FabSwingers.com forum: Tube etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So on my way home tonight I got onto a tube carriage with no free seats so I stood by the door instead - fine by me, I didn't have too far to go and I could do with the exercise if I'm honest. Then this d*unk guy gets on, looks at me and immediately proceeds to loudly have a go at all of the men in the carriage for not giving up their seat for me, and that no lady should ever stand

What I wanted to do was tell him that actually, the year is 2020, I am perfectly okay standing and I wouldn't expect anybody to give up their seat for an able bodied person regardless of their sex. What I did in reality was silently stare at the floor waiting for it to open up and swallow me.

So because it's a weeknight and I'm bored - would any men on here offer their seat to a lady? Is it an outdated concept? Should I have confronted the d*unk lairy man? Answers on a postcard.

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

I offer it up anyway because I’m chivalrous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did anyone give up their seat after his rant at them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would to a man or woman carrying a child or loads of shopping or an older person.

But honestly, if it's just anyone else, not really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did anyone give up their seat after his rant at them?"

Not a single one. Although to be fair he did call them all ballbags.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't travelled on the tube regularly since my twenties, I often gave up mine for older people, pregnant women, women carrying children, basically anyone more deserving than me. I certainly never expected anyone to for me and I wouldn't now, even given my age

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I give up my seat based on need, not just whether it's a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did anyone give up their seat after his rant at them?

Not a single one. Although to be fair he did call them all ballbags. "

Crying laughing

I'm honestly sorry you were embarrassed but.... ballbags!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I have given up my seat many a time on trains; Ladies, old folk, families struggling with children in tow.

Damn....I don’t even bother to sit down anymore

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I use discretion at the time - putting aside elderly or less able people (for whom I always offer my seat if I can) if it's someone that looks like they could use the seat more than me and I can do so easily, I'll always offer but not insist.

I think in the circumstances you describe I'd have been inclined to give a polite "thanks, but no thanks" to the guy doing the ranting but with him being d*unk appreciate that might have made things worse, certainly wouldn't have had a go at him though (not because he was in the right but because you never know how someone will react when worse for wear).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t expect a man to stand up for me on the tube, but in my head, I would be thinking “Selfish tossers!!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not, pregnant, with a small child, handicapped or elderly, I'm not giving up my seat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I use discretion at the time - putting aside elderly or less able people (for whom I always offer my seat if I can) if it's someone that looks like they could use the seat more than me and I can do so easily, I'll always offer but not insist.

Yes if he seemed halfway approachable I like to think I would have tried to reason with him, but as it stood I was already wearing a leopard print coat and having someone cuss out half the people on the carriage on my behalf. Lord knows I did not need any more attention.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

Have given up my seat often for plenty of ladys to sit down.

Though only once was I offered to sit back down on the ladys knees.

Yes I did except the offer at the time.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

When I'm out in full "chloe" mode I still hold a door for a lady, suppose I'm a bit old fashioned.

Not sure if there is a correct answer for the tube issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I'm out in full "chloe" mode I still hold a door for a lady, suppose I'm a bit old fashioned.

Not sure if there is a correct answer for the tube issue."

Holding doors open for others is just what decent people do

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Read a few stories about irate women who have accused men of sexism for offering their seats to women.

Maybe they don’t offer their seat h sh or fear of offending?

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

For fear of offending*

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Same situation occurs on buses.

Due to bad Osteoarthritis in both knees, plus a periodic balance issue identified by my local hospital, I walk with a stick, mainly for my own reassurance, but also as a safeguard when walking.

I've been offered a seat numerous times on buses in different parts of the UK. A similar theme has occurred on busy Regional trains. Each offer has been graciously accepted with a verbal Thank You.

However, I travelled through London last year, unfortunately during rush hour. Not once did anyone offer up their seat.

A possible "one-off" experience for me, but is it maybe a London thing, that passengers don't give up their seats to anyone?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Sorry OP this had me in stitches

Although I feel your pain at wanting the ground to open up, it’s good too see some chivalry, even drink induced, on the tube.

I’m more laughing at what the reaction in the carriage likely was, heads buried and not wanting to look up.

I used to travel on the tube regularly and it’s rare I would take a seat even if free. I’m quite able to stand and learnt to tube surf quite well

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"I would to a man or woman carrying a child or loads of shopping or an older person.

But honestly, if it's just anyone else, not really "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I give up my seat based on need, not just whether it's a woman. "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I will say, people talk about declining manners. I was on crutches for a good while a couple of years back. Almost without exception the kindest of strangers were under 40, and particularly under 25. Without exception the people who made my life miserable were over 50.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I got on a London tube one month after a hysterectomy. The station gave me a card to tell people I needed to be seated. One bloke told me to fuck off so I didn’t date show it again. I felt like I’d run the Marathon. I’d only gone from kings cross to Whitechapel

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Same situation occurs on buses.

Due to bad Osteoarthritis in both knees, plus a periodic balance issue identified by my local hospital, I walk with a stick, mainly for my own reassurance, but also as a safeguard when walking.

I've been offered a seat numerous times on buses in different parts of the UK. A similar theme has occurred on busy Regional trains. Each offer has been graciously accepted with a verbal Thank You.

However, I travelled through London last year, unfortunately during rush hour. Not once did anyone offer up their seat.

A possible "one-off" experience for me, but is it maybe a London thing, that passengers don't give up their seats to anyone?

I think it's more a rush hour thing than a London thing to be honest - people bury their noses in books/papers and don't pay attention to those around them.

Can remember being furious on a packed commuter train out of London years ago where a blind guy was left to stand and sway wildly with the motion of the train while all the seated people around him stared into their navels - unfortunately he was a way down the carriage from me and I was unable to help him until a few people got off at which point I saved him a vacated seat and made sure he was helped to it.

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By *inky SpiceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"So on my way home tonight I got onto a tube carriage with no free seats so I stood by the door instead - fine by me, I didn't have too far to go and I could do with the exercise if I'm honest. Then this d*unk guy gets on, looks at me and immediately proceeds to loudly have a go at all of the men in the carriage for not giving up their seat for me, and that no lady should ever stand

So because it's a weeknight and I'm bored - would any men on here offer their seat to a lady? Is it an outdated concept? Should I have confronted the d*unk lairy man? Answers on a postcard. "

I think you were better off saying nothing as he was d*unk.

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

So because it's a weeknight and I'm bored - would any men on here offer their seat to a lady? Is it an outdated concept? Should I have confronted the d*unk lairy man? Answers on a postcard. "

Definitely offer my seat, he was 100% right!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I got on a London tube one month after a hysterectomy. The station gave me a card to tell people I needed to be seated. One bloke told me to fuck off so I didn’t date show it again. I felt like I’d run the Marathon. I’d only gone from kings cross to Whitechapel "

What?! That's awful! I find travelling on public transport in Central London to be really quite exhausting and that's as an overweight yet otherwise healthy person. I wouldn't be able to imagine how physically demanding it would be on someone who is incapacitated, especially with all the non-accessible stations that really should be step-free in this day and age! Disability is far too under-prioritised by TfL in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to be a bit of a horror but if I let you sit down then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the view of your great ass and legs that would be cheering my journey up no end xxx

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"I will say, people talk about declining manners. I was on crutches for a good while a couple of years back. Almost without exception the kindest of strangers were under 40, and particularly under 25. Without exception the people who made my life miserable were over 50."

I've found it to be varied groupings in different parts of the UK. Where I work in the West Midlands, there's a high volume of travelling students due Warwick Uni nearby- it's young students who invariably offer up their seats on local buses.

But up North in my home town, it's the older generations who offer up a seat. Younger people don't want to do so.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I’ll give up my seat to anybody that has a difficulty. I just think it’s been respectful and courteous

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

I have (and would again) give up my seat for some one who needed it, regardless of gender.

But then again I'm a northerner and dont mind interacting with strangers on the tube.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But up North in my home town, it's the older generations who offer up a seat. Younger people don't want to do so."

I get far more offers where I live on the outskirts of London than in Central (where I get zero)

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By *r.J-Miss.BCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Manners cost nothing but the tube what it is, rhyme and reason and those in apparent need, always!

Courtesy beyond that, unquestionably! I'm the gentlemen who will stand and feel like a doorman, holding it open and letting ladies first etc I still always try and walk on the outside and without causing offence, always like to at least get thr first drink.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I give my seat or space to any type of person generally that may have need due to circumstance or infirmity, except on flights as a norm. I don't engage with d*unk abusive people in general though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have please offer me a seat badge and often have to ask people for a seat and have only once had a bad reaction to this. Most people are very happy to do so. The reason we have to ask is people just don't look up but when they are aware someone needs the seat they are happy to give it up.

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

"We both have please offer me a seat badge and often have to ask people for a seat and have only once had a bad reaction to this. Most people are very happy to do so. The reason we have to ask is people just don't look up but when they are aware someone needs the seat they are happy to give it up. "

Could just sit on my lap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is on most tube lines especially the central and northern line it's always rush hour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could just sit on my lap

Hahaha I actually did sit on someones lap once. My mum was in a wheelchair chair and a perfectly able bodied women was sat in the wheelchair chair space. I asked politely to give up the space and she said "why should I" I explained we needed to put the wheelchair there and her response was "then if you are in wheelchair you shouldn't travel by train" so I told her if she didn't move I would sit on her lap. She shrugged so I did exactly that. She soon moved.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

"The problem is on most tube lines especially the central and northern line it's always rush hour. "

It’s not that bad as London is just get used to it that’s how it is and pay through the nose for it

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

I'd have invited you sit on my lap OP...

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

I would as that was how my father brought me up. Its not dated and I dont think its sexist.

If it was a parent and child then there is no question and an elderly man as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd have invited you sit on my lap OP...

Behave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem is on most tube lines especially the central and northern line it's always rush hour.

It’s not that bad as London is just get used to it that’s how it is and pay through the nose for it

It that bad. I think travel in London is really cheap compared to most of the country.

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By *urvyandCurious999Woman
over a year ago

Hiding from twats

You lot are all lovely! I had to travel on the tube when I was heavily pregnant, toddler in tow, and using crutches. Not one bugger offered me a seat. The same thing happened at a pregnancy clinic, where half the seats were taken up by husbands/partners. Wankers. I nearly fainted from the heat and ended up sitting on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t expect a guy to offer his seat for me. I would think it’s a lovely gesture but politely decline. Then I would be thinking, he thought I’m an auld bugger, how rude

Poor men can’t do right for doing wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't really see the big deal, different folk have different standards of etiquette innit. The dude shouldn't be shouting ballbags at ppl on a tube though....

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