some ladies can get 50+ messages a day, now to decide if it's a "no thanks" or a "tell me more" response they send they will check the profile etc before typing a response - so let's allow 3 minutes on average per message received to respond - that's almost 2 and a half hours a day just on replying to every message - without taking into account using the forums, doing their own searches or whatever else they may use the site for.

If you had that level of time to invest *just* to respond to every message - would you?

And that's before you even consider the potential that a "no thanks" will generate abusive replies "

Very well explained and from a man. Nice one Mr.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Must be frustrating.

To put some perspective, I have over 400 unread messages in my inbox. I have a few people that im in contact with already and don't have capacity for more right now. I could be responding to all the messages but I'm responding to your post instead..and having a diddle about in the forums instead.

Most messages don't even tally with my profile requests so sometimes the ones that do get missed.. I have a look through every now and try to reply to the ones where it's clear they've made an effort.

Patience and don't presume all women are rude for not replying.. there are often more reasons than that.

X

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Hello OP.

Your right, 'No thanks' doesn't take long to write and send, however that's not usually the end of it.

It's already been mentioned about the replies 'why not?' and then the inevitable abuse. But one thing that hasn't been mentioned is that it only takes one reply to prevent your message filters ever working, and that is simply something that a lot of people dont like.

For instance. You message us, we say 'no thanks' and then no matter what we set our message filters too you will always be able to message us. If we set it to no men, you can message. If we set it to no one under 50, you can still message. Do you see why this can get annoying?

We used to make the mistake of trying to reply to all the messages, and all that's happened is that we now have a large following of people we politely turned down five or six years ago that still message us and won't take no for an answer. The only way to stop it is to block them, but for some reason single men don't like that approach either.

The simple fact is that the site says to accept no reply as a polite no thanks, and whether you like it or not there isn't much you can do about it.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I have 200 unread messages......... Oops, sorry that should say 002 messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Must be frustrating.

To put some perspective, I have over 400 unread messages in my inbox. I have a few people that im in contact with already and don't have capacity for more right now. I could be responding to all the messages but I'm responding to your post instead..and having a diddle about in the forums instead.

Most messages don't even tally with my profile requests so sometimes the ones that do get missed.. I have a look through every now and try to reply to the ones where it's clear they've made an effort.

Patience and don't presume all women are rude for not replying.. there are often more reasons than that.

X

"

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have 200 unread messages......... Oops, sorry that should say 002 messages. "

It could be 003, but I am blocked!

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